hi hello

first time writing these two so forgive me if it's bit OOC

was supposed to be kotoumi but like I CANT WIRTE THEM?

anyway this is based on my mom's story and i tweaked things here and there

please enjoy

The first time you met, she told you how beautiful your handwriting was.

It was unexpected.

Too sudden.

Too soon.

But you learned how to deal with the girl who slowly crept to your heart and had you wrapped around her finger.

There was a girl with a cheery voice who sat beside you. It was way too early for someone to be that energetic. Way too early for someone like you to care.

You hadn't seen her before. Probably because she wasn't present during the first week of class. Of course, the only seat available to her was beside you. You didn't mind. As long as she doesn't disturb your concentration.

"Hey, nice to meet you!" she reached for your hand. Too close. Too sudden. "I'm Kousaka Honoka, I'll be in your care from now on!"

You were good at hiding your emotions. You were good at faking a smile. "Likewise. I'm Kira Tsubasa." You made your hand twitch. Just to give a little response and she finally let go. She kept on smiling at you for some reason.

The peppy girl reached inside her bag and took a container filled with pastries. She offered one but you declined. It might be too sweet for your liking.

The professor walked in and everybody scrambled to their seats save for her who gobbled down the rest of it. From what you saw, though, it looked more like she inhaled the whole thing and forgoing to chew.

You give a hefty sigh. It was going to be a long day.

The following days, you hadn't seen her in class. The two of you only share one subject so it might be a coincidence. You weren't worried. Just a little curious. Who wouldn't be, after all? She just shows up whenever she wants to. Not caring for attendance and such. As an honour student, it's unacceptable.

When you saw her two weeks after, she politely asked if she could copy your notes. Correct term here was, she was begging.

"Please please please and I'm sorry! But I really need to review and I haven't been able to write any notes because I was absent the whole time and and and- please pretty please, Kira-san!"

She was at your desk. Begging. It wasn't in your nature to refuse. Especially when she practically threw herself at you the first thing in the morning. It was unexpected. The physical contact was something reserved for family members, at times for close friends. But you were merely classmates, acquaintances. Too soon. Too sudden.

You took your notes and gave it to her with your usual business smile. "Just remember to give it back, alright?"

She lit up almost instantly and bounced up and down. She reminded you of a puppy. Bubbly and cute. But you wouldn't dare say that to her. It would be rude.

She went back to her seat beside you and started jotting down things she missed. But when her pen touched the white sheet, she made an unexplainable sound. A mixture of awe and excitement. You raised a brow.

"Your handwriting is so beautiful," she said. Her blue eyes were sparkling and you couldn't help but feel a tad bit embarrassed. It wasn't everyday someone complimented your writing. She lifted your notebook and pressed her face closer to it. Inspecting it. Scrutinizing the little details. "Wow, you're awesome, Kira-san!"

"It's not that big of a deal, really." You reply. Really. It wasn't. She shook her head.

"No no no. My friend Umi-chan said that a person's handwriting tells a lot at who they are. It's very important." She said to you in the most serious tone you've heard. "Simple things like how you write your name, or the way you write the letters in a different manner. It tells a story."

You laughed. "Your friend must be quite the philosopher." You began to start small talk with her. You couldn't help it. She was an easy person to talk to. She offered you pastries that she always seems to bring. You politely declined. It might be too sweet for your liking.

A few weeks later, she stopped coming to class again. You weren't worried. Just a little more curious than before. Who wouldn't be, after all? She always sat next to you even though there was no appointed seating arrangement. The professor even nagged you about her even if she wasn't your responsibility.

When she came back the following day, she invited you out to the fields. You had no reason to turn her down especially with that sad, puppy-look on her face. The two of you went out with limited time to spend until the bell rang.

She spread out a blanket under the shade of a tree. She made sure that no sunlight reached your place. The breeze felt nice when it hit your skin. "Thanks for hanging out with me today, Kira-san. I thought it would be nice to eat out here instead." Although you always eat store-bought sandwiches for lunch, it was a nice chance to eat something else other than stale bread with greasy fillings. The lunch she prepared was something you hadn't thought in mind. It exceeded your expectations.

