So...I'm not dead in case anyone was wondering...

Weekends. Weekends are just amazeballs…at least that's what they say. Darcy barely remembers the difference between Saturday and Tuesdays anymore because evil apparently doesn't believe in them. It also doesn't believe in the weekend. If evil is awake, then, more often than she cares for, so is Darcy. And today is just one of those times. Apparently, the stupid fucking World Security Council also decided that Darcy doesn't need sleep either because they've gathered, and her presence has been requested-ahem-commanded.

It's three fucking o'clock in the morning, and Darcy has just been called to join the World Security Council for a meeting.

Fucking twatwaffles. She really ought to sic Severus pre-coffee on them sometime. Unfortunately, until then, she's gotta go to the fucking things, or at least log on, and play. At three fucking goddamned o'clock in the morning.

Darcy Adeola Lewis Romanova hates coffee, with a fiery burning passion. She only kinda believes in its existence when it's accompanied with pounds of sugar and chocolate to drown out its foul taste or as a shot to be added to her beloved chai. Everyone knows how much she detests it, but this morning, she goddamn drowns herself in the energy elixir of ew.

She's barely been awake for approximately ten minutes and already she's making headway on large mug number three of the stuff. Yep, already off to a great start today. Damn, if only she'd known that this Liaison position would involve being up at such an ungodly hour, then maybe she would've turned down the position…nah. Who's she kidding? She loves this job, even if it has plenty of issues. Well, at least for this meeting, she doesn't have to dress all professional-like and can get away with being pantless since it's a phone call this time.

The last sips of mug number three and the fourth already brewing, she settles down on her couch and answers the summons, any files and other such things already displayed on one of her screens.

"Alright, J-man, cue me in," she requests. Immediately her profile picture on the screen pops up as active, alerting the rest of the Council that she's online and part of the conversation now.

"Good morning, Ms. Lewis. We apologize for this unscheduled meeting," the Head of MI5 greets, far too chipper for Darcy's current liking.

"Hello, everyone, what's the issue this time?" she replies.

"It's been nearly four years now since the Battle of New York, and, until a few months ago, it had been believed that Loki's scepter had been taken off planet with him, as you know. However, after the fall of SHIELD, files were found that revealed that the scepter had not in fact left earth but was instead under Hydra's supervision, current whereabouts unknown. As the weapon had been classified as a global threat separate from Loki due to its immense power, which has yet to be fully measured, it fell under the Council's jurisdiction," the delegate from Germany expands.

"Yes, and? My Avengers have been searching for it. This is hardly new information, and it is definitely not worth a meeting at three ungodly in the morning," Darcy pushes.

"It seems the scepter has been located. All the information has been uploaded to your screens," the Kenyan representative says.

"We are hoping that, as you previously mentioned the fact your team has already searched for it, it would not be outside the realm of possibility that the Avengers would be able to procure it for us. Specifically, as the expert regarding magic in such capacity, we're requesting that Severus be present on the mission to retrieve the scepter," the Chinese representative requests.

"And that, you decided, was worth waking my ass up at early o'clock? Are we serious right now?" she groans. "You do realize that you could've just called at a more decent time, even with all of the time differences between us, or sent an email, for deity's sake! Jarvis would've let me know it was there in the morning! Honestly, people!" she whines. She flails her arms to express frustration, even if the only one who can see it and appreciate the gesture is Jarvis. "World threatening or even an international crisis, yes, I will most definitely wake up at any time for that with little complaint! Asking my husband to do something that could have waited for a different time, nope, I reserve all the rights to complain then."

"Actually, that was more of a side topic. Our main topic of discussion is the ex-SHIELDRA agent population and how to distribute them evenly among the various agencies."

"Are you serious? I'm not your mother or theirs. I'm not even in such a position that I get any say in that type of decision for that matter. You could have handled this all on your own easily. You're all grown-ups with real power over this. You don't need my unqualified help to figure this out."

