this was just a little idea that came to me! i love writing teenage japril, there's a special spot in my heart for them. hope you guys like it and do notttt forget to review!

XxX

There's a week and a half left of the summer before senior year starts, and today has to be the hottest day yet. I'm almost finished with my run and even though I'm trying to keep my brain numb to push myself as hard as I can, it's easier said than done.

Today is August 18th, which would normally just be any other Friday. But today isn't a normal Friday - it's the day I've been waiting for since the beginning of June when she left. It's the day my best friend gets home from camp.

April went away to some sort of sleepaway bible camp right after our junior year got out, and she'd been super excited for it. I'd tried to match her happiness, if only not to make her feel guilty for leaving, but it'd all been pretty fake. We've spent every summer together since we were in elementary school - the fact that the one before our senior year I'd have to spend without her really sucked.

But now she's coming home, and we have a week and a half left until school starts. In summers past, I spent a lot of time inside playing video games and working on stuff for school. It's not that I was behind, or that I really enjoyed doing the extra work at all, but my mom wanted me to get ahead. She always has. But this summer's been different. I've been working out and running every day in preparation to play football in the fall. I've always been good at sports, but my mom thinks they're stupid. With one year of high school left, I finally convinced her to let me join.

Before now, I've never been the brawny type. People have always noticed my eyes and my smile, but now I feel confident without a shirt on and I'm fully aware of how good I look. I can feel the eyes on me when I leave the house for my runs, and I don't exactly mind it.

So right now, when I feel a pair of eyes on me as I pass April's house, it's nothing new. I smile to myself and keep my eyes on the ground, though I can feel someone staring at my back as I pass.

"Jackson?" I hear.

I stop running and jog in place, turning around and squinting into the sunlight. I can barely see, so I trot back towards April's driveway with my eyes narrowed.

There's someone standing behind an SUV with the back hatch popped open. She's wearing a bright pink tennis skirt and a black workout tank top, her shiny auburn hair lying in bouncy curls on her shoulders. She's wearing sunglasses, but has one hand on her forehead to block the brightness anyway.

"Jackson?"

I get closer. That sounds like April's voice, but this person looks nothing like her. The April I know wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt above her knees, and her hair used to reach halfway down her back. This girl's skin is sun-kissed and sporadically covered in freckles, and April's used to be so pale that her blue veins were visible through it at some points. She had been almost translucent.

But I know that smile. I'd recognize that smile anywhere.

"April?" I say, wiping off my forehead. Suddenly, I'm extremely conscious of my shirtlessness and the fact that I'm sweating bullets.

"Hey," she says. "I almost didn't recognize you!" She gets closer to me, skipping down the lower half of her driveway

It's definitely April.

"I could say the same about you," I say, planting my hands on my hips.

"What? Oh, my haircut?" she says, lifting the ends of it. "Yeah, they chopped it at camp. Does it look okay? I still feel so naked without it."

"It looks great," I say

"And what happened to you?" she says, reaching her arms out just slightly before pulling them back to cross them over her chest. "Only reason I knew it was you is because I saw that scar."

She's talking about the two-inch long scar on my side from fourth grade, when we were in the ravine by her house. We were play-fighting like we used to do all the time, and she shoved me hard enough so I fell and landed on a rock. It dug into my side and bled like crazy, and she had to run up the side of the riverbank to the nearest neighbor's house. April's mom's van still has that bloodstain on the seat - my mom had been at work.

"Well, yeah, I've been working out a lot," I say. "Football starts in a couple weeks."

"Oh, football," she says, raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah," I say. "I know, I know what you're gonna say. A bunch of blockheads-"

"No," she says, lifting her sunglasses to the top of her head so I can see her wide, pretty green eyes. "At least it'll give me someone to watch."

April's in the marching band, which means she's forced to go to every game. She plays the clarinet.

"That's true," I say. "And um, no glasses for you?"

She blinks a couple times, nodding. "Yeah, contacts," she says. "My glasses broke. Someone...uh, stepped on them when I was swimming in the lake." She shrugs. "So I just had my mom mail me my contacts. I got used to them."

"I like seeing your eyes," I say, then mentally punch myself. What kind of thing is that to say? What kind of weird, random ass thing is that to say?

"Oh," she says, tucking her hair behind her ears. There's an action I recognize - she's been doing that forever. "Yeah."

"Yeah," I say, crinkling my forehead and raising my arm to rub the back of my neck. "I - uh, so… when did you get back? Wasn't expecting you 'til later."

"Oh, you knew I was coming back today?" she asks. "You remembered?"

"Well, yeah," I say, shrugging.

"I told you forever ago," she says.

"I have a good memory," I say.

"Yeah, I know you do," she says, then looks back over her shoulder. "Um… I still have some unpacking to do. Like, a lot of it. Did you… did you wanna come in? I can ask my mom to make some lemonade or something. You look thirsty."

"I look thirsty?" I ask, laughing. "What?"

"All… sweaty, I don't know," she says, her eyes grazing over my chest and biceps.

"Yeah, I was running, I…" I shake my head. "I mean, obviously I was running."

"Obviously," she says, giggling.

"I'm actually gonna finish up," I say, pointing in the direction I had been going. "And I can shower at home and stuff, then come back? Would it be cool if I came back a little later?"

"Yeah," she says, tucking her hair again. "That'd be cool. I… I need to shower off that long drive, too. So, see you later? Maybe we can go get ice cream?"