"You made all of this?"

"Sure did! I hope you enjoy!"

You did. It was delicious. Your lips formed a smile. She initiated a conversation while both of you were having lunch. It jumped from one thing to another. Favourite things. Weird dreams you've had. Best food you ever ate. What kind of superpowers you'd like to have. Embarrassing stories from your childhood. Personal things you'd never thought to share.

"I knew you were a nice person, Tsubasa-chan." She called you by your first name. Too sudden. Too soon. But you didn't mind. As she drifted off to sleep, you decided to ditch class altogether. You didn't want to leave her alone and relaxing just might be the thing you need.

Honoka was slowly creeping her way in your heart and she might be too sweet for your liking.

The following weeks later, she was absent yet again. You were worried. Who wouldn't be, after all? She promised to show up more often but you can count the days when she's there or not. Even the professor was getting annoying with all the fuss they made. And you were friends. Friends are supposed to worry about one another.

Honoka showed up the next day and you immediately felt relieved. Your eyes met and you can see the way she swiftly came to your side. You wave to her and she gave you a hug. "Tsubasa-chan! I missed you!" she said. Something weird was happening in your chest.

"Honoka, it's nice to see you too." This is what friends are like, right? She considered you one and so do you. She let you go. Too sudden. Too soon. "Just two more minutes until the bell rings. You're improving."

"You wouldn't believe what morning I had today, Tsubasa-chan!" she started. Of course, you listened to what she has to say. Just what you'd expect from a person like her, the story she had was bizarre and unusual. When class started she seats next to you as always. Not that you mind. You'd grown used to it.

You see how she groaned and tried to concentrate on the given work. There's no surprise when she whispered to you on what formula to use. It wasn't in your nature to talk during class hours. But you couldn't refuse the look she gave. Too adorable. Too hilarious at the same time.

When class ended, she asked if you could tutor her on some parts. Already prepared with her puppy-dog eyes, you accepted and she gave you another hug. The two of you worked on the upcoming homework in the library. Honoka still marvelled at your notes. She said it was pretty. So clean. So easy to understand. So pleasant to the eyes.

"I just got the thing!" she said a little bit too loudly. The librarian glared at your way and you gave an apologetic nod.

Honoka looked around first, checking if the librarian was around before she gave you a bag of assorted pastries. Different bread, different flavours, different things mashed up in a simple wrapping. "My mom always said to eat something sweet when you're tired."

"Do you always carry these around?" you questioned. You looked around if someone could see you two smuggling food inside.

"Sure do. I make sure I bring lots so I can eat something when I get hungry," Honoka smiled and scooted closer to you. "Also to share it with you, Tsubasa-chan!"

You don't know why your heart jumped. You don't know why your face went red. You don't know why you ate the overly sweet, overly sugary treat.

"Can you teach me when you have the time?"

"Of course. In exchange," you break the croissant in half. A sincere smile on your lips and a blush formed on Honoka's face. "You have to come to class more often."

It was your first time to get kicked out of the library.

True to her words, Honoka went to class as often as she could however she was still lagging behind with everything. Considering all the instances she wasn't there, it was no surprise. You were worried. Who wouldn't be, after all? She was on the verge of failing and her absences keep piling up. She needed a miracle to pass this.

On the days where she's present, you try and give her all the attention she needed. Not because she asked you to but because you want to. It's what friends are for, right? You ignore the fluttery feelings in your chest. This is normal. Everything is normal. There's nothing wrong with this.

You tell her all about the things happened in class during lunch and Honoka would talk about everything while she was gone. Like how she accidentally forgot to turn off the stove and almost put her house ablaze. Or how she almost drowned because she fainted in the bathroom. Or how she saw her little sister, Yukiho, doing outrageous poses infront of the mirror where she may have taken a few shots in secret for blackmail.

