Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Story Notes: I know I haven't been very active recently when it comes to writing. A lot of stuff has been going on in my life, but I'm hoping to get back to writing again. With any luck, after this I can finally finish my three WIPs.

My soulmark is red.

Soulmarks are typically black or brown, at least, they should be. Red soulmarks are a bad omen, people say. Some people are born with them, others are born with regular soulmarks which turn red later. There's a lot of theories about what they could mean; the most common is that your soulmate has fallen from the path that would lead them to you. Others say that it means your soulmate will kill you.

I try not to think about it too much.

I know Mom worries about it a lot. Her own soulmark faded before she could find her soulmate, which led her to marry Dad, since the same happened to him. She tells me to find someone like that; whose soulmark has faded, or someone who wasn't even born with one.

For most of my childhood I hung out with kids whose soulmarks hadn't appeared yet; the group who were still waiting for their soulmates to be born. But one by one, their marks appeared, and I found myself an outcast when everyone started comparing their marks.

I told myself it wasn't a big deal. Most marks were common marks, things like 'Hi' or 'Hello' or 'Excuse me?', words which people say to one another every day, making it almost useless to look. I mean, they say that you just "know" when you meet your soulmate, but if that's one in a million?

I realize this first. Other kids around me, at least the ones with the common marks, start realizing the same, and I have friends again. But no matter how hard I try, I can't forget the words written in blood red across my right wrist.

Nice work, love.

"What's that?"

"What's what?" But I already know what he's seen, and I pull my sleeve down in order to cover my wrist.

Merrick isn't fooled. His hands shoot out, and I'm not practised enough in my Slayer training to stop him from grabbing my wrist and rolling the sleeve up. His gaze fixes on my soulmark and I watch with worry as his face goes pale.

"Were you born with it?" he asks.

I nod. "I haven't met him – or her." I mean, I don't think I'm a lesbian, but you never know…

He looks a little relieved by that, but that doesn't change the concerned expression on his face. "It's odd for a Slayer to have a mark. I'm afraid they don't live long enough to meet their soulmates. The last one who did lived in the seventies; Nikki Wood. She even managed to have a son with hers before he was killed by a vampire."

Well, that's comforting. Slayers aren't normally born with soulmarks because they don't live long enough? "So why do I have one? And why is it red?"

He lets go of my wrist and sighs. "I must confer with the Council."

Merrick died before he told me what it meant. And since Giles hasn't brought it up, Merrick never told the Council, either. I don't think I'll tell him. I saw the look on Merrick's face. The red means bad news, and I really don't wanna know. It's easier for Giles to assume I just don't have one.

The move to Sunnydale has been hard. People say I should've seen Mom and Dad's divorce coming; it's apparently more surprising if couples who aren't soulmates do stay together. And yeah, I want them both to be happy, and they're happier apart, but it still hurts.

On the bright side, red soulmarks are a lot more common here for some reason. Even the Queen Bee Cordelia Chase has one; just two words, phrased as a question.

The Master?

(Which is kind of freaky, now that I know I'm up against a guy calling himself the Master.)

Not that it helps me fit in. Once again, I'm the outcast, only this time it's thanks to being the Slayer – but this time I can't bring myself to care.

I still make friends. Willow and I talk for hours about her soulmark, which is a common mark, and a single word.

Hi.

"Xander first said that to me when we met," she says. "And what I said back to him is really close to his soulmark. I said 'What did you say?' and his mark reads 'What did you just say?'

What did you just say?

That explains why Xander spoke random gibberish to me when we first met; he was trying to get me to say those words. Unfortunately, his first words to me don't match my mark, so I'm not his soulmate no matter how hard he tries.

And I hate to break it to Willow, but… "It has to be the exact words, I'm afraid. And I'm pretty sure Xander would've taken the hint when you guys first spoke to each other." When she looks upset, I assure her with, "Your mark hasn't faded, so he or she is still out there. You'll meet them one day, I promise."

I give her the hope I don't have.

"Is there a problem, ma'am?"

"Yeah, there's a problem."

When I met Angel, those were our first words. I never gave them much thought; you never really give anyone's first words to you much thought if they're not your soulmate. But I was reminded of them when I found out Angel's secret.

He's a vampire.

I let him stay in my room after we escaped the Master's latest goons, and one night, he forced a kiss on me. I pulled back and slapped him, which brought forwards his demon, and he escaped out the window while I screamed in shock.

With Darla dead, and knowing that Angel has a soul and is on my side, I meet up with him at the Bronze. He takes me back to his apartment in order to talk.

I'm first to speak. "You can't kiss me again, Angel. You're not my soulmate."

"I know," he says. "But since Slayers don't have soulmates, I didn't think it mattered."

"I'm not like other Slayers." I roll up my sleeve and show him my mark.

His eyes widen at the sight of it. "Oh no."

