title; as certain dark things
rating; t
summary; ...to be loved, in secret. (law/nami)
disclaimer; applied
notes; For Law x Nami day (June 7th), also I'm listening to "K." by Cigarettes After Sex while writing this :) Enjoy reading!

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i.

The first time he saw her, Law was still a child.

...Or a 'brat', as his father figure called him.

He could remember it was somewhere in the East Blue, despite spending most of the time in his cabin, never wanting to see the other Donquixote Pirate crew members at all.

Law didn't like them. He never liked them.

It wasn't because they were flashy and obnoxious... though they were. The ship was in a shape of a giant flamingo, for crying out loud—with bright pink colour and all—he would rather not be seen as a part of the crew with such a flashy ship like that. He wouldn't express it out loud, however. Nothing good would come from insulting the captain's flashy taste in fashion, or design, whatever.

Regardless of what he thought of this crew sense of art, he had to be here. There was nowhere else to go. No one else to come home to. No other place he could find purpose to live, to destroy.

Law always did his best to stay away from the other crew members as much as possible, so when he wasn't in his cabin, studying and reading medical texts, he'd leave the ship and wander about.

That day, though, he had decided to wander around in a village nearby. He couldn't remember the name, it was a long time ago.

One thing he remembered clearly, was a girl with fiery orange hair.

She ran into him, and she didn't say sorry.

He wasn't angry, and he didn't know why.

She was younger than him, maybe 5 or 6 years younger. And she wasn't just a girl.

Hell, he wasn't going to romanticise this girl. No, she wasn't special because she was cute or anything—which she actually was, but that wasn't the case at the moment.

What caught his attention was that she was stealing. A child thief? Not a rare thing to find, indeed. But no, she was...talented? As a thief. A little girl like her should've been caught if she wasn't good at what she was doing... or maybe the villagers were too stupid to deal with her. Stealing wasn't a good thing to learn at her age, but who was he to judge. If he was to sail with a crew of his own he would consider having a good robber, for financial benefits.

Law was starting to pity the villagers for what he thought she was going to grow up into.

But when his eyes met hers, he couldn't help but to think that those eyes were the most beautiful he'd ever seen.

He didn't forget those eyes. He never did.

She tore her gaze away from his, her chubby cheeks puffing, and he saw it. The cut on her cheek.

With a sigh, he rubbed her dirty cheek with his long sleeve and said: "You're hurt, little thief."

He didn't know why he cared.

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ii.

The second time he saw her, he was 24, and she was 18, apparently.

Law still remembered her face. She didn't remember his.

He didn't expect her to remember.

That girl had matured a lot, he observed.

And she was a pirate with 16 million bounty. Not a high bounty, at least compared to his, but what she had grown up into surprised him. He'd thought that she would probably be a thief, just a normal thief and maybe a temptress at its best, but what she had become was beyond his expectation.

She was the Cat Thief Nami, the navigator of a strong rookie pirate crew, the Straw Hat Pirates.

Coincidentally, he had taken interest in Monkey D. Luffy, the Straw Hats captain. He would like to observe and be part of this turn of events.

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iii.

The third time he saw her, he really didn't expect to see her in Punk Hazard.

On top of that, he didn't expect her to run around in such a skimpy outfit—bikini top, seriously? It was freezing cold, literally. What was she, Bepo?—with a few of her crewmates and a horde of... giant children. He sent her a glare when she immediately noticed him and accused him of... what? Kidnapping and hiding away those children? Why the heck would he do that?

When she suddenly became aware of the cold and shivered, he wanted to snort. Serves you right, little thief.

Law was now 26, and she, 20. She had grown into a truly matured and alluring woman, he couldn't help but to admit.

Her hair had grown long, and she was beautiful.

It was safe to say he was attracted to her beauty, only natural for a young man like him. He was supposed to. But that was that, he wouldn't act on it while he had more important missions in mind.

When he decided to form an alliance with her captain, it really had nothing to do with her.

But maybe, if fate would bring them somewhere, he would gladly let it take them.

