For the first two week after Tony finds out, he doesn't leave the shop. He has his Die Hard Marathon with Clint, while they make fun of basically everything the movies stands for. They drink a lot of alcohol. A lot. But it still isn't enough. So when Clint passes out, he grabs what is left of the stash and continues down in his workshop.

He puts everything on lock down, bars all the override codes and just... says fuck it. He spends the first three days outrageously drunk off his ass. It would have been more, but he ran out of alcohol. After he recovers, he invents. He can't say exactly what he invents because fuck knows what. But it can't be anything too dangerous because nothing explodes.

Throughout it all, JARVIS snarks and the bots fret. He hates worrying them like this, but he just... He just can't. It's as if he was standing in the wreckage of the first battle with Ob- with Stane. He is looking down at the corpse of someone he thought of as family. Someone he thought would always be there for him. Someone he loved. Someone he trusted.

And isn't that the real problem right there? It's not Barnes he has the problem with, it is Ste- Rogers. Sure, he is mad as hell that Barnes killed his parents. His Mother. Furious. He has the urge to punch something every time he thinks about it. Preferably Barnes' face. But for all his anger with Barnes, it is a campfire compared to the inferno he feels with Steve.

Steve, who was his teammate. Steve, who was his best friend outside of Rhodey. Steve, who he loved and looked up to for as long as he could remember. Steve, who he trusted with his life and, however foolishly, his heart. That Steve lied to him. Betrayed him. Chose someone else over with, because he wasn't worth enough.

Never worth it. Never good enough. Never able to measure up. The story of his life, living in another's shadow. No matter how hard he tries, he never seems able to escape.

When he finally comes up for air, he is totally and completely unsurprised to find Nick Fury in his kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. Because of course he is. No one stays dead anymore. He doesn't believe it unless the body has been positively identified seven different ways, decapitated, staked through the heart and burnt to ash. And even then, he might still look over his shoulder every now and again. Just to be safe.

"You better have left some for me," he warns, voice a croak from disuse.

"What am I, your nanny?" Fury snarks. But as Tony pours himself a cup, he sees it is a fresh pot. He drains the first two cups without thought before sitting down with a third. "Shall I expect Agent next?" he asks casually.

"Are you in the business of entertaining the deceased?"

Tony shrugs. "Seems like it so far. Personally I'm honored you left the afterlife just to visit little old me. What's the occasion?" As he can't already guess.

"Captain Rogers-" Fury starts and Tony cuts him off.

"No," he says, "I could care less about what Captain Liar is up to. He can go suck a dick for all I care. Probably Barnes', once everything is sorted out." Bitterness drips from his voice, but he no longer cares. He is so tired of all this shit. It's been his life for so long and he is tired of it.

"He's currently with Wilson in DC right now."

Tony gives Fury the finger. Whatever. Good thing Birdman hadn't moved in yet after all.

"However, we're unsure as to where Barnes is."

The genius just raises an eyebrow at Fury in disbelief. They don't know where Barnes is? Yeah right. And he's Queen of England.

"We cannot have such a high risk individual running loose."

"He had been on the run for two years before this and you suddenly think he is going to break now? Try the other leg."

"We knew where Barnes was then."

"And you didn't think to tell Ste- Rogers that?"

"He didn't need to know. Barnes wasn't ready."

Tony shifts in his seat to look directly at Fury. "Tell me something Director," he mocks, "did you by chance have anything to do with Barnes suddenly appearing three months ago?"

"It was time."

Tony snorts. "Of course you did. Still can't keep your nose out of anything can you? Once a spy, always a spy."

"We need to know where Barnes is."

"And you think I know, why? Why should I give a shit where that murderous little asshole went? Good riddance to bad garbage. He killed my parents. Why would I want anything to do with him?"

"Because you know what it is like to be tortured" Fury says bluntly.

