Title Breaking Free

Author: TeamMaddison

AU: AU means alternate universe. This to my knowledge did not happen in the show or in the shows spin offs. Rated as it is because this story explores topics such as strong language, domestic violence, depression, PTSD, self harm, and attempted suicide.

Rated: M for mature just to be on the safe side due to the above listed themes.

Disclaimer: As much as I would love to I do not own Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, or any of the characters from either show. I am simply a fan.

Chapter 1:

"I'm still in love with you. I tried not to be and it didn't work." Mark Sloan stood outside her doorway and handed her roses. His eyes locked on hers. He reached out and gently caressed her cheek, pushing her auburn hair out of her face and exposing the black eye she had desperately tried to hide with make up. It wasn't the first time he saw bruises on her and every time he saw a new one it felt as if his heart was being stabbed with a knife. Almost nothing surprised him anymore.

" Mark you have to go. He'll be home soon." She said taking the roses and pressing them to her nose, breathing in deeply.

"I'm not leaving without you." He declared. "He won't stop until you're dead."

"Mark please..." She begged knowing Derek's wrath would be so much worse if found out he had been by. She brought her hand to her head and ran her fingers through her hair, cringing when she touched the knot from where Derek slammed her head into the wall the night before.

"Him hurting you is killing me." Mark confessed. "Let me protect you. He'll never touch you again." He promised. When he first found Derek was hurting Addison he punched him so hard that Derek ended up on the floor of the hospital with a broken jaw. Things had been better for Addison for a while after that. He had almost convinced her to leave Derek and get her life back, but Derek managed to drag her back in with apologies, counseling, and promises of change that never happened.

"I can't… Mark you know why I can't. " She would love to be able to leave and run away from the hands that hurt her every night. She knew she could never escape though, and after years of abuse she had come to believe that she deserved his anger. If only she hadn't ran her mouth. If only she had been home from work on time. If only she had folded the towels and arranged the kitchen pantry correctly. He wouldn't be so angry. He wouldn't hurt her.

"Addie this isn't love." She could hear the desperate raw pain in his voice, as it cracked. She knew he was trying to keep his composure. "Love shouldn't hurt, not like this." He gestured at her arms which he knew was covered in bruises, and scars from her self harm. Why else would she be wearing long sleeves in the middle of a record summer heat wave? "You don't deserve to be hurt.

Her bright blue eyes flooded with tears she was unable to control. Quickly she looked down at the ground. "I deserve that and so much more." She mumbled stepping outside the door and sinking down to the ground, resting her head in her knees. He sat down beside her and looked around at the beautiful land and the marvelous house that Derek had built just for Addison. She thought she was getting her happy ever after. The thing about happy ever afters though is that they don't exist. Not like they do in the fairytales anyway.

"You deserve to be happy." He countered. "This isn't that."

"What do you want from me Mark?" She asked knowing that things would never be the same between them, they would never be back to the way they were.

"I just want you to be happy… I want you to be safe. I want you to not have to live every second of your life in fear." He said honestly. Right now re establishing their past relationship was the last thing on her mind. Yes he was in love with her. But love is something gentle and fragile. It can't be forced. It would either happen or it wouldn't. He was willing to take that sacrifice if he could just know she was safe and not slashing her wrists or getting beaten to a bloody pulp every night. There are different ways to love.

"I really am fine Mark." She insisted. "I don't need you to rescue me."

"You just keep telling yourself that." He said with a tiny smirk.

"I have this under control." She insisted.

"If you have control take control. Get your purse. Let's get you somewhere safe." He searched her eyes for understanding that he is challenging her.

"Ok" she whispered her voice sounded as if it were coming from someone else as she stood up and numbly walking inside, trying to appear braver than she felt. Like her entire world was not collapsing around her.. She grabbed her purse and walked back outside locking the door behind her. Being with Derek was hell. Not being with Derek was equally as terrifying.

"Ok." He said opening the car door for her and helping her inside. It was a small victory. Baby steps in getting her freedom back. Baby steps in re establishing her self worth and confidence. Baby steps in helping her take this tragedy that she calls a life and become stronger than she ever had been before… ….