"Alright ladies, listen up!" Hermione Granger called out across the living room of her flat to the group of women milling about chatting. One by one, they all silenced their conversations, and turned their attention towards her.

"Thank you," she said with a smile. "Now, we all know why we're here tonight. Ginny? Where'd Ginny go?" Hermione spied the redhead standing with Luna Lovegood over by her kitchen. "Ginny, get over here! Thank you. Okay, like I was saying, we all know why we're here. Our little Ginny Weasley is going to become Mrs. Ginny POTTER in one week!"

A raucous cheer went up amongst the ladies. Hermione waited a few beats for the hoots and hollers to die down before continuing.

"Now, now…" she said, waving her hands for quiet. "As some of you may know, Ginny here had one request before she changes her last name, and confines herself to marital servitude for the rest of her life."

"Hey!" Ginny yelled. "There will be no servitude on my end, thank you very much!"

The ladies broke out into laughter and cheers of "You tell her!" and "Here! Here!".

Ginny beamed. "If anything it'll be Harry serving me!" More laughter.

"Okay, okay, I take back the servitude remark!" Hermione joked.

"Thank you," said Ginny.

"Alright, back to the matter at hand," Hermione once again called for attention. It was like herding cats with these girls. "Ginny's one request was for a very special hen night. As she's marrying a wizard that was raised in the Muggle world, she has deemed that tonight be a…. wait for it… Muggle Hen Night!"

More cheers bombarded Hermione's ears. There were also some startled gasps mixed in, and a couple of the witches present just looked at Hermione confused.

"What exactly is a Muggle hen night?" Romilda Vane asked nervously.

Hermione sighed. She still wasn't sure why Ginny had invited a girl who had once tried to poison her fiancé, and successfully poisoned her brother Ron Weasley instead of Harry. Sure, love potion wasn't exactly poison, but Hermione still considered it thus given Romilda's tactics. She had to assume that the invite was extended to Romilda strictly because they had roomed together at Hogwarts.

"It means no magic," Ginny explained. "And we'll go out on the town, and do Muggle things, like dance in a nightclub for instance."

"Thank you, Ginny," Hermione said. "Yes, we will be going out amongst the Muggles this evening. All wands will be left here for authenticity purposes. We will start the evening at a dance club, then another if we have time. We will finish the evening here with what's called a lingerie shower and a sleepover. Any questions?"

"Yes, I have one," Imogene McLaggen, another of Ginny's old roommates, called out. "Why are we going to two dance clubs?"

Hermione blushed. "Well, um, the first club is for, um, special dancing."

"It's a strip club!" Ginny squealed, hopping up and down on the balls of her feet in excitement. "Naked men will be dancing for us! And we get to touch them and put Muggle money in their underwear!"

"Ooh!" The ladies were starting to match Ginny's excitement at that announcement.

"I hear that strip clubs are all the rage in the Muggle world," Luna Lovegood pronounced.

Ginny nodded. "Oh, yes. It's very traditional."

"But where are we going to get Muggle money for the naked Muggles?" Flora Carrow asked.

She and her twin sister Fauna (stupidest names ever, Hermione thought) appeared the most nervous about participating in their "Muggle" frivolities. Hermione had been baffled to see their names on the list. The twins had been in Slytherin house at school, which was known for turning out Dark wizards. While the Carrow twins didn't participate themselves, most of the of age witches and wizards from Slytherin house had fought on the Dark Lord Voldemort's side during the Second Wizarding War. Everyone deserves a second chance, Hermione scolded herself. The fact that the Carrow twins were here at all was a testament to that.

"Ladies, ladies!" Hermione clapped her hands to gain their attention. "Okay. Ginny and I will be providing the Muggle money for you to use tonight. We will pay for all of the drinks, as well as the dancers on the stage. You may be given an opportunity to pay for private dances-" more oohs "-but that will come out of your own pocket."

A few ladies "aww"ed in disappointment.

"I can spot you if you want!" Ginny announced. "Harry added me to the Potter vaults already, and told me to use whatever we need for tonight."

"I'm not sure that this is what he meant," Hermione said to Ginny privately. Ginny just shrugged. There would be no dampening of her excitement this evening.

"Okay, yes, well, we will be leaving in about fifteen minutes." Hermione spoke to the ensemble. "Use this time to finish eating. Please, there are plenty of snacks. Also, the loo is down the hall on your right if you need it. I'm just going to freshen up in my room for a moment."

Hermione made her way back to her bedroom without actually running before anyone could approach her with more questions. The night hadn't even truly begun, and she was already craving her normal solitude.

"This is going to be torture," she muttered.

She would never do this for anyone besides Ginny. The two women had been through too much together for Hermione to say no to her now. As thrilled as she was that Ginny and Harry were finally getting married- they'd waited five years since the war ended, which was four and a half more years than Hermione had ever expected- she had balked at the offer to be Ginny's maid of honor. She would do anything for her best friends though; Harry, Ron, and Ginny had all stood by her side as they took down Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters together. Certainly she could now suck it up to stand beside Ginny and Harry on their happiest of days.

Hermione sighed heavily, turning to her mirror to check her appearance one more time before leading this merry band of witches out to the Muggle world. Ginny had insisted on sexy Muggle attire, and was probably at that moment helping the Carrow twins transfigure the old fashioned robes that the Wizarding world preferred into Muggle miniskirts or something.

Hermione herself had chosen a very short, daring sleeveless black dress that clung to her body more than she would have liked. In an attempt at some modesty, she'd picked a dress with a mock turtleneck, and paired the dress with thigh high black stiletto boots, leaving only a couple of inches between where the dress ended and the boots began if she kept the dress pulled down. She'd left her insane mass of bushy hair down, and though she'd used a few drops of Sleakeasy hair potion to tame it, her hair had only reduced in volume about an inch.

Ginny had insisted on doing Hermione's makeup, and she could concede that the subtle smoky shades on her eyes made her look fierce and sexy. Ginny had crowed with delight over Hermione's finished look, and declared her to be the sexiest witch in the group. She had also declared loudly that she would be okay cancelling the sleepover, or even moving it to Harry's home in Grimmauld Place, because surely Hermione would be bringing home a man with this look. Hermione had just grimaced and shook her head. She would not be bringing anyone home with her this evening, and she really wished Ginny would stop trying to fix her up. She was perfectly happy with her life as it was.

"Hermione, hurry up!" Ginny yelled, banging on the bedroom door. "It's time to go get naked with Muggles!"

Hermione flung open the door. "I have already told you several times that you will not be getting naked. No one is getting naked tonight, except for the paid dancers, and only because that is their job."

"I know, I know," Ginny giggled. "It's just too much fun to rile you up! Oh, Hermione, I am so glad you're doing this for me! No one else would have understood what I wanted tonight."

"So, what? You only chose me as your maid of honor because I'm a Muggleborn?"

"Duh," Ginny joked. "That, and I knew you wouldn't say no."

Hermione threw an arm around Ginny's shoulders, steering the younger witch back to the living room. "You're lucky I love you, Gin."

When they returned to living room, Hermione passed around a jar for each witch to put their wand in, while Ginny made sure everyone looked like the Muggles in the magazines she had been studying for tonight. Satisfied that everyone was cooperating with her scheme, Ginny turned to Hermione and declared them ready to go.

"Alright, ladies, let's go see some naked men!"