A/N — This is crack, written purely for my own entertainment (but if anyone should ask, I blame Tiggs entirely)
Why Hermione Should Always Let Us Copy Her Homework, by Ronald Weasley
Monkshood and wolfsbane;
Twelve uses of dragon blood:
How will this help us?
.oOo.
Why Ronald Weasley is Incorrect, by Hermione Granger
Poisons, antidotes;
Knowing these could save a life.
Do your own homework.
.oOo.
Why Hermione Granger Should Revisit Her Theory, by Ronald Weasley
But if you know this,
Couldn't you just help us out?
That's what friends are for.
.oOo.
Why Ronald Weasley Needs To Get His Head Out Of His Arse, by Hermione Granger
For sponging off of?
That is not what friends are for!
I'm not helping you!
.oOo.
Why People Need To Choose Their Friends Based On Personality Rather Than Accidentally Defeating A Troll Together, by Ronald Weasley
You would watch us die,
Just to prove a twisted point?
You're a sick person!
.oOo.
Why Ronald Weasley Needs To Grow Up And Stop Trying To Blame Other People For His Problems, by Hermione Granger
That's not what I said!
Write your own potions essay!
Learning won't hurt you!
.oOo.
Why We Need To Stick Together And Keep Each Other Informed, by Seamus Finnigan
Hang on a minute!
No one told me there's homework!
House loyalty, guys!
.oOo.
Why Seamus Needs To Pay Attention, by Dean Thomas
Listen when I talk!
I said an hour ago:
Potions essay's due.
.oOo.
Why It's Not Just Seamus That Needs To Pay Attention, by Hermione Granger
Dean, that isn't fair!
You haven't started either!
You all need to work!
.oOo.
Why We Don't Appreciate Being Lumped In With These Idiots, by Parvati Patil
Me and Lavender
Have already started ours.
Don't lump us with them!
.oOo.
Why This Is A Little Awkward, by Lavender Brown
Yeah, so, hate to say:
I haven't started either.
Sorry, Parvati.
.oOo.
Why Everyone Needs To Stop Passing Haikus Around The Common Room And Get On With Their Lives, by Harry Potter
Guys, seriously!
It's stopped being funny now!
Let the joke die.
.oOo.
Could Someone Help Me With Question 7, Please? by Neville Longbottom
I'm a little stuck,
What did you get for seven?
I can't work it out.
.oOo.
Sorry, I Didn't See Harry's Note, by Neville Longbottom
Sorry, that's on me!
I'd already written mine,
Didn't see Harry's.
.oOo.
Guys, I Got The Homework Wrong! by Neville Longbottom
Wait, potions essay?
That's not what I've been doing!
Seriously, help!
.oOo.
Why You Should All Start Taking Notes, by Hermione Granger
No, it's an essay,
The questions were for last week.
Take a look at mine.
.oOo.
Why Some Betrayals Cut Deeper Than Others, by Ronald Weasley
I see how it is!
Us you'll let die, but not him!
I can't believe you!
...oOo...
Why I Should Have Taken That Job At The Ministry, by Professor McGonagall
Due to some complaints:
The Gryffindor Common Room:
A Haiku-free zone.