"Yes," I say, nodding. "Definitely."

"Okay," she says, smiling at me and putting her sunglasses back on. "I… I'm gonna go now."

"Me, too," I say, starting to jog in place. "I'll be back." I run off and look over my shoulder once I get to the corner and see her leaning into the back of the SUV, grabbing a bunch of blankets. I force my head straight again, and somehow my thoughts are even more clouded than before.

When I get home, my mom is in the kitchen right when I walk inside. "Hi, baby," she says, looking over at me. "How was your run?"

"Good," I say breathlessly.

"You were gone for a long time," she says.

"Yeah, I made a stop," I say. "April's home now. Stopped to talk to her. Going to see her later."

"Oh," she says, sounding interested. "I forgot that was today. I bet you're happy about that."

"Yeah," I say. "It's good to see her. It'll be cool to catch up."

"Very cool indeed," Mom says, turning back around. "Go shower. See your friend. Have a fun night."

I head upstairs and turn the water on in my bathroom, and my mind is more clouded than before. April looked so different than how I'm used to seeing her. I've always seen her differently than other people have, that's not new. But it's not just her hair or her glasses… it's some sort of confidence. She has this new sense of confidence than I've never seen her wear before, and it looks great on her.

She's still herself, but different. She looks more grown up, more toned, instead of a scrawny, bony child. She looks more like a woman now, and if I let my mind go there…

Dangerous things might happen.

I haven't thought about April like that in a long time, and I'm sure she hasn't ever thought that way about me. We made an agreement a long time ago, way back in the summer before our seventh grade year. We had been at Northside Park inside a wooden tunnel that was meant for kids a lot younger than us, but we still fit pretty well.

I don't remember what we'd been talking about, probably something meaningless and unimportant. But I remember being so close to her face, and as a silence passed over us she'd looked at my lips. No girl had ever looked at my lips before, no less one who was that physically close to me. I remember feeling something really strange in my pants, then leaning forward and kissing her as best as I knew how. We'd stayed like that, unmoving with our pinched mouths pressed together and our eyes squeezed shut, for a really long time. When we pulled away, she was paler than I'd ever seen her and I felt like I was going to throw up. We left that tunnel without speaking and went home, and I thought we were never going to be friends again.

But when I saw her on her bike a couple days later, I caught up to her and we talked. It had freaked both of us out so we promised that we'd never do something like that again. We'd just be friends, not anything else.

We promised a platonic relationship, but we'd been each other's first kisses. And I'll never forget that.

I get in the shower and clean up, finding a fresh outfit when I come out. I spend a stupid amount of time trying to pick a shirt, and end up in a tank top that isn't much different from the one I had been running in.

April is on the porch when I stroll up to her house, sitting in one of the wicker rocking chairs with her hair tied up in a short ponytail. Her ponytails used to be long and frizzy - nothing like this one.

"That was fast," she says, turning her head. I still can't see her eyes because of the sunglasses.

"Yeah, well," I say. "Guess I didn't have to do much."

"I barely even started unpacking," she says, standing up. "And hey, come here. I didn't get to hug you yet."

I take a few steps closer to her and she throws her arms tight around my waist. Hugging her isn't something new, but for some reason it feels like it is. Her body feels different wrapped up so close to me; not so bony and tiny - more muscled and smooth. She smells good, like she always has. Something flowery and sweet that must be her shampoo. I've never thought to ask because it's always just been a smell that was there, barely registering. But now, for some reason, I'm noticing.

"I missed you," she says, pulling away from the hug before I felt finished.

"Missed you, too," say, bumping her shoulder with mine.

"It's hot out here," she says. "Ready to go in?"

"Sure," I say. "I can help you, if you want."

We go through the front door and she pushes it shut behind us. "You don't have to," she says, one hand resting on the banister.

"I mean, I'm not just gonna sit there," I say, kicking off my shoes. April's mom peeks her head around the corner, and I wave. "Hey, Mrs. K."

"Jackson!" she says, walking towards me with her arms outstretched. "It's so good to see you."

While April was gone, I came over to their house a few times to sit with Karen and have lemonade in the middle of my runs, but I saw a lot less of her than I do when April is here. The two of us spend almost every waking moment together, it's impossible not to be close with her family.

"Aren't you glad that our April's finally back?" Karen says, standing with one arm around her daughter after she hugs me.

"Definitely," I say. "I was just about to help her unpack, actually."

"I told him he doesn't have to," April says, looking up at her mom.

"Lord knows she has a lot to do," Karen says. "You're such a good friend. Probably the only one on this earth who'd volunteer to do that."

I scoff. "I don't know about that. But thanks."

"I'm making some lemonade if you guys get thirsty," she says, starting off back in the direction of the kitchen. "And remember, door open."

"Mom," April says, widening her eyes.

"Sorry, sorry!" Karen laughs. "I know you two aren't 'like that,' or whatever you kids say. But it's still a rule."

We head up the stairs as April shakes her head. "She's so embarrassing," she says, flicking on the light in her room. The windows are open so a gentle breeze comes in, blowing the billowy sheers in its wake.

"Maybe she should be worried," I say, pausing. She looks at me with confused, alarmed eyes. "I mean, I am the only person you've ever kissed."

Her face turns beet red and she undoes her ponytail so her hair fans out on her shoulders. She runs her fingers through it and I catch wind of her shampoo as I sit down at her desk, noticing how nervous she suddenly looks. "Y-yeah," she stammers.