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iv.

Just so you know, Luffy never did stop asking Law to join his crew.

Law always said no, he wasn't interested and he already had his own crew anyway.

Luffy took that as a yes, somehow.

That obnoxious idiot.

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v.

The first time they were alone, Law didn't know what to talk about.

So he stayed quiet and silently watched the wind blowing her fiery long hair, until she broke the silence.

"You know, sometimes, I dream about meeting you in my childhood," Nami said.

It was a weird dream, she told him.

"But maybe," she continued, "we did meet once when we were still small? Who knows."

He couldn't look away from her eyes then. Those beautiful, bewitching eyes.

And he knew then, he was the only one who remembered.

Still, he told himself, he was perfectly fine with that.

He was.

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vi.

The first time he held her hand, or she held his—he didn't even know, he was too busy figuring out what to do...

Because Nami was crying.

He didn't understand.

He tried to, but he couldn't.

Law was pretty sure she only saw him as an ally, nothing less and nothing more. He wouldn't worth her tears, even when he was badly injured after defeating Doflamingo.

He lost an arm, yes, but it was reattached and even though it still hurt, he was going to be alright.

Besides, he knew that she had seen her crewmates, or at least mostly Luffy and Zoro, survive through worse injuries. They most likely had cheated death several points in their life.

There was no reason for her to worry, wasn't there?

But that day, in the infirmary, she cried for him, and he didn't know what to do.

Law always hated not knowing what to do.

So he stood there, as awkward as a high school boy, as she leant her head against his back with her hands holding his good hand.

He didn't understand this girl.

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vii.

(Luffy still treated him like he was his newest crew member.

It was annoying.)

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viii.

The first time she gave him tangerines from her grove in the deck, he was confused, but he accepted it nonetheless.

It was so sudden, he didn't expect her to freely give him something she loved so much.

And she gave it to him and only him.

When she sat beside him, pouting and facing away, he did notice her cheeks flushed.

He was glad the others were too caught up in their activities to notice anything between them.

Regardless, Law didn't understand why she was flustered. Nami seemed to be the type who was full of confidence, but he could be wrong about that.

Maybe it meant something, maybe it didn't.

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ix.

The first time Nami kissed him, no, it wasn't on the lips.

She kissed him on his cheek. It was nothing more than a peck that didn't even last a second.

What confused Law was that she was being really shy and fidgety about it. One would think a femme fatale like her wouldn't be so coy when it came to things like kissing, touching and some.

Then again, she was a mystery to him.

Law wasn't sure why she had decided to sneak a kiss on his cheek, but he was pretty sure she wasn't the type to just occasionally kiss her friends like her captain, Zoro, Sanji, or anyone.

So he asked her, straightforwardly, what are you doing, Nami-ya?

She yelped, frowned with blushing cheeks, then mumbled an incoherent 'nothing' and quickly ran like a skittish cat.

Maybe because it was dark, she did not notice a hint of red colouring his cheeks and ears.

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x.

The first time he held her hand—this time Law was sure he initiated it—was a day after she kissed him on his cheek. It was a sunny day, or he should say, a really, really, scorching hot day.

Everyone was in their swimwear, no one could stand the heat.

And Nami, in whatever little she was wearing, didn't help with his attraction towards her.

"What's wrong, Nami-ya?" he asked, pretending not to know exactly why she was being so skittish around him. "You're being... jumpy."

"Nothing!" She said as she quickly pulled her hand away from his light grasp. "It was just too hot for me to stand," she reasoned.

Law knew she would know better than to constantly move around in such a burning weather, but he wouldn't push it.

Little did she know, he didn't miss the way her eyes swept over his tattooed and toned pectorals and abdominals.

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xi.

The first time he overheard some of his allies gossiping, they were talking about him and Nami.

Law was just passing by when he heard some chitchatting and his name mentioned. He automatically turned his head only to see Usopp, Chopper, Brook, and Nico Robin, staring at him. Usopp and Chopper looked terrified as they hugged each other the moment Law turned to face them. He couldn't quite comprehend Brook's expression as the skeleton man only laughed his distinguishing yo-ho-ho laugh, and the archaeologist smiled politely at him instead.

