This woman will be the absolute death of me. I was doing so well. I was two words away from having the future I dreamed of. Two measly words and everything would have fallen into place. You would have went out with her, had a fun time, started dating each other, she would have forgotten all about Tim and you could finally have the loving family you always wanted. Yet you messed up. You are a coward. You have practically just guaranteed that your dreams will stay dreams. She will go with Tim and realize that he is the better guy for her and start a life with him. She will leave again and this time, there will be no rescue from the cliff edge. Walter hung his head in shame, closed his eyes, and clenched his jaw. The feelings were becoming too overwhelming to continue his thought process but he couldn't stop going over the memory in his head.
Paige was looking at the tickets in her hand and wondering if she should ask Tim to go with her. Just because Walter said it was for them doesn't mean she has to take him. Paige looked up when she heard a low aggravated sigh. She saw Walter bow his head and she could see the muscles in his neck tensing. Ray's words came back to her. "You know how he feels about you. You need to go to him. He's not able to do it on his own." Determination filled her and she knew what she had to do. She got up and walked to Walter's desk. She waited for him to lift his head and acknowledge her before she spoke.
She placed the tickets on his desk. "Walter, I can't accept these tickets."
"Ok..well I-I guess I could give them to Happy and Toby." He reached for them but Paige pulled them back slightly. "Was there something else?"
"Yes, there is actually. I have a reason for not accepting them but I have to ask, do you really want me to go with Tim?" She paused and she could see the answer in his eyes "Because I don't think you do. You want to know what I think?" He nodded. "I think that you were hoping to go with me. So the question is Walter, why didn't you finish asking me?"
He briefly looked away before turning back while a hand ran through his hair. "You know that I only state facts, right?" She nodded. "Well, the fact is that ever since Tim came and joined us, I've become jealous. At first it was because he got along so well with Cabe, that I thought that Cabe would eventually see him as a better son-figure than me so that I would once again lose my father. Thanks to Toby though, who can't keep his mouth shut, Cabe shut that thought process down quick after we came back from Djibouti." He took a breath because he knew the next part would be tough. "After that though I came to realize that there was a more important reason for my jealousy. He-He started getting close to you. He protected you at least somewhat from that bullet in Djibouti, then after we came back, he rubbed ointment on that sore spot on your back and I was sitting on the couch and just watching the interaction."
He raised a hand and stopped her from interrupting because he knew if he couldn't get this out now, then he probably never would. "Do you know the real reason I tried speed dating?" He continued before she could answer. "I tried speed dating as an experiment. To prove to myself and to you that all the work that you were doing to make me act more normal was working. To branch out socially. To prove that I can become the man that you deserve. I was never serious about starting something with Linda and especially after she was strapped to a bomb, I never expected to see her again. After Djibouti, I saw how the two of you interacted and how easily you both got along with each other and how attracted you both were to each other. I thought to myself, "She has finally gotten tired of waiting for you and is moving on with Tim." I can't say that the thought didn't hurt me because it did. But you deserved to be happy and if Tim could make you happy, then I couldn't be selfish so I dismissed my feelings and acted like they don't bother me so that when Linda showed up again I accepted her offer for another date. Thanks again to Toby, he helped me realize that of course Linda couldn't actually be into me and I hate to admit it, but again he was right."
He got up and started pacing. "So on the night that Ralph won his case, I broke up with her and you accepted Tim's offer for a date, which I didn't find out about until later. So we come to this last case. I hid the fact that I was jealous because I didn't want to pressure you with my emotional deficiencies. After our kiss where we decided to just be colleagues, we got really close and you became my best friend. I think about that kiss all the time. I regret pulling away from you when all I wanted was to keep going. Happy also gave me another reason. According to the theory of repeated outcomes, every time I have tried to love someone or have loved someone, something always happens for that person to leave my life. First it was the distance from my parents then it was Megan's death. You once said that sometimes it ok to not think about the greater good and to just be selfish for once. So the tickets were my attempt at being selfish. To try and see if maybe you and I could see if we could work as a couple, but I chickened out because compared to Tim I just don't measure up. He is normal and you will be happier and have easier time having a relationship with someone who is not as emotional inept as I am. Tim is an amazing guy and he is good for you. All I have ever done is bring you heartbreak and sorrow. I'm just holding you back in life. I would inevitably mess up any relationship we had and then what would happen to us. I'd much rather have you as a friend and for you to be happy with Tim than lose your friendship all together. So like I said that day on the train, I would gladly face certain death and loneliness if it means life for you and Ralph."
He stopped and looked at her. She had tears running down her face. Just like I thought. Heartbreak and Sorrow. "So while I don't necessarily want you to go with him, I will not stop you." He started walking towards the loft but he turned and said one more thing. "I'm sorry for just dumping all of that on you but I felt like you needed to know. Just completely forget about what I said and have a good time with Tim. Goodnight Paige." Before she could say anything he disappeared into the loft.