Tony barely keeps from flinching violently. No one ever talks about Afghanistan. And he shuts them down anytime they do. It's a topic that never fails to make him uncomfortable. Even now, he still dreams of that godforsaken cave. Stale water and cold breath and foreign, taunting voices. The beginning of all his issues, if one doesn't count Howard.

"So?"

"You created weapons. You know not to blame the gun for the death."

"And that's what Barnes was? The gun?"

"You know he was."

Tony slams his fist down on the table, pissed. "So because Barnes was brainwashed, I'm not allowed to be angry. Because he didn't have a choice, I can't be furious with him. Even though his hands did the deed, I can't blame him. My emotions are completely invalidated because someone else was a complete asshole. Who cares what I feel? That's not important because I should be more understanding, more caring, more compassionate," he spits the words, "Once again, I have to push everything aside for someone else. I have to be the bigger man. Who cares what emotional trauma this does to me. I'm not the important one. I'm never the important one. Never fucking good enough, in my entire goddamn fucking life!" he shouts the last bit. He is breathing hard and glaring at Fury, absolutely daring him to agree.

But all Fury does is sigh a rather aggressive sigh. "Goddamn you Howard," he says and... that was not the response Tony was expecting. He fully expected Fury to tell him to stuck it up, grow a pair and get one with it.

Stark men are made of iron.

"Stark, I'm not saying you can't be pissed. I'm saying I need to know where Barnes is in case anything goes wrong. I'm asking you because I know you wouldn't have just let the man go. Either by understanding or revenge, you'll keep an eye on Barnes."

And Tony is actually impressed. He didn't think Fury would ever show him this level of understanding. It's almost unnerving. "Not going to lecture me about team spirit and the power of forgiveness?"

"You're a big boy Stark, you know the team is important. The world needs protection."

"And so I need to just forgive and forget?"

"No, you need to put on your big boy pants and work with these people when needed."

"For the Greater Good?" he asks, sickeningly sweet.

"Fuck Stark, who do I look like? Dumbledore? I'm not here to offer you a blasted lemon drop. I'm here because you know what is out there. You need to be ready for it."

"Oh now you listen to me," Tony waves off.

"Stark, you are a goddamn arrogant pain in my ass. But you're a genius for a reason. When you made your report about the aliens, yes I goddamn listened. Didn't mean I could show it. I've known you since you were in diapers, even if you don't remember me. I know what you can do. Don't fuck this up."

"You know what a team needs?" Tony asks idly, "More than anything? Trust. Rogers was always going on about trust in your teammates. How we need to count on each other to win. How there shouldn't be any big secrets on the team. How we either win together or we lose together. We need each other to survive. Ironic, isn't it, that the poster boy for trust was keeping the biggest secret of them all?"

"Even Captain America isn't perfect."

"Wish someone would have told me that as a kid," he mutters as he takes a sip of his coffee. "Out of idle curiosity, how long did it take you to realize that?"

Fury's face actually looks pained when he admits, "Too long."

Tony nods. He looks at Fury a while longer, casually sipping his coffee. It is only when it is empty that he admits, "I know where Barnes is." He has his back purposefully turned from Fury as he pours himself another cup. "I sent him to a friend for help."

As he turns back, Fury raises an eyebrow at him. "Anyone we know."

Tony shrugs. "I assume you would know their name if I gave it to you. As is, I know he's safe and working through his shit. I'm getting updates, whether I want them or not." And he is definitely more on the not side. But Stephen is still texting him. He leaves it up to JARVIS to read them. His AI will let him know if he needs to be aware of something. That's good enough for him.

"Any chance of getting a name?"

Tony just looks at him.

"That's what I thought. Goddamn pain in my ass." And wow, that almost sounded affectionate. Tony's not sure what to do with that.

So he just snorts. "Later Dread Pirate. Next time you feel like stopping by – don't." He walks out of the kitchen, leaving the spy to see himself out.

