A/N Hi guys! Yes, it's really me! It's been quite a while, huh? Unfortunately my motivation to write deserted me for a few months on all my stories (which was extremely irritating when I have so many on the go) but this one suddenly flared to life. Hooray!

After a few requests for one, this is a Bucky PoV. When I saw that it was Sebastian Stan's birthday today I knew it was a sign that I had to get this chapter finished and up for you all. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to respond to your reviews this time but a HUGE thank you to you all, as always.

So, here's the longest chapter yet to make up for the long wait...


Bucky rapped on the door anxiously. He felt bad for the earliness of the hour - especially when there was probably nothing to worry about - but he found he was past the limit of his self-restraint.

Steve opened the door after a couple of seconds, thankfully not looking at all sleep-addled which (thanks to the months they had worked alongside each other) Bucky knew to be one of the benefits of the serum his best friend had been injected with. Steve's expression showed surprise for only a moment before his gaze became concerned. "Buck, what is it? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry for waking you," Bucky began but his friend waved his hand, showing that his comment wasn't necessary. "It's Hermione," Bucky revealed, too caught up in his own unease to notice Steve's posture become the smallest bit wary and defensive at the name of his wife. "She hasn't come home," he explained.

"Where did she say she was going before she went out?" Steve asked. "How long did she say she'd be?"

Bucky shook his head. "That's just it: I haven't seen her since we got back."

Surprise, confusion and concern flitted across Steve's face along with a couple of emotions Bucky wasn't confident in identifying but at least Steve now knew why Bucky was so concerned: they had arrived back in London not long after midday but it was now less than an hour away from dawn.

"Have you always been able to find her straight away before now?" Steve asked.

"Within a couple of hours," Bucky replied. "It's not like she knows when I'm due to be back and she keeps herself busy, so I tried all her usual haunts but there was no sign. I figured it was best to wait for her to turn up at home…" His voice trailed off as his mind conjured up a variety of alarming explanations for his wife's absence just like it had all evening. He shook his head and refocused his gaze on his best friend. "What do I do, Steve?"

Uncertainty pulled Steve's mouth down into a frown. "I don't… I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, Buck," his said, his voice and demeanour becoming more assertive. "I'll come back with you to Hermione's lodgings - we'll discuss strategies on the way. She might have even turned up by the time we get there. She's capable of looking after herself, you know that - it's why she's able to look after so many others too." Steve smiled reassuringly at him but Bucky didn't even attempt to return it. Hermione was able to look after herself but he knew that there were bad people here in London, not just over on the continent. If someone with ill intentions decided to attack Hermione when she was on her own then Bucky didn't see there was much she could do to stop them.

As they crossed through the dark streets, Bucky told Steve that when he had spoken to some of the other residents of Hermione's building, none of them could recall seeing her for a few days. "But apparently that's not out of the ordinary," Bucky added.

"Oh, well, that's good news, isn't it?" Steve said.

"Is it?" Bucky responded doubtfully. "Somehow I don't find the revelation that my wife frequently stays away from home for days at a time to be of great comfort."

It was too dark to see the expression on Steve's face but his tone was even and calm when he replied, "If she has had longer absences from home before then she's always come back safely from them, hasn't she? This time will be no different, I'm sure of it."

"And the reason behind those long absences?" Bucky asked before he could stop himself. His voice sounded bitter and suspicious and he disliked himself greatly for the feelings that coursed through his body and his inability to control his emotions.

"The neighbours might be mistaken, Buck," Steve pointed out. "Hermione doesn't strike me as the type to make a lot of noise at home so I doubt they truly know when she's there or not." Bucky's silence expressed his view that this argument didn't stand to reason. If it had just been one of the building's occupants to make the claim then that would be one thing, but it had been a handful and all of them lived close enough to Hermione to have knowledge of her comings and goings.

"And if they're not mistaken?" Bucky pressed.

"If they're not mistaken," Steve began, still sounding calm, "there's bound to be a perfectly reasonable explanation."

"Then why has she never mentioned it before?" Bucky asked, his voice much louder than was advisable at that time and location. His mistrust had been creeping through him during the hours he had been waiting, alone, for Hermione to return but he had managed to dismiss the doubts and suspicions that plagued him. Now that he was forced to speak of what he had learned, a chink had been exposed in his stoicism and his turmoil was being released from within him: his body and, in particular, his heart, experiencing a burning pain that he was unaccustomed with.

Steve stopped and gripped Bucky's arm, his face showing concern for his friend. "I know that you're worried for Hermione's safety but there's no point getting yourself riled up when you don't even know what's happened."

