A/N: So...this story isn't really a story but more of a collection of one-shots based on some very silly conversations between me and one of my best friends. Each chapter is a different prompt dedicated to how Shadi, one of the exposition characters, is always late, whether it be providing exposition or anything else. Shadi is always late. Period. He explains things only to not actually do anything about it half the time. If you guys ever want to send in an idea for a prompt, feel free to do so by either leaving that idea in the review box or a PM, whichever one will work.
Note: I am writing these little one-shots purely for laughs, so don't take this story seriously...like at all.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of its lucrative spinoffs. (Get used to the word lucrative. You'll be seeing that word a lot. Muhahahahaha!)
PROMPT 1: Yugi is the only survivor after a boat sinks and has washed up on the shore of an island a great distance away from the wreckage. Shadi happens to be on the island, waiting to tell Yugi something of great importance.
The harsh sound of his own labored breathing was the only thing Yugi Muto heard as he strained to drag himself out of the ocean's current and to the sandy shore of a deserted island that was, at that moment, shrouded in the eerie light of the pale, full moon. In the expanse of nothingness above him, the ethereal sphere cast a glow along the small mass of land and marked it as a beacon of hope despite the dire nature of his current circumstances.
The sixteen year-old duelist has no concept of what time it is when his fingers finally claw at the sand, although he's certain it is past the midnight hour.
Everything happened so fast. One minute he was completely alone in his room, enjoying a somewhat extravagant five-course meal on a cruise headed toward a tournament Kaiba was hosting in Australia and in the next...
In hindsight, Yugi realized he probably should have suspected some form of foul play back when Kaiba first informed him of the new competition. After all, only two weeks had passed since the end of the Battle City Tournament, way too soon for another tournament to be underway, but the C.E.O. had been sharply adamant about it, making a point to personally pay for Yugi's travel expenses. The King of Games tried desperately to say no to the elaborate gesture, but after a good three hours of listening to Kaiba rant about how he'd stolen his perfect victory in Battle City, Yugi finally relented and agreed to go to Australia for the new tournament.
He even allowed the C.E.O. to arrange the mode of transportation, figuring he would choose the obvious choice, plane travel.
But no...
Practicality was not part of Kaiba's brilliant scheme to kill off his competition.
Once again, Yugi Muto should have seen the signs of a convoluted plot around the time his rival suggested a relaxing cruise trip while also instructing him to leave the Egyptian God Cards in Domino, as they would not be permitted for tournament play. Yami certainly hadn't been a fan of that idea. To him, the entire thing seemed to have "Trap" written all over it, but he didn't want to destroy Yugi's faith in Kaiba. After all, the bitter brunette had proven he could set his ego aside when the fate of the world was at stake, although...
He did detonate the Duel Tower on Kaiba Corp. Island about an hour after the previous tournament ended, which had put them all in a near death situation. If not for the emergency crew that had been sent out to transport Joey to a hospital earlier that same day, the company would have been liable for multiple deaths.
Clearly Seto Kaiba held no qualms about possibly murdering people, especially after losing a children's card game to his arch nemesis.
Really, the Pharaoh and his present day counterpart should have seen this coming from a mile away.
Groaning softly, Yugi slowly meandered to his feet, stumbling stiffly along the sand as he moved toward a thicket of vegetation about half a mile away from the expansive beach. He stopped once he was sure he'd traveled far enough from the water as to not get pulled back into its dark depths.
The ship had been sabotaged.
Or rather, the ship's engine had been blown to pieces.
The resulting shockwave and debris created a giant hole near the bottom of the massive boat, causing it to steadily sink to its doom. As far as Yugi is aware, he is the only survivor.
On the contrary, the passengers and the crew manning the ship had all been employees at Kaiba Corp. Said employees were given strict orders to make the current King of Games believe he was on a real cruise liner instead of a vessel owned by Seto Kaiba himself. The employees were then ordered to lay waste to the ship's engine in whatever manner possible and blow a hole through the bottom of the boat. From there, they were to initiate a quiet evacuation to which everyone but Yugi would escape.
Truly, it was a remarkably well-thought out plan.
Unfortunately, Yugi Muto has main character status. He couldn't die even if he wanted to.
