I don't own the Smurfs, or even this article. This was written by someone
I know in our school newspaper. Since I don't want to post his name on the
internet, I can get sued for that, he will be called Bob.
He and one of his friends were having a debate about the Smurfs, when Bob realized how "dangerous" the Smurfs are to small minds. But that is up to debate. I don't actually watch the Smurfs, so my opinion is pretty much worthless here. You can, however, post what you think.
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Editorial
By: [Bob]
I'd like to start off by saying that the views presented in this article are opinions and interpretations, not solid fact. I feel compelled to write on this topic because I see it as perhaps the most controversial issue faced by America today. If each generation has a social injustice it must overcome, then this is ours.
Years ago, when we were all young and much more innocent, there was a TV show that was very popular. It involved small blue guys walking around and getting into a variety of misadventures but always saving the day somehow. Yes, I'm speaking of the Smurfs. Smurfs, why are they so wrong? Think with me and I'll guide you along my path of reasoning.
What do Smurfs represent? Smurfs are small colored people who are forced out into the fields to pick berries by a big white man. This clearly represents that time in our nation's history before the Civil War and the amendments to the Constitution thereafter. This blatant condoning of slavery is targeting America's youth! It must be put to a stop, before our children grow up into the racists we teach them not to be today. Obviously, all our efforts will be for naught if we allow them to watch this show. After all, what child listens to his parents more than to the TV?
Why is Pappa Smurf the only Smurf in red? This is another issue I didn't want to touch upon, but I will in the name of Justice. Pappa Smurf lives in the same house as the only female Smurf.
Red, being a bright flashy color is meant to attract attention. What would parents do if they only realized that their children were watching a "player" work instead of that lovable facade that Pappa Smurf uses to trick us all? Can we allow our daughters to grow up thinking that all they need to be happy in life is a three inch tall "player" in red?
What are Smurfs and smurf berries? At this point I must explain what I purpose we do with the Smurfs. I suggest we keep them contained in a prison until we can ship them to the North Pole. The logic behind it is this: Smurfs are young elves. Without elves you have no toys. Without toys, you have no Santa. Without Santa, you have no Christmas. Without Christmas, you have no Christianity. Obviously, we can't destroy one of the largest faiths in the world over Smurfs, so we should just ship them off to where they belong. Smurf berries were introduced to the United States in 1736 by a group of French explorers. The colonists enjoyed them, but soon banned them due to their mind altering affects. That's right, Smurf berries are a very powerful form of LSD or "acid".
In conclusion, I hope you all enjoyed my essay on why Smurfs are the bane of the United States and should be shipped to the North Pole as soon as possible.
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What do you think?
Bob is the kind of guy that likes to debate about anything and everything, even if it is on irrelevant subject matter. This is probably proof that he has lost his mind.
He and one of his friends were having a debate about the Smurfs, when Bob realized how "dangerous" the Smurfs are to small minds. But that is up to debate. I don't actually watch the Smurfs, so my opinion is pretty much worthless here. You can, however, post what you think.
--------
Editorial
By: [Bob]
I'd like to start off by saying that the views presented in this article are opinions and interpretations, not solid fact. I feel compelled to write on this topic because I see it as perhaps the most controversial issue faced by America today. If each generation has a social injustice it must overcome, then this is ours.
Years ago, when we were all young and much more innocent, there was a TV show that was very popular. It involved small blue guys walking around and getting into a variety of misadventures but always saving the day somehow. Yes, I'm speaking of the Smurfs. Smurfs, why are they so wrong? Think with me and I'll guide you along my path of reasoning.
What do Smurfs represent? Smurfs are small colored people who are forced out into the fields to pick berries by a big white man. This clearly represents that time in our nation's history before the Civil War and the amendments to the Constitution thereafter. This blatant condoning of slavery is targeting America's youth! It must be put to a stop, before our children grow up into the racists we teach them not to be today. Obviously, all our efforts will be for naught if we allow them to watch this show. After all, what child listens to his parents more than to the TV?
Why is Pappa Smurf the only Smurf in red? This is another issue I didn't want to touch upon, but I will in the name of Justice. Pappa Smurf lives in the same house as the only female Smurf.
Red, being a bright flashy color is meant to attract attention. What would parents do if they only realized that their children were watching a "player" work instead of that lovable facade that Pappa Smurf uses to trick us all? Can we allow our daughters to grow up thinking that all they need to be happy in life is a three inch tall "player" in red?
What are Smurfs and smurf berries? At this point I must explain what I purpose we do with the Smurfs. I suggest we keep them contained in a prison until we can ship them to the North Pole. The logic behind it is this: Smurfs are young elves. Without elves you have no toys. Without toys, you have no Santa. Without Santa, you have no Christmas. Without Christmas, you have no Christianity. Obviously, we can't destroy one of the largest faiths in the world over Smurfs, so we should just ship them off to where they belong. Smurf berries were introduced to the United States in 1736 by a group of French explorers. The colonists enjoyed them, but soon banned them due to their mind altering affects. That's right, Smurf berries are a very powerful form of LSD or "acid".
In conclusion, I hope you all enjoyed my essay on why Smurfs are the bane of the United States and should be shipped to the North Pole as soon as possible.
--------
What do you think?
Bob is the kind of guy that likes to debate about anything and everything, even if it is on irrelevant subject matter. This is probably proof that he has lost his mind.