-xxx-

Strangely enough, the talk with Fury calmed something inside Tony that no one else could. Not even the team. And wasn't that a mess right now. Tony finds out not long after Steve left that Natasha knew as well and never said anything. She said that she assumed – wrongly – that Steve was going to tell Tony. Especially after Bucky moved in. She never says anything, but Tony is feeling judged.

Clint is fully on his side. Because he is a good bro. Tony can say he is honestly surprised. Not because he thinks Clint would turn on him. But he was mind controlled by Loki. He knows what that's like. Tony would think he would side with Bucky, not Tony. After all, no one on the team blames him for his part in the Battle of New York. Why should Tony blame Bucky when it's essentially the same thing – sans the violence level. But apparently the one time they got on the topic, they bonded over feeling guilty as shit about what they did, choice or no.

Of course they only talked about it once because Steve was forever insisting there was no need to feel guilt over anything. No choice means no guilt apparently. Yeah right. Tony would laugh if he didn't find the whole thing so sad. He might anyways. Better to laugh then cry.

Hell, he still feels guilty about the people his weapons killed when Stane was still alive. He feels responsible and he didn't know about it for years. But he should have. He is a genius, he should have figured it out. As Natasha said, he has red on his ledger that he's trying to wipe away. Not that he ever feels like he is succeeding.

God, this team is such a fucking disaster.

Bruce stays out of it, for the most part. The tension upsets the Other Guy. But he does agree with Tony and admits that if Hulk sees Rogers or Barnes anytime soon, it's not going to be pretty. Thor tries to see both sides of the fight, as a good ruler should. But, privately, he agrees that Steve, while well meaning, pulled a dick move. He loves Thor.

But, as it does, life goes on. As of right now, the team is split in two. Natasha eventually moves in with Rogers and Wilson. Tony still can't decide if it's because she likes Steve better or if she is just being practical. Either way, another part of him relaxes when she is gone. The Golden Trio seem to be tackling HYDRA as they go. If they need a heavy hitter, Thor will join them for the mission. Their section deals with the villains of the week. It's a good system, even if the reason they are split isn't.

Tony's emotions fluctuate between intense rage, betrayal and – frankly – pity for Barnes. He has finally started reading some of the texts Stephen sends him and it seems like it is rough going for Barnes. His mind is a mess, his memories are a jumble and his PTSD is intense.

It's four months from the fact when Stephen asks him for something he really doesn't want to do – talk to Barnes. Or at least answer his text if he does. He thinks it would help both of them. It seems the soldier still feels horrible of 'taking advantage of him', since Tony didn't know. He says he'll think about it.

Barnes starts texting him next week. It takes Tony another month to respond, but he does read them before that. He just... he needed time to prepare himself. A lot of time. It still makes something in his gut curl when he talks to the man. But, slowly, it is getting easier to ignore. Text by text, it is getting easier to imagine forgiving Barnes one day. Ironic that, considering he still wants to shoot Rogers in the goddamn face.

Maybe that might get his point across.

Maybe. He wouldn't count on it though.

So he'll never admit it Stephen, but it does help. And, according to the sorcerer, it is helping Barnes as well. Good.

The soldier is surprisingly a good conversationalist once Tony got him to stop apologizing every other text. He remembers that Rogers once said that, back in the day, Barnes was a real charmer. Slowly that part of him is coming back. He sasses Tony via text, he sends greetings to him bots, he sends stupid memes he finds amusing. They argue sci fi best and he recommends the classics. Barnes is a huge Tolkien fan, as it turns out. Tony is endlessly amused by this. He rereads the books just to be able to make accurate jokes.

They get into a huge text war on Star Trek vs Star Wars. Barnes is a huge troll about it too. He spams Tony's phone, sasses and snarks about solid points, plays devil's advocate, and is a general ass about it. The worst – or best, depending on who you ask – is that Barnes is just doing it for the shit of it. He's totally a Trekkie. He learns later they are the entertainment of the Sanctum. Assholes.