"Agencies will listen if you speak. You are in charge of the Avengers, who are not affiliated with one single government. Your team includes a billionaire who owns one of the most well-known and respected companies on Earth. You have a prince who holds your council in very high esteem on your team. agencies will listen if you offer guidance," another delegate says.

"Um, no. Aside from Thor, who is a legitimate not-of-earth alien, ever single Avenger has some tie to the US that is stronger than to any other country that they may be affiliated with. Actually, Thor has a rather nice connection to the US because of Jane, so even that is a moot point. They may not be obviously connected to the US government, but they're all connected to the US in some form. I mean, seriously, there's someone legitimately named Captain America on the team. Worse, it's an American team comprised of players who are almost all racially white, with Hulk being a special case and Thor being an alien with skin the same shade of white people. Secondly, I am not and have never been in charge of the Avengers. Why do you even believe that the agencies will listen to me over someone else far more qualified?"

"You are the point of contact for the Avengers, if you do not manage them as nearly everyone believes. You graduated Sum Cum Laude from Culver University with a Bachelor's in Political Science with an International Development and Theories minor. You have real, in-person experience with situations most could only see on a screen. You have strong ties to not only the Avengers but also the X-men. When you speak, people listen."

"More importantly, agencies listen to you."

"Fine, I will see what I can do, but later. Give me some time. I still have my classes to teach and the Liaison position and everything that comes along with it. I have some contacts that may be useful. I'll see if they have anything that can help. Ex-Deputy Director of SHIELD, Maria Hill, works for Stark Industries now. Perhaps she'll be more help than I would be. Otherwise, you are on your own."

"That is all we can ask for, Ms. Lewis."

"It really is," she can't help but let slip despite the rude tone.

"We will be in contact regarding the Scepter and its retrieval should we find it."

"Well then, thank you all so very much, everyone. I will see you next time, hopefully with more time to prepare. These no warning meetings, fun though they may be, are rather difficult for actually accomplishing more than the theoretical talk. As it is still much too early and even the sun is asleep here, I'm logging off now. Goodbye, everyone. I hope you have a productive day." With that, she ends the connection and slinks back to her nice warm husband in their nice warm bed.

"So, we're sure castration is off the table?" Darcy asks once again just to be extra sure.

"Darling, don't you think that's a bit too harsh?" Severus answers.

"Well, he shouldn't have kids. Besides, you people have that weird growing potion stuff!"

"Darcy, love, as much as I like many of your revenge ideas, I think you may be getting a bit too enthusiastic this time. Perhaps merely the powder and special tea you were thinking of earlier would suffice?"

"Fine," she concedes, though not without having put up a fight.

"Now, with that figured out, all you have to do to determine the best time to do it is…" he starts before being interrupted.

"Erm, excuse me, Ms. Lewis, Professor Snape?" a tiny voice asks from behind them. Severus sighs, obviously immediately recognizing the speaker and none too eager to speak to them now. She gives him an entertained look and pats his arm to let him know that he can leave if it's not too urgent.

"Is this a matter of great importance, Mr. Creevey?" he drawls as the couple turns around to face the student, giving off the aura of the Great Bat of the Dungeons that she knows he's been perfecting for years. They find two students who look to be in Gryffindor, judging by the red and gold of their uniform accents, and one of them looking just a bit older than the other. Both of them look up at her husband with wide, scared, yet revering eyes.

"N-no, sir," the older-looking one stammers.

"Then I shall be off," her husband announces before planting a kiss on her cheek and leaving.

Once her grump is gone, she turns her attention on the students before her. "Alrighty, so what can I do for you two?" she greets.

"Well, we—we were wondering, Ms. if you're-if you've ever been to—if—" the younger of the two stumbles excitedly.

"I'm Colin Creevey, and this is my little brother Dennis. I'm a Third year and he's a Second year. We're both Gryffindors. Oh, and we're Muggleborns too. What he's really trying to ask is if you're her, you see, really truly the Darcy Lewis. The one we see on the telly and in the news! You've got an American accent!" Colin says.