"Do you?" Bucky asked heatedly, shoving his arm away.

Steve's brows drew together in confusion. "Buck, what are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about," Bucky accused angrily. "Hermione's secret - the part of her she won't tell me about - you know about it."

Steve held his gaze for a couple of seconds and then looked away with an unmistakably guilty air, giving Bucky a sickening sense of triumph. Since the revelation that Hermione was hiding something from him on the day they had finally become engaged, they had never discussed the matter, but nor had they had to because Hermione had never given him a reason to doubt or worry for her.

Until now.

"I don't know where Hermione is," Steve insisted slowly. "Do you honestly think I'd let you fret and get yourself worked up if I did?"

"I don't know what you know," Bucky sighed in frustration. "I don't know anything!" Had he been foolish to marry a woman who was openly hiding something from him? He had followed his heart where Hermione was concerned from the moment he'd met her and, though things were far from perfect with the war raging around them, had he allowed himself to be swept along by his love and left reason far behind him? "Am I an idiot?" he asked out loud.

"Of course not," Steve maintained.

"She said I could trust her; that I had nothing to worry about," Bucky muttered, thinking back to their conversation outside the Crown before he had gotten on one knee and proposed properly.

"Her absence might have nothing to do with that," Steve pointed out but instead of his words having a reassuring effect, Bucky glanced at him sharply.

"But it might have something to do with her absence?" he asked, the bottom of his stomach falling away with dread.

Steve let out a sound of frustration. "There could be any number of reasons why Hermione isn't at home, Buck." Bucky stayed silent and simply watched him. Once again Steve broke the eye contact. "I don't know what you want me to say," Steve murmured after looking at the ground for a few moments.

Bucky waited no longer than a single beat of his heart. "I want you to tell me what you know."

Steve grimaced. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Do you not remember what she did tell you: the information is restricted. My knowledge stems from little more than an accidental set of circumstances - she'd much prefer I was wholly unaware, believe me."

Nothing that Steve had said was making Bucky feel any better. In fact, the revelation that Steve's knowledge of Hermione's hidden life was down to nothing more than chance felt like a blow to the gut.

"But if you were never meant to know, why can't I know?" Bucky asked through gritted teeth. "She's my wife!"

Steve looked around them in response to Bucky's raised voice and pulled him along the road to continue their journey to Hermione's lodgings. "We shouldn't talk about this in the middle of the street," he advised lowly.

"Well, where are we supposed to talk about it, huh?" Bucky roared, shoving Steve away from him. "Tell me when we can discuss you keeping secrets about my wife from me."

"Look, I know you're upset - " Steve said calmly, holding his hands up placatingly, but this only irritated Bucky further.

"Don't tell me how I feel," he retorted furiously. "How can you possibly know what this is like: to have the woman you love hiding things from you, not know where she's been going, not knowing if she's coming back and there being nothing you can do about it!" That torrent that had been swirling inside him now felt like it was choking him and he struggled to draw breath.

How had his life fallen apart in the space of a few hours? When they'd arrived back in London, he'd wanted nothing more than to sweep Hermione up into his arms and bask in her love for a few hours. She was the absolute light in his life and she made everything that had happened the moment before he met her seem dull and faded. He'd always prided himself for having a way with the ladies without falling himself but this beautiful, intelligent, independent woman wasn't particularly susceptible to his usual charms and he was the one that had fallen, and fallen hard.

He'd always planned on falling in love one day but he hadn't realised how vulnerable it left you, how much it could hurt you and make you say or do things that you never thought you were capable of…

His anger left him in a rush, leaving him hollow and ashamed. He ran a hand down his haggard face and tried to stop his shoulders from shaking. "I'm sorry," he choked out. He felt Steve grip his arm bracingly and guilt swirled through him at the way he'd lashed out at his best friend - the one person who'd been a constant support in his life from the start.

"It's OK, Buck," Steve said reassuringly. "We'll find her. Come on." He gave Bucky a gentle push in the direction of Hermione's lodgings and this time he followed numbly.

The first rays of sunshine were just starting to lighten the sky when they approached the building in contemplative silence. A few vehicles and people had passed them in the street as the city woke up and prepared for a brand new day. Bucky had seen and heard it all before but he felt strangely disconnected to the world around him - how could things carry on as normal when his life was in such turmoil? They passed a couple of other residents as they climbed the stairs but Bucky could only nod at them when they greeted him. A small flicker of hope burned within him as he unlocked the door, praying that Hermione was already home.

She wasn't and Bucky's fractured heart crumbled into pieces.


The police were called.