And then comes the real test, a year after everything has happened. Barnes is cured. Or as cured as one can be with decades of torture and brainwashing under one's belt. Manageable would be the better term. He still has PTSD, his memories are still a bit sketchy, but other than that, he's a whole lot better than he was when he arrived. The programming is fully out of his head, the guilt, while still there, is controllable.

He now has the option of leaving.

He doesn't have to. Stephen is happy to continue housing him. He would be able to learn magic if he wanted to, or not. Or, if not, he could move out and move on with his life. He doesn't have to fight anymore if he doesn't want to. If he still wanted to, he could move in with the Golden Trio. They are taking down HYDRA. That would probably appeal to him. Or... he could come back to the Compound.

Tony had thought long and hard before extending the invitation. He didn't want to set Barnes back because he couldn't control his emotions. But while he is no closer to forgiving Rogers, he finds he can forgive Barnes. Something he never thought he would do.

And he has grown... fond of Barnes after all these months. The man is sassy and willing to argue with him over dumb stuff and asks about his work because he is interested in it. Barnes has gotten a crash course in engineering over the past months as he asks what Tony did that day. He has also heard a number of complaints about running a company, even if Pep is CEO. He is still head of R&D and the main share holder, so he still has to be involved with it. No matter how boring he finds it.

So one year and two months after Tony found out Barnes killed his parents, he welcomes the man back into his home. What a life he leads.

"If it isn't the prodigal son," Tony says when Barnes walks in, bags in hand.

"I don't think that's how that story goes," Clint comments from the couch.

"Fuck you Barton," Tony tells the archer.

"Ya mean to tell me I don't get a fancy party?" Barnes teases.

"Why, you think you're that special?"

"Oh doll, I'm all kinds of special," Barnes winks at him.

"Special ed maybe," Tony answers.

Barnes grins and something in Tony's stomach flutters. He freezes. Oh shit. You have got to be kidding him. Absolutely kidding him. No, no way in hell. No.

Barnes notices. "Ya okay there Stark?"

Tony waves him off. "Yeah, I'm fine sugar pie. Just a stray thought. Nothing to worry about."

"Ya sure?"

"He does that all the time. You're lucky he hasn't rushed off to the shop to work on it. For a genius, he is sure as hell absent minded."

He could have kissed Clint at that moment. "I see how it is Robin Hood. See if I make you those new arrows now."

Clint instantly jumps over the couch and clings to Tony tightly. "No, no. You're the best. My favorite genius ever. No offense Bruce."

Bruce waves as he takes a seat. "No offense taken. I'm perfectly fine without being manhandled into affection."

Clint grins. "I'll get you that coffee you like for a month."

Tony straightens as much as he is able to. "Clint," he gasps, sounding shocked, "are you trying to buy my affections?"

"Yeah. Is it working yet?"

"Deliver the goods and we'll see."

Barnes watches all this, a bemused look on his face.

"Welcome back to the madhouse," Bruce tells Barnes, "Not much has changed since you've been gone." And then he gives the soldier a pointed look. It's as close to a warning as Bruce is comfortable with at this point, but it makes Tony happy nonetheless.

Barnes obviously has no problem reading it because he flushes. He gives the scientist a firm nod and that's that.

"Come on then, drop off your bags and get comfortable. Pizza should be here in half an hour," Tony tells him.

Barnes grins. "I knew you loved me doll."

Another flutter in Tony's stomach. Yeah, he's so screwed.

-xxx-

Tony waits until he is able to retreat to the workshop before he freaks out. What the absolute hell?! How the hell did this happen? When did this happen? All he's done is text the man. And now that he's back he has a crush on him? How?! And for all that is holy and scared and all that shiz, why?!

His crush on Rogers is long gone. Erased. Destroyed. Dust in the wind. Fine, it's obvious why and he's confident that it is never coming back. But now he has a crush on Roger's best friend?