"You look just like her!" Dennis adds helpfully.

"You teach Muggle Studies, which means you know a lot about muggles," Colin chirps. "Some of the others say you even have a Starkphone."

"You're married to Professor Snape—" Dennis pipes in and then gasps loudly as his eyes widen even more with revelation. "Severus Snape isn't a common name at all! Does that mean he's the Severus Snape too? Because there were even some people saying that Tony Stark came here too, even if they're don't really know who that is!"

"Snape-Romanov!" Colin squeaks, lifting to his toes in excitement. "Oh, Merlin, that really was the Black Widow that one day, wasn't it! We just didn't believe it then."

"Are you really them?" the pair of siblings ask at the same time in equally elated voices. "Darcy Lewis, Avengers Liaison! Severus Snape-Romanov, the Wolf Prince of the Avengers!"

Darcy can't help but laugh at their adorableness. "Yep, that's us. Honestly, I'm slightly surprised you two figured it out and barely anyone else has. It's not exactly a secret here. Yep, both Iron Man and the Black Widow have visited recently," she tells them with an entertained smile.

"Wow!" they breathe out together in awed sighs.

"Can we—" Dennis starts.

"Would you mind taking a picture or two with us?" Colin finishes hesitantly.

"Oh, sure. Would you like individual ones or do you want group photos?" Darcy replies easily.

"Could we do both?" Colin suggests. "We could send the one with all of us to our parents! They'll be so surprised that we met the Darcy Lewis, and that she's a teacher too! They didn't believe me when I told them that Professor Snape is really the Avenger, the real Wolf Prince!"

"Well, to be fair, it is rather hard for people to believe my husband is a Potions Master and teacher and an Avenger, that smug overachiever. Now, why not simply use our phones? Or does the magic disable them?"

"The magic keeps them from working right, so we just send mum and dad owls like everyone else."

"This is so cool!" the Creevey brothers cheer.

"C' mon. We can take the pictures in my office so we don't get trampled on by students or other such peoples"

Once inside the office, they decide to take photos on her little couch. A few pictures, they're all sitting on the couch and smiling nicely at the camera. In some shots where it's just one brother, sometimes there are funny faces, and other times, there are photos where she's got an arm around his shoulders and both are waving at the camera. All in all, they have fun.

By the end of their mini photo shoot, the boys are practically buzzing with excitement. "My friends are gonna be so amazed! I got to meet the Darcy Lewis and call the real Wolf Prince my professor! They've never believed me before because I've been too scared to ask him for a picture, but they'll believe me now!" Colin gushes.

"Yeah, thank you, Ms. Darcy!" Dennis chimes as the brothers shuffle out of her office.

She giggles and waves them off. "You're very welcome, you two! You're always welcome to visit for any reason. Provided I'm still at the castle, of course!" she tells them as they leave. The hallways are a bit busy since classes have started letting out, and as she watches the groups of students, her eyes land on a familiar mop of black hair.

"Harry, hey!" Darcy calls as the Fourth Year student walks by. He pauses and looks around for a moment before finding her. He's with Ms. Grangers and Mr. Longbottom, who wave before continuing on while he hurries over to her.

"Ms. Lewis? Did you need something?" he asks hesitantly.

"Do you have a few minutes or an open period? I'd just like to check-in with you. Everything's been pretty crazy for you lately, and I know it can be hard for anyone to process, let alone someone who has as much as you do on their plate," she replies.

He shrugs. "Um, sure. I have a break before my next class," he says. She smiles and ushers him into her office, gently shutting the door behind her to give them some privacy. Only a few days into the term, Severus had made sure to place some very heavy-duty anti-eavesdropping and soundproof charms on her office, given the high amount of sensitive information she deals with at any given moment.

"Feel free to grab a seat. My chairs are pretty comfy and it's a shame when people don't sit on them," she offers as she grabs her mug. He shuffles over to her couch and plops down. "So, tell me, how are you doing? I know life has been plenty hectic for everyone lately." She gets comfy in her seat across from the student, hoping that doing so helps keep the atmosphere casual and welcoming.