"Remix," I say, in reference to her stuttering. "Y-y-y-yeah."

"Shut up," she says, smacking my shoulder. She turns her back on me and unzips the giant suitcase that's sitting on her bed. "You wanna turn on some music or something?"

"Not until you tell me why you're being weird," I say, getting up from the desk and sauntering over to her bed so I can sit next to where she's standing.

"I'm not being weird," she says, flipping the lid of her suitcase open. "Either way, I'm always weird. You call me weird all the time."

"Well, yeah. You're a weirdo. But I mean, more than usual." I poke her in the side and she squirms away from me. "What is it?"

She takes a few expertly folded t-shirts out of the bag and tosses them into her dirty clothes basket, sighing as she goes.

"Oh, there's the sigh," I say.

"Jackson," she says, shooting me a look that I know all too well.

"So just tell me!" I insist. "I haven't seen you for months on end and now you're keeping secrets." I act dejected. "It's almost like I don't know you anymore…"

"Stop," she whines. "Fine." She sits down next to me with her hands folded on her lap, and I resist the urge to glance down at her bare thighs. Why the hell is she wearing such a short skirt?! "At camp, I kissed a guy. Well, kinda… I guess, a guy kissed me."

My body fills with a feeling I can't quite put my finger on, but it's hot and unbearable. I feel something rising in my throat like I might either throw up or scream, and I don't like it. I try to conceal whatever's going on, though. I don't want her to regret telling me. "I-um, oh," I manage to say.

"Yeah, see?" she says, getting to her feet and pacing the room. "I knew you'd react like that. That's why I didn't wanna tell you."

"No, what?" I say. "I didn't react like anything."

She looks at me with hooded eyes and crosses her arms. "Promise you won't get mad."

"Stop being stupid. Why would I get mad over someone… kissing you? That's stupid." I make a disbelieving sound and throw my hands up. "You're allowed to do whatever you want. Of course guys like you, why wouldn't they?"

"Well, it wasn't… like that," she says. "I thought he liked me, and he didn't."

I narrow my eyes and tip my head to one side. "Wait...what do you mean?"

She lets her shoulders deflate and sighs as she looks up at the ceiling. "His friends found out that I had a crush on him. And they dared him to kiss me."

My skin feels hot with anger and my fists bunch up. "And?" I say.

"And…" she says, widening her eyes and staring at the ground. "He did. It was behind the lake house after curfew and I thought it was super romantic, but it was just… embarrassing. After he did it, I heard all his friends laughing, so they must have been watching from somewhere. It was just… confusing and humiliating, and… I don't really wanna talk about it. I didn't tell anyone. He made me take my glasses off and he kinda trapped me there with his hands on the wall, and when he pulled away I thought I was gonna die. They were all laughing. He was holding my glasses in one of his hands and when he pushed away, they broke."

"You said that-"

"I know what I said," she snaps. "No one stepped on them on the sand. I lied because I didn't wanna tell you."

She sits back down on the bed and our shoulders line up; both of our skin is warm and balmy. "Did he-"

"They all thought I was pretty after my glasses were gone," she says. "It shouldn't have made me feel so good, but it did." She shakes her head, staring down at the floor. "And when I changed my hair, they all looked at me. And I felt like they saw me. And that same guy would flirt with me, and I… I really liked it. No one's ever flirted with me. No boy's ever freaking… likedme like that."

I crinkle my forehead. I can't discern what the hell's going on inside me right now, but I wish whatever it is would calm down. "He didn't like you," I say. "He just wanted to fuck you."

She visibly recoils. "God, Jackson," she says. "Okay."

There's a weird silence between us. "Well, he did," I finally say.

"You don't have to be so mean about it," she says.

"I'm not trying to be mean about it," I say. "I'm just telling you the truth. That's what guys like that think about. Fucking girls who they think they can get with. And in his mind, it was you. He got you all vulnerable, and-"

"Geez, stop!" she says, turning to face me with one knee bent to rest on the mattress. "Nothing more happened between us, okay?" She slaps her thigh. "I don't know why you're getting so nasty."

"I don't want something bad to happen to you," I say. "It pisses me off that you'd just… let him do that."

"I didn't know what he was doing," she says. "Are you seriously trying to blame this on me? Seriously, Jackson?"

"No, no, I-... god, April, no," I say. "He's the ass. He shouldn't have ever fucking touched you, looked at you, even. I just don't want you to think that that's the only kind of guy you can ever get. Don't settle for that shit. Guys have always looked at you, they've always-"

"Stop lying," she says. "That's not true and we both know it. No one knew I existed before I took my glasses off and chopped my hair. You know that."

I sigh. "I think you're wrong."

"Well, I'm not," she says stubbornly.

"You are, because-"

"I think I would know!" she says, throwing her hands up. "The only reason I have any semblance of confidence now is because I changed almost literally everything about myself. Don't think I don't realize that."

I let out a short puff of air from my nose. "You're kinda forgetting someone," I say.

She scoffs. "Who."

"Me," I say. "I've always thought you were pretty. Still do."

She rolls her eyes. "You don't count. You pretty much have to say that, you're my best friend."

A silence follows that I'm not sure how to fill. The only sound in the room is her ceiling fan going around and around above us.

"He didn't… touch you, did he?" I ask, afraid to look at her.

"What? No," she says. "No."

