Disclaimer: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Fandoms of Fanfiction. And to the lawyers of the Republic for which law stands: one franchise, I'm under oath with a lack of invisibility with...wait. Okay, I don't own Fairy Tail or any of the characters included in said anime-package. Please, don't sue me.

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Summary: In which Natsu and Lucy are top actors who despise one another kind of maybe sort of not really.

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scene one

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"Don't leave me...please, don't leave me," Natsu pleads in a strained voice. His arms wrap tightly around Lucy's shoulders, and he buries his face in the crook of her neck, breaths frantic as they ghost across the expanse of her skin. "I need you. I need you...to stay here beside me. Please."

The blonde remains silent through it all, her closed eyes hardly stopping the tears that stream down her cheeks. She lifts one hand, fingertips gently caressing the tan arms that lock her in place. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she whimpers, and his hold tightens. She can feel his quivering lips as they brush against her, and she struggles to remain resolute as she says, "I love you, truly I do...but I just...can't do this anymore."

"Why?" he chokes out, and he turns her around in his hold. Their chests touch, hardly any space between their rapidly beating hearts, and he gazes into her eyes, beseeching. "If you love me then how can you do this? If you love me then how can you...how can…?" His words falter into silence, and all he has enough strength to do is desperately stare at the woman he has loved for as long as he can remember.

She merely stares back at him, holding a hand up to his chest and gently pushing him away. "I'm sorry," she sighs once more, and she's stepping out of his grasp. Away from him. One reluctant footfall after another. And he watches her go with a pained expression, his eyes never straying from hers as she grows further away.

He outstretches his hand towards her retreating figure and croaks brokenly, "I will die without you."

And she smiles at him, voice soft enough for only him to hear, "I hope you do, you piece of shit."

"Cut!" the director shouts, and bustles his way onto the scene with an excited grin. The once tense atmosphere in the pseudo-apartment instantly melts away, and a horde of stylists rush onto the set with makeup kits and towels in hand. "That was fantastic, you two! Oh, I've never seen such wonderful acting! I knew it was a smart choice to hire you two for the lead roles!"

As Natsu is handed a fresh water bottle from his manager, he raises an eyebrow and grunts, "it could've been better if little miss virgin over there didn't stiffen every time I touched her. There's no way the camera didn't catch that."

Across from him and leaning against the prop door, Lucy scoffs, graciously accepting her own drink. "If that scene was ruined by anything, it was definitely your god awful delivery. How the hell did you even win all of those awards last season with that amateur vocal inflection you've got going on?"

Natsu's eyebrow twitches, and he gently pushes his manager and stylists aside to storm across the set and square his co-actor with an irritated look. He crosses his arms over his chest, ignoring the way Lucy rubs harshly against her neck where Natsu had been instructed to kiss her. "Listen here, daffodil, I won those awards fair and square and you know it."

"Oh yeah, strawberry?" Lucy snorts, and she comes to stand straight, gaze just as acidic as Natsu's as she glares up at him. She jabs a finger into his chest, once twice and three times before standing on the tips of her toes to hiss, "the Academy must be a group of deaf toddlers if they consider what you just did today acting."

Natsu leans forward then, and his forehead bumps into Lucy's with an audible thump. They're barely an inch apart, but the electricity zapping between them is clear for everyone on set to see. From behind them, the director yanks his tie loose awkwardly, keeping a fair distance away from the fuming pair.

"Shut up, ugly," Natsu growls under his breath.

Lucy smirks and shoots back snidely, "I know you are, but what am I?"

It takes two long and painful hours of the two insulting one another before the director can settle them down enough to move onto the next scene.

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scene two

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"You and Natsu were so amazing in that drama a few years ago!" Levy swoons from her seat across from a visibly disgruntled Lucy. The petite screenwriter sits forward, oblivious to her friend's mood as she excitedly rambles on, "and that movie from last summer too! So much greatness! Oh, and don't forget about the web series you two had when you first debuted. You two were so incredible together!"

Beside her, Mirajane (a rising executive producer in the industry) bounces in her seat and nods, setting her wine aside so she can loudly agree, "exactly! Their acting is always crazy magical when they're both on the screen, I swear! No wonder every director and their mothers wants to cast them for their scripts."