"Um…well…so, I'm not in trouble?" Harry asks from his spot, a tilt of his head showing how confused he is at being in her office.

"Nope. Just wanted to catch up with you after everything and after you've had the chance to catch your breath," she chimes with a calming smile.

"Oh, um, I've been doing alright, I suppose," the Fourth year replies. "It's just been a bit much lately, you know."

"Yeah, it's been pretty interesting, huh. So, tell me whatever you'd like. I'm sure you have plenty of things to vent about, and I wanted to give you the space to do that. I highly doubted that you many other outlets elsewhere. Don't worry, anything you say in here will stay in here between the two of us, as long as it doesn't involve harm to yourself or others."

And apparently, that does it because, after only a few more minutes, he's spilling an ocean of emotions and thoughts. As she listens, Darcy notices that he becomes more and more relaxed, and his shoulders soften as though a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. At first, it's a little slow and he tells her little things like how much he enjoys her class but hates her husband's, which only makes her laugh. He tells her how he likes or dislikes the recent weather. Then it gets deeper and Harry's telling her about the most recent rift with his friend Ron, Mr. Weasley, ranting about how he doesn't get why his once-bestie had so little trust in him. He tells her about how he feels about being chosen as a champion even though he'd totally not put his name into the stupid Goblet of Fire. He mentions the worry he has for a newly found godfather. He even talks about the nightmares he's started having, which is something she may be able to have her husband make a potion for.

And Darcy sits and listens through it all, only ever interrupting at appropriate moments.

By the time he's finished, nearly half an hour has passed by. Harry looks both emotionally tired but also rather relieved that he was able to say so much. She sends him an encouraging smile. She's not at all a licensed counselor, but even just an ear to listen can do a world of good. She remembers being this age and just wanting someone to sit and listen. So, once he's finished spilling all he's willing to spill, she starts to chat, touching upon some of the topics he'd said and also simply giving him space to process everything by rambling about anything.

As the time for their next class period (him to attend and her to teach) draws near, he tells her, "Um…thank you, professor, that was nice." To this, she simply says welcome and lets him know that her door is always open.

Then they're parting ways, and she can only hope that her Mr. Gloom and Doom of the Dungeons isn't a complete asshole to his poor students today. She takes a few moments to collect her stuff before heading to her own lovely classroom.

On the way to her class, she passes group after group of students sporting badges that aren't the normal school or House crests she normally sees. No, these particular badges are horrible. They all have some variation of wording that switches between dissing poor Harry and congratulating dear Cedric. Well damn. How the fuck did the creator of such badges manage to do it without her stopping them?

Thus, when she starts her class, she makes sure to address the badge issue first. "Alrighty class, so before we begin, first things first. Badges off. I don't like those badges as it is, but inside my classroom, I actually have a say. They come off and stay off in here. I may not have much of a say anywhere else in this damn school, but my classroom is a safe space. While I certainly have zilch wrong with cheering for our friend Cedric, I think we all know I have a problem with bullying Harry. I get it, you're all probably not the happiest that Harry is a champion, but that still doesn't give anyone the right to be assholes to him," Darcy says once everyone has settled into their seats. She eyes the room as anyone (thankfully only a small number) wearing the aforementioned badges takes them off with a soft sigh and hides them in their bags. She nods and smirks as she watches the last offensive item be stowed away.

"Awesomepossums. Now that that is out of the way, let's get back to the fun stuff: muggle stuffs!"

From there, she launches into the joys of one of the best and also perhaps worst inventions in modern (if not all) history. Facebook and the invention of social media. Yep, time to bring Hogwarts up to date on the ways of communication of today in the muggle world.