This is a recipe for disaster.

He clearly remembers how in love Rogers was with Barnes. He remembers the look in his eyes, the realization on what he would do just to be with the other soldier. The pain when he knew he could never be with the man like he wanted.

And now he has a crush on the other half of the equation. Disaster.

He is honestly surprised that Barnes came here and didn't join Rogers. They are the perfect match after all. The Dynamic Duo. The pair that lived and fought and protected each other with everything they had. Hell, Rogers became Captain America to follow Barnes. That's how he became the leader of the Howling Commandos. That's how there was a Howling Commandos to begin with. History ate their story up.

And now he is here, instead. But Tony remembers his doubts about co-dependency and how comfortable Barnes was around Rogers. Maybe there was actually something to that. If anything, he could still be mad that he didn't tell Tony like he said he did.

But he honestly thought they would have worked that out by now. It's not as if the issues between them were as big as the one between him and Tony. But, once again, what does he know? Maybe there is more going on here than he knows.

He can't be in love with Barnes because he knows how this is going to end. He's no one after all. He's not coming out of this on top. Sure, he could be friends with Barnes. Maybe he could even become as close as he and Rogers once were. But no more than that. Never more than that. He is forever destined to fall in love with those that don't love him or can't love him like he needs.

Wait... love? Who said anything about love? This is a crush. Just a stupid crush. He is in no way, shape or form in love with Barnes. Not at all. Why would he? What's so lovable about Barnes? Besides his snark and his love of science and his laugh and his charm and his looks and... oh hell.

He's so fucked.

So he does whatever he panics over emotions. He avoids them. Mainly by hiding in the shop until he can pretend they don't exist anymore. Or until he can push them down enough that he can control himself around said person. God, with Rogers, it took him two weeks. This time... Well, he's on week two and going strong. Damn. He bangs his head on the table.

Which is right when Barnes walks in. Great. How he loves his life.

"Ya alright there Stark?" he asks curiously.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he reassures. Or not, but the other man doesn't need to know that.

Barnes doesn't look like he believes him, but he doesn't say anything about it. "What are you working on now?" he asks instead.

"A new upgrade for the StarkPhone, a prototype arrow for Legolas, repairs on the suit and... ugh..." he trails off. He knows there is something else, but he doesn't remember what.

"A prototype for a hoverboard," JARVIS informs them.

Tony snaps his fingers. "Right, I was trying to see if I could make a hoverboard that could retract into a pair of boots."

Barnes looks interested. "Any luck?"

"Not so far, the boots are too balky and uncomfortable, but I'm working on it."

The soldier smiles."I'm sure you'll get it. You're a smart fella."

Tony has to fight the blush that wants to form. Because he hasn't blushed since MIT and he doesn't plan on starting now. "You need anything?"

He shakes his head. "Just came to see if ya were okay. The others said this was normal, but," he shrugs. "Wanted to be sure."

Tony smiles at him. "Don't worry big bad wolf, you haven't scared me off."

"Good," Barnes looks relieved, "Hate to make you uncomfortable in your own home."

"This is your home now too."

Barnes gives him another one of those smiles and god, does Tony want. But he restrains himself. Despite what people think, he can control himself. Sometimes. But then he asks what he had been wondering since Barnes arrived. "I'm surprised you wanted to come back actually."

"Where else would I go?"

"Rogers' place in DC," he shrugs.

Barnes looks distinctly uncomfortable with the mention. "That's not a good idea," he tells the genius.

"Why not? Before you left," before he threw them out, "you were inseparable."

"That was part of the problem," Barnes sighs, "Steve was always there. And I appreciated it... sort of. He was a familiar face in a sea of panic attacks and confusion. But," he shakes his head, "He's changed. He isn't the little punk that never backed down from a fight. He use to have to shout to be heard and was never surprised when he was ignored. Now... now he's too use to being heard I think. He's making choices like he knows best and..." He shakes his head again. "And he looked at me like I was the Bucky he remembered. I ain't. I'm different now and so is he. But he can't accept that. He's clinging too hard to a past that doesn't exist anymore."