"Guys, as much as I love talking about that doofus, can we please just enjoy our dinner in peace?" Lucy stabs at her steaming plate of gourmet food with her fork, stabbing it again and again with each word she says. A bit of sauce flies off from her steak and drips onto the white tablecloth, but Lucy pays no mind to it. "I would really appreciate it, you know? Not having that pea-brained lamppost be the center of every conversation we have. Maybe for one day, one day, let's talk about something else, hm? Sound good? Yeah? Great. Fantastic. Thanks, guys."

Levy and Mirajane blink stupidly at Lucy as she continues to assault her innocent meal. They turn to one another, expressions completely baffled before soundlessly lifting their own forks to begin eating.

When the waiter comes around to collect their plates an hour later, Lucy's is the only one made up entirely of expensive mush.

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scene three

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Loke is brutally honest as he wanders over to Natsu and asks, "so are you banging Lucy Heartfilia or what?"

Natsu rubs his face into his palms, exhaling in exasperation. He begrudgingly switches his attention away from the new script he's reading and faces his manager with a deep frown. "How dare you disrespect me like that in my own home...?"

Loke's eyebrows get practically lost in his hairline at Natsu's words, and he plops down on the sofa beside him with a disbelieving look. "There's no way you haven't tapped that yet," he gasps in astonishment, "are you fucking crazy? She's the hottest thing right now, next to you anyways. You guys are basically made for each other."

"So because we're both attractive and work together often, we're supposed to automatically like each other?" Natsu paraphrases. He puts the manuscript for his new movie down, staring at Loke as if he's the dumbest person on the planet (which, if Natsu were to be quite honest, isn't that far from the truth).

Loke sputters then, scratching the nape of his neck in an uncomfortable gesture, "well, when you put it that way, I guess not. But…" he pauses for a moment, "wait, does that mean you don't even like her? Because, dude...that's impossible. I mean, that chemistry between the two of you. It's like nothing the industry has ever seen! There's no way on Earth you can hate the Lucy Heartfilia."

Natsu ignores him.

And after fifteen minutes of Loke trying to annoy Natsu into giving him Lucy's phone number, Natsu finally grows fed up and roughly shoves the man's face aside. He goes back to practicing his lines with a pout.

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scene four

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"You look less ugly than usual, daffodil," Natsu greets as he takes Lucy's hand in his own. Hundreds of cameras flash around the pair as they exit the silver limousine that has just parked in front of the award show venue, and Lucy forces herself to smile lovingly at Natsu as the two of them begin their trek down the red carpet.

"I wish I could say the same for you, strawberry. Aren't you embarrassed on behalf of your parents for having such a horrid face?" Her words are low, but Natsu hears her loud and clear.

The grip his fingers hold around her waist tighten, and his own grin betrays not a single ounce of his inner feelings as he quickly retorts, "not as horrid as your attitude."

"Nice comeback. I give it a generous three out of ten," Lucy mutters, and the two of them continue to smile and wave at the hordes of people surrounding them. The blonde looks positively stunning in her long evening gown, its deep scarlet color fading into a rich onyx in a gradient style that sends the paparazzi abuzz with questions as to who designed it. Natsu doesn't look any less spectacular beside her, his burgundy suit perfectly hugging his figure in a way that causes the fans crowded around the venue to squeal of delight.

They look mesmerizing on the red carpet that evening, ethereal even, and the next morning, it comes to no one's surprise when their image is plastered on the cover of every magazine and newspaper nationwide. NaLu, they all read in bold letters, the Power Couple of the Century.

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scene five

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"Fuck, you feel so good," Natsu groans out monotonously, and he rocks his body atop Lucy with as much enthusiasm as the woman currently lying frozen beneath him. He narrows his eyes at her as she struggles to smother her giggles behind her palms, and he's three seconds away from slamming a pillow down on her face when he hears a holler come from off-set.

"Cut! Cut, cut, cut!" The director is an incredibly patient man (too patient, really), but even he seems to have a limit as to how much he can handle when it comes down to Natsu and Lucy's infamous reluctance to work properly with one another—especially on a scripted bed scene. He stops beside the bed that the two actors are strewn across, and he whacks the mattress with the script he has rolled up in his fist. "This is not how I want the scene to be," he says. "Natsu, you look as if you're writhing in pain. And Lucy, please...can you not laugh every time Natsu tries to deliver his lines? Aya is not a character who laughs as she is making love to her partner!"

"M-my bad, sir," Lucy chuckles, and she all but kicks Natsu off of her. She sits up from the bed, smoothing down the locks of her hair that were mussed by Natsu's fingers and adjusts her nude body suit into place. Breathing another laugh, she assures, "I won't do it next time, sir. Really. It's just...this guy is so unbearably unattractive! I can't take him seriously."