It was the most sensible thing to do when they didn't know where to start looking for her.

The constable who turned up to take some details about her disappearance didn't look overly impressed when Bucky told him that he didn't know how long his wife had been missing for or have much of an idea where she could be. The officer's demeanour wasn't much improved when Bucky could only offer vague details of Hermione's sporadic freelance work and next to nothing about her family or her life before she'd met him.

"And has your wife ever gone missing before?" the constable asked as he made some jottings in a notebook.

Bucky felt a hot flush of uncertainty race through him. "Never when I've been here," he replied, "but the neighbours informed me that she is sometimes away for days at a time when I'm with my unit."

The constable glanced up sharply at this and stared at Bucky for a while before his mouth turned down in an expression of sympathy. "I see," he muttered, scribbling a couple more words into his book. "And Mrs Barnes has never mentioned the absences before?"

"No..."

Bucky glanced up at Steve and caught the grave expression on his friend's face before he had the chance to change it to something more positive.

"I think I'd better have a word with these neighbours myself," the officer said, rising from his seat and nodding his head politely at the two soldiers. Bucky followed so as to open the door for the constable but before he could it was opened from the other side and the light was restored to Bucky's life.

He only had time to see Hermione's face become surprised at the sight of them all before he had rushed forwards and embraced her tightly, eager as he was to prove that she was really there and not just a figment of his imagination.

"Bucky!" she gasped, staggering slightly as his desperation knocked her off balance.

"Thank God," he murmured and then pulled back to look at her, to check she was alright. "I was so worried."

Her confused expression transformed as she realised what was behind his behaviour. "Because I wasn't here?" she asked, holding her hand against his cheek. He nodded. "Oh, my heart, I'm so sorry. I'm fine, I promise you: I was just helping people a little further away than normal."

Bucky wrapped her in his arms again and felt all the tension of the last few hours drain away as her presence soothed his soul.

The police constable cleared his throat and Bucky reluctantly pulled away from his wife. "I'm glad everything seems to be resolved," the officer said, replacing the helmet atop his head and tucking his notebook away.

Bucky held out his hand and the constable shook it. "Thank you for coming. I'm sorry we took up your time."

"Not at all, sergeant," he replied and then tipped his hat at Steve and Hermione as he left. "Captain, Mrs Barnes."

"I should be going too," Steve said, walking towards the door. "I'm pleased you're back safely, Hermione," he told her but something in his tone seemed off to Bucky.

"Steve," he called and his best friend stopped in the doorway. "I'm sorry about earlier; I shouldn't have taken my emotions out on you."

"It's fine, Buck," Steve replied, but he still didn't sound like his usual self. Before Bucky could say anything further, Steve left, throwing an unconvincing, "See you later," over his shoulder as he went.

Hermione curled her arm around Bucky's waist and looked up at him in confusion. "What was that about? Did you and Steve fall out?"

Bucky didn't reply. He couldn't remember the last time he and Steve had had a proper argument - it was probably when they were just kids - and the possibility that his irate words had caused a rift between them for the first time in years made him feel sick.

"Bucky," Hermione pressed. "What happened?"

Should he tell her? Doing so would reveal his insecurities about Hermione and her secrets. He prided himself on being strong in all senses of the word. Worrying and harbouring suspicions over the secrets Hermione was openly and regrettably hiding from him would only show him to be weak and lacking in faith. He didn't think he could bear to see the look on her face as she realised he was a lesser man than the one she thought she'd married.

But if didn't voice his concerns, he feared they would eat him up inside, flaring up every time he left her to return to the war; that suspicion would poison his brain whenever Hermione did something different to her normal routine; that he would kill their love… He'd seen for himself how a loveless marriage affected everyone around it and that prompted him to speak up, to trust in the bond he had with Hermione.

"When you didn't come home, I asked some of the other residents if they knew where you were," he began, extricating himself from her embrace and positioning himself so that he could see her clearly. "Some of them told me that you often seemed to stay away for days at a time. I didn't know what to think and it, it got twisted in my brain the more I thought about it." Hermione was watching him intently with her soulful brown orbs and she reached out to clutch his fingers in her own. "In the end, I went to Steve to ask his advice and on the way back here I accused him of knowing what was behind your disappearance."

Her eyebrows rose sharply up her forehead. "Why would Steve know anything?" she asked incredulously.

"Because…" Bucky began nervously and then forced himself onwards, "because he knows about your secret."

"Oh," Hermione said and then sighed. "I see."

"When he couldn't confirm that it didn't have anything to do with your disappearance, I tried to get him to tell me what he knew but he refused," Bucky continued heavily, realising just how incredibly weary he was. "I got angry and said things that I shouldn't have."