You listen to her stories earnestly and it elicited hearty laughs. With Honoka, it's as if everything else didn't matter. Everything seemed so fun, so satisfying. You didn't realize it at first but all those times you preferred being alone is now something you can't imagine to do.

You're glad she talked to you first.

You're glad with the friendship that bloomed.

You're glad that it was Honoka who reached out to you.

And all your meetings with her ends with her borrowing your notes in exchange of the pastries she made for you. Even if it was too sweet for your liking.

However, there was a decline on her stabilizing attendance and you began to wonder why it was happening. There was a list of possibilities in your mind that would be an appropriate excuse but you need to know for confirmation.

Honoka showed up the next day and you were about to scold her. Tell her to show up more because she's failing. Tell her it's boring without her. Tell her that you miss her a lot. But the pale look on her face told you otherwise. You've never seen her look so tired. You've never seen her look so weak. You've never seen her look so vulnerable.

Class was about to start but you decided to accompany her to the infirmary. Honoka could barely even walk there so you had to carry her on your back. "I'm sorry, Tsubasa-chan." She whispered. You felt your chest tighten. It was weird. It was unsettling. Honoka wasn't supposed to be like this.

"Don't worry about it. Just rest easy for a while." For someone who ate a lot, she was surprisingly light. When you reached the infirmary, you gently laid her down on the sterile bed and covered her in with the standard thin white sheet. The nurse was nowhere to be found. Of course. So cliché.

"Honoka," you wiped her sweaty forehead. She mewled. "Is there anything else I can help you with? Want some water?"

"Yes please." While you opened the mini fridge for a bottle of water, Honoka rummaged in her bag in search for something. You hurriedly went to her side. She needed to rest.

"You can worry about class later. You need to lie down." You handed her the bottle and she thanked you.

"I'm just," she gave a weak sigh. "looking for my meds 'is all."

The words that came out of her mouth sent a shiver to your spine. Your stomach was queasy and everything went cold. She's sick? You hope it wasn't anything serious.

Honoka breathed a sigh of relief when she finally saw what she was looking for. She took three different pills altogether and downed them all with water. "Bleeaahhhyyuuck." Judging the way her face contorted to a disgusting expression, it must've tasted awful. You help her lie down again.

"I'm sorry, Tsubasa-chan. I wasn't supposed to let you see me like this." She reached for your hand. So clammy. So cold. "But I guess I can't control what happens to my body." She laughed. You bit your lip.

She then proceeds to come clean. She talks to you about her sickness. Confides in you about her fears. The more she told you, the more you understood.

It was why she was always late.

It was why she was always absent.

It was why she was always not there.

What struck you the most was that it was incurable but the medications keeps it controlled. Although circumstances can vary. You felt like she was slipping away from your reach. Too sudden. Too soon.

"Would it be okay for me to copy your notes again?"

You smile. It was the only thing you can do. You know that Honoka would rather see you smile than let her condition worry you. It was the least you can do. With your right hand, you clawed your thigh because she won't see it at the angle. It hurt. It really did. However, it was your way of accepting.

You are here.

Honoka is here.

And that's all that mattered.

You take one last breath. You were always good at hiding so now's the best time to make use of it. For her. "Sure thing. I'll help you out with our finals too."

"Really?" the brunette looked like she was back to her usual self. This was the Honoka you know. The Honoka you want to preserve.

"Really."

She squealed and hid under the sheets. She was adorable. "Then, can you help me finish the snacks I made?"

You laughed. Typical Honoka. "Sure."

You tutored her. She was a fast-learner. Perhaps she just needed a little motivation to make her work because you know how she would always complain about it every few minutes. You probably had her memorized by now so when her shoulders slumped for the nth time, you opened the container of pastries and gave her one.

"You really do know how to make me feel better." Honoka said as she gobbled up the rest. You chuckled and gave her a soft pat on the head. Those soft blue eyes sparkled ever so gently and you lean in a little bit closer. Just a little so you can marvel at how beautiful she is. Just a little so you can enjoy the warmth radiating from her.