Natsu rolls his eyes. "Sir, is it alright if we just throw a paper bag over Lucy's head? Maybe then I'll be able to actually act this scene out."

"Act, he says. As if he knows what that is."

Natsu doesn't even bother holding himself back this time. He slams Lucy with a pillow and nearly sends her toppling off of the bed. Yelping in surprise, Lucy takes a second to find her bearings before she spins around to eye her co-actor darkly.

"You bitch," she snarls.

And Natsu snaps back, "I know you are, but what am I?"

It takes the director and twenty members of his staff to finally break the two apart as they spend the rest of the shoot trying to murder one another with pillows. Natsu and Lucy leave behind what looks like a feathery war zone as they are both forced to pack up for the day. And the director can only cry in their wake.

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scene six

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"I don't care what you say, I ship you two," Levy yells from over the loud and pulsing music of the private club. "He's an absolute sweetheart, the country's most desirable bachelor, and you're crazy for being so mean to him." The three of them are currently on the dance floor, half-empty bubbly drinks in hand, and Mirajane is too busy making out with a random stranger to offer much input. But Levy is sure the older woman would've agreed as she always seems to do.

Lucy is one more sip away from being thoroughly smashed as she sways to and fro to the beat, and she pretends to not hear her friend as she dances freely. The music is strangely liberating, completely erasing the foul mood left behind by Natsu at the function they had been forced to attend just hours prior.

She can hardly remember what it was that he had done that angered her—something along the lines of "accidentally" spilling his wine on her, or calling her some silly name again. It's all a blur to her at this point, and when she finally takes that one sip of alcohol that tips her off the edge, Lucy embraces it with a goofy smile and a shimmy of her hips.

"Mind if I intrude, daffodil?" a familiar voice deeply rasps into her ear, and Lucy tilts her head back to get a look at its owner. Natsu smirks back at her, hands coming to rest on her waist, his fingers coming to squeeze at the bare skin not covered by her crop top and low-cut jeans. "You know, if I were sober right now, I'd tell you you're moving like a fish."

Lucy sticks her tongue out at him, giggling like a fool as she grinds back into him. "And if I were sober, I'd tell you to go choke on a rock, strawberry."

"Good thing we're drunk then, hm?" Natsu laughs airily.

And Lucy snorts, throwing her arms back so they curl around Natsu's shoulders. "Just shut up and dance."

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scene seven

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"How are you not dating?" Loke screams for the millionth time since forever and looks on the verge of yanking his hair out as he storms into Natsu's condo. His phone is held tightly in his hands, and Natsu can only look up from his bowl of cereal for a millisecond before the glowing device is being shoved in his face. "Look at this! Look at this and tell me truthfully that you two aren't a thing!"

Natsu takes the phone from Loke's shaking hands and raises an eyebrow at what's displayed. It's a horribly candid photo of him and Lucy from the week before, one that looks as if it were taken in a quick second—blurry and dark and borderline intelligible. But the image is still clear enough for Natsu to see the gist of what it shows and he groans in disgust at the sight.

It the two of them, a beyond drunk Lucy and an even drunker him, practically glued to one another as they stare into the other's eyes with indecipherable expressions on their faces. They look downright sinful, pressed against one another in such a dangerous position that Natsu can't even believe it's him. If not for the photo's poor quality, he would've sworn it was meant for a soft porn magazine. It looks so...compromising, and Natsu wants to drown himself in his cereal when he feels himself begin to blush.

"Well shit," is all he can say.

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scene eight

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"I blame you for this," Lucy hisses, scowling dangerously at Natsu. Self-consciously, she weakly attempts to cover the pink lace of her sponsored bra from view, cheeks flushing into a deep shade of red as she squirms in Natsu's lap.

Holding her close against his bare chest, Natsu huffs and switches into another pose as cameras shutter around them. Her chin is set between his fingers, locking their eyes in place, and his other hand is folded over the curve of her ass—something he had vehemently refused to do when the photographer first suggested it, but eventually agreed to do when Lucy said "and you call me a virgin" in front of the entire staff. He glares at the blonde and bitterly says, "blame your obnoxious friend who took that damn picture and spread it online. What the hell is her problem anyways? Wanting us together is like wanting a third world war."