"Good," I say, then stand. "Uh… we should get to unpacking, if we're gonna get any of this done before tonight."

She looks at me with screwed-up eyebrows. "What's tonight?"

"Meredith is having a party," I say. "Bonfire sort of deal, I think her pool's still open, too. I was hoping you'd wanna go."

She tucks her hair behind her ears. "I don't know…" she trails off. "Those people don't like me, Jackson."

"They like you fine," I say.

"Only because of you," she says. "Come on. I'm not dumb."

"I want you there," I say. "If you're not going, I'm not going. And I really wanna go swimming.

"You wanna show off your new muscles," she grumbles, chin resting on her fist.

I laugh. "Yeah. So what?"

"The party's gonna be this: a bunch of girls fawning over you and me in some rickety old lawn chair, eating stale chips and salsa that I hate, but I'll keep eating them because there's nothing else to do. Probably drinking some nasty beer that I also hate, but since it's in my hand I'll just-"

"Stop, stop, stop," I say. "The only girl I'm there for is you. We'll hang. Bring your swimsuit, we'll go in the pool together."

"You're kidding," she says. "You already know what they'll say about me in a swimsuit."

"They won't say it," I say.

"They're gonna make fun of me-"

"No, they won't," I assure her again. "We'll have fun. I promise. What else would we do tonight? We'd go get ice cream like we always do, sit here and stare at each other."

She giggles softly. "Well, I like staring at you."

"Well, so do I, but we can do that another time. Come on, just please come with me tonight," I practically beg.

She sighs, trapping her hands between her knees. "Jackson…"

"April…"

"Jackson."

"Little A…"

"Don't pull nicknames on me," she says. "They won't work."

"Apricot…" I say.

"I just said no nicknames," she says.

I look at her with wide eyes and my lower lip pouted out, batting my eyelashes. "Please?" I whine, linking my fingers together in a praying position.

She flops on her bed on her back with her arms stretched above her head, a tiny strip of her belly showing. I force my eyes away from the exposed skin and force them to stay on her face, though I badly want to let them graze over her body.

I've never had that urge before. What. The. Fuck.

"Fine," she gives in, hands covering her face. "But you better not leave my side. Not even for one second."

I smile, happy with having won this argument. "As if I ever would," I say.

I'm getting ready for the party at my house, standing in front of the bathroom mirror and brushing my teeth. My mom left just a little bit ago, traveling out of town for a benefit dinner, and won't be back for a few days. So as of now, I have the house to myself.

I take advantage of it and blast the radio as loud as I want, dancing like an idiot in my room while I find something to wear. Because of the loud music, I don't hear April come in, and when I see her standing in my doorway with a shit-eating grin on her face, I practically jump out of my skin.

I turn the music down and say, "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Almost forgot what a great dancer you are," she says, coming into my room and sitting on my bed. She's wearing denim shorts shorter than I've ever seen her wear before, and a peach colored t-shirt. Her hair is pulled up into a bun with little tendrils framing her face, and she's not wearing her glasses.

"Where're your glasses?" I ask.

"Where's your shirt?" she counters back, and I look down to realize that I'm still shirtless. I have on a pair of shorts, but that's it.

"I was getting there," I say.

She stands up from the bed and I can't miss the way her eyes trail over my arms and chest. Before this afternoon in her driveway, I don't think they've ever done that before. "Seriously, how did you get so ripped so fast?" she asks.

"You got some muscle, too," I say. "Don't play."

"Not anything like yours," she says.

I chuckle. "Wanna touch 'em?"

The corners of her lips turn down in a shy smile. "For real?" she asks.

I shrug. "Why not? I don't care."

"I kinda do," she says, stepping closer.

Why the fuck is my heart beating so fast?

"You can," I tell her.

In the next moment, her hands ghost over the bumps and slopes of my biceps - her thumbs moving to the undersides before trailing down to my forearms. Her eyes are centered on my chest as she touches me, and I feel like I'm being lit on fire. She moves her hands back up, squeezing just below my shoulders, and I can't help but flex to try and impress her a little more.

"You're strong," she says, moving her hands back to her sides. I hadn't wanted her to stop touching me, but I'm not going to make it weird.

"I didn't wanna get the shit beaten out of me for football," I say, turning around to grab a shirt. I throw it on over my head and flash her a smile. "And you didn't answer my question. Where are your glasses?"

She scoffs. "I'm not gonna wear them," she says. "Then I'll just be the same old nerdy Kepner."

"So what?" I say. "I like old nerdy Kepner."

"Yeah, you're the only one," she says. "Everyone else just finds me annoying. And don't say they don't, because you know it's true."

"How are you gonna be able to see?" I ask.

"I already told you, my contacts," she says. "I'm not walking around blind. It's just… different."

I huff. "I don't think I like different."

"Girls are going to be all over you," she says. "At least give me some chance in getting noticed. You can't keep me all to yourself forever."

She giggles and looks up at me as I loop one arm across her shoulders. "Who says?" I ask.

"Whatever," she says, leading the way down the stairs. "Let's go."

When we get to Meredith's house, a lot of people are already there. Mer lives in the same neighborhood as almost everyone who goes to our school, so April and I walked here. She'd been chatty the entire way, but now upon arriving, she's gone silent.

"You okay?" I ask, nudging her.

"What? Yeah," she says, glancing around. She's wringing her hands, which is a sure sign of nerves. "I'm fine."