"Can't have you falling behind now, can I?" You're trying hard not to lose your breath. She was too beautiful and you couldn't help but inch closer and closer. There was it again. The feeling of calmness. Where everything is just right. Where everything and anything could happen and it would be okay.

Because she's here.

Because she's alright.

And because you're with her.

"You're really sweet, you know that?" Honoka closed the gap between your bodies and rested her forehead with yours.

"Not as sweet as the one you're eating but I try."

She chortled at that. Not as charming as you thought but it kind of worked. You two were currently in your apartment because Honoka suggested and that she would be too distracted with her family around. You agree, nonetheless.

So now you two are face to face, with half-lidded eyes and the pounding in your chest wouldn't stop no matter how hard you try. You couldn't deny it any longer. You couldn't lie to yourself anymore.

"Hey," you start, suddenly a bit nervous because of the close proximity. "we still have a lot to cover. Let's get back to work."

Honoka pouted and hid on the crook of your neck. Her warm breath tickled your skin. "Don't want to." Childish. She was still close to you and it takes all of your self-control to not do something unforgivable. She won't be able to see it but you lick your lips and start a little prayer.

One.

Two…

"And if I kiss you?" you boldly state. God, that sounded so wrong. It even tasted wrong. But you wanted to say it, nonetheless.

Honoka almost jabbed your chin with her spasmic movement but she nodded. Fervently. "T-that might work!" she said enthusiastically which surprised you. She gasped and blushed heavily as she returned to her previous position on your shoulder.

You laughed. "It might? So you're not sure?" You embraced her, praying that she wouldn't hear your heart about to beat out of your chest.

Honoka successfully hit you under the chin and she practically squeezed your lungs out.

"Ggaaahkk-!" you were lucky didn't bite your tongue or else it would've hurt a lot more.

"It will! I'm totally sure of it!"

You were dizzy, sure, but it was your chance and you wouldn't waste it. She locked eyes with you and once given the final confirmation, you close the gap between your lips.

Honoka tasted sweet and her lips were soft and pink. Your lips fit melded perfectly with hers like it was meant to be. Honoka was leaning on you and it felt wonderful to feel her weight on your body. You held her firmly between your arms and there was something ringing in your ears. The pounding of your chest only got worse and your stomach clenched in a way you've never imagined before. It's like the whole word was crumbling around but you don't care.

Because Honoka was here with you.

She's the first one to let go. Too sudden. Too soon. She swallowed a lot of air. You wonder how long you two kissed. Her face was a mess but it was perfect. You can feel your face go hot again. Honoka bit her lip and looked away. Probably too embarrassed on what happened.

"Did it work?" you teased. Honoka jumped and draped her arms on your shoulder.

"I think… another kiss would do me good." You lean in for another.

Even if she was too sweet for your liking, you won't get tired of kissing her over and over again.

It was the day of the final exam and the clock was ticking. Five more minutes. Just five more minutes and it would start. There was this growing pit of madness and anxiety pooling in your stomach that you could hardly stay quiet in your seat. It was eating you from inside out.

You were worried. Who wouldn't be, after all? Honoka told you she'd be here. She told you that she won't let your tutoring go to waste. She told you that she'll return your notes. She told you she'd bake you the best cake in celebration.

You take a shaky breath. One more minute. Just one more.

She'll be here.

She will.

She promised you.

She sealed it with a kiss, too.

The door slid open and your heart dropped down like it weighed tonnes. The students scrambled to their seats, the professor tapped the sheets of paper in place and prepared for roll-call while the seat beside you lie empty. Devoid of the person you wish for the most.

"As usual, there will be no cheating," the teacher fixed the thick-rimmed glasses perched on his nose before continuing. "if caught, there will be serious consequences and you automatically fail this class." There were hushed whispers and murmurs of prayer, however, you tuned everything out. There was a sharp pain in your chest and a tear formed in the corner of your eye.

"Let's get started."

.

..