Lucy swats Natsu's hand away from her chin and forces him to plant it against her thigh. The contact burns and seems to send a jolt between them, but they pay no mind to it, instead continuing to glower at one another in a way the photographer misinterprets as sensual. "First of all," Lucy's bites out, "only I can call Levy obnoxious. Second of all...hey, stop looking at my cleavage."

"What? Natsu mumbles, and he snaps his eyes up to look at Lucy in confusion. "I...what?"

"Pig," Lucy fumes and remains quiet for the rest of the photoshoot that, supposedly, the entire country is thirsty for after the whole club incident that had gone viral within a matter of seconds. Neither of them mention how, once or twice or maybe a little more, they catch the other subtlety gawking at places they probably shouldn't.

And when the scandalous (and so very embarrassing) pictures are at last released to the public at the end of the month, it becomes the highest-selling photobook of all time. Meanwhile, the online NaLu fanclub reaches its two millionth member.

Natsu and Lucy are the only people who don't celebrate.

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scene nine

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"So, it's been an entire ten years since you debuted, Natsu. Please, tell us how it feels to be one of the most sought after actors in your field."

Leaning back in his chair, Natsu smirks at the busty woman interviewing him. She curls one of her orange locks around her finger, biting her lip and fluttering her eyelashes at Natsu as he prepares to answer. "Well," he says with his award-winning smile, "it's an honor, really. I often hear that not many can reach my level of success at such a young age and maintain it so well. I have my fans to thank for that, most definitely."

"Oh, yes. Your fans certainly love you more than anything, Natsu." The interviewer's lips tilt coyly, and she says with a blatantly flirty tone, "you know...I'm your biggest fan, Natsu."

Natsu stops himself from scrunching his face up in distaste, and chuckles professionally at the interviewer's comment. "Then you deserve a personal thank you, Miss…"

"Flare Corona," she introduces happily while she holds a dainty hand out for him to shake. "It's a joy being in your presence."

Natsu shakes her hand and grins. "Likewise, Flare."

Not even the camera could miss the way Flare shivers at the mere call of her name by someone like Natsu, and she makes a show out of fanning herself with the index card of questions she holds in her hand. Clearing her throat, she goes on questioning him, crossing her legs and showing off the length of her legs for everyone in the studio to see. "Now, final question, Natsu," she begins, "for the past seven years since your first web drama with one another, many have suspected that you and Lucy Heartfilia are in a relationship. Which, if you consider how many films and shows and commercials you've been in together over the years, isn't such a wild assumption, correct? So tell us here at Raven Media, is NaLu really a thing?"

That night, on Raven Media's homepage, the most trending article (with over five thousand comments and one million views), is titled: Natsu confirms it, folks! "Lucy is my co-worker."

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scene ten

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"It's official now. I've lost all chances at getting my dream girl," Loke bemoans from the driver's seat, pulling at a stop light before repeatedly banging his head against the steering wheel. "Why couldn't it be me?"

Natsu rips off his sleeping mask so he can glare at his manager. "Do you mind saving all that whining for when your shift is over?" he barks in frustration, throwing his mask to the car floor and dragging his hand down his face. "You just fucked up the only sleep I managed to get in nine days. Thanks."

"How can you even try to sleep when the love of my life is off the market?" Loke cries and only begins to drive again when the line of cars behind him start to honk. He sniffles, wiping his tears away onto his sleeve. "She was stolen from me. I just got my love stolen from me."

"Who are you even talking about?" Natsu yawns as he begins to stretch out his arms. His back makes a disturbing cracking noise, and Natsu can only blame the achiness on having to rest in planes for the past few days. It's getting ridiculous, he silently complains. He may just have to talk to the director about always wanting to film every three hours in locations that were thousands of miles apart from one another. "Hey Loke, remind me to ask—what the hell is this?"

Loke pauses the van's miniature television, sobbing as he says, "the very newsreel that informed me of my lost love." He presses play again, and the video resumes, snatching Natsu's attention and any words he had been ready to say.

It's Lucy, looking as aggravatingly gorgeous as always in a short blue and white babydoll dress. She's beaming at one of the cameramen, standing beside some buffed up dude with droopy eyes and holding his hand with both of her own. Beneath where they stand, in all capslock, are the words: Actress Lucy Heartfilia and Model Gray Fullbuster Dating?

Natsu completely forgets about sleep for the rest of the day.

