A/N: What kind of Barson fan would I be if I didn't write a Barson baby fic? Psh. Not a very good one. Also, NEVER FEAR because I'm working on the next chapters of Break-In and Captive! I know a lot of you are waiting on it but I'm trying to make them the best they can be. However, I do need a break when writing them because they're heavy on the violent and angsty and dramatic and thriller side. Plus...you gotta indulge a plot bunny when you have it.

Also, I'm trying to balance between a full time job, a summer class and rehearsal for a summer musical I'm in, so...yeah. That's my schedule in a nutshell. Anyhow, I intended for this to be a one-shot but I'm incapable of writing those. Like, seriously, I find it hard to do so. It's happened, but not very often. I'll shut up now. If any of you made it this far...you the real MVP. Enjoy!

Of course, the possibility of having a baby at this age was never on the table.

Liv knew that as soon as she passed the age of 40 that pregnancy wasn't an option and she struggled with that for a while, somewhere, in the back of her mind, hoping that one day she would experience that joyous feeling of creating a human life and becoming a mother.

But, then she got over it, the feeling still lingering but never enough to push her in the direction of a sperm donor and going through the process by herself. She put in the back of her mind and kept on working, making a difference in the lives of victims across NYC along with her team.

Fast forward to 53 and here she was, sitting on the edge of her bed, draped in her boyfriend's favorite fleece blanket on a cold, fall morning, staring at a stick that was smiling back at her, telling her she was pregnant.

Liv tilted her head, eyebrows knit together as she re-read the blinking word on the small screen once, twice, three times and then read it a few more just to make sure. She even grabbed the empty box, reading through the instructions for the tenth time just to make sure it was reading right.

Then, she tried two more, from two different brands that offered the same measly worded slogans, guaranteeing 99% accuracy Every. Single. Time.

Well…

"Bullshit," she scoffed and grabbed up the other two sticks, shoving them back in a box she hadn't destroyed and shoving them in the plastic bag from the drug store she kept. Either they were wrong, something was wrong with her or those tests were so far off and downright wrong, it was funny.

She disposed of them, making sure they were buried at the bottom of the bathroom waste basket, never to be accidentally discovered by the other two occupants of her small apartment. Another wave of nausea swept through her stomach like a tumble weed in a desolate dessert. This stupid feeling was what prompted the buying of the tests in the first place, along with a few other odd symptoms and a joke Amanda made in passing the other day that stuck with her for hours afterwards.

Really, she hadn't meant to pick up the tests when she ran down the street to the store, needing to pick up some more bubble bath for her three-year-old and shaving cream for her stressed out 47-year-old. She happened to walk past them, back track and take a long gander at the fully stocked rows of expensive sticks for shoving a few in her shopping basket, feeling self-conscious when an old woman walked past her and eyed her purchases.

She never expected anything to come out of it. She was 53, for crying out loud! Women her age didn't get pregnant. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't and she refused to believe it could ever be possible. She wasn't pregnant and that was that.

Except, now she was in the doctor's office waiting room, knee bouncing nervously as she tried to keep her mind off the impending appointment by watching the mid-morning news and checking in on her squad and the current case they were running.

Noah sat by her feet, playing with a book and a few action figures he pulled from the toy box in the corner and babbling about the big fish tank and how many fishies he wanted and-

"Olivia Benson."

She hastily grabbed her purse and pulled Noah along with her, nodding as he asked if he could take along the little army man and dinosaur he'd been playing with. Throughout the entire check-in process, she kept telling herself it was just a faulty test (all three of them) and she was in perfect health for a woman her age.

She even did it through the entirety of the doctor's appointment, despite the doctor's explanation that it, in fact, was possible and it did happen, just not as much as it happened for younger women. She wasn't a younger woman and she wasn't pregnant, so she just waved it off, forcing her concentration on watching Noah, who was becoming increasingly interested in the tongue depressors and cotton balls sitting in glass jars on the desk next to where he sat.

Liv let him draw the blood and run his tests, even taking a quick phone call with Rafael, who slaved away in his office and whined about her having week off for vacation and leaving him with her annoying (the word was used with no ill-will (she thinks)) detectives who bothered him for things they wanted.