"Ah. We were just talking about you and our lovely navigator," Robin said, in a calm manner. He cocked a brow.

"Oi, Robin! Why would you tell him!?" Both Usopp and Chopper shrieked together.

"Oh no! Don't let him kill us! Oh, but I'm already dead... Yo-ho-ho-ho!" Brook added, still making skeleton jokes even when scared. He wasn't even part of their crew, but he was tired of the dead jokes.

Robin chuckled. "We just thought that maybe our Nami had a little crush on you," she said.

Usopp and Chopper shrieked even louder, "ROBIN!"(YO-HO-HO!" Brook, too, not without adding his stupid laughter.)

Law only scrunched his brows in confusion, and shrugged as he walked away, ignoring Usopp and Chopper's chanting of we're saved, we're saved!

Only the calm-headed Nico Robin noticed his ears becoming slightly redder.

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xii.

They still called him Tora-o, by the way.

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xiii.

The second time he got to have some time alone with Nami, it only lasted a few minutes before her obnoxious captain interrupted. He stretched his arms and wrapped them around him and Nami, he was even more irritating when he was curious about something... like right now.

"Oi! Tora-o! Nami! Are you guys really getting married!? And having a baby!?" Luffy asked them both, his eyes shining too brightly for his liking, it was obvious he was thinking about throwing a big party with lots and lots of food.

Nami smacked his head, hard. "Where did that idea come from!?" She asked, trying to conceal her embarrassment with anger.

Law glared at his fellow captain. What's with everyone thinking there's something going on between me and Nami-ya? he mused.

"Usopp told me!" Luffy confessed with a pout as he rubbed his head. Of course, the liar told him. "And Franky also said you were going to have super lots of babies and they were going to look just like Franky!"

This idiot captain and his crew... Law could feel a vein popping out on his forehead. And why the heckwould the children look like Robo-ya if their parents were me and Nami-ya!?

He was going to deny, but he decided to go against it as he saw Nami's beet red face.

"We might be, who knows."

And it was probably worth her hitting him on his head.

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xiv.

The third time they had the chance to be alone, it was late in the night. The others were fast asleep.

Law never slept much, but that night, the sky was clear. So instead of forcing himself to sleep, he had decided to stay outside and enjoy the tranquility.

Somehow, he wasn't surprised when he felt Nami timidly wrap her arms around his waist.

He wasn't surprised, but he wasn't sure how to act either.

"Tell me..." she said, her voice barely above a whisper, "if you don't want this..."

Hearing that, his hand went to one of hers. He heard her relieved sigh.

"How is your arm?" she asked.

"Healing. It's much better now."

She hummed, resting her cheek against his back. He could feel her warmth even from beneath his thick sweater.

They fell silent.

She was thinking about something. He was thinking about her.

"Tora-o," she called, after a few minutes of silence, just being comfortable.

Law could almost guess what was coming next.

"What do you think about me?"

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xv.

The first time he kissed her, was on the same night she asked him that question.

Law had turned immediately, and leaned down to softly press his lips against hers as an answer. He was hesitant at first, but was glad when Nami stood on her tiptoes to get even closer to him.

He was overwhelmed.

By her taste, her scent, her hands on his hair, by her...

He didn't even realise he had idly put his hands on her back and traced her spine with his fingers. He felt her shiver under his touch, and her lips retreated only to be caught by his again,

again, and again.

His hands were on her side and her hair then. And hers resting on his shoulders.

Nami felt like something he had been longing for, something he lost since the day Corazon died, since the day he lost his family and his everything.

She felt like lo—

No.

He wasn't going to lose her because of that.

And so, he stopped kissing her.

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xvi.

The first time Black Leg Sanji attacked him (with tears soaking his visible eye and his scrunched up face—Law couldn't help but think he looked kind of gross), he was about to dissect him no matter how delicious his cooking was.