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scene eleven

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"He looks so stupid, that dumb strawberry. Am I right, ladies?" Lucy scoffs as she watches the television set in the corner of the dressing room. Her hair stylist laughs robotically in response, proceeding to heat Lucy's hair into bountiful curls dusted with glitter. And in front of her, Lucy's makeup artist dabs a light coating of powder to her cheeks, giving Lucy a small smile as she works. "I mean, just look at his stance. All tall and straight, like he's out of the military or something. And his hair. Why does it look so nice here? When he first debuted, it looked like a crow's nest. And god, would you look at his face? Don't even get me started on his face! It's all...you know...ugh. Like, I can't stand to look at it for more than five seconds. Who said he could have a face like that, huh?"

"Lucy, you've been doing this shit for years. Marathoning Natsu's movies and insulting every inch of his body cannot be that fun," Erza, her manager, remarks gruffly from her place on a nearby sofa. She squints at Lucy's reflection where the actress is fiddling her thumbs sheepishly, and Erza tsks as she grabs the remote and switches the television to another channel.

"Hey! I was watching that!" Lucy squawks indignantly.

Erza frowns at her. "You should be watching the award show you weren't able to attend tonight. You're up for best actress again but, instead of seeing if you win, you're busy watching—"

"Wait, Erza. Shut up for a second, shut up," Lucy interrupts eagerly, and shoos her stylists aside so she can get a clearer view of the television. Erza doesn't even bother speaking up about her employer's evident lack of manners, and looks up at the television herself.

She isn't surprised to see Natsu standing there (since no one else could ever make Lucy appear more entranced), and he's accepting his award for best actor of the year.

"I would like to thank the Academy for this prestigious award, and of course my parents who have given me more support than I could have ever asked for," they hear him say through the television's speakers. Natsu is captured tearing up (which Lucy knows is practiced and fake because she's the one who taught him how to do it four years prior) as he recites his speech (that he probably hired some college graduate to write for him because that's what Lucy suggested he should do six years prior when she caught him trying to actually write a speech on his own in-between takes). His fingers clench tightly around the golden award he holds out for the audience to see, and he inhales, "I would...also like to thank a very...special someone."

Lucy's eyebrows wrinkle and she sits forward in her seat. Something like anticipation flutters inside of her, making her feel weird for reasons she can't explain. She listens closely.

"This woman...she's someone I've only recently developed feelings for...someone who has been watching me from afar for so long that I almost feel ashamed for never noticing her until now." Natsu shakes his head, chuckling humorlessly at his supposed ignorance. And then he's staring straight at the camera (seemingly straight at Lucy), grinning as he chimes, "thank you, Flare. I don't know what I'd do without you."

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scene twelve

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"Where's the jerk who fucked up my ship," Levy thunders as she rushes her way into Natsu's condo. Loke stands in the doorway, flabbergasted as the small woman stomps past him and begins searching through the living room. "Where is he? I am going to kill him!"

Recognizing her as Lucy's closest friend, Loke warily approaches her. "Calm down," he tells her in a voice he hopes is light enough for him to be saved from her demonic wrath. He leads her over to the sofa, palms on her shoulders. "You're looking for Natsu, right? He isn't here right now, but...why? Is something wrong? Did something happen to my—err, to...Lucy?"

Levy jumps to her feet before Loke can stop her. He scooches back in worry, and she begins to pace back and forth in front of the couch. "Yes, something happened to Lucy! Natsu confessing his love for that random news chick at the award show the other night happened to Lucy! She's an absolute wreck right now because of him!"

Tugging at his collar, Loke gulps (Levy, as short as she is, is quite the intimidating woman), "u-um, don't hurt me for asking this, but how exactly does Natsu's acceptance speech affect Lucy? Don't they not give two shits about each other?"

"God, you don't actually believe that, do you?" Levy nearly shrieks, and pulls at her hair in boiling rage. Loke sinks lower into the couch while she starts to kick at the air. "Ridiculous, this is ridiculous! Those two are so dumb! Tell me, if those two hate each other so much, then why has Natsu never declined starring in a role with Lucy?"

"Well, I mean...I don't know. It does seem a little strange, but—"

"Shut up," Levy snarls and Loke instantly clamps his mouth shut. "Now tell me, excluding Flare, has Natsu ever been in a relationship with someone after meeting Lucy?"

"No..." Loke meeps.

Levy is like a cruel detective as she continues to interrogate, "you've questioned that ratboy Natsu about his relationship with Lucy before, haven't you? Of course you have, because I have—everyone has! So answer me this last question. Whenever you've brought it up, has Natsu ever denied having feelings for Lucy?"