"Yeah, that's right. 'Oh no, I can't have the girl I've been stalking all this time'. Look, if you don't have a soulmark-"

"I didn't," he interrupts. "I…never used to, until sixteen years ago." His shirt comes off and he raises his arm, and hidden in his armpit is a black soulmark saying just one word.

Gone.

"I definitely didn't say that to you," I say.

"I got it May 22nd 1981."

"I was born January 19th."

He stares at me intently. "You don't understand. I can't be with someone who doesn't understand all…this, and you do. And I'm the only vampire in the world who has a soul."

"OK, you're one of a kind, I got that." I fold my arms across my chest. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"No one told you." He sighs. "Buffy, a red soulmark means your soulmate is a vampire."

The world freezes and I stare. "What?"

"Were you born with it." I nod. "So he or she was turned before you were born. You'll meet them one day, Buffy. And it won't end well."

It feels like my thoughts are moving a mile a minute, but the only thought that keeps repeating is the theory that if your soulmark is red it means your soulmate will kill you. "But…if I stake…"

"Could you really?" he asks. "Could you really stake your soulmate?"

I already know the answer. No. And if I can't stake my soulmate, that means the vampire will kill me.

And turn me.

I shudder.

My worries all these years were well-founded. Not only is my soulmate destined to kill me, but in the process, I'll be turned into a monster. Is meeting my soulmate really worth that?

You should look forwards to meeting your soulmate. Now I'm dreading it.

"I need to go."

I turn to leave, but Angel grabs my wrist – the one with the soulmark – and holds me in place. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I…I can do it for you, if you want…"

I'm terrified of meeting my soulmate…but Angel's words terrify me more. The thought of my soulmate dying, turning to dust, not existing anymore… It hurts.

I yank my hand away. "Don't touch me. And please…don't do it."

"But Buffy-"

"And if you think this is gonna convince me to start a…a thing with you, then think again. I'm really not interested, and I prefer to be alone. That's what Slayers are supposed to be."

I flee his apartment and don't stop running until I reach the library. Giles is still there, and before he can even ask what's wrong I show him my mark and explain everything. Of course, he already knows what it means, and he comforts me while I cry.

"There now, Buffy."

"My soulmate is gonna kill me," I sob. "And I'm gonna let…" I take in deep breaths, sniffing. "Why is this happening to me, Giles?"

"I do not know," he admits. "The Powers That Be must have something planned. It is simply destiny."

"Yeah? Well, destiny sucks." His sleeves are rolled up and I look at his mark, located close to his elbow.

You must be Mr. Giles?

I manage to dry my eyes before a black-haired woman walks in. She must be the new computer teacher.

She walks straight over to Giles and says, "You must be Mr. Giles?"

Giles's eyes widen at her and he says in reply, "Yes, I am."

Her eyes widen in return and she looks at his arm where his soulmark is. At the same time, I see Giles notice her own soulmark just below her neck.

Yes, I am.

I leave, knowing I'm not gonna be getting a word in edgewise. When soulmates find each other, nothing else in the world matters.

"The vampires?"

"Gone."

"The Master?"

"Dead."

I can be forgiven for not noticing at the time. I'd just died, come back to life, and defeated the Master. Of course I didn't notice.

It was only later, when I overheard Cordelia gossiping about it with her friends, did I remember who said what.

Cordelia had said, "Gone", while checking out Angel. And Angel, who had turned to her in surprise, had asked, "The Master?" It explained why they'd been staring at each other for ages afterwards, and had to be forcibly snapped out of their own little world by Xander and Giles.

Taking all this into account, I'm annoyed beyond belief to find Angel skulking around under the tree outside my bedroom window. I climb out of it, not even bothering to keep quiet, and land beside him. Despite the noise I made, he still jumps.

"Seriously, this stalking thing? Creepy. If you think this is even the slightest bit romantic-"

"I'm sorry, I just…" He looks away, struggling for words. I already know he's gonna lie to me. It's frighteningly easy to tell once I know what to look for.

"You found her, Angel," I tell him. "So why aren't you with her?"

He sighs. "Ever since I first saw you, it's been…you. You're the reason I decided to start helping; start fighting. You're my redemption, Buffy."

Seriously? My eyebrow rises. "OK, one: you need to fight for good because it's the right thing, and not because you got the hots for a girl. Two: You don't have to stop fighting because of this. And I hate to break this to you, but right now, you're coming across as shallow, self-absorbed prat. Which I guess is good news for Cordelia, since she's shallow and self-absorbed, too. You two are made for each other!"

Angel stares down at his feet and kicks at the grass a little. He looks like a little kid waiting for his parent's permission. "But what about you?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm dealing with it. And what I want is for you to not deny someone their soulmate. Go be with her."

The night starts out normal.