So, though soaked down to the bone and very weary, the hero of this series is alive and unharmed. The duffel bag holding his duel disk and a supply of emergency provisions had been lost to the sea, but he felt oddly fortunate to have gone on the cruise alone without his friends or his grandpa. If they had been on the ship too...well, Yugi would have felt a whole lot worse in this moment. Knowing they were safe granted him a little bit of a reprieve.
Apparently, Kaiba had a whole separate plan for Joey Wheeler and the rest of Yugi's friends. This one involved multiple explosions, a metal pipe, and even a musical number.
Don't ask. Just don't ask. We here at Yu-Gi-Oh Enterprises are only certain of one thing.
The C.E.O. of Kaiba Corporation has completely lost his mind.
Anyway, Yugi was also grateful to know the Millennium Puzzle still hung around his neck and figured its magic must have protected him from the violent waves and the multitude of carnivorous animals below the salty, black depths.
What really protected him was his main character status, but that fact isn't something Yugi really needs to know.
Shaking from mild hypothermia, the King of Games tore off the jacket of his school uniform, tossing it to his right before falling backward into the sand. Despite the coolness of the night, the dusty landscape beneath him felt warm. Hopefully it would be enough to get his body temperature back to a normal level.
"Now what?" he wondered hopelessly, still breathing heavily as he stared at the bright stars above him. "How am I going to get back home?"
"Yugi...not to alarm you, but I sense a presence headed this way."
The violet-eyed boy merely groaned. "Seriously? Is it a dangerous presence?"
"It could be," Yami answered mentally, his spirit form now standing tall next to him. "I'm not sure."
With a loud sigh of exasperation, Yugi forced himself up into a sitting position. For a few seconds the pair allowed silence to engulf the air around them, save for the sound of waves crashing along the coast.
Casting his gaze on the wreckage a distance from the island, the young duelist clenched his fists. "I can't believe Kaiba would do all this just to get rid of me. I thought he wanted to defeat me fairly."
Yami shrugged, keeping his gaze on the jungle behind them. "Perhaps there's another power at work here? Or maybe Kaiba simply...went insane."
Still shaking a little, Yugi stood. "I'd like to say it's the former, but more than likely it's the latter. Yami, the others might be..."
"Yugi Muto!"
Despite his efforts to remain calm, the person in question couldn't help but jump at the loud shout directed his way. With his teeth bared and his violet eyes dilated in fright, the teen turned to face the new voice.
He was instantly relieved and annoyed to find Shadi standing there.
This could only mean one thing.
As rage settled around Yugi's consciousness, the Egyptian man started to speak.
"Yugi Muto, I have come here to tell you that in a few hours..."
Holding up a hand, the violet-eyed boy interrupted him. "Shadi. Stop." Pausing, he lifted his right arm and pointed to the ocean. "You came to warn me about that, right?"
Shadi, looking confused, stared at the space the teen was indicating. "Oh..."
Yugi sighed. "Nuff said?"
"Nuff said," the Egyptian replied, "However, that wasn't the only thing I needed to tell you."
"It's not?"
"No."
The boy with tri-colored hair blinked rapidly in avid shock at this turn of events. He couldn't believe it. Yes, this was certainly a first. Shadi had a terrible habit of revealing events of the future...after they had already happened.
Yugi speculated that perhaps Shadi would tell him what Kaiba's next move was or the secret to getting back to Domino before his God Cards were stolen by the greedy C.E.O. who blatantly tried to kill him...again.
Feeling excited, the boy stepped forward with a look of hope plastered across his panda-like features. "Okay, Shadi. Let's hear it."
Clearing his throat, the Egyptian playing oracle began to speak. "Yugi Muto. In a few hours..."
"Yes..."
"...the sun will rise."
Silence.
Then more silence.
And more silence still.
The air between the two visible people remained silent for so long that Yami got tired of waiting and started playing card games by himself, shouting out things like, "I summon the Dark Magician in attack mode" before doing an impression of Kaiba summoning his Blue-Eyes, although instead of saying Blue-Eyes he muttered something along the lines of "Blue Peeps Whitey Dragon", or so we here at Yu-Gi-Oh enterprises speculate.
What we don't have to speculate is the amount of bitter rage pouring out from Yugi Muto's countenance.
Finally, after a very long period of absolute silence aside from Yami trying and failing to alleviate the tension in a rather uncharacteristic fashion, Yugi turned away from Shadi and spoke.
"Pharaoh."
