Hi!

I know I'm a slow updater these days - sorry, but here's another chapter.

He's lying on his back on the couch in the attendings' lounge, one arm flung over his face, something digging into his back, waiting for them to leave.

Which they seem to be taking their sweet time doing.

"Shepherd, you're making it too easy for me," Burke teases. "There won't be any lying around on couches when I'm Chief."

"Good, then it's a long way off." Mark quips, and they share a smirk behind Burke's retreating back. Addison, for some reason, looks very pleased.

"When I'm Chief, you can lie around all day." Mark is saying, helping himself to his coffee. "And you'll look good doing it."

Either Addison's neuroses have rubbed off on the man or she's put him up to this.

Why can't she just leave him alone?

"Did I mention I like the facial hair? Not too much, not-"

"What do you want, Mark?" he asks, sparing him the agony of having to come up with compliments.

"What?" he asks, looking convincingly confused. "I can't compliment my best friend?"

"I'm not your friend," he reminds him, feeling petty. Petty feels good right now, watching Addison pin an unfamiliar ring to her scrub top. "And I think we're past you having to ask me for permission for anything - you slept with my wife, after all."

"Derek." she says, turning slightly towards him so he can see half her frown.

"What? I get to remind you of it. It's my eternal right, after I walked in on you two-"

"Okay," she says hastily, slamming her locker closed. "But-"

"Shut up, Addison." he advises her. "We're not married anymore, I don't have to listen to what you say."

He feels a little bit guilty at the hurt in her eyes, but he supposes she owes him that, and then some.

So it's okay.

And it feels good, to make someone else feel a little piece of what he's feeling.

Addison stalks out of the room, leaving heavy silence behind her. Derek shifts slightly on the couch, ignoring him or maybe just hoping he'll go away.

But he's not - he can't - not now that he's promised Addison he'll help her with her harebrained scheme.

Because in his extremely vast experience, making Derek Shepherd happy is a task for a saint - which neither he or Addie have ever been or will ever be - it requires monumental patience and understanding and a temper that doesn't explode at the slightest provocation.

So he recalls the words of his overpaid shrink and takes a few deep breaths before he approaches the prone figure.

"Hey Derek, I was thinking maybe we could-"

"You were thinking?" he says, managing to sound incredulous through his pillow. "Maybe you could have done a bit of that back when you screwed my wife in-"

"Will you shut the hell up?" he snaps back, yanking the pillow off Derek's face. "Let me say my piece, okay?"

His miserable face contorts into something resembling a smirk. "Addison put you up to this, didn't she?"

"What?" he stumbles, cursing himself for being so obvious. Or maybe it's just that Derek knows him so well. Knows both of them so well. "No. No, of course not."

"What did she threaten you with?" he grins lazily, stretching his arms. "Wait- I don't want to hear it. Maybe she'll kill you and get arrested and I'll be shot of the both of you."

"Dr. Grey," she says pleasantly. It might have come out a little high pitched, though, judging by the way Karev is looking at her.

"Dr. Montgomery." she says, looking mildly curious.

"Sloan," Karev grins, gesturing to the ring pinned to her top. "Congratulations, . On your...engagement. And winning you be-"

"Thank you, Karev." she says before the whole scrub room has to hear about the sex bet.

"How's your blood pressure?" he whispers as they're scrubbing in next to each other, and she can feel her cheeks turn traitorous pink.

"It's fine, thank you." she replies curtly.

"Are you not feeling well?" Grey asks, sounding concerned. "Should I get someone to cover for you?"

"No!" she yelps, almost brushing a hand against the wall. "I mean, no, I'm fine, I -"

She stops short when she sees Karev walk through the glass doors quaking with silent laughter.

"Believe me, she's fine." he calls over his shoulder as he slides his arms into a gown.

"I'm fine." she assures Meredith, who by now just looks tired. "Let's go."

"You're a horrible person." he says bluntly. "Like, really awful. As bad as Archer."

"Hey," Derek protests. "I don't sleep with everything that has a double X chromosome. Unlike Archer and you."

There's a pause where Derek's mouth hangs open and he waits for him to close it so he can punch him without dislocating his jaw.

That would be nice, though.

But then he says "Not anymore, I guess."

"Not anymore." he agrees.

"Mark Sloan, manwhore extraordinaire," he sighs. "Engaged. To my wife."

"Ex-wife." he reminds him, wondering if they'll always be this intertwined. Not that he's sure he'd want it any other way.

"Ex." he agrees, sitting up and reclaiming his pillow. "But not...ex- friend?"

"Not unless you want it to be."

"I don't." he says heavily, and knowing him, it probably took a week's reserve of courage to say it.

"So we're not exes," he says.

"No."

"Good." he says carefully,wondering where they go from here. He should have let Addison handle this part, she's better with emotions and stuff like that.

"Good." Derek echoes.

"Yeah."

"Clamp." she says as coolly as she can while blood is spattering her front, and it's instantly in her hand.

"The vessels are really friable," Meredith says tentatively as she starts ligating, staring at the massively ugly tumor they've spent the last three hours with. "Should we be-"

"I definitely should," she says, looking at Meredith over her mask. "You're free to decide for yourself."

She cuts her eyes to Karev, semi-attentive in front of the fetal monitor. "What about you, Karev, got somewhere else you'd rather be?"