Willow helps me study for a bit, before Xander convinces us both to get up and dance. Then I overhear someone saying that there's some biting action going on outside, and I hurry out to save the girl and dust the vamp. The cocky vamp in question doesn't last long, and as his dust settles I hear clapping behind me.

I spin, and behind me another vamp appears from the shadows. His hair is bleach blonde, and he's wearing a long leather coat. There's a smirk on his face.

"Nice work, love."

Everything freezes.

No. That's him. That's my soulmate.

That's the vampire who's going to kill me.

I stare at him for who knows how long, my eyes wide, and when I finally get my brain to work all I can say is, "Who are you?"

The smile leaves his face. His own eyes widen, and he stares, too.

Giles said that it happens all the time; vampires meeting their still-living soulmates. So, it shouldn't really be that surprising for the vampire in question.

But then again, this is probably the first time a vampire has discovered their soulmate is the Slayer. This is gonna be one for the record books, I'm sure.

I don't know how long we stand there, staring at one another. I begin to prepare myself for the inevitable fight. I'm gonna fight back, but I can't kill him – especially now that I've seen his beautiful face. This fight is only gonna end one way: me dead.

Tonight is the night I'm gonna die.

I regret not saying goodbye to my mother. I regret that Willow and Xander are here, watching.

I wait for the vampire to make his move; rush me, or whatever he's gonna do. But instead, he does something I don't expect.

He runs.

I don't tell anyone.

Willow and Xander didn't hear our first words, so they don't know. I don't tell Giles or Angel, because I know one of them is gonna go find this vamp and stake him.

I still tell them about the vamp; I just leave out the part where he's my soulmate. The only reason I do is so I can find out more about him, and the information I get scares me more.

The vamp's name is Spike, also known as William the Bloody. He got his name by ramming railroad spikes in people's heads, which is just eww. But scarier still, he's famous for fighting two Slayers and killing them both. The second was Nikki Wood, one of the few Slayers with a soulmark.

I spend most of the school day worrying about what will happen when night comes again. Will he come for me? Will tonight be the night I die? I don't even worry about Parent-Teacher night; it's kind of redundant if I'm gonna die.

But when night comes, I'm instead puzzled when Angel arrives in the library with news that the Anointed One and all his minions have been killed, by Spike no less.

And then there's another surprise when, during Parent-Teacher night, Snyder goes missing – and I find him outside his office with Spike. And Spike is threatening to shove a railroad spike through his head if he doesn't leave me alone.

I don't intervene when I'm certain that Spike's not gonna kill him (but even if he was, I'd be tempted to leave him to it), and wait for the principal to hurry away. Spike remains standing in the hallway, his back to me, but I somehow know that he can sense me. It's a soulmate thing.

"Slayer."

I step out from around the corner and cautiously walk towards him. "Are you gonna kill me now?"

He spins, and I'm shocked by the look of horror on his face. "I won't hurt you. Why would I?"

"That's what I heard vampires did when they found their soulmates," I explain. "They turn them."

"I won't," he says, and against all the warnings I've been told, I believe him. "Last time I turned someone, it didn't end well. Not gonna do that again."

I notice that he has tears in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

Spike wipes away the traces of tears with a sigh. "My sire killed herself today. Said I didn't need her anymore. Guess I don't. And things haven't been right between us for a long while now. Not since…"

"Since what?" But I already know.

With another sigh, Spike removes his leather coat and red shirt. His black t-shirt comes off, and I can't help my flaming cheeks at the sight of his chest. He is seriously cut, and I guess having a vampire soulmate isn't too bad when he looks like that…

Then I see the mark on his chest. It's on his left, in black.

Who are you?

The first words I spoke to him.

"They appeared January 19th 1981."

"The day I was born…"

He put his t-shirt back on. I'm tempted to tell him to leave it off, but we're in the middle of my school, so that's probably not a good idea. I can just imagine Mom pulling a fire axe from the wall and whacking Spike with it.

"I wasn't born with a soulmark," Spike says as he puts his red shirt and leather coat back on. "My mum kept tellin' me it was 'cause she just hadn't been born yet, but the older I got… In the end I gave up waitin' and concluded she'd died in her mum's belly, or something. So I started lookin' for someone else; someone without a mark. Thought I'd found her, but…" He looks distant before chuckling to himself. "That mistake got me turned in the first place."

"By Drusilla." I'd read about her in the diaries.

Spike nods. "She didn't have a mark, either. Hers vanished after she was turned."

I look down at my mark. "I always had this feeling, that my mark being red meant something bad. Then when I found out why it was red…" I can't help the tear that escapes my eye.

I don't see him move. He's in front of me in a flash, and his arms wrap around me in a tight, comforting embrace. I can feel his breath on my neck, but there's no fear of him biting me. That fear is gone. I only feel safe.

"I'm never gonna hurt you, Slayer. Alright?"

"Buffy," I tell him. