I Hope That You Burn

Hamilton One-shot

The first time Eliza saw him after what he did, rage ripped through her body. It was a week after her Alexander had been killed. Angelica and her husband John had come all the way from London with their family to be with Eliza and the children. Angelica had basically taken over the household duties as Eliza spent all her energy mourning her husband and comforting her children. It was a week before Angelica could convince Eliza to join them for a trip to the market. Still donned in all black, Eliza and the children journeyed into the city with her sister and her family. She tried to ignore the looks of pity that were being thrown her way. They just made her want to sink into a hole. She was browsing some tomatoes when she saw him. Standing tall in his suit, exchanging pleasantries with the baker, as if he had not just taken a man's life, a husband's life, a father's life. When she saw his face, the letter he'd written to the doctor expressing his concern for Alexander flashed in her mind. She'd ripped it up into tiny pieces and thrown it into the dirt to be trampled by passing carriages. When she saw his face, white-hot rage ripped through her body. Eliza dropped the tomato in her hand back into the crate and stormed his direction, her feet stirring up dust on the cobblestones. Angelica noticed her sudden movement and quickly followed, but Eliza paid no attention. Her hand clamped down on his shoulder and jerked him her direction.

"How dare you!" she roared, "How dare you make me a widow. How dare you leave these children without a father!"

Burr's eyes widened, shocked by her presence, "Mrs. Hamilton-"

Eliza reared back and slapped him hard across the face, "No! Don't you say his name. Was a silly argument really worth my husband's life?"

John Church, Angelica's husband made his way to them now and picked Eliza up by the waist to keep her from doing any more harm to Aaron Burr. The entire market had stopped to watch the scene unfold.

"I hope you burn!" Eliza screamed as her brother-in-law led her away.

That night Eliza sobbed herself to sleep, clutching one of Alexander's shirts to her chest.

The second time she saw him she secretly happy that he was suffering. It was a few years after her husband's death. She and the children were attending church one Sunday morning when she turned around and saw him sitting in the back of the building with tears in his eyes. News had just spread across town that his daughter, Theodosia had been lost at sea. When she'd read the article in the newspaper, part of her was happy. Eliza was happy that Aaron Burr could feel a little bit of the pain that she had felt. Eliza was happy that he could suffer too, just like she had. But then she remembered how she felt when she'd lost them. Phillip and Alexander. She remembered saying that she'd never wish that devastation and heartbreak on anyone. So as quickly as she felt satisfied with his plight, she felt that crushing sadness all over again. When they left the church, she couldn't look him in the eye. She ushered her children out, never acknowledging him even though she could feel his eyes on her.

The last time she saw him, it was completely unexpected. It was many years later. Eliza was working in her office in the orphanage when a young lady who helped care for the children entered the room.

"Mrs. Eliza, there's someone here to see you."

"Thank you, Rebecca. You can send them in."

Eliza was turned placing books on the shelves when she heard the heavy footfalls get louder.

"If you'll excuse me for just a moment, I'll be right with you."

The visitor didn't respond. When she turned around and found Aaron Burr standing in the middle of her office, she nearly stopped breathing.

"Mr. Burr," she said with her lips pressed into a thin line, "What can I do for you?"

"Mrs. Hamilton, I know my presence here is hardly wanted. However, something has been pressing me from within and I had to force myself to come by and brave any anger I might face. I had to let you know that I am, most sincerely, sorry and regretful for what I did those many years ago. I know now that the world was wide enough for both your husband and I, and I was foolish for ever challenging him to the duel to begin with. I wish more than anything that I could go back and fix the error of my ways and erase this all from ever happening. But I cannot. All I can do know is let you know how deeply remorseful I am, and have been since the event occurred."

Eliza surveyed the man standing before her before responding. His hair was nearly gone, lines under his eyes told the story of many sleepless nights, and his eyes were filled with a sadness and sincerity that Eliza knew could not be faked.

"Mr. Burr, I would think it clearly implausible that we could ever be on friendly terms again after our history, but…but I do wish to let you know that I have forgiven you for your actions. I had forgiven you a while ago, simply because I could not live with the anger anymore. I would also be remiss to not acknowledge my husbands part in his death. He made poor choices routinely throughout his life, and he had the choice to turn down the duel. Thus, I do not blame it entirely on you. I hope that you can leave here knowing that you are no longer an object of anger in my heart."

Burr's mouth gaped open like a fish for a moment and then he snapped it shut.

"Thank you."

Eliza nodded at him. He turned to leave, but stopped and faced her again.

"This place…this orphanage is wonderful. You've done a wonderful job. Also, despite our many disagreements, your husband was a good man. He loved you, very much so."

"Thank you, Mr. Burr," Eliza whispered.

And then he was gone and Eliza carried on with her life. She had stopped wasting time on tears and anger many years ago.