"Now, I know that this may seem pretty sudden, but I… Well, I've been feeling this way for so long now. So, so long. I've tried to reach you to talk to you about it, but, of course, well… you never answer. I guess it's to be expected, it has been years. And, um, I-I get it. You don't care about me anymore, I mean, I made so many mistakes, so why should you? I'd be surprised if you even ever read any of my letters. I'm sure you just throw them away, or burn them.

"I-I want to believe that you're just not receiving them, and that something's wrong with the mail, or that you moved, but I… I know that you're just ignoring me. I don't blame you. I… I-I could never blame you. If it wasn't for me… Well, you and everyone else sure would be a lot happier, huh? I-I was stupid. One of our friends even died because I was so stupid. If I was just paying attention, and not being so stupidly happy… She would still be here. And you and all the others wouldn't blame me for her death, e-even if your blame isn't falsely put onto me. It still hurts – I mean, w-we were friends too, you know? I thought I was important too, but, I mean, um, I guess not?"

The filly took a deep breath, trying to gather herself. A false smile was plastered to her face, quivering madly. Tears had stained the pink fur of her cheeks, and she struggled to keep her voice as bubbly as she could in the letter, trying not to let her façade waver. Even in pain, she never wanted to make those whom she still considered her friends sad. Laughter was her element, after all, and she still craved seeing other ponies smile, especially after being shunned like she was. Bags were deep and dark beneath her eyes, and she was thinner than she used to be. Sleep, cake and sweets had lost their charm.

"U-Um, anyways. I'm sorry that this is taking so long. I-I hope you get this letter. And I hope, um… I hope that you actually read it. I-It's going to be the last one, I promise! I'm sure that'll make you happy."

A few droplets of water fell onto the letter, smearing a few letters. She raised a hoof and wiped her tears from her face, though it was to no avail, since they were incessant.

"A-After she died, and after you all started ignoring me, I-I left. I know you know that I did, but… Well, when I did, I stopped feeling after a while. The only lingering feelings I've still got are, um, not very like me. I don't like them. I don't like always feeling sad, and feeling regret. Sometimes, especially lately, I don't e-even feel anything at all! Isn't that funny!"

She bit her bottom lip. This was so much harder than she thought it would be.

"W-Well, anyways. I'm sorry that this is taking so long to get across. Really, I really super-duper hope you read this one. Even if you don't respond, just, please, please read it. I-I know I already said it, but, um, this is the last letter I'm sending. I-I won't, um, be able to send more after tonight.

"What I'm going to do is incredibly selfish. M-My biggest mistake ever, besides accidentally causing her death when she saved me. But, um, even though it is selfish, I don't think anyone will care! Or, um, I think it'll make you all happy! I hope you guys smile. This is the last thing I could think of doing, after all, and I've always been nothing but fun and laughs, you know that!"

She took a deep breath.

"Again, I'm sorry that this is such a long and repetitive letter, and I really hope you read it. This is, um, goodbye! I'm not going to, well, um, w-well… I won't be around anymore after tonight. When you get this letter, I'll be, um… Gone. So you won't have to worry about me anymore, if you have been worried, and you won't have to be mad that she died and I didn't.

"I know you'll never forgive me for causing her death. I don't blame you! I-I just hope you're all doing well, and that you'll be happy after finding out I'm gone. And, if you are sad that I'm gone, don't be! It's not your fault. I'm the one who decided on this. I-I might regret it later, sure, but… I just can't think of any other path to go down anymore. There is no more future that I can see, even with my weird senses and my crystal ball."

A real smile spread across her face and she chuckled for a split moment upon remembering when her "unscientific" senses were questioned by her then-unicorn friend. Even if her friends had hurt her badly, she still thought fondly of them, and was fond of the good memories that she did have, even if they left her with incomprehensible sadness after recalling them.

"I was doing fine through these years that we've been apart. I mean, not fine-fine, but fine enough to not, um… Resort to this. This spring has been the worst. And I just can't deal with this… depression. Not anymore. I can't be strong anymore. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of being alive, at the cost of her life. I'm tired of being blamed, and I'm tired of blaming myself. I'm just… tired.

"I've been crying without warning most of the days, recently, even when I wasn't even feeling any feelings! When I am feeling, it's always regret and sorrow. Sometimes I'd sit and wonder if you guys still thought of me, and if you ever worried. I'm sure you didn't, but I still had hoped that you did.

"Again, if you are sad, don't be. This was my choice. A decision I made. It's not your fault that this happened. I just couldn't be strong anymore, and I just couldn't deal with how I felt anymore. I can't deal with remembering the day she died. I can't deal with being alone. So, um… again, goodbye.

"P.S. – Don't forget to smile, even when you're scared or sad! It might not have worked for me, but I'm sure it'll work for you, and help you through really bad times! I love you guys! Goodbye!"

She inhaled and exhaled deeply, signing the end of her letter with "Love, Pinkie Pie." She shakily folded it up and struggled to get it in the envelope, that, unlike all of the others she had sent, wasn't a special color or scented or filled with confetti. She didn't sign the envelope before she went out and dropped it off at the post office. She knew it was wrong to trick them, but she hoped that making it look normal and not having her name on it as the sender would at least get her friends to open it rather than immediately throw it away. Once that task was done, she made her way back to her home, where a rope was already readily strung up. It was a very amateur noose. She hoped it'd do its job, and she hoped it'd hold her weight. She placed a chair beneath it, got onto the chair, and took a deep, deep breath.

"Come on every pony, smile, smile, smile, fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine…"

She lost her balance.