Loke snorts at that one, and replies in a matter-of-fact tone, "don't be silly, he always denies it."

"No, think about it. Think," Levy shouts and grabs Loke by his shirt, shaking him as if it's the only way to get him to truly understand her words. "Seriously think! Has Natsu ever really said, out right, that he has zero feelings for Lucy Heartfilia?"

And after moment of pure silence, Loke's eyes widen and he gasps in sudden realization, "n-no...never."

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scene thirteen

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"Oh, for the love of—this is all wrong!" the photographer wails as she comes to stand between Natsu and Lucy. She flails her arms around, face distraught as she forces their limbs into her desired positions. "I need it to be more steamy! More ooh-lala and less agh-blergblerg. That's the sound of vomiting, by the way. Don't turn my photoshoot into vomit!"

Lucy rolls her eyes, allowing the photographer to guide one of her legs around Natsu's waist. Her arms hang from his neck and she frowns at the lack of distance between them as the photographer pushes their bodies even closer.

Natsu's own hands are hovering over the actress' hips and the photographer slams them into place, smiling in victory when all Natsu can do is blow his hair out of his face in anger. "They just had to want to do a tango concept…"

Quirking a brow, Lucy flips the black-haired wig she's wearing over her shoulder. "What, are you uncomfortable with this? Wish it was Flare here instead of me?"

Natsu seems to be shocked by her words, and he looks down at her with an unreadable expression on his face before he scowls, "what about you? I bet you'd be more cooperative if some fancy beefcake of a model was in my shoes." He steps forward, bringing their bodies impossibly closer. He can feel every dip and curve of her body through the thin material of her dress, and he grips at the flesh of her thigh as he jeers, "you hate this, don't you? Me touching you so intimately...it pisses you off, doesn't it? I piss you off, right?"

Lucy is taken aback by his brashness but she would jump off of a cliff before she'd show it. Her arms drag Natsu's face down to her level instead, fingers burying themselves into his hair as she quips back, "you do so much more than just piss me off, strawberry. So much more."

And Natsu smirks darkly, the space between their lips hardly there as he breaths, "likewise, daffodil."

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scene fourteen

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"Oh shit, here comes my beloved lord and savior! Lucy, babe, you're late!" Gray sings as Lucy saunters to the far back of the exclusive café. She slides into the booth the ebony-haired model has prepared for them, humming in gratitude when she sees the large cup of coffee (with whip cream, an absolute must) already sitting at the center of the table.

"I love you, Gray," the blonde actress moans in appreciation as she quickly swallows the warm rush of liquefied adrenaline. Pulling off her sunglasses, she gives Gray a smile. "You're the greatest friend I could ever ask for."

"Anything for the doll who distracted the media from finding out that I've been married for the past decade," he dismisses breezily, snatching her cup away and taking a satisfied sip of his own. He winks at her glare. "My image would be absolute trash now if anyone ever found out about Juvia, you know. It's all thanks to you that I was able to keep my career and boost up my popularity a bit at the same time."

Lucy steals her coffee back before Gray can take another swig, and she sticks her tongue out at him. "I don't know what Juvia sees in you but, whatever it is, she doesn't deserve being crucified by your maniac fans because of it. I agreed to not speak out against the rumors because of her, not you."

Gray holds a hand a hand to his chest, sharply inhaling, "do you mean to tell me that you like Juvia more than precious little ol' me?"

"I like a lot of people more than you, Gray," Lucy deadpans.

The model wiggles his eyebrows at her, tapping his flawlessly manicured nails against the table. Tilting his head, he jokingly smooches at her and says through dramatically puckered lips, "like your little boyfriend, Natsu?" And then he hurriedly backtracks, "oh wait, he's taken now, isn't he? What a shame. Sorry, forget I ever said that."

And almost instantly, Lucy's entire mood crumbles into nothingness.

"Oooh, touchy subject, I see," Gray observes awkwardly. He slowly eases Lucy's coffee from her hands, taking it for himself for the second time. "You should've just told him you had feeling for him when you had the chance..."

Lucy slams her fists onto the table, almost sending her coffee splattering onto Gray's lap. "What feelings?" she snaps, "Natsu is...Natsu! He's been a thorn in my side since I met him! How could I have feelings for him?"

Gray gives her a dry look. "You're kidding, right? Literally everyone could see it. You aren't fooling anyone with all that yelling of yours, babe. You like the punk. Just say so."

