Author's Note: I haven't seen HBP so I know literally nothing about the scene other than what's on the wiki page, so… here we go.

Round 13: Finals 1

Team: Pride of Portree

Keeper's Prompt: Write about the Whispering Wizard (there is a link to his page on the Knockturn Alley Wiki)

Position: Keeper

Word Count: 1029 excluding Author's Note

Whisper Secrets in My Ear

First of all, he absolutely was not going to stick his whole arm in the hole. "Why would I even do that?" the wizard whispered furiously into the wall.

The wall whispered back. "Oi, c'mon mate, it'll be fun. What've you got to lose?"

"Um, how about my arm?" The wizard fixed the wall with an especially good glare of his, one he'd picked up from his ex-girlfriend. She'd used it on him… a lot.

"Why'd ya need two, anyways?" the wall cajoled, as if this were in any way a negotiation.

"What do I need my arm for?! You're a wall! What could you possibly—" The wizard's exclamation was a notch above a whisper at this point, and he was starting to attract some strange looks (and when people in Knockturn Alley were staring at you, that's when you knew things had gotten bad).

"Hey!" the wall protested. "That's 'ardly fair, is it? Maybe I've got things I need ta hold? Didya ever think of that, huh?"

"How could my arm possibly help you if you haven't even got a body?" the wizard pointed out, wondering what he was still doing even talking to the blasted thing. Curiosity, unfortunately. The Wizarding World was a vast and mysterious place, but there was a surprising lack of talking masonry in it. And blast him, he wanted to know why it was talking.

"Now yer just bein' rude," the wall huffed. How was it huffing? It couldn't possibly have lungs!

...Could it?

"Well, what things do you want to hold then? Maybe I can hold them for you, and you wouldn't need my arm at all," the wizard said reasonably.

The wall considered this. "I want a hat," it finally decided.

"You haven't even got a head!" the wizard exploded, throwing his arms up in the air.

"That's why I need to hold it instead," the wall said. "Have ya always been this thickheaded?"

It occurred to the wizard that maybe he shouldn't press too much, in case the wall decided it wanted his head instead of just his arm. For the hundredth time since this conversation first began, the wizard considered walking away. But deep inside, he knew that somewhere, inside this strange hole in the wall, was everything he'd been looking for and if he just gave up now, then… Well then all the things Olivia had shouted at him while throwing his stuff out the window would be true.

"What if I got you a hook or something?" the wizard tried. "Then I could hang a hat from it."

The wall was silent for a moment. The wizard had no idea what it could be thinking. It wasn't exactly expressive.

The wizard stared into the hole, and deep inside, something twinkled back at him. "Ah hah", he said quietly. "There we go." And now he was sure. Where before there was idle curiosity, now there was grim determination. His half-baked hunch had been right.

"I might like that," the wall finally admitted. If the wall could've shrugged, it probably would have, and sent masonry crashing down around them.

"Excellent, then I'll be right back," the wizard said cheerfully. A small hook… and a niffler, he decided. Maybe one on a leash.

Only minutes later, he was pulling the niffler out of the hole— a small gold ring held firmly in its little mouth.

"Goodbye, wall," the wizard said. The wall didn't respond. The wizard didn't expect it to. Instead, he Stunned the niffler and pulled the ring out of its mouth. Gold— with a trio of diamonds set into the center. It was, of course, an engagement ring. It was also cursed, because the proposal had ended… quite badly. Unsurprising, given that Olivia had just found out about Deidre. And Annabelle. And Elizabeth. Thankfully not Lillian, though. That would've been… that would've been awkward.

When he turned away from the wall, Olivia was standing there, a scowl on her face. "You found it then," she said in a flat tone.

The wizard inspected the ring. "I suppose I did," he said.

Olivia sighed. "It was supposed to eat you, the blasted thing. But of course I configured the curse wrong and it gave the whole thing away. Never trust a bit of masonry to do a woman's job, I suppose."

"So you're going to eat me, then?" the wizard said with a cheeky grin. A moment later, he'd put his hands up, staring down cross-eyed at Olivia's wand right in front of his nose. "Or not," he hastily corrected.

"I am going to kill you," Olivia said slowly. The anger had left her face, leaving an eerie blankness that was somehow even more terrifying.

"I'd prefer that you didn't," the wizard said, wondering if he had time to go for his wand before she cursed him. Probably not worth the risk.

"I really don't care what you'd prefer," Olivia said. The wizard wasn't surprised.

"You'll go to Azkaban over me?" he said quietly.

"You think I'll get caught?"

"Liv, we're in the middle of Knockturn Alley. You do realize people are watching?"

Olivia didn't look around, but her hand tightened around her wand.

"Think about your future, Liv. Think what your mom will say if you get arrested."

"Stop calling me that," she hissed, real emotion making its way back onto her face.

"You know I'm just—" He didn't hear the curse that hit him, but damn did he feel it.

"You're right," she said quietly, standing over his fallen form as he writhed on the ground. "You're not worth it, and you've never been." She reached down, and picked up the ring that had fallen out of his hand. She inspected it with a practiced eye, and then tucked it into her pocket.

"Wait—" the wizard gasped, and reached out for her. "That's my grand—"

Olivia stomped on his hand, twisting her heel and smiling at the crack of bones. "Bye, idiot." And she turned around and flounced away.

In the last moments before the wizard passed out, he heard a dry chuckle, and a voice like stones scraping against each other: "Shoulda just stuck yer arm in."