WARNING; Rated M for future m/m and adult themes, this is not going to be a CG/Ana fic. It will be a CG/Taylor

Chapter 46;

Jack Hyde had the audacity to enter GEH dressed like a stereotypical college philosophy major. Christian had raised an eyebrow when Jack had been escorted into Christian's office by a grumpy looking Roz. He was wearing a pair of skin-tight black denim jeans which highlighted his long, skinny runner legs and his lack of ass or thighs. His feet looked clownish in comparison to the thinness of his legs; size 12, brown leather Chelsea boots, the material of which matched his belt and dusty brown leather coat he'd hung up on the cloak stand by Christian's office door. And of course he'd also wrapped himself up in an oversized woollen grey scarf. If he'd come carrying a Starbucks the look would have been complete but instead he'd come baring gifts; his work laptop, a bottle of wine and a bottle of Gin.

He was a peculiar man, interesting and intriguing to look at. Christian found himself oddly captivated by his dirty blonde hair and how it flopped over his face every time he laughed, requiring one of his large, bony hands to push it back off his face. He'd a beautiful smile too, actually, with large white teeth that caught the lamp lights and dazzled brightly in Christian's dimly lit office.

They'd spent most of the evening discussing SIP and how the merger into GEH had been going, talking about achieved milestones and those yet to be met. Christian watched through his office glass as his employees gradually vacated to their homes as the hours past. And with each exiting body, and each drink, Jack and Christian's conversations meandered from business to personal.

Just how he and Taylor had started.

Christian flinched as he thought about Taylor and how each day he would sit in Christian's office on these very sofas, watching over him whilst doing some side work to occupy his time. Christian closed his eyes tightly as he imagined that it was Taylor he was sat with, not Jack Hyde. He thought he could smell Taylor's aftershave; the memory of his musky, male scent was hauntingly clear to him.

"-and then he passed out," Jack laughed, concluding a story which Christian had tried to follow though, truthfully, he hadn't really succeeded in doing so as he fought to keep from thinking about all the times Jason Taylor had shot him that arrogant, crooked, smirk and cocked eyebrow from these seats.

"Wow," Christian replied, lifting up his gin glass and taking a long sip. He wasn't drunk by any means, but he could feel a warm buzz descending over his mind. It was a welcomed feeling, given how cold he'd felt since Taylor had walked out of Escala without so much as a goodbye.

No, Christian thought, that wasn't fair. He'd pushed Taylor away. And Taylor had said goodbye in his note. The memory, of which, was sobering.

Christian stood to refill their glasses, his legs a little dizzy as the drinking started to truly catch up with him. Ryans head shot up and he noticed the sudden movement from through the glass wall outside of the office. He'd lingered for about two hours, listening to Christian and Jack discuss business and potential new sites for SIP to work outwith, but had bowed out when both men finished their third drinks. He had made himself comfortable in Andrea's seat at main reception, taking advantage of a near empty building to catch up on some of the security procedures Taylor had implemented in his first week of working with Christian.

That felt like a lifetime ago now.

Christian waved an 'it's okay' to the stout bodyguard, banishing Taylor from his mind again as he poured himself another generous gin, refilling Jack's wine glass. Jack was here to talk business and that would offer him enough of a distraction

"So," Jack said, a question in his tone, "You and Taylor. Were you two…together?" Christian's stomach knotted as he sat back down on the sofa beside Jack, "You don't need to answer. I just sorta… got that vibe."

"Brave to be prying into your CEO's love life," Christian muttered, sitting forward and leaning on his arms, "Not really appropriate conversation," he added. He'd spent all night and morning grieving Taylor's exit, he didn't want to spend another night sleepless and sobbing over a bottle of tomato ketchup.

Christian narrowed his eyes and glared, trying to look extra intimidating and annoyed to keep Jack from going on about Taylor.

"I know," Jack shrugged, looking down at his wine glass like a kicked puppy. Christian almost felt bad for trying to look angrier than he actually was, "But I just thought, if you were together, and now he's gone, that you'd maybe like a friend to talk about it with. Because I get it, you know. My boyfriend broke up with me recently and it sucks."

Christian frowned and looked at Jack's profile. With his head bowed down like it was, his floppy blonde hair fell over his face again, though Christian could still see the hollowed out pain in his brown eyes, "When did you break up?"

"A couple of months ago," Jack shrugged again, sitting up and running a hand back through his hair. He then smiled at Christian though it was blatantly just for show, "It was a mutual thing; we'd just grown apart and decided to call it quits before we started to resent each other. Still doesn't get easier," Jack suddenly laughed, "Hell, this is the first time I've had a drink with someone that's not late night TV."