"I don't." he says in a tone that suggests that she might.

This one really needs to be taken down a peg or three, but she'll launch that campaign after she's gotten Derek back with his little intern.

Although said intern looks fairly droopy right now, clutching a suction tube, eyes bleary.

Derek has that effect on people.

Although when he tries, he can really-

Surgery. Long difficult but pretty routine surgery, she reminds herself.

A lot is hinging on this surgery going well- the patients life, mostly, but also phase two of her plan.

She thought they could call it Operation MerDer, but Mark laughed so hard he almost fell off the bed.

He did make it up to her though.

"I'm getting decels." Karev says.

"What's the lower limit for a fetal heart rate?" she asks, looking at Meredith.

"She's at 20 weeks, which means... 140?"

"Are you asking me?" she says silkily, giving Meredith that piercing look he's been on the receiving end of way too many times now.

"140." she says more firmly and Montgomery looks appeased.

"I'm almost done here anyway," she's saying now, eyeing the scans on the lightboard, making sure she's got clean margins. "Meredith, how would you like to close?"

"Me?"

"Unless Karev has changed his name to Meredith, then yes, you."

She thought this girl had fire, a little something that made Derek pick her. Now...well, now she's just a soggy mess.

Damn Derek.

"Go ahead," she says, more gently this time. "I'm right here if you need me."

"Can I do it?" Karev asks, rising from his stool like an eager little puppy.

She pins him back down with a glare. She trying to get Meredith with Derek - her ex husband might have changed a lot in the past year, but she's pretty sure Karev still isn't his type.

"O-kay," Grey is saying. "5-0 prolene please."

She's got good hands, she notes. Steady, even if the rest of her isn't.

She'll be a good surgeon. Maybe she should call off the plan...

"I'm...glad we're friends." he says. God, he sounds lame.

The things he does for Addison...

"Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we please be normal?"

"Yeah," he says, relief flooding his body. "I was just saying, maybe we could go out, get a drink, like we used to?"

"Joe's?"

"At eight."

"Mark..."

What now.

"..you're happy, right?" He's asking. "With her. She makes you happy."

"She does," he says slowly, not sure if it's okay to discuss this yet. But she him happy, like, sick dizzy walking-on-clouds happy.

Like he has everything he's ever wanted, like nothing can ever touch this feeling.

"Don't...hurt her.".Derek says softly, rising to his feet. "And don't let her get away with shit."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Derek actually smiles as he walks away. Maybe Addison was right after all.

"Done!" Meredith says, sounding surprised.

"And well done." she smiles even though she won't see it.

She can feel Karev staring at her, and she studiously ignores him as they scrub out, Meredith babbling incessantly, some sparkle back in her eyes.

"Why'd you do that?" he asks, almost civil, as Meredith bounds ahead of them.

"What?" she asks, trying to sound innocent.

"Y'know," he mumbles, suddenly shy. "That."

He jerks a thumb at Meredith, who positively beaming as she reaches for the patient's chart.

"I figured she needed a little... reaffirmation." she shrugs, relieved that her plan seems to be working.

"Yeah," he says fervently. "Thanks."

"You're...welcome."

Huh. Polite Karev. She must remember to check the moon tonight- she has a feeling it might be blue.

"Thanks." Meredith says a little huskily, shuffling her feet. "For letting me..."

"No problem," she replies breezily. "And as congratulations for the best sutures I've seen from an intern in a while... how about I buy you a drink tonight?"

"It seems to be what everyone around here does when they're happy," she explains, feeling a little foolish at the look on the younger woman's face.

"Also when they're sad," she says finally, relaxing into a smile that makes her pale eyes warm up a bit. "Or mad, or-"

"All the time, really." she finishes, smiling. "Joe's at eight fine with you?"

"Yup."

"It's fine with me too," Karev whispers so only she can hear and she refrains from stepping on his toes with great difficulty.

Her phone buzzes against her hip and she opens it to find a text from Mark.

Mission accomplished

She smiles a little- the line was her idea, too.

She texts him back to say she'll be there at eight too.

Now all she needs is for Derek to not be an ass, and her project will be well on its way to success.

I promise I'll be updating my WIPs - especially WWCHB - pretty soon. Thanks for all the sweet reviews you guys keep leaving on them, it makes me realise you haven't lost interest. I haven't either!

This story is going to be pretty lighthearted, no tears or soul crushing confessions or angsty drawn out reunions like my other stuff.

And it's sort of funny how you're another worried I'll kill one - or possibly all - of our babies.I'll try not to.

Mwahaha.

Just kidding.

Mostly.

Review please? They're always worth the wait - see what I did there - but reviewing RIGHT AWAY makes me update reallllyyy fast.

And also, for those still in doubt : THIS IS A MADDISON FIC THAT HAS MERDER MIXED INTO IT.I REPEAT, THERE IS A SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF MERDER. AND CONSIDERABLY MORE MADDISON CAUSE I'M WEIRD LIKE THAT.

Thank you.And now go review, you can do it in shouty capitals if you want. And feel free to leave me some suggestions as to what you want to see re:MerDer in this story; I'm a bit new to these two so I don't know what you might like.

Not that I always do what you like.

Annnd... this has been a shamefully long A/N I know about half of you will not read.

I love you anyway.