Hermione removed her hands from his and a jolt panic rushed through him but then she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his chest. Surprised and relieved, so relieved, he felt himself struggling to contain his emotions again. "I'm sorry," he choked out.

"Why are you apologising to me?" she asked, sounding bewildered.

"I doubted you," he confessed breathlessly, bearing his turmoil, "I let suspicion rule my actions and my heart. I let you down."

Hermione lifted her head and pulled his face down to hers, kissing him soothingly. "You have not let me down," she told him emphatically, resting her forehead against his. He made a noise of protest at her words but she silenced him with another kiss and he drank her in eagerly, wishing that what she said was true. Bucky lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist, increasing the intimacy. He wanted to lose himself in her; forget everything about the past few hours and just embrace everything she could give him.

Hermione moved her head back from his and he eagerly kissed a line down her throat. "Bucky," she gasped as his mouth moved lower. "Bucky," she repeated and he looked up. She was crying. The fire that had been racing in his veins cooled immediately.

"What- " he began, heart hammering in his chest.

She brought a hand to his face, her fingers tracing the dark circles under his eyes and the stubble on his jaw. "My heart," she whispered the term of endearment, sounding pained, "what have I done to you? What have I done to us?" She pushed at him gently and he numbly returned her feet to the ground. "I thought that admitting I had a secret was the answer, that it would allow me to have everything on my terms." She turned away from him but he heard her murmur, "How could I be so selfish?"

Bucky caught her arm before she could go far. "Don't say that. You've been as honest with me as you can if your secret is restricted." She didn't turn back to him and his heart clenched painfully at her avoidance. "Right?" he probed, terrified to be even voicing the question. She didn't answer and all his previous fears flared up just like he knew they would. "Hermione…" An icy dagger had lodged itself in his chest but he somehow found the courage to carry on. "Where have you been these last few days?"

She looked at him over her shoulder and he saw that tears still streamed from her eyes. "I was helping people," she replied firmly but that wasn't enough of an answer and they both knew it.

"Why have you never told me that you stay away from home for days at a time?" he asked, trying to keep calm.

She swallowed thickly. "I didn't want you to worry," she admitted quietly.

"Why would I worry about you helping others?" he asked flatly. She didn't answer. He took a deep breath. "Since we became we engaged, have you ever lied to me?"

She pressed her lips together for a moment and then said softly, "If I have it's only been to protect you."

"Protect me?" Bucky said, throwing his hands up in frustration at all the half-answers she was giving him. "What do I need protection from? You said that what you were hiding was nothing to worry about, you promised on your heart," he said emotively, walking round to point at the offending organ. "Well, Hermione, this is pretty damn worrying!"

"Bucky, please," she begged tearfully, clutching at her chest, but whatever she was asking for he wasn't prepared to hear.

"You said you've lied to protect me and I can accept that because I'd do the same for you if it was necessary, but I will always be honest and open with you at every opportunity," he stated, heart in his mouth. "Why do I get the feeling you're keeping more from me than you need to?"

Hermione wrapped her arms around herself, her chest rising and falling rapidly. But, ultimately, she said nothing, devastating Bucky's heart. He turned away from her as his world crumbled away.

"Bucky," she began but he cut across her gruffly.

"Do you not trust me?"

"Of course I do!" she cried tearfully.

"Then why?" he yelled, whirling round to face her again. "Why choose to hide things from me?"

"It's not that simple!" she moaned, her eyes imploring him to understand.

But he couldn't.

"Let me know when things clear up," he muttered and walked past her.

"You're leaving?" she gasped.

"I need some air," he replied, not bothering to look back at her.

"Bucky…"

Her unasked question hung in the air between them: was he going to come back?

Truthfully, he didn't know.

After having paused for a moment, he reached out to open the door.

"Bucky," she said again, more urgently, but he ignored her.

The door handle suddenly flew out of his grasp and the door slammed shut with a loud bang. Blaming the incident on a freak gust of wind, he reached for the handle again but no matter how hard he tugged it remained closed.

"Bucky."

There was something different in her voice this time that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He turned around.

Hermione look terrified but determined as she pointed a long, slender item in his direction.

"I'm," she said breathlessly and licked her lips, "I'm a witch."


A/N So, instead of addressing the drama from the previous chapter, I just throw a whole new thread of it in there instead! Obviously, Steve's self-revelation from last time has not been forgotten.

Let me know what you guys think! Are you loving all the drama? Did you see that revelation from Hermione coming? Looking forward to the next chapter?

Lots of love,

Red