Honestly, with the help of Jarvis, who'd volunteered his assistance as soon as she'd mentioned the idea, it's actually not too difficult to set each of her students up with their own Instagram and Twitter accounts. After all, Darcy is a huge fan of hands-on learning, so after a mini history lesson on how social media even came into existence, she begins helping them make accounts. She (with Jarvis always there to make sure everything is safe) helps them figure out how to navigate the search bars, use tags, and make their first posts on their accounts. She also makes sure to have everyone following at least one other person in class in order to get credit for the activity. Just as she's explaining the assigned essay regarding potential pros and cons of such methods of communication, her classroom door is pounded on, interrupting her lovely speech.

"Um, hello?" she calls out as she makes her way over to the door. It opens quickly to reveal Severus, an almost distressed gleam in his eyes. "Severus? Hey, um, I'm in the middle of class here, can't—"

He shakes his head swiftly. "I've been called away to assemble. I apologize, but I'm afraid we'll have to cut class short today," he tells them. The last sentence he directs to the rest of her class.

Darcy's eyes widen at his words. So, the Council meeting at early ass o'clock wasn't just for shits and giggles. They'd found the Scepter and simply needed her to agreement to finish the search. Well, at least she hadn't lost sleep for nothing! "Alright then," she says and turns to address her students. "That essay about the pros and cons of social media will be due next week on Tuesday. I don't recommend waiting until the last minute! Have a great rest of your day and enjoy the extra time off, everyone!"

It only takes a few minutes for her room to empty, the students being far quicker to pack up and leave than usual. Then she's grabbing her stuff and following her husband to Albus' office to inform the old wizard of the situation.

Once in the office, they find not only him but also Minerva there waiting for them. Someone must have mentioned that Severus has an issue to deal with that may require the presence of the Deputy Headmistress as well. It only takes a moment, after establishing that they have proper privacy, for Severus to explain that he must leave Hogwarts for upwards of a couple of days for Avenger stuff.

"Well now, Severus, this is quite unexpected," Albus says as he leans forward on his elbows, steepling his fingers together. Minerva stands next to him while the Snape-Lewis-Romanov (and isn't that long) couple are situated on the opposite side of the desk.

"Yes, I apologize for the inconvenience. However, there is truly no possible way that I can stay. You knew that there has always been a real possibility that this type of situation could happen when you agreed to let me stay on as a teacher here, let alone as the Head of Slytherin no less. Truthfully, this meeting was only to fulfill the tedious formality of informing you both before I leave," Severus tells the two foremost Heads of Hogwarts, clasping his fingers behind his back to keep from balling them into fists. Darcy watches with interest as Dumbles takes a few sweet moments to decide his response.

"I see. As I understand that a substitute will be necessary, may I inquire as to how long you'll be gone in a more exact time frame?" the Headmaster asks.

"Won't we simply use Slughorn?" Minerva pipes in.

"That would be our preferred option, but there is the small chance that he may not be available on such short notice," Albus explains.

"Oh, I suppose you are rather correct on that front," Minerva says.

Before replying, Severus and Darcy share a look and she nods, agreeing. When her husband had asked her if she'd be at all interest in teaching this year, he'd also touched upon the possibility that he'd be called away to assemble during the term. They'd talked about it and decided that, if she were open and willing to do so, Darcy could act as a substitute to monitor his classes during the first day or so if his mission is short enough. Then if the mission goes on for longer, they'd find a suitable, professional substitute who could actually teach the material and not simply stand in as monitor like Darcy. Of course, they'd also made sure that it would be an as-needed, per situation agreement. In addition, it would only really be for cases where it is no notice and he's unable to schedule a substitute personally beforehand. She would also have to not be already overwhelmed with Liaison or teaching work.

They maintain eye contact a few more moments.

I could do it for a dayish. If the mission is regarding what I was woken up for this morning, then it should be a short mission. I wouldn't mind being the class monitor to help with essays or something like that, she tells him in her mind.

You could certainly supervise essay and other such homework they've been assigned, rather than actual potion-making. If I am gone for longer than a day or so, then feel free to simply tell Button to send the letter I've already written regarding substitution. She'll know where to send it, he replies mentally. She shrugs. It's always been weird using the wizardy leggingmens or whatever it's called to talk in their heads, but she's rather enjoying it at this moment.

