It's warm, but not hot. Comfortable. There's a light breeze; it stirs his hair and feels so good he just stands there for a while, drinking it in.

He's wearing jeans, a flannel shirt, boots. Clean.

It doesn't hurt anymore, but how?

It's like late fall, leaves beginning to turn. Gold and auburn and purple and crisp yellow blanket fading emerald grass,and the sky is pearly gray, early evening light filtering through trees, dappling the walkways.

It smells like coffee and maybe hotdogs and cigarettes, he can hear a faint rush of traffic , and strangely the foghorn of a ferry.

There's a soft murmur of voices, somewhere, but he can't see anyone. He's walking aimlessly, it might be Central Park, it might be anywhere, really.

There are footsteps up ahead and he sees a tall dark haired man loping along, a little boy bouncing at his side.

The man smiles sadly at him,but passes him by. The child has a shock of dark hair and eyes that remind him of his mother's; he wonders how many secrets he left unheard.

And then they're gone and he's alone again, he feels like he's searching for something - someone? - but has no clue where to go.

Or where he is, or why, or how he got here, but it's nice, sort of. Peaceful.

He finds it up ahead, sitting angled slightly away from him on a park bench that seems familiar; a pocketknife and initials come to mind, sentimental silliness, but up close the bench is smooth unscarred wood.

"Fancy seeing you here," she says, blue eyes unsurprised, hand curled around a coffee cup.

"Where is here?"

"I don't know."

"Well,if you're here, it must be-"

"Oh, no. It's not. It's not heaven,like in the storybooks where you dangle your feet of a cloud and watch everyone below you and angels sing and there are golden gates- if it was I don't think I'd have got in at all."

"Then what?"

"I've been here a little longer than you , so... I think it's , you know. An - after. It's not perfect, it still hurts a little. But it's nice."

"It is."he agrees,and he watches the breeze stir her crimson curls. Watches her breathe.

"Why are you here?" he asks.

"I don't know,exactly. I just wanted to get away."

" You sure did."she snorts."And now you're stuck with me."

"I want to be ." he says. Truthfully.

"You didn't do it on purpose?!" she exclaims,eyes wide.

"Wh-No. No, Addie, I was a little to the left,he was a little to the right, it was just happened,I don't remember much."

"He?"

"Semi."

She winces, running light fingers over his skin. "You look...like always."

"So do you."

And she does,she looks beautiful and healthy and more alive than he's seen her in a while, her favorite black trench over his favorite red dress and heels.

"It's so quiet,here." she says,"Except the baby, can you hear it? It's crying and crying but I can't find it."

All he can hear is the faint sounds of a ballgame , maybe, cheers and yells.

"No."

"Maybe it's personalised." she laughs unsteadily. "Are we the only two here?"

"No, I saw...people."

"I didn't."

"That's good, isn't it? Means you didn't lose anyone." He says.

"Except you."

"Well,I'm here now."

There's a creak of metal chains behind them, and they turn to the high chain fence to see a playground.

There's a little girl on the swings, red hair whipping behind her,toes pointed into the dull sky.

She looks at them with twinkling blue eyes,smiling, her little hand clutching worn chains,and she's half out of her seat before he can hold her.

"She'll fall!"

"You can't help her now."he says softly,reeling.

"Let me go." she yanks at his grasp, eyes fixed on the precariously swinging child who doesn't seem to hear her distress.

"When?" he whispers.

She slumps back down, defeated. "A few weeks before... everything."

"You never told me."

"It was barely even anything, just two weeks along. You weren't there."

It's true,he wasn't. He was in- oh, god knows. It doesn't matter now.

He feasts his eyes on the sight of her, commits to memory her little nose, the tilt of her chin,the shape of her face,the shade of her eyes.

"I should have told you." she says.

"I should have let you."

One more regret, one more missed chance. So many already, what's one more?

"I'm sorry,"he sighs into her hair. Holds her tight, savors the movement of her ribs against his.

Rise,fall.

"Me too."

The wind picks up, colder now,blowing off the dark rippling water,and she shivers.

"Make it stop crying."

"What?"

"The baby," she sobs,folding over."I can't find it."

Neither can he.

Apparently the after is a personalised blend of happy and sad.

"Shh."he says ineffectually."The baby's okay."

"No its not." she says dully."I made sure of that."

"It'll be okay."he soothes.

And it will, it feels like it will because here,they have forever.

"What do you see?" he asks,half curious and half to distract her.

"Me? The Empire State Building,over there,and for some reason there were stables, and it's weird but it was like summer over there but over there it's like winter,ice skating because the lake is 's cold. And it ...it's like fall here,fall in New York. The Park,remember that? When we first started dating?"

"Yeah,"he grins. He sees it too.

"The bench - Derek. The bench."she gets up, peering under at the slats of the bench.

"It won't be there." he says.

"Why?"

"It can't all be perfect."

She sighs. "I wish it could."

"It's almost perfect," he says,drawing her close, staring into the deep blue he thought he'd never see again. "You're here, I'm here. It's pretty perfect."

She kisses him then, salty tears and soft lips. "You shouldn't be here."

"Neither should you."

"I'm sorry." they say at the same time,and she laughs,and this time he leans in to kiss her.

" It took us this," she gestures around at their shifting surroundings "To be together?"

"At least we get forever."he says,lacing their fingers together.

"We do?"

"I guess. Who knows."

"Who knows," she echoes faintly. "I'm okay with forever."

"Oh,I'm more than okay."

"We could have had more if we hadn't-"

"Died?"

She flinches. "Hm. We could have...been amazing surgeons. Had kids."

"We were amazing surgeons. And as for kids..."

She's still swinging, staring into the darkening sky.

"We'll be fine?"

"We will." he promises.

"What do you think they're doing? The rest of them?"

"Crying."

"God ,I hope not."she shudders. "I want them to be happy. Like I am, right now."

"I am too!"

"It's not a competition!"

"Whatever."

She's quiet for a while, watching the swing arc higher.

"Hey Addie?"

"Yeah?"

"We could have had a damn good time together."

"Oh god,not that cheesy line again."she groans.

"Come on,say it!"

"No."

"It's a moment ,Addie,you're ruining it!"

"No I'm not,"she says fiercely,her lips rough against his." We're having a damn good time together, we have all the time in the - not the world,but whatever this is. So I'm not saying the line."

"Fine by me."he smiles.

It sounds better than the line he wanted.

The little girl soars higher behind them, laughing, and her hand is safe and warm in his, and it feels just fine.

The (Real )End

Apologies, for the last chapter. This is penance.For the confused readers; yes,I killed Derek too. SORRY! I hope this makes you feel a bit better; since I went off my rocker in the last chapter I decided there was no harm going crazycakes with this one.I swear I wasn't high or drunk while I wrote it.Please let me know what you thought!And now, The End,for real.