(Author's Note: Here's a little game you can play as you read this story: see if you can figure out what each reference is from. A list of all the properties referenced is the next chapter. I do not own Doctor Who nor anything else referred to here.)
The Commander sighed and rubbed his temple. This incident was rapidly giving him a decidedly uncomfortable headache. He'd been looking forward to a nice, peaceful weekend with Sheila, eat some pizza, play some Uno… Sheila was an Uno fanatic, you'd think playing it kept her alive. The Commander smiled to think of her…
Reminding himself that his office was no place for smiles, he looked back down at the papers spread out before him. Reminders of how his quiet weekend plans had been dashed by calls from the higher-ups. Things had gone nutzo, some sort of attack at van Statten's bunker, casualties, a rampaging metal-alien-thing, mysterious strangers… he'd had to have several squads of his organization brought in just to get things in order.
The Commander had never liked van Statten, to say the least. Not only was the man arrogant and power-hungry as a person, it was pretty common knowledge that he had a collection of artifacts and evidence of extra-terrestrial influence, items that should be turned over to the government. Nothing was ever done about it, though. Everyone always looked the other way.
They had to. Van Statten owned the internet and had half of Congress in his pocket. The man had climbed the ladder from a young age, and had gone higher than anyone had thought possible. He was large and in charge.
Until, apparently, a couple days ago when it had all blown up in his face. According to reports, he'd had one living specimen chained up in his bunker, though communication attempts had been unsuccessful. This had changed when two intruders inexplicably appeared in the bunker, a mysterious doctor and a young British woman.
Shortly after they appeared, according to witnesses, whatever it was van Statten had chained up got loose and went on a killing spree through the bunker.
After it killed much of van Statten's personal army, the two strangers destroyed it, or it destroyed itself, or something. The accounts were rather confused about what exactly happened then. Anyway, the alien was destroyed, and the two strangers disappeared along with an employee of van Statten's.
That was when the Commander's people had been called in. While he'd been irritated about postponing his weekend, some of the others were actually excited. They didn't often get sudden, emergency missions, UNIT or sometimes Torchwood usually snatched those up. For his team, it was usually just paperwork.
Speaking of which… the Commander dragged his attention back to his papers. It was a list of all the contraband and alien artifacts that his team had confiscated from van Statten's collection. He was giving it another look, just to makes sure everything on it was accurate (as far as he could tell, anyway.)
==Document 42: Artifacts Recovered from Site 10-17==
-(More detailed descriptions on each item found in attached documents)-
1. The head of what appears to be a cybernetic organism, resembling the invaders from incidents Beta, Epsilon, and Iota. (See document reports of same designations)
2. A sliver cylinder, approximately a foot long. When button on the side is pushed, a beam of blue light extends out of one end with a distinctive "hissing" sound.
3. Two average-looking shirts, each with an insignia on the left breast resembling an upward-pointing arrow. One is yellow and in fairly good condition, the other is red and severely torn and charred.
4. A severed and stuffed arm of an alien species, possibly the Slitheen species from Incident 1-4.
5. Green finger ring sporting a simple design resembling a circle between two horizontal lines, resembling the prominent symbol on the uniform of [CLASSIFIED DATA].
6. An intricately-forged sword made out of an unknown metal. The most prominent feature is a carving on the hilt of an unknown castle with its gateway in the shape of a skull.
7. A tablet-like device made out of an unknown plastic-like substance, with the words "DON'T PANIC" printed on the front.
8. A small rocket, approximately three feet high and two-and-a-half feet wide, with a cockpit sort of area in the center, though no controls are visible in it. Among other things, it contains a seat made out of a leather-like material, big enough for an average-sized humanoid infant.
9. The top half of an android, somewhat resembling a humanoid skeleton with an elongated, horse-like head, presumably containing a computer. It had apparently been severed from the bottom half, and was in disrepair.
Addendum: while being lifted into the transport van, the thing seemingly activated and said "Roger-roger," in an electronic imitation of a human voice. It repeated this phrase so many times that one of the operatives handling it kicked the head until it stopped. The operative was put on probation, but stated that "it was driving [him] crazy!"
10. A folder containing seven photographs, all blurry and dark, showing some sort of indecipherable, dark form. The folder is marked "Xenomorph". Detailed analysis of photographs and investigation into the meaning the label is pending.
11. A green, ancient Roman style helmet, built of unknown materials.
12. A book approximately a foot long and nine inches wide, consisting of similar material to Item #7, but in the shape of a more traditional book. "TO SERVE MAN" is written on the front cover.
13. Diagrams of what appears to be an extremely advanced geometrical form, indicating to be a new way to travel in space. Design is labeled as a "Tesseract". Scientists will be brought in to study it at a later date.
14. Disassembled pieces of extra-terrestrial vehicle, theorized to be, when repaired, a three-legged "tripod" approximately a hundred feet tall. Some materials appear to be similar to the elements Item #11 is made of.
15. Pieces of an unknown mineral that appears to not reflect light. While unclear, it is speculated that the united pieces form a sort of monolith.
16. A transparent box made of unidentified material, containing a gelatinous mass of a shade of red similar to blood.
Addendum: Operatives on the scene have given testimonies of the mass slowly increasing in size. Such reports have yet to be deemed credible.
17. A fake novelty mustache, made of unidentifiable material. When worn, the wearer suddenly speaks a variety of languages.
18. A vintage Speak-and-Spell toy, in good condition.
Addendum: when tested out for abnormal features, it was discovered that no matter what is typed in the only words it will say are "Phone home". Additionally, the keys for "E" and "T" stick.
19. A cracked glass helmet, with "PROPERTY OF COLONEL BLEEP" inscribed on it.
20. A spacesuit with green and purple trim. While similar to spacesuits in use by NASA, the material it is made of appears to be made out of plastic similar to the kind in children's toys.
21. An average academic notebook, containing fifty leaves not resembling any known terrestrial plant. They are seemingly labeled in an unidentifiable language. On the last page is inscribed, in rough English, "Is good to be doing business with you, Supreme Earth Potentate."
==End of Document 42==
The Commander rubbed his head again. Bunch'a crazy stuff, probably would take months to sort out… oh well, the sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could get back home to Sheila.
That thought was what got him through as he gave the document his stamp of approval and moved on to his next task.