We've barely walked in when we're stopped by Alex Karev and Callie Torres. "Wait, is that you, Avery?" Alex says, pushing me playfully. "Puberty hit you like a truck. A semi truck. Holy shit, dude."

I'm not sure what to say, so I just laugh.

"And Baby Kepner?" Callie says, peering around to look at April. "Goddamn, you too. Your skin looks amazing, girl. No glasses, no frizz? Did you two go on some makeover show or something?"

April forces a smile and shrugs her shoulders, visibly very uncomfortable. I know I need to get us away from this situation and avoid it happening again, so I say, "We're gonna go grab some drinks and sit by the pool. Catch you guys later."

"Did you bring your swimsuit, Kepner?" Alex asks. "I'd kill to see your new body in a bikini."

She stares down at the floor, and I wrap one arm around her instinctively. "Shut the fuck up, man," I say. "That's not cool."

Callie socks him in the shoulder. "Don't be a pig," she says. "Have fun, guys."

As we walk away, my stomach is turning. I'm not quite sure what the emotion I'm feeling is, but something about it reminds me of jealousy.

I'm not sure what to make of that.

We find a few camping chairs to sit in close to the pool, and April seems a little less on edge once it's just the two of us. "Do you want something to drink?" she asks, after I sit down.

"Sure," I say. "I'll take a beer, anything but Bud Light."

She rolls her eyes and smiles. "Okay, be right back."

I make myself comfortable and scan the crowd for familiar faces, which are basically almost everyone here. Each person looks a bit different, like our senior summer did them good. I'm proud to know for sure that I'm one of those people.

"Hey, Jackson."

I look to my left and see this girl Maggie, wearing a hot pink swimsuit. We're related in some random way that I can never keep track of, but she's always had some sort of weird thing for me anyway. It freaks me out.

"Hey, Maggie," I say. "What's going on?"

She shrugs and giggles a little bit, though I didn't say anything funny. "I'm glad you came," she says. "We didn't think you would."

"We?" I ask.

"Me, Mer, Amelia," she says. "Didn't think you'd show up. I've been seeing you around all summer… so I was really hoping you'd come."

Seeing me around? This is the first time I've seen her since school let out, so the fact that she's apparently been keeping tabs on me is a little creepy. I'm not going to be rude, though.

"Yeah, well, I'm here," I say.

"Did you come alone?" she asks, edging towards April's chair.

"I, uh - actually…" Just as I say those words, I notice April standing off to the side with a drink in each hand, awkwardly waiting for my conversation to end so she can rejoin me. "Came with someone. I kinda dragged April here with me, would've never come had she not agreed." I wave her over. "Thanks for the drink, A."

"Oh," Maggie says, stepping away from the chair as April sits down in it. "Of course. You guys are always together."

"What are best friends for?" I say.

Maggie's eyes dart to April, glinting in the low light. "No glasses," she says.

"Yeah," April says quietly.

"Who're you trying to impress?" A different voice says that, and I see Izzie Stevens walk up dressed in a skimpy black bikini with her eyebrows raised.

"Uh… no one," April says, pulling her knees up to her chest. "I just got sick of them."

"You still trying to get in Avery's pants?" Izzie says snidely. "Or more like, trying to get him to wanna get into yours?"

My face heats up and my skin bristles. "Izzie, shut the fuck up."

She glances between the two of us and laughs sardonically. "Maybe you two have already fucked," she says. "Wouldn't surprise me."

"Izzie, go away," Cristina Yang says, walking up on the deck. "Stop trying to start shit at Mer's party."

Izzie rolls her eyes, then someone announces that we're going to play 'Seven Minutes In Heaven,' which gets a collective groan from everyone.

"What is this, 7th grade?" Callie calls out.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Arizona Robbins says, giving her a coded look that I can't understand.

"I already put everyone's name in here," Mer says, holding up a bucket. Everyone at the party makes their way over to the deck and sits around, watching what'll happen next. "The rules are that the two people's whose names I draw have to go behind the pool house for seven minutes in the dark, and do whatever they want with each other."

April turns to look at me, whispering, "This is stupid."

"I know," I say. "But they'll get tired of it soon. Don't worry."

"Jackson, I-"

"April and Alex!" Mer calls out, waving the two small pieces of paper in the air.

My heart lodges itself in my throat. I look over to April, who's frozen. Even in the dim light, I can see that her face has turned a violent shade of red.

She turns to me. "I can't," she says. "I don't wanna do this."

I stand up from my chair as Alex is sauntering over with a gross smile on his face. "She passes," I say.

"No way," Alex says. "That's not a thing. Come on, Kepner, let's go get our seven minutes."

"She passes," I repeat, blocking his path. "She doesn't wanna do it, so leave her alone."

"Oh, fuck off, Avery," Alex says. "You don't own her. Just because you two have been butt buddies since the womb doesn't mean-"

"Get away from her," I say, a bit too loudly. Everyone's attention is suddenly on us. "She said she doesn't want to."

"Jesus Christ," Alex murmurs.

"Fine, everyone's allowed one pass," Mer says, replacing the names in the bucket. "But only one. Next time, you have to go. Sorry, April."

April stares down at her knees, and I head back to our chairs. I want to make her laugh, cheer her up, so I deposit myself onto her lap while Mer goes through another set of names.

She lets out a funny sound when I put my weight on her, and sticks her tongue out. "God, you got heavy," she says. I rest my arm behind her neck and she winds hers around my waist, keeping me where I am.