Barnes looks over to where Dum-E is trying to clean up a pile of tools. "He's not comfortable with the future. But I am. He skipped seventy years, but I've been awake off and on for them. I'm use to the technology. I know how to use it. I wanted to learn. Steve... I think, if he had the option, Steve would go back to the past in a heartbeat."

Tony remembers his and Rogers conversation a lifetime ago and can't breathe. "So he can't accept who you are now?"

"He thinks there's nothing to accept because nothing has changed."

"Couldn't you show him the new you?"

"Maybe, but," he hesitates.

"What?"

"He kissed me."

Tony's heart drops. "What?" he squeaks. Not that he's surprised, but what?

Barnes nods. "After the two of you fought. I tried to avoid him after I left the Compound, but I didn't quite make it. He just walked right up to me and kissed me. Told me he couldn't live in this century without me. That I was his stone. I was the only thing that made sense. He'd been in love with me for years, but never said anything before we both 'died'," he air quotes, "Said to come with him to DC where we could be together."

"What did you do?"

"Punched him in the goddamn nose."

Tony snorts, taken aback.

"I had just found out that he lied to me about telling you. That was my one condition of moving in with him. The only one. And he lied. He lied and he was always telling me I couldn't – shouldn't – be guilty about what HYDRA made me do. Made all my choices for me, even when I could have handled a few," he let's out a long breath, "The Steve I knew would have never ignored me like that. He would have helped me through it instead. Sure, the punk is still too stubborn for his own good, but it's in all the wrong ways now. I punched him and yelled at him and haven't talked to him since.

"I know you don't like being thanked so much, but you have no idea what a god sent your offer was. I didn't want to be anywhere near Steve, but I didn't have anywhere else to go. You were furious with me, but you still offered to help me. You remind me more of Steve now than Steve does."

Tony... Tony doesn't know what to say to all of this. It's... wow. It's a lot of information to process at once. Rogers was in love with Barnes, but Barnes doesn't feel the same. He was so mad at Rogers that he hasn't talked to him in a year. And Tony... Tony reminds Barnes of Rogers. Of Steve, the skinny kid from Brooklyn. The person Tony was never able to live up to.

But he did, because Barnes, who knew that Steve personally, said he did. Suck that Howard. He just blinks at Barnes, not sure what to say.

Barnes grins at him. "I didn't break you, did I?"

Tony snorts. "Hardly. You're going to have to try harder than that Barnes."

"How about this then?" He walks around the table, right into Tony's personal space. Slowly, he raises a hand to cup Tony's face. His breath hitches. "Okay?"

"Yeah," Tony breathes move then says.

And then Barnes kisses him. It is a slow kiss. A soft kiss. So tender it makes something in Tony break. Oh god. Barnes is kissing him. Barnes is kissing him. And he's kissing him right back.

When Barnes pulls back, he examines Tony's face. "Still good?"

"Yeah Barnes, I'll pickle out if I'm not."

Barnes snorts at that, but smiles. "Bucky," he says instead.

Tony grins. "Bucky," he says.

Barnes – no Bucky grins. "Like the way ya say my name doll."

"Bucky," Tony purrs.

Bucky kisses him soundly.

Maybe not such a disaster after all.

Ta-da! It's done. This story brings out all the feels and all the rants from that goddamn movie. All of them. I didn't start this fic out trying to make Steve such an ass, if you can believe it. Really. But if the characterization for CW is accurate, I'm pretty sure this is MCU canon. But it's not suppose to be Steve bashing... Steve critical maybe, but I'm not trying to make any one the bad guy in this story. I'm just working with what that movie gave me. (Alright, so maybe I'm not trying to make Steve the good guy, either. Because really?) (Yeah, I'm Team Tony, sue me.)