It calmed her down, feeling normal as she easily bypassed the fact that she was sitting in a doctor's office, waiting for actually accurate pregnancy test results, while talking to her man. She cut the conversation short, coming up with some white lie about Noah getting into something he wasn't supposed to, but it hadn't been a lie at all because he actually was dangerously close to the glass jars on the desk just as the doctor walked back in.

"Sorry for the wait, but we did get an accurate reading," he smiled and sat down, pulling a few stickers out of his pocket for her son, who cheered and immediately stuck all of them to his shirt and pants while the doctor ran through the chart with same old results and then…

"You're pregnant."

Liv's kind smile as she listened to her stellar results didn't falter, but her heart may have in its beats. She nearly choked on a surprised gasp, but kept it to a reasonable 'meep' as she tried to process the information.

"Ms. Benson?"

She still sat there, hands on her knees and smile on her face while Noah played away, dragging the toy dinosaur across the plastic chair. She zeroed in on the sound, her mind moving too fast to try and do anything else. She was positive she was having a mental breakdown in that moment, but she wasn't sure because she was feeling sick and her head was spinning and WHAT THE HELL.

"Pregnant?"

"Yes," the doctor said, nodding and looking at her over his thick-rimmed glasses, seeming to understand that she was shocked about her results and she was thankful for that, even though he was the bearer of news that was about to change her life.

She drifted out of the doctor's office in a daze, a list of supplements she needed to pick up immediately, along with a newly scheduled appointment for the following week to check up. She also drifted along the busy city sidewalks and through the same drug store she'd been in just a day prior.

Pre-natal vitamins…Vitamin D…Calcium…she was tempted to buy a coffee and slam it because the stress was so real, right there in the vitamin aisle with Noah clinging to her hand and asking if they could buy some candy.

No more caffeine…no more wine with dinner…

Liv made it back to her bathroom, still in a daze but reality was slowly sinking into her as she took off her shirt and turned sideways in the bathroom mirror. Her stomach was flat and toned, thanks to years of diligent workouts and watching what she ate (for the most part) with no signs of a baby growing in there.

Literally…no signs.

She laughed a little, an undeniable feeling of overwhelming joy engulfing her half-naked form as she stood on the soft green rug in the bathroom, hands flattening on her stomach and envisioning the baby bump that would be there in just a few short months. Seven months, to be precise.

Two months already and she didn't even know it. Rafael hadn't caught on either, but he just thought she'd been sick with some bug that was taking a long time to leave her system.

Nope.

She felt euphoric and frightened all wrapped into one. Something she never thought possible for her was happening and it was happening at a time in her life where things were good. She had a little boy that was the reason she got up every morning and she was with a man who loved her like no one had loved her before and who she loved just as much.

But, she was frightened because there was a reason women her age didn't get pregnant.

Her doctor had been very serious during that part of the discussion, wanting to prepare her for things that may happen at stages during her pregnancy that would cause nothing but heart break. She was frightened because her job was dangerous and stressful sometimes, and those could have an impact on the health of her unborn child.

The negative possibilities she didn't even want to think about happening could happen…

"Mommy! I hungry!"

In all honestly, the odds were more in her favor than stacked against her. If not for her being in shape and healthy, this wouldn't have been possible but that didn't mean she was completely immune from everything advanced age pregnancy would bring.

Bed rest was something the doctor mentioned…

She cringed at just the thought of being bed-ridden for months on end but she would do what she would need to ensure the safety of the baby. Suddenly, that had become her number one concern.

What should have been her number one concern to begin with was how she was going to break the news to Noah. Better yet, how was she going to break the news to Raf? Somehow, those thoughts hadn't occurred to her the entire way home.

"Noah," she handed him his plate of cut up apples and a few carrot sticks, smiling as he hummed happily along to the television in the living room, "I have a question for you. I need you to listen, ok?"

Noah swung his head around to her, chewing on an apple slice and that was all the prompting she needed, "Do you want a little brother or sister? Would you like that?"

He furrowed his brow, swallowing his mouthful, "Brover?"

"Yeah, or a sister?"

He shrugged after a long moment of silence and consideration, choosing instead to focus on the television displaying brightly colored characters dancing across the screen. Liv chuckled and figured that was going to be the best response she was going to get from the toddler.

Now…all she had to worry about was Rafael.

God, she really needed some wine…