As the game goes on, I stay on April's lap comfortably until her hands start to move. Instead of linked together around my stomach, she moves them to rest on my upper thighs. I think it's an innocent enough move, but they're dangerously close to something that could turn this situation not-so-innocent.

And I'm going to get hard if I'm not careful.

Almost as if she read my mind, she slaps my back and says, "Okay, you're starting to crush me!"

I sigh, pretending to be dejected. "Fat joke…"

I sit back in my own chair just as I hear my name. "Jackson and…" Mer says, digging around. When she pulls the next slip of paper out, she smiles devilishly. "And April."

A silence sweeps over all of us as they all turn to stare. "I…" April stammers, and looks out at the crowd.

"You can't pass again, Kepner," Izzie says, laughing. "Have fun…"

I stand up without giving everyone the satisfaction of looking back, and reach out my hand for her. She takes it, which earns a low whistle from someone in the crowd.

"So she'll go with Avery, but not with me," Alex says. "Fucking typical."

"We'll tell you when your seven minutes is up!" Mer calls out.

"They're gonna need way more than seven minutes," I hear someone say off-handedly. "Baby Kepner is as big of a virgin as they come."

We walk further away to disappear behind the pool shed, where the voices aren't audible anymore. We're finally alone, for the first time all night.

"Obviously we don't have to do anything," I say, leaning against the wood and looking up at the stars. "We can just leave, if you want. I didn't know it was gonna be everyone's mission to be assholes tonight."

She's quiet. I look from the sky into her face, and see that she's studying me.

"What?" I ask.

"Would it be totally weird if… if I wanted to do something?" she asks.

For the first time I notice how close we are. With my back against the wall, our torsos are only inches apart.

"Wait, seriously?" I say. "I… I didn't know… I didn't think you'd…"

"I… I'm standing here looking at you," she says. "And all I wanna do is kiss you."

I blink my eyes hard, wondering how this could be happening. I never thought that April would say something like this to me, not ever. I never thought it was possible for her to look at me like this, not since 7th grade when I kissed her and thought it ruined everything.

"If you don't wanna kiss me, that's fine," she says. "But I-"

I cut her off. I hold her face in my hands and press my lips to hers, feeling her tension melt away after a few seconds as her hands find a place to rest. She eventually settles them with her fingers through my belt loops, and when we pull away she doesn't make any move to drift apart.

She bats her eyelashes slowly, licking her lips. "That was so much better than 7th grade," she says.

I dip my head to kiss her again, stealing the words right from her mouth. She makes a small noise as she parts her lips over mine, removing her fingers from my belt loops to wind her arms tight around my waist instead. I can feel my dick twitch - it's inevitable now. She's going to make me get hard.

It wasn't her physical change that ignited this attraction. That'd be stupid. Spending a long time without her this summer made me realize that I hate being apart from her. I don't want to be spending endless amount of time around anyone else. We've been best friends for our whole lives, I don't need to wait to say it. I love her.

And I have for a long time.

"I've been thinking about kissing you for…forever," she says, our lips barely touching.

"Forever?" I ask. "But you hated it when we were 12."

She chuckles, hugging my waist as close as she can. "I'm not a 7th grader anymore," she says. "I'm not a kid. I'm not the same person that I was at the beginning of this summer, even. Kissing that… that horrible boy at camp, after that happened… all I could think about was you. And how you would never, ever make me feel like he did. And I wanted you." She reaches up and skims her hands over my shoulders. "I want you."

I kiss her again, and I can feel her smile against my mouth as I anchor my hands on her hips and hold her tight. The only sound back here is the sound of us breathing through our noses and the soft smack of our lips against each other, and I wish we could stay trapped in this little bubble all night.

"Can we go?" she asks, pulling away. Her lips are red and a little puffy, and I can't help but touch them gently with my thumb.

"Go?" I ask.

"Yes, Jackson," she says.

Maybe there is a way it can last all night.

"I know a place," I say, thinking of my big, empty house.

"Okay," she says, and we sneak off, leaving the party guests to assume what they will.

When we get to my house, I'm afraid the mood will have changed. April leads the way to the front door and then inside the house, flipping on the lights as she goes.

"Do you want something to drink, or…?" I ask.

"No," she says. "I kinda wanna go up to your room?"

I widen my eyes. "April, are you… are you sure?"

She leads the way up the stairs and I'd be stupid not to follow her. Once we're inside, she closes my door even though we're alone in the house, then sits down on my bed.

I sit down next to her and am nervous to touch her, though I'm not sure why. She kicks her shoes off and I do the same, then she moves her body to straddle my hips. I scoot back to rest against the wall and loop my arms around her, resting my hands on the small of her back.

"I think everyone knows this has been begging to happen," she says, the tip of her nose touching mine. "I've thought about it… a lot."

"So have I," I say.

She rests her forehead against mine so we're really freaking close. "You have?" she asks. "Thought about me? Us?"

"Yeah," I say, my voice low.

"Have you thought about this?" she asks, moving her hand lower to rest between my legs. My hips twitch and buck up against her, and she smiles.

"Yeah," I admit.

"Me, too," she whispers. "I just never thought you wanted me."

"I want you," I say. "I have since we were 12."

She smiles again; I feel her breath on my cheek. "You can touch me," she says. "Jackson, I trust you."