"I thought you were supposed to be going to Japan again with him?" Christian asked, recalling the many conversations Jack had about going back to visit the country which had stolen his heart and whose culture he proudly collected artefacts from and displayed them all over his office. Taylor had thought the man's obsession was creepy but Christian liked how passionate Jack was about something different. It was a strange hobby but Christian wasn't really one to comment considering he had a sex room in his apartment.

"I'll still go," Jack smiled again and shrugged his shoulders, "His ticket's up for grabs if you know someone that wants a guided tour around Tokyo, in English."

"I'll bear that in mind," Christian mused, looking at Jack's wine-flushed face. His honesty had rattled Christian, truth be known. Jack had just opened up about something very personal, which was obviously still very raw to him, and he'd opened up to Christian. That displayed a level of trust which Christian was honoured to receive, and there appeared to be a catharsis element in doing so because Jack looked more relaxed and smiling a little more sincerely again. Maybe doing the same would help relieve the pain Christian was also feeling?

"I don't know…what Taylor and I were," he admitted and licked his lips. He realised he was desperate to talk to someone. In Elena's absence, Jack Hyde was the closest thing he had to an ally who might understand the turmoil Christian was experiencing, "We certainly weren't…professional," he laughed, feeling his eyes welling up suddenly as he imagined Taylor's dumb smirking face. That dumb way his right eyebrow would cock up and his dumb lips would pull up at one side smugly.

Christian sniffed and cleared his throat, "But it was getting too much for us both to handle and he needed to go."

"Break ups aren't easy," Jack said firmly, "Even if the relationship hits a natural conclusion."

"I didn't really think we were in a relationship to start with," Christian admitted, unable to stop talking now that he'd started, "We never stopped and had that conversation and, to be honest, I've never had a generic relationship before. I suppose he was my first."

Jack's eyes went wide suddenly and Christian cursed.

"No, he wasn't my first-first," he grumbled, "I've had sex. Plenty of it. It's just, my sex life before Taylor was pre-arranged, scheduled hook-ups. Nothing illegal, just well organised given how busy my work life is," he sighed, "With Taylor it was more casual and spontaneous. It just, sort of, happened. And neither of us stopped to put a label on it," Christian laughed, "We were enjoying it too much."

"Wow," Jack whistled, looking at his now empty glass. He stood up on wobbly legs and took Christian's glass, which Christian suddenly realised was empty too. Jeez, he needed to slow down, "I never would have thought Taylor was gay."

"He's not gay," Christian objected and smiled as he remembered who defensive Taylor would become whenever his sexuality was brought into question, "He's just…I don't know but he wouldn't want to be called gay. It's not easy for someone like him to be with a man."

"So Taylor couldn't come to terms with being with a man, so you broke up?" Jack guessed, wrongly.

Christian shook his head, watching as Jack poured them both a shot of something alongside their drinks, "No, that wasn't it. I mean, it was an issue but I think it's something we could have worked through," he sighed, thanking Jack for his drink, "The…break up…was because Taylor admitted that…he loved me."

"So he loves you, and you broke up with him," Jack repeated, unable to hide the amusement from his face whilst Christian tackled the shot he was given. He grimaced as his mouth suddenly burnt; whisky. "That's an unusual one."

"I'm just all over the place," Christian coughed, clearing away the nippy taste with his gin, however even that was poured far too strong for his palate, "It's just hard to explain, Jack. Taylor deserves better than what I could ever offer him; he's better off without me poisoning his life. Because, you know, that's what I am; I come from poison. I am poison. Any future with me is poison."

Jack shook his head firmly, reaching out and grasped Christian's knee tightly. The contact made Christian jump slightly, looking down at the large, foreign, hand suddenly in his personal space, "You're not poison. Don't think that way."

"I am though," Christian groaned, "You just don't…get it, Jack. It's hard to explain to someone that's not endured it," he closed his eyes tightly as a sudden flash back of his mother burnt through his mind. God, he felt sick thinking about her. Or maybe the drink was finally catching up with him?

"Taylor got it," Christian continued, swallowing back the nausea, "Taylor knew what I went through, you know? We both started out in Detroit, we both had shitty parents who picked addiction over us. My mother was a junkie, his dad was an alcoholic. Both were fucking neglectful. I ended up in care, you know."

"I do know, actually," Jack admitted shyly. Christian watched as he sat back in his seat, turning to look Christian dead in the eye, "I was in the same home as you, actually. I didn't want to mention it 'cause it sounds stalkerish. Plus Taylor never gave us any time alone to really talk, you know?" Jack asked rhetorically, "Mum threw herself in front of a train. Dad never wanted me. Ended up in the system until I went to college."

"Shit, Jack," Christian whistled, "I never knew that I knew you, you know?" Fuck Christian needed to stop drinking, he didn't feel like he was making sense whatsoever anymore.