"B-but I...I don't…" she can't even find it within herself to finish the sentence. And Gray's eyes are knowing and just so very irksome as he reaches over to pat her shoulder in sympathy, no words having to go between them as they both sit there. Gray is serious and quiet (for once) and Lucy takes the time to mull over her thoughts.

Natsu, her brain frighteningly whispers, you totally like Natsu.

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scene fifteen

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"You two are lovers who are on the verge of divorce," the screenwriter explains from his place beside the director. Flipping through his notes scribbled throughout the manuscript, he speaks to Natsu and Lucy slowly as he continues to summarize the pilot's premise. "Lucy plays Haruhi, the wife who has just found out that Natsu, the husband Kazuki, is cheating on her with a co-worker. You've both memorized your lines, correct?"

Natsu and Lucy don't even look at one another as they both nod.

The screenwriter sighs in relief, confident in the two to bring his story to life, and he signals the director to call the staff into action. The director does so with a wave, and then the cameras are rolling, lights on, and scene in full effect.

"You didn't come home last night. I was worried about you," Lucy says as she approaches Natsu. Her arms are crossed over the silk of her night gown, posture defensive and face contorted into one of concern as she drifts closer. "You really shouldn't accept so many cases, dear. They're working you too hard…"

"It's fine," is all Natsu grunts and their shoulders clash as he walks past her. His expression is stoic, completely blank, and Lucy reaches for him. She wraps her arms around his waist from behind, her forehead now resting against his back. Natsu doesn't move, his own arms hanging limp at his sides.

"It isn't fine," Lucy whispers, holding him tighter, "Lately...lately you haven't been yourself. You're more distant now and so...different. I'm scared. Scared that you're...changing too quickly for me to keep up with."

Natsu tries to step away from her, and he growls out in frustration, "I am not changing. Maybe it's just your paranoia, did you ever think about that? Because I know that I am exactly the same. The same man from yesterday, the same man from last week, I'm no different!"

"You're different from the man I fell in love with!" Lucy cries, clutching at the fabric of his clothes and stopping him from wandering off any further. "Is it something I did? Whatever it is that I did wrong, tell me so I can change! I feel like I'm losing you and I just...I can't handle it!"

He peers down at her, his frown so uncharacteristically deep that Lucy's eyes stretch wide, and she backs away from him in disbelief. "I'm in love with another woman," he roughly admits, and Lucy gasps, tears already on the verge of cascading down her cheeks. But he continues regardless, never breaking eye contact with her, "I no longer love you. Namie is in my life now and I don't know what I'd do without her."

"Namie…" Lucy mouths, slowly shaking her head as she faces Natsu with a betrayed stare. "Y-you mean...you're cheating on me? Your wife for seven years—you're cheating on me?"

"I won't apologize, if that's what you want!" Natsu barks, and he grabs Lucy by her shoulders, glaring at the hateful look in her eyes. "You should've seen this coming. After all the shit you've put me through, you should've known I'd move on!"

"And what did I supposedly put you through, huh? What did I do to send you running off into the arms of another woman?"

"I don't know, fuck!" he bellows into her face, "everything, alright? Just everything! You're so goddamn complicated! I can never tell what you're thinking, what you want from me. It's like...it's like you want me but don't at the same time and it's driving me fucking crazy!"

Lucy smacks Natsu's hands off of her and pushes him back much harder than the script required her to. He stumbles for a moment, but regains his footing, and Lucy looks ready to claw his eyes out. "You act as if you're any better," she hisses and shoves him once more, "you act as if you're this perfect human being who doesn't pull the same shit! In the seven years I've known you, all you do is push and pull and push and pull over and over again! And it's only me you treat this way! What, did that other woman fall for that? Or did you actually treat her like a normal person?"

"At least that other woman appreciates me!" Natsu yells and throws his hands in the air. He begins to stalk around the bedroom, ruffling his hair and narrowing his eyes at the floor. "I got from her what I could only dream of getting from you! God, sometimes you lead me to believe that you fucking hate me!"

"I never hated you, stupid! I loved you with all of my heart since the day I met you, but for you to...for you to actually cheat on me…" Lucy's words falter into silence, and all she has enough strength to do is desperately stare at the man she has loved for as long as she can remember. She chokes back a heart-wrenching sob, "what makes her so special, huh? What does she have that I don't?"

From beyond the cameras, the screenwriter blanches. "That isn't in the script," he silently panics.

"Why did you choose her of all people? Why couldn't you just talk to me?"

