Cut!

I Own Nothing

All Rights Reserved

Chapter 1

Astrid felt Hiccup gently put his hand on hers. She strained her eyes trying to see him again, but in vain.

"Astrid, you and I have been through everything together. You don't think we can't handle this? Astrid you have me no matter what. Okay, whatever that means, whatever you want it to mean, I am with you always. There will always be a—"

"Augh!" Astrid screamed. Her fists flew her to eyes and her face was a picture of pure agony.

"Cut!" Director T.J. Sullivan leapt out of his chair, "Astrid, what's the matter?"

"It's these stupid contacts!" she shouted, "They hurt my eyes and I can't see a thing!"

"Well you're supposed to be blind!" Hiccup loudly pointed out, "that's kinda the point!"

Sullivan sighed through his megaphone, "Well I'm sorry, Astrid, but the sooner we get this scene shot the sooner you can take those contacts out, so let's take it from the top, all right? Ready?" With airs of resignation, the actors resumed their positions on the set, the film crew readjusted the cameras, and the trainers repositioned the dragons and hurriedly darted off the set. "And…action!"

As the cameras began rolling, Hiccup spoke. "Okay, let's mount up and get back to the edge before that thing comes—"

At that moment Toothless suddenly started chasing his tail, destroying the mood of the scene and nearly hitting Hiccup in the head.

"Cut!" Sullivan shouted as the trainers rushed onto the set to calm the dragon down. "What's gotten into him? Is he sick?"

"Oh, he's just getting bored. He wants something to do."

"Well he'll get something to do once we start shooting the fight scene, but first we've gotta get this scene shot!"

"I know that, but you can't explain that to an animal and expect them to understand!" the trainer yelled as she struggled to restrain Toothless.

"Here, how about you take him for a walk around the studio; see if that'll calm him down. We don't really need him for these particular shots. Just come back in 10 minutes, all right?"

"Sure thing, T.J. Come on, Toothless, do you wanna get some fresh air?" she spoke as if talking to a dog.

"All right," Sullivan said, "Let's get these done so when they come back we can move onto shots that'll keep Toothless occupied. Ready? And…action!"

But they had not spoken a single line when loud shouts were heard from off the set, prompting Sullivan to shout "Cut!" again. "What's going on over there? We're on a tight schedule here and we don't—oh good grief, Ruff, Tuff, what have I told you about fighting off camera?"

"He started it," Ruffnut swore.

"You &^%*%# cow, you started it!" Tuffnut shouted back.

"Didn't!"

"Did!"

"Didn't!"

"Didn't start what?" demanded the Director.

"He said William Dorrit's death occurred in Installment 17, when any fool knows it was in Installment 16! I could prove him wrong in an instant if I had my copy of Little Dorrit with me!"

"No you couldn't!"

"You guys are fighting over when a guy dies in a Charles Dickens novel?" The Director said incredulously.

"I thought everyone died in Dickens novels," Astrid remarked from the set.

"Nope! Hey Astrid, do you think Lucie Darnay is the worst Dickensian heroine? I sure think so. She's called an angel too many times and she's as bland as a brick!"

"Well I think she's one of the best!" Tuffnut interrupted his sister, "And A Tale of Two Cities is a great book!"

"I hate it," Ruffnut growled, "Dickens messed up everywhere with that one,"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Oooh, you think you're so smart and clever, huh? Your very throat is moral, eh, Miss Pecksniff? Always affable and not a bit of pride? Hah!" Nobody but Ruffnut understood a thing he was talking about.

"Well you don't know the first thing about Tittlebats!" Nobody but Tuffnut understood a thing she was talking about.

"Neither do you, you pompous little geek!"

"That's not a Dickensian insult!"

"That's because it's a Tuffnutian insult!"

"Oh, there are those things now?"

"Will you two cut it out?" shouted Sullivan.

"Yeah, guys, we're trying to shoot this scene!" Hiccup yelled from the set, where he had been tapping his foot impatiently.

"I want to take these stupid contacts out!" Astrid moaned, "couldn't we just CGI my eyes to look blind?"

"We don't have the budget," Sullivan said glumly, "management likes to cut costs any way they can,"

"What?" Astrid exclaimed, "We're a big series and they want it done cheaply?"

"I know, Astrid, I know, I've tried to talk with them a million times, I've told them 'you get what you pay for' and the like, but they won't give me anything and tell me I'm lucky to have what I get,"

"Ooh! Just like the Workhouse Board did to Oliver Twist!" Tuffnut said excitedly.

"And because we're on a tight budget, we've got to get these scenes shot fast! So, let's get on with it!" Sullivan resumed the director's chair. "All right, quiet on the set! Hiccup, Astrid, you two ready? Right…and…action!"

Hiccup took Astrid by the shoulders. "Look, obviously I can't even imagine what this...I can't even imagine what my line is, I am so sorry!"

"Cut!"

"I'm sorry, T.J., I'm sorry, can I just see the script again?" Hiccup said, trying not to look embarrassed, "all right—'I can't even imagine what this must be like for you, you're, well, you're Astrid, you're strong and invincible'—right, I've got it, let's do this,"

"At least you can actually see the script," Astrid muttered, "I can barely see you and you're right in front of me!"

The Director called for action again. Hiccup flubbed his lines again. They tried a third time and he still messed up. So Sullivan told someone to prepare some cue-cards for him.

"I heard this worked for Marlon Brando all the time,"

Astrid snorted, "Right, because you're the next Marlon Brando!"

"Hey! I'm a pretty good actor!"

"Nicholas Nickleby was a good actor too!" Ruffnut said dreamily. "And he had such a way with words…"

Sullivan shouted into his megaphone, "All right, let's try this again. And…action!"

"Look, obviously I can't even imagine what this must be like for you. You're, well, you're Astrid. And I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse,"

"CUT! Hiccup!"

"Sorry, I couldn't resist!" he laughed.

"It was an offer he couldn't refuse." Astrid sniggered.

"Would you two please—?"

"All right, T.J., all right, we'll be seriously this time." Hiccup said soothingly. They started again. His eyes moved to the cue-cards infrequently. "Look, obviously I can't even imagine what this must be like for you. You're, well, you're Astrid. You've got the hottest body in the whole—wait a minute!"

"CUT!" Sullivan screamed.

"That wasn't my fault!" Hiccup yelled at once, "I was just reading the cue-card!"

"Who wrote that cue-card? Snotlout, have you been pulling pranks again?"

Snotlout Jorgenson, who was standing off camera, was howling with laughter. "Did you like that, Astrid?"

"When I can actually see you again I'm going to kill you!" she roared. She was not mad about what the cue-card had read; she was mad because it meant another delay which meant she had to keep those irritating contacts in longer.