Sure, if it's only a day or so. Any longer, and I'll either ask Button or send an owl to your actual substitute."

Sounds good then. He sends her a smirk before they return to facing the Heads of the school.

"Thank you, Albus. I shall be departing shortly then. As I previously stated, I highly doubt that I will be gone for more than a couple of days. Thus, there is no need for you to hire a substitute to teach in my stead. Darcy has agreed to step in. While she is no Potions Mistress, we have come to the conclusion that with her current knowledge and the aid of my carefully planned schedule of homework—" Darcy can never help herself when she hears him say "schedule" and lets out a tiny amused snort at his British pronunciation. "—which I have already written throughout the years, she'll be an excellent substitute in this particular situation."

Dumbly takes a moment to consider this before speaking. "I must admit that if you were anyone else recommending his or her spouse as s substitute in a subject they are not primarily trained in, we would tell them no. However, we know just how particular you are about who you allow us to hire in your stead—"

"Yes, because you immediately wish to employ Horace as my replacement historically, and he always ruins my systems. His methods of teaching and even some of his brewing are also outdated, to add salt to the wounds you insist on inflicting!" Severus interrupts. Darcy holds in a laugh at this complaint as she clearly remembers past instances where her husband would gripe and moan anytime he would return from missions to find that someone named Horace Slughorn had been his sub while he'd been away and had ruined his storage system.

"Come now, Severus, Horace was a fine professor while you were in school and remains a fine choice when you are unable to teach," Minerva teases, a smirk pulling at her lips/

"Yes, he was perfectly fine when I was a student years ago and, as I said earlier, his teaching methods and brewing techniques have become outdated!" Her husband huffs slightly, and Darcy snickers just a tiny bit when she looks over at him because she knows his assassin training is the only thing holding him back from crossing his arms over his chest and pouting.

"Yes, yes, we know, Severus. Now, as I was saying, we already know Ms. Lewis positively interacts with our students as a professor. As you also have high praise from such a picky Potions Professor, I believe that I would be highly remiss if I declined your offer, Ms. Lewis." Oh, goody, he actually addressed her this time.

"I may not be an expert like Severus said, but I know plenty enough for the short time he should be done," Darcy assures the Heads.

"Well then, it seems we have the situation well in hand. We shall expect you when you return, my boy," Alby says.

"Awesomesauce. Also, you really need to not call Severus 'my boy.' It's seriously creepy and inappropriate," Darcy tosses over her shoulder before exiting the office.

Her human follows her not long after to find her simply waiting down near the eagle statue at the bottom of the stairs, phone in hand. She looks up when he reaches her. "So, according to Jarvis and Clin, their eta isn't too much longer. Do you have your stuff?"

He pats his right leg where she guesses there's a pocket. She eyes the spot with a mild case of the jellies. Seriously, this is 2014, and girl pockets are still pathetic. Sure, he shrunk his suit down small enough to fit it in his pocket, but the fact that he even has full-sized pockets and multiple pockets at that makes her just a wee bit very jelly. The fact that he tends to wear black cargo style pants, or trousers as he likes to call them, only rubs salt in the wound.

"Okay, so then where are they landing? Did they say? Are they even landing?" she asks as they start walking.

"While I prefer that they stay in the air and I simply fly my broom up to them, I believe that they plan to land on the grounds. After all, you do have a rather prominent tradition to uphold."

"Okay, true. Well, let's go wait for them near the main entrance then, I guess."

It doesn't take them much time at all before they find the first Avenger milling about in the Entrance Hall, hurrying around and snapping pictures with his Starkphone and jabbering on to Jarvis presumably. While some students seem to be eyeing him curiously, they must also remember the man visiting earlier in the term. Dressed in his under-suit and mumbling to himself excitedly, Tony merely looks lost and confused rather than the fierce and powerful Iron Man, his armor all folded into the briefcase in one of his hands.