…

You didn't know how you managed to solve the exam. You didn't know how you managed to pick yourself up and walk towards the exit. You didn't know how you managed to keep your composure while your heart was tearing itself into pieces.

Aimlessly walking through the hallway, you didn't notice someone tug on your sleeve. You didn't care. It didn't matter. You kept walking in a daze until you hit the wall and someone crouched down to help you. You were dizzy with all the overwhelming emotions so when you opened your eyes to see those familiar blue eyes, you couldn't help yourself and jumped.

"Honoka!"

But you stop.

Because it wasn't her.

"I'm Yukiho," she introduced herself. "Onee-chan said I should find you and give you this." She placed a box in your trembling hands. The smell invaded your nose and you knew instantly at what it was.

You cleared your throat. "How did you find me?"

Yukiho took out a notebook out of her bag. It was yours. The one Honoka borrowed. She handed it over to you. "Onee-chan drew me a map and laid out all the details." You recognized the messy handwriting.

It's this one! With the number 405!

Class starts at the afternoon and lasts for one hour.

She's the prettiest one you'll see!

She's kinda short but you can feel the confidence oozing out of her just by looking!

You can't miss her!

Wait for Tsubasa-chan for me!

You giggled. There was no doubt she wrote this. Only Honoka can say you're the prettiest even without describing your features. "Where is she? She missed the final test." Honoka must be at home so she sent her little sister to deliver the cake and notebook.

There was a slight change in Yukiho's demeanour and she looked down to the cake you're holding. She was silent. She looked close to crying. She ran her hand on top of the colourfully-wrapped box and smiled wryly. "Onee-chan," she stared at you with mournful eyes and you felt your blood run cold. It couldn't be, right? "she's… not here."

There was a lump at your throat and if felt dry. You had trouble saying your words next. "Honoka's… not here?"

A nod. A punch to your gut. "Mmm. Not anymore."

Too sudden.

Too soon.

You flip the pages of your notebook, trying to tell yourself that it wasn't possible. She was just here the other day. You two shared a kiss. She fed you those sickeningly sweet pastries she loved. You told all the secrets to solving equations faster. She embraced you. You felt her heart beat a steady rhythm. She said she loves you. You say you love her too.

"Honoka…" at the back of your notebook, there was a written letter just for you. Your eyes were watery and your head was woozy. You couldn't make out most of it but there was one you could read crystal clear.

I love you so much, Tsubasa-chan and thank you for loving me too.

You broke down in tears in Yukiho joined you. You try not to get tears soil Honoka's letter for you but it kept pouring. Yukiho held you tight and didn't let go until you finally calmed down.

When you did, Yukiho helped you stand up and help you fix yourself. She handed the cake again and tugged your shirt.

"Hey, let's go visit onee-chan."

so it's a true story.

this happened to my mom when she was in college. being in an all-girls school, everyone there was approachable because hi hello all girls and it was a comfortable atmosphere.

according to my mom, this friend of hers was a stranger at first then she approached her then suddenly snatched? her notebook from her hands because she was surprised at how good her handwriting was and from then on, she took home all of her notebooks so she can write down what she missed.

honestly, i was laughing at this part because i never had anyone look at my notes because it was full of drawings and shitty handwriting. so moving on, it became a duty for me mom to give her the notebooks at the end of class and in exchange, little miss friend would give her new pencils, erasers, new notebooks and all that and you know how much those cost at that time.

unfortunately for mom, she was absent most of the time and mom had to write her notes too when her sickness got worse. good thing mom's ambidextrous so she wrote at two notebooks simultaneously. then here we come to the part of thesis.

she was her groupmate for the thesis and let's just say they all worked together and at the final class where they have to give the result, she wasnt there.

same thing happened. after class, friend's parents looked everywhere for mom to tell her she passed away.

and boy i wasnt ready for that part because it went from zero to a hundred and son my heart was hurt.

so that's the story of me mom and her friend. i forgot what her sickness is but it starts with the letter L and it's not leukemia.

thank you very much for reading and have a wonderful day aye.

dont kill me