"Yeah?" I say, pulling her closer. I attach my lips to her neck and suck on the warm, soft skin, and she lets her body weight rest against the front of me. I run my hands down her bare arms and feel goosebumps rise in my wake, then go with my gut and move my hands lower to rest over her ass.

"Can I take your shirt off?" she asks, pulling at it over my shoulders. "I wanna see you again."

"Go ahead," I say.

She pulls it off over my head and sits back to look at me, her eyes roaming freely. I don't feel self-conscious, I feel proud. It makes me feel good to know that she's attracted to me. Because Jesus Christ, am I attracted to her.

"You like what you see?" I ask jokingly.

She smiles as her fingers drift down my chest, over my pecs and lower. She bites her bottom lip, then bends at the waist to kiss my neck, opening her mouth over my pulse point and running her tongue over it.

We used to play doctor when we were little, sometimes performing 'surgery' on each other. She's seen me shirtless plenty of times because of that dumb game; drew on me with marker, touched my bare skin with her hands. But it wasn't anything like this.

Even when we used to go swimming together, I never gave her a second glance. Things were different then, it was before puberty. Before sex ever crossed my mind. Now… it's the only thing on my mind.

And I don't think I'm alone in that.

I lie flat on the bed and keep my hands on her waist as she kisses my chest. All of her weight is on my groin, and she can probably feel my dick pressing up against her. Suddenly, I get nervous that I won't know what I'm doing and I'll make a complete fool of myself. The way our relationship works is that she depends on me to show her the ropes with mostly everything. But when it comes to sex, I'm just as inexperienced as she is. Except for the fact that I've probably watched way more porn.

I don't know if she wants to go all the way tonight, but I do. I'd never pressure her, though. Ever.

I mess with the bottom of her billowy tank top. "Can I?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says, sitting up.

I pull it off over her head to see that she's wearing a light blue bra with a tiny bow in the middle. The same freckles as always are dotting her chest, but now I need to touch them. With my lips.

I flip us over so she's under me, and she blinks heavily. "Wait," she says, turning on her side. I pull back, spooked a little bit that maybe she doesn't want to do this anymore, but she's only digging through her purse. She comes back up and slides her glasses on. "I wanna see you," she says.

"I thought… your contacts," I say.

She shakes her head. "I lied. I'm too scared to put them in and touch my eye."

I grin and kiss her, threading my fingers through her auburn hair that's come down from its bun. "This is the way I like you best anyway," I say.

From her mouth, I trail kisses over her jaw, her neck, and her shoulder. I get to her bra strap and take it in my teeth, which earns me a little gasp from her as I drag it down her arm and go back to open my mouth on the round of her shoulder. Her skin is warm and smooth; it smells like aloe and coconut, probably some sort of lotion she uses.

As I kiss her skin, she gently rakes her nails down my sides and squirms underneath me. I have one of my legs between both of hers, and when I get to the cup of her bra, she clenches that leg between her thighs.

"You can touch me," she says, and I cover one of her breasts with my hand. It's small but substantial, and it fits perfectly. I squeeze it and she draws her lower lip into her mouth, hips moving involuntarily to find some friction against my leg. "Take it off," she breathes.

I don't waste any time. I unsnap her bra with a fluid motion of my hand and cast it off to the side, and we make steady eye contact before I let my eyes rove down to her chest. When they finally do, I trail kisses from her collarbones to the swell of her breast, then lick a path to her nipple before taking it into my mouth to suck on it.

She moans, which makes me get even harder, and arches her back to get her chest closer to me. She holds the back of my neck to keep my head where it is as I swirl my tongue around the hardened bud, and her hips are still moving against my leg. I've never seen her like this - so in tune with her body. It's really, really turning me on.

I kiss a path from her ribcage down lower until I get to the waistband of her shorts. Without words, she unbuttons them and starts shoving them down her legs, so I look up into her face to make sure this is what she wants.

"Are we gonna do this?" I ask.

"Do you want to?" she breathes, still kicking her way out of her shorts.

"Yes," I say. "But if you're not ready, I'm not gonna-"

She pulls my head forcefully down to kiss me with all she's got. "I'm ready," she says. "Keep going."

I take a minute to look at my best friend, lying underneath me in just her underwear. I used to have really embarrassing dreams where I'd have her just like this, though I tried to repress those into the back of my mind. If I let myself remember them when they happened, spending time around her got really weird. But here, right now, this is real. She's nearly naked and we're going to lose our virginities to each other.

I'm not really sure what I'm doing. I've made out with a handful of girls, but I've never gone this far. I don't want to do something wrong - this is April we're talking about. She deserves only the best.

Embarrassingly, I try to remember the porn I've watched and the shitty advice that my friend Charles has given me in the past. I know I want to eat her out, but I don't want to make a fool of myself. I want to make her feel good.

I hold her leg and press my lips to the swell of her calf, moving up towards her knee slowly. Once I get past her knee, she watches me kiss my way upwards, then move to suck the sensitive, smooth skin of her inner thighs between my teeth.

She props herself up on her elbows as I kiss her stomach, right above the little bow on her panties. She's breathing heavily, giving her nervousness away, but I take her hand to try and comfort her.

"I wanna make you feel good," I say, lips moving right under that little bow.

"Okay," she whispers, and lifts her hips so I can slide her underwear off.

Once she's completely naked, I take a second to look at her. "You're beautiful," I say, hoping that I'll be able to do this right.