Natsu doesn't let his confusion show as Lucy derails off from the original lines and honestly, he has hardly even noticed that she's done so. He walks over to where she stands hugging herself, sneering down at his wife, "and you? Why couldn't you talk to me? If you love me as much as you claim, why did you start a relationship with him?"

"What the hell are they talking about!" the screenwriter wheezes, but the director shushes him, too enthralled by the pair's performance to even dare call a stop to the scene.

"Him?" Lucy repeats, "who are you talking about? I'm not you. I would never—"

"Oh, cut the bullshit!" Natsu cuts her off angrily, and he slams his palm against the door behind her, trapping her between his body and the mahogany wood. "That droopy-eyed bastard. Don't tell me you aren't with him because I know you are. How come you can find someone new but I can't?"

It takes a few seconds, but eventually, realization dawns on Lucy's features, and she gives Natsu and incredulous look. "Hold on, are you talking about Gray?" she snaps, and the scene is officially broken. "You think I'm with Gray? He's just my friend!"

Natsu blinks. "...huh?"

"Gray is nowhere near being romantically involved with me, you fucking idiot!" Lucy clarifies loudly while smacking Natsu upside the head. "You believed those rumors? You, a celebrity, actually believed one news report you saw on television? Are you stupid?"

Natsu shields himself away from Lucy's attacks, stammering, "b-but, no wait a second, I thought…"

"You didn't think at all! God, you're such a mindless turd!"

Catching Lucy's fists and gripping them to his chest so she'd stop swinging them, Natsu gazes at her imploringly, hopeful as he tries to reassure, "so you're not with Gray? You're really not in love with someone else?"

Lucy thumps her forehead against Natsu's with all of her strength, relishing in his flinch of pain before panting at him for all to hear, "yes. I have never, and will never, be in love with someone like Gray. Or anyone else but you, for that mat—"

Her words are swallowed by Natsu's lips pressing onto her own.

.

scene sixteen

.

"Here's your reward," Natsu grumbles as he hands Flare his black card. "I swear, if you tell anyone about this, I will sue you into next week."

Flare's eyes rolls skyward, and she's pinching Natsu's cheek with one hand and plucking his black card out of his grasp with the other as she says, "oh, don't worry your cute little head off, Natsu. I would never tell the world that you're nothing more than a love-struck fool so obsessed with Lucy Heartfilia that you will pay attention whores like me to make her jealous. I do interviews, not reports."

"I'm quoting you on that."

Flare caresses his shoulder and smirks. "Be sure you do," she purrs before strutting off into the crowd. Natsu watches her as she disappears, feeling as if a crippling weight has just been lifted off of his shoulders.

It's then that Lucy appears at his side, and his body relaxes when he feels her arms loop through his, holding him close. "Natsu," she impatiently calls, "what are you doing just standing here? You do know we go on in less than three, right? I don't need you spacing out on stage."

Natsu smiles at Lucy, pecking her cheek with a chaste kiss. "Ditto. With a handsome man like me beside you, there's no way you won't flub out there. You look decent tonight, by the way. Maybe even beautiful...maybe."

Lucy remains thoroughly unimpressed by Natsu's overconfidence and half-baked compliment, but she doesn't comment on either. Instead, she takes the few moments they have left before they present the next award to pull her hands free and adjust his tie. She practically chokes him as she advises, "mind your vocal inflection for once, strawberry."

Natsu grins mockingly. "Only if you stop behaving like you're still a virgin, daffodil," he jokes, and chuckles at the evil glint that seems to spark in Lucy's eyes. Holding her hands back from fumbling with his tie for another two minutes, he laces his fingers with hers, smile genuine and wide as he asks, "you ready to show the world what a real power couple looks like? Or are you too chicken?"

Simpering at the challenge, Lucy tucks a stubborn lock of Natsu's gelled hair behind his ear, the ring on her finger shimmering under the dim lights of the backstage. She scoffs, "I know you are, but am I?"

.

end scene

Author's Note: this is what happens when you're bored and want to continue neglecting the four other stories you've had stuck on ongoing since the beginning of time. I hope you enjoyed this lovely cringe-fest. Wrote it in one sitting (sure you can tell), took me seven hours or so, and I lowkey hate it but still don't think it deserves to be stored away in my fic basement like I've done 99% of the other oneshots I've written. I should do more of these. There's no commitment, just the way I like it. Anyways, that was that. Review this sucker if you wanna and maybe stay tuned for another old fic I thought needed to see the light of day? I dunno...yeah. Bye.

chu~