Yami stopped talking to himself. "Yes, Yugi."
The teen simply pointed at Shadi over his shoulder using his thumb. "Would you mind..." He tapered off, wiggling his eyebrows slightly as a sign to his dueling partner.
A look of horror spread across the ancient pharaoh's face
"A-are you...sure?" he sputtered out. "Yugi...isn't that a bit too...extreme?"
Yugi just laughed, his expression mirroring one of Yami Bakura's famous evil smirks. "We are trapped on an island with no way back home and this guy just told me that he's here solely for the purpose of telling me that the sun is going to rise in a few hours. Yami...please...only you can do this."
Shadi scratched the back of his head, clearly showcasing his confusion. He couldn't see the Pharaoh at the moment, so to him it just looked like Yugi was rambling nonsensically to the air.
With a solemn expression, Yami nodded. "Very well then. Let me take over."
Laughing a little maniacally, Yugi allowed the spirit of his puzzle take control over him. Shadi responded by kneeling before him, saying the usual things such as, "My king! What a great honor it is to see you."
Yami groaned. "Yugi...I'm not sure I should do this..."
"Kaiba is probably plotting out how he's going to kill our friends thanks to this guy's incompetence. Show no mercy!"
Letting out a sigh, Yami turned to the Egyptian rising to his feet again.
"Shadi."
"Yes, my king?"
"Here goes..."
After taking a deep breath, Yami unleashed a torrent of foul words one should never speak, especially in the way he was speaking them now.
"Shadi! You bleep of all the bleeps of bleep bleep bleep and bleep of bleep..."
Here at Yu-Gi-Oh Enterprises, we are not permitted to showcase cursing or coarse language of any kind. For this reason, the above and following dialogue have been censored for our younger viewers.
And by censored, we mean cut out almost entirely.
"...And that is why you are nothing more than a useless, stale, untoasted pop-tart! What is even the point of your character at this point!? Tell me! Tell me now you unworthy bleep of bleep on top of more bleeps with a layer of rotten cheese fondue and pickle juice!
Okay seriously, we here at Yu-Gi-Oh Enterprises have no idea what is happening to the mental states of these characters.
Regardless of this, once Yami was finally through five hours later, the sun rose and Shadi left the beach, silently fighting back tears as he wondered why he was in fact, so useless.
"Goodness Pharaoh! I told you to make him feel bad, not destroy the core of his soul! You pretty much mind crushed him."
Once again, Yami groaned. "You said to show no mercy."
"Oh...yeah, I did say that didn't I? Whoops."
"Be careful what you wish for, Yugi. After all, I'm willing to bet Shadi had a way off the island."
"..."
"Yugi?"
"If you realized that before, why the heck did you listen to me!?"
Yami shrugged. "Good practice for when we meet Kaiba again. He is the one who basically got us into this mess in the first place."
"Well, regardless of that...we need to catch up to Shadi and apologize now!"
And so the rest of the story unfolds much in the way you, the dear audience, would expect it to. Yami caught up to Shadi, apologized, and then he took him and Yugi back to Domino.
What was unexpected was Yugi's action to file a police report against Kaiba rather than face him in an epic children's card game. Within days of investigating, the insane C.E.O. was arrested for attempted theft and murder, then later convicted to spend eight years in prison, making it so Yu-Gi-Oh GX was never a thing.
Ha! Just kidding. We here at Yu-Gi-Oh Enterprises would never allow the destruction of a lucrative spin-off.
And so, Yugi Muto and Seto Kaiba competed against one another in a show-stopping duel to which the former was victorious against his tallest and richest rival.
As for Shadi, he decided to travel to anime outside of the Yu-Gi-Oh franchise for a while in hopes of learning how to adequately warn people of impending doom.
He was largely unsuccessful, so he came crawling back to us here at Yu-Gi-Oh Enterprises where he belongs in order to participate in the next edition of our comedy drabble series entitled...
Shadi is Always Late.
Many thanks, dear audience, for subjecting yourselves to this experimental pilot. If you would be so kind, please make sure to leave your thoughts and ideas on how to make this series better in our comment section below. We are very appreciative of constructive criticism. After all, we here at Yu-Gi-Oh Enterprises aim to please all audiences from the young to the very, very old. Once again, we thank you. Have a blessed day. We will see you again in the next episode...or chapter rather.