She lays flat on her back and takes in a deep breath, then I press slow, soft kisses between her legs. She gasps and holds her head between her hands, bending one knee so her foot is pressed down onto the bed, situating her hips.

I run my tongue along her sensitive skin, which makes her squirm. I take it slow, touching her gently in all the right places. I never thought I would see this side of April, not in my entire life. I had fully accepted the fact that I wouldn't. So now, I'm on sensory overload and I'm not quite sure how to handle myself.

Her opposite leg bows out and I hold onto her inner thigh, squeezing her skin as I delve my tongue inside her. My name tumbles out of her mouth and I smile against her, knowing that I must be doing something right. I do it again and hear her breath come in ragged gusts - her thighs are trembling now, too. I must have found what I was looking for, so I keep going. I suck those sensitive nerves into my mouth and she whimpers my name again, grinding her hips against my face, but I hold them down. I can't wait to give her her very first orgasm, and it's just about to happen.

When she comes, I don't part my lips from her. I keep going. I can't even understand what she's saying, her voice is high-pitched and desperate, but she looks gorgeous. She lies there, spent, after she's come down, her eyes concentrated on me.

"Wow," she says, breathing hard. She closes her eyes for a brief moment and I see a ghost of a smile on her lips. "Do you have a condom by any chance?"

Shit. I don't. Why would I?

She reads the look on my face when she opens her eyes. "I'm on the pill," she says. "For regulating my period and stuff. It's okay." I give her a concerned look. "Jackson, it's okay," she says again.

I take my pants off and straddle her, kissing her with everything I have. When I pull away, she holds my face in her hands and smiles at me, still delirious from that orgasm. "I love you," she says, then runs her top teeth over her bottom lip.

I tuck my face into her neck, dropping kisses there. "I love you," I whisper in return.

I take off my boxers and toss them aside, not missing her eyes between my legs.

"I'll go slow," I say.

She blinks a few times, lifting her eyes back up to mine. "Are you… are you still a…?"

"Yeah," I say. "Are you?"

"Yeah," she replies, delicate fingers on my biceps. "But I'm ready."

"Okay, I'm going in now," I tell her, then we both start to laugh. I plunk my forehead down on her collarbone and she wraps her arms around my shoulders as our bodies tremble with giggles. "Sorry," I say. "I didn't mean to make it sound like that."

"Captain, I'm going in," she mimics, and we dissolve into laughter all over again.

"Shut up," I say, and kiss her. As our lips are melded together, I slowly push my way inside her and feel her inner muscles widen to accommodate me. Her lips part in a gasp when I'm buried to the hilt, and I don't bother with moving yet. She needs to get used to the feeling, and so do I. I don't want to come too early, that'd be embarrassing.

But she feels so amazing. Right now, I'm closer to her than I've ever been to anyone. I'm literally inside of her body, and that fact alone almost makes me come undone.

"You okay?" I ask, and she nods.

"Just don't… move… yet," she says, widening her legs. "I need to get used to you."

"Just tell me when," I say, kissing her neck. I feel like I could stay right here forever, wrapped up in her. Before this, I knew there was a spark between the two of us. She's the best friend I've ever had, and there's not a moment in my life that she hasn't been there for. But now, I'm seeing her differently. There's more than a spark, there's a wild connection that's just rising to the surface. I wonder if she can feel it, too.

I look into her eyes and see her staring at me with glistening intensity, and come to the realization that she can definitely feel it.

"Okay," she says. "Go slow."

I pull out of her and thrust back in again, feeling my eyelashes flutter. This is unreal. I never knew that being with another person could feel so good. I never want this to end.

But it unfortunately doesn't go for as long as I'd like it to; I can't last. It's my first time, I know I'm not expected to be an expert, but I wanted at least for her to come first. It doesn't work that way, though, and a few minutes into it, I come inside my best friend.

She holds on tight to me as it happens, my hips jerking against hers. She kisses the top of one shoulder and the side of my face, letting me ride out my orgasm before she expects anything herself. I don't leave her unfinished, though, I stay inside her and help her along with my fingers until her muscles tighten around me and she comes while I'm still inside her.

In the quiet aftermath, the only sound in the room is both of us breathing. I roll off of her and she turns over to drape one arm over my side, flashing me a loopy grin.

"That was great," I say. "You… you were great."

She traces one finger down my cheek. "I told you I loved you," she says.

"I know," I say, pulling her closer. "I said it back."

"Did you mean it?" she asks, eyes searching my face.

"Of course I did," I say. "Did you?"

"Of course," she says, smiling. There's a moment of silence before she says, "What does this mean for us? Are we still gonna be best friends?"

"Boyfriends and girlfriends can be best friends, too," I say, the words tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them.

She widens her eyes slightly. "Is this you asking me to be your girlfriend?" she asks.

My mouth goes dry. I know I shouldn't have said it. It was way too soon. So stupid. So, so, so stupid, and now I've probably scared her off.

"Because if it is… then my answer is yes."

An uncontrollable smile breaks its way onto my face as I attack her face and neck with kisses, wrapping my arms around her as she screams with giggles. "Jackson!" she squeals, and holds me at arm's length. "We never got ice cream. Can we still go?"

I kiss her, long and slow. I can't believe that I'm going to be able to do that as much as I want now. "Somewhere's still open," I say. "It's not that late. I know a place."

She rests her hands on my shoulders. "And when we come back, can we do this again?"

I laugh and kiss her again, seemingly unable to stop. I say, "Again," I say. "And again and again and again."