Law couldn't really understand what the chef was babbling about as he tried to kick him, but as much as he could comprehend, Sanji was saying something along the lines of how dare you steal Nami-san's maidenhood! or something like that.

Maidenhood? He scowled as he fend himself from the chef's kicks.

With one movement of his hand, Sanji was gone, replaced by a barrel.

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xvii.

The second time Law got assaulted that day, it was by the Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro.

Zoro didn't try to cut him or anything, but his eye was piercing him.

Like he was damning Law an STD. Maybe he actually was.

From how much he'd collected about his allies since the day he started the alliance, Zoro was the protector of the crew. He was naturally protective and would fight whenever he was needed. Badly injured or not.

It would go without saying that he would be as protective as Black Leg Sanji was when it came to Nami.

That, or perhaps, Zoro was just as jealous as the cook was.

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xviii.

The third time he got assaulted that day, it was another one of the Monster Trio—the crew captain himself, Straw Hat Luffy.

But he was assaulting Law differently than the other two.

"Oi! Oi! Tora-o! You're marrying Nami, right!? Then let's have a party!" He insisted, much to the other captain's annoyance. "We're going to need lots and LOTS of meat! We're going to need your abilities to—"

"For the twentieth time, Straw Hat-ya, no."

"But you two need a wedding! And a wedding needs meat!" Luffy pouted. "You can't let your Franky-like babies hungry! They need meat!"

"Like I said, Nami-ya's not having a baby. Even if she was and the father was me, the offspring would not have any of Robo-ya's genetics. At all."

"But Tora-o, come on! You can't say no to a PARTY!"

"I can. No."

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xix.

That didn't stop the Straw Hat captain from throwing a big party anyway.

Especially after Franky somehow managed to catch a super giant fish that could have lasted them for a whole month.

(Except their captain was a bottomless pit. They finished the giant fish in a night.

Fucking hell.)

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xx.

The first (and last) time he accepted Nami and Zoro's challenge to drink with them, he regretted every single second of it.

Those two probably had an extra liver somewhere in their body.

The next morning, Law woke up feeling as though he had lost about half of his brain cells.

He should've known better.

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xxi.

(But he vaguely remembered Nami collapsing against Zoro's shoulder sometime that night.

He tried to glare at Zoro, really, he did try. He wouldn't want to know how he looked trying to glare in that state, though.

Zoro had given him a pitying look, after all.

And he had fallen asleep right then, not before groggily watching Zoro—who was still somewhat sober enough, it seemed—carrying the navigator back to her cabin.

Maybe that had happened quite a few times and maybe it was nothing to both of them.

But the fact that Nami trusted her swordsman friend that much made Law grit his teeth.)

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xxii.

The Straw Hat captain asked him if he were marrying Nami again, for the twenty-fifth time... or was it twenty-sixth?

This time, not only did he mention the Franky-look-alike children, he also said something about naming the children after sea monsters.

How come Luffy didn't know that Slenderman wasn't a sea monster? Could the thing even swim? It looked like it ate some kind of devil fruit.

And a sharktopus? Dino-mer-goat? Flounder? What?

Law was getting tired of saying no, so he ignored the other captain.

And Luffy took that as a yes again.

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xxiii.

When he finally reunited with his crew members, he was finally free from the constant chaotic situation the Straw Hats were so used to.

Luffy had taken a liking to his navigator, though.

Well, his navigator was a literal polar bear.

But no, Law had to stop him, you can't eat my navigator!

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xxiv.

The second time they kissed, she said it was a goodbye.

If it confused him, he didn't show it, he was becoming too addicted to her.

The kiss was deeper than their first.

In the back of his head, he did wonder why, they were still going to stick together and both crews hadn't finished what they started; a war, that was.

Maybe, she just needed a reason to kiss him again.

Hell, he didn't need any reason.

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xxv.

The fourth time they were alone, it was when Law found her tending to her tangerine groves.

Maybe he came to ask her about the weather, maybe he came to see her.

Did it matter?

He was already there.