"You were pretty much adopted when I knew you," Jack mumbled lowly, his head bowed oncemore and his fringe covering his eyes again, "I remember meeting Grace and Carrick. Your mom was so kind to me, I genuinely thought she was going to take me too, you know? But she never came back once you were gone. Then I got shipped off to my fifth foster home."

"Jack, I never knew," Christian slurred, placing his hand on Jack's knee now, "I'm so sorry."

Jack's head snapped back up and he fixed Christian with a big, wolfish, grin, "Hey, these things happen for reasons, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, I suppose they do," Christian mumbled, "Taylor never told me that we knew each other before."

"I don't think even the State know exactly how many homes I've been to," Jack shrugged, "We're not all lucky like you; to get adopted straight away by a wealthy, powerful family. Some of us had to hustle to survive."

"True," Christian muttered, taking another sip of his drink, "Taylor started drugs," he blurted out which felt like an instant mistake. Taylor would never want someone like Jack knowing about the adversities he'd faced growing up. But Christian couldn't help it; he was drunk, he was heartbroken and he was alone. Jack Hyde felt like the first person he could really speak to about his 'non-relationship' with Jason Taylor. Elena was in jail and Elliot couldn't go a sentence without saying 'fag' or 'queer'.

"I miss him so badly," Christian whispered, his eyes watering as he felt a crushing weight being lifted from down on his chest as he finally said out loud what he'd been tormenting himself with, "I think I love him too, Jack."

"Even though he's a junkie?" Jack frowned, "Like your mom? How could you trust someone like that? After all the people we met in that Children's home, you surely know how impossible it is to stay clean."

"Don't call him a junkie," Christian growled defensively, "He's not a junkie, Jack, he's a Marine. He's recovered. He's not using and he won't ever again."

"Okay, okay," Jack said, holding his hands up, "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."

Christian sighed and sat back in his chair. He suddenly noticed how painful his bladder was and stood up to address the issue. However the minute Christian stood up the room began to spin violently. He felt sick again. Where was Taylor?

"Christian?" Jack called, suddenly holding Christian's hand, "Can I do something?"

"Sure," Christian shrugged, looking at their interlocking fingers. It felt oddly nice to hold his hand, his fingers not as bony or uncomfortable as Christian would have imagined from studying them so closely this evening. And he liked how Jack's thumb brushed against his.

"Close your eyes," Jack instructed. Christian did exactly as asked, the room no longer whirling which was good. He felt Jack taking his other hand in his, able to smell the man's fruity aftershave right in front of him. It smelt good, not as good as Taylor's but still it was a pleasant scent over the smell of alcohol.

Suddenly, Christian felt Jack's mouth against his own, Jack's lips caressing Christian's before he felt Jack's wet tongue carefully make its way into Christian's mouth. It was a move which startled him momentarily, Christian hesitating before his tongue began to work against Jack's on instinct.

Taylor was always very delicate when it came to kissing, even if they were both hard as hell and desperate to fuck. Taylor always took the time to caress the back of Christian's head, tilt his chin gently before licking his tongue against Christian's. They'd start of slowly until they were burning hot and grabbing for the lube but even then, Taylor would lay his forehead against Christian's and smirk smugly, as if he'd won a competition and kissing Christian was the prize. And then he'd bite and pull on Christian's lip which was almost always the final straw.

Kissing Jack was nothing like that. He was pleasant enough, with a decent technique but it wasn't Taylor's lips. Those smug, squint lips smirking down at Christian at a crooked angle. Kissing anyone other than Jason Taylor felt like an absolute betrayal.

"Jack," Christian mumbled, sobering up as he took a step back from Jack and looked up at the taller man, "I can't."

"You can," Jack shrugged, "You're single now. If you wanted we could both go 'fuck it' and have hot, sweaty, no strings attached sex on your desk. Unless…" he mused, theatrically stroking his stubbled jaw.

"Unless what?" Christian frowned, wiping the taste of Jack away from his mouth.

"Unless you don't think you love Taylor," Jack pointed out, "but you know you love Taylor. And if you love Taylor, you need to let him know before he's gone for good."

Christian's perplexity only intensified as he studied Jack's handsome face, "Did you just kiss me to prove a point?"

"I kissed you so you'd realise that you do, in fact, have feelings for Taylor," Jack shrugged, "And I reckon you need to go call him and make him aware."

"Shit," Christian suddenly laughed, realising that Jack was completely right; he did love Taylor. Fucking hell, he cursed under his breath as he stepped back, "I'm in love with Jason Taylor."

"Yeah?" Jack chuckled as well, flopping back on the sofa and grinning up proudly, "Are you gonna tell him that?"

"I'm gonna-" Christian gasped suddenly, remembering his burning bladder and the last few heavy drinks as he grabbed his bursting dick, "Fuck I'm gonna piss myself," he called as he made a bolt to the office en suite.