"Calcifer!" Darcy calls happily as they approach. The man in question pauses his investigation of the room to smile back at her.

"Sparkles! Ha! I win! Take that, suckers!" he shouts triumphantly in greeting.

"Uh, who are you calling suckers and where are the others? I thought this was a whole team thingy!" Darcy asks as she pulls the mechanic who has slowly become one of her closest friends in for a hug.

"Well, I believe that would be us, as in the rest of the team, and they're still on their way, I suppose," a new voice chimes in as Tony and Severus also exchange a hug. Tony pulls back from the embrace with narrowed eyes and a flailing arm in the newcomer's direction.

"You," he squawks. "I know the—damnit. How the hell did you get here first? I passed the quinjet!"

"I floo'd," Natasha says calmly as she greets first Severus then Darcy with hugs.

"How? I could've sworn I saw you on the quinjet! You—" Tony deflates. "You used the fly-through after I took off, didn't you?"

"You said, and I quote, 'first to Lewis wins!' and then just took off! You never said anything against fire-floo! You simply assumed we would all take the quinjet," the Widow says with a shrug and self-satisfied smirk. "Now, I'm—what is it? —oh, yes, a few hundred dollars richer. Whatever shall I buy with my newfound wealth," she purrs teasingly.

Darcy shares a smile and an affectionate roll of eyes at their antics.

"If you've been here for so long, Nat, then what have you even been doing?" Tony asks with a still suspicious gaze.

"Getting us," Niko chimes in as he and Yelena make their presence known. After living with Severus for years now, Darcy has gotten better at not jumping when people sneak up on her but she still startles when she sees the two other assassins appear next to her with Draco not far behind, both dressed in mission gear.

"Oh, my Loki, seriously. Bells. Everyone is getting bells this winter!" Darcy announces just as a few other things happen at once.

At the sight of Niko and Yelena, Severus swiftly reaches into his pockets and pulls out his collapsed batons. Then with a flick, he opens them to their full length and turns them on, his magic obviously flowing through them with tech that Tony and he had been working on if the sparks that travel along them is any indication. In turn, Niko bangs his snake-headed staff to unlock the mechanism that allows it to extend into a full bow, easily adjusting his grip to compensate for the new size. Even Yelena and Nat pull out hand-to-hand combat weapons of some sort, with only Draco not moving to join the royale that's about to start. Of course, this all happens at the same time so Darcy just barely understands all the other little complexities that went into taking their weapons out. All she can really comprehend is that damnit they're still on about that stupid family joke/rule. Ever since Darcy had gotten Yelena and Severus to watch Ouran High School Host Club with her, specifically the episodes with Honey and Chika, they hadn't gotten it out of their heads that they now needed to have a battle royale every time two members of the Romanov family met. Of course, once it was officially confirmed that Natasha is Niko's mum too, then even Natasha, Niko, and Draco had joined the joke.

"Disarm or blood?" Yelena asks.

"How about neither!" Darcy interjects, moving to stand between the quartet. "We're surrounded by students in a school, in case I needed to remind you!" The appearance of weapons has definitely made their audience more attentive and interested in the show the Avengers and family have started. "If you have to do it, can't you at least take it outside so no bystanders get caught up too?"

Just as the four (five, if Draco decides to join the family fun) are about to rush outside, Steve and the rest of the team shows up, proving to only further confuse those watching who know the couple as Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy.

"How about not at all?" Stevie says with a tone of finality. "I understand that you have a match every time you meet another family member, which is just as ridiculous in real life as it is in that show, but this time you're just going to have to wait. Save your energy for the mission!"

Those in question grumble but stow their weapons away just as quickly as they whipped them out.

"Oh, great, now everyone is here! Why? Who invited the peasants? We already have the whole team! We don't need the peasants too!" the billionaire pouts as soon as things have settled down and weapons are once again hidden.