Before he left, Nami managed to ask him, what are we?

He didn't know.

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xxvi.

The alliance between both crews weren't forever.

She didn't want to have something only to lose it so soon.

Neither did he.

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xxvii.

But the heart had its own mind.

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xxviii.

Nami was looking at the picture of her mother.

Bellemere-san.

"I think I fell in love."

She put her finger in front of her lips.

"It's still a secret, he doesn't know yet."

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xxix.

That night, she stayed up late with Zoro for a drink.

He was truly loyal.

"If you scare him away, I will triple your debts... after beating you up until you cry."

Zoro glanced at her, smirking.

"That, over tangerines and money?"

She huffed.

"Maybe over money, but not tangerines."

...

"Just so you know that I—we, will gladly beat him up if you ever need us to do so. Say the word and we're on it."

She looked at him. Now he was embarrassed.

"You know, just dump him if he ever makes you cry... or if he turns out to have erectile dysfunction—"

—And Zoro got beaten up anyway.

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xxx.

The tenth time they kissed was also the first time he held her in his arms.

His fingers were hot where he touched her. His skin burnt where she touched him.

He couldn't stop.

He couldn't.

He laced their fingers together.

Law knew he was breaking.

No.

She felt like—tasted like—

No.

He shouldn't fall in l—

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xxxi.

—but he did.

So he kissed her harder.

When they were done, he held her tired body closer to his chest and she snuggled up to him.

Only when she had fallen asleep did he allow himself to whisper those words.

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xxxii.

That was the first time he woke up next to her.

It was dawn.

For the first time, his bed felt different. More comfortable, maybe.

And she had looked so fragile there, in his arms.

So he held her closer, and whispered good morning to his little thief.

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xxxiii.

And he silently promised to protect her.

(From the painful fate he seemed to attract, perhaps.)

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xxxiv.

She shifted in his arms.

The first time Nami told him about her past, he felt a stab to his chest.

Her stories were painfully similar to his.

And Law tried to kiss her pain away.

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xxxv.

But they were running out of time, you know.

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xxxvi.

"He feels like a first love," she said, while looking at a picture of her mother, again.

She couldn't even begin to describe how she felt.

Kind of like that one time she started dreaming of drawing the map of the whole world, but different. Kind of like that time when she went out to the sea as a part of the Straw Hats, but also different.

She couldn't explain.

"...Or maybe he is."

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xxxvii.

But sadly, they were running out of time.

He told her captain, once the alliance ended they would go back to being enemies.

Luffy only picked his nose.

Law was irritated. He turned away.

She was there. His gaze softened slightly.

Their crews would be enemies, after the alliance ended.

But they—

He shut his eyes.

He felt her small, gentle hands on his larger one.

They—

What would happen to them?

He would never hurt her. He couldn't.

He can't—

He would never let her get hurt, he'd rather die first.

Or protect her.

From enemies, from the world, he would protect her—

from himself.

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xxxviii.

Sometimes, he looked at her as if he was trying to convey his feelings.

Except he wasn't.

They were overflowing, anyway.

For example, when he was laying there, open and vulnerable, it was as if he was offering her his feelings.

Maybe he was.

Offering to her his feelings, for her to do anything with them. To reject, to crush, to—

—accept.

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xxxix.

They would part ways, in the end.

Was it worthwhile?

It had felt special.

"It was."

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xl.

They were running out of time.

Their kisses were becoming more heartbreaking.

Whenever he thrust into her, she could feel his desperation.

He looked at her and tried to remember every details of her face.

And those eyes—

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xli.

Trafalgar Law.

The surgeon of death.

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xlii.

And a man in love.

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xliii.

(It might be hard to imagine it but it was true. And it was good.

Oh, too good to be true.)

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xliv.

—And then, they finally parted ways.

Hopefully, they would see each other again soon.

He never said those words, but she didn't mind.

His touches said it all.

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xlv.

She never told him those words, too.

But he knew.

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notes; Thank you for reading and Happy LawNa Day! I will probably write the part 2 of this if you guys like this style.