Everything Wrong With: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

Episode One: The First Turnabout

Spoilers... duh

"The start of the series." *starts with negative one sin count

(On the clock) "Pink blood." *ding

"Murder mystery game shows us who the culprit is for the first time in a long, long series." *ding

"Murderer narrates to himself at the scene of the crime." *ding

"Mia Fey." *removes a sin

("Not everyone takes on a murder trial right off the bat like this.") "Unless you're a lawyer in this series, in which case it's the only sort of trial you take on." *ding

"Larry Butz isn't annoying as fuck yet. He's actually okay in this episode." *ding

"Winston Payne isn't annoying as fuck yet. He's actually okay in this episode." *ding

"The judge pulls some weird readiness test on Phoenix and... never does it again for the rest of the series to anyone else. Why is that?" *ding

"Larry Butz doesn't know what being dumped means, so the series goes on to teach it to him many times over. Seems fair, right?" *ding

"Cindy Stone was a model and had several sugar daddies, but still lived in a tiny, not-very-nice apartment frequented by thieves because... plot." *ding

"Frank Sahwit felt the need to report his own crime to the police, even though he could have done nothing and gotten away with it. Frank Sahwit is the first in a long list of series culprits that foil their own plot." *ding

"Also, Frank Sahwit's shoulders." *ding

"How did Phoenix graduate law school with no idea how to cross-examine? Apollo, Mia, and Athena all at least know what it is when they start out." *ding

"Frank Sahwit is a terrible liar." *ding

(Pursuit theme plays) *removes a sin

"The hair throw." *ding

(Phoenix is about to give up when) "Mentor ex machina." *ding

("Or should I say, Mr. Did it?") "Bad puns." *ding

"This court session was only twenty minutes long. Seeing as I'm in a middle of sinning Turnabout Revolution, that's actually quite a relief." *no sin

(Phoenix explains Sahwit's motive) "Narration." *ding

"Why did returning to the defendant lobby take three hours? That never gets explained." *ding

"Larry Butz thinks murder weapons are an appropriate present for a woman. This is ultimately how The Thinker Clock is able to claim a second victim, and I partially blame Larry for Mia's murder, goddammit." *ding

(Mia's closing speech) "More narration." *ding

"Also, ending narration. This case is half narration, when you think about it. And considering how short it is, that's not a good thing." *ding

Total Sin Tally: 18

Sentence: Toupee to the Face

A/N's: Yeah, I'm over three thousand words in the second part of Turnabout Revolution right now, and the trial has barely started. I wanted to do something else for a bit, and what better way to announce the next game to get sinned than to start sinning? I'm probably going to finish SoJ before I do Turnabout Sisters, though. In the meantime, enjoy this little teaser.