"Always so dramatic, Stark. You're in our territory now. Did you really think that we'd let you have all the fun? Of course, we're coming along," Yelena comments, an arm resting around Draco's shoulders. The boy looks both comfortable with the gesture but also still embarrassed because some of his friends must be looking on. Darcy guesses that he likes this impromptu visit and the attention from his parent but is also becoming aware of all the attention they're attracting from the other students and staff gathering in the Entrance Hall.

"If anyone is a peasant, Anthony, it would be you," Niko teases.

"Excuse me, owner of an international, multi-billion-dollar company over here," Tony says with indignation.

"Actual royal blood flowing in my veins. Owner of an international, multi-million-dollar company," Niko retorts playfully.

"Actual royal blood, my ass—" Tony starts before Darcy interrupts their regularly scheduled dick contest with a whistle.

"Okay, bois, both of your dicks are fine. Sure, Tony's like a bunch of times richer, but you're both filthy rich. We got it," Darcy interjects with a teasing glint in her eyes.

"Wait, what are you even doing here, Drake?" Clint asks. "Damn, you've grown. It hasn't been that long, has it?"

"Not even a year," the blond youth says with a shrug. "Besides, this is my school. Of course, I'm here too!"

"Huh? I didn't see you last time! I guess I must have missed you," Tony replies.

"What about Xavier's place? I thought you were talking about that last time?" Brucey pipes in.

"Aye, I thought that the Khaleesi said you were to be trained as one of them once you turned 14," Thor adds.

"Yeah, I've been lied to!" Clinton chimes, placing his hand on his chest dramatically.

"She didn't lie. I have Danger Room once a month with them, just not really much more," Draco explains nonchalantly.

"Oh, so you're still a spawn of this place then. Coolios, very medieval," the archer coos.

"Back to the topic at hand, though, what are all of you doing here? You could've simply waited in the quinjet for us to come out," Severus asks. The Avengers all nod towards Darcy with identical smirks, including the two extra assassins. Even Brucie-Bear and Thormeister manage to match the devious expression. Darcy feels her heart burst with pride and love for these people and puffs out her chest in response. Ever since the Team had become official and actually like a family to her, Darcy has demanded goodbye hugs every time they leave for a mission, because fuck it, you never know if it'll go south.

"It would be unwise to invoke my sister's wrath for breaking such an honored tradition," Thor says with the wisdom of his thousands of years.

"Damn straight," Darcy cheers, a smile splitting her lips.

"And as honorary teammates, when we join you on missions, we are simply honor-bound to participate in the tradition as well of course," Yelena announces as well.

"Indeed," Severus agrees, only somewhat sarcastically.

"Well, what are you all waiting for? Line up! You need to actually go on your mission. My hugs may be magical, but you all have a job to do," Darcy orders.

One by one, each Avenger and honorary Avenger are tackled in a huge, warm bear hug courtesy of Darcy. She hugs everyone until the last person in line is her own Avenging husband. The two of them share a kiss and a long hug. Then he gives her one more kiss, this time on her cheek.

"Stay safe. Come back to me," she demands, her tone far more akin to pleading and desperate than the hear shout of a drill sergeant. Then she glances past him to make eye contact with each Avenger and friends. "All of you."

"Don't, Darce, we'll take care of each other. We'll make sure he comes back in one piece for you," Stevie comforts.

"Now go," she urges," go save the world. Go be heroes!"

Severus chuckles and gives her one last kiss. Then he gives the others a nod and they begin to file out of the castle. Niko and Yelena give Draco one last hug and kiss on the forehead as well, ignoring the gawking stares of all the students and faculty they're sure are following their every move.

Darcy slides over and loops an arm around Draco's shoulders as the two of them wave their family off. Then she glances around to find that the dinner crowd has grouped around them, too engrossed in the show to continue into the Great Hall for dinner and watching with open interest. She shares a look of amusement with her nephew before they march into the Great Hall as though nothing exciting has happened, both for the sake of making a show for the gawkers and to placate themselves. After all, their family has just gone to fight a battle and they don't know what will happen to them. All they can hope for is that everyone makes it back to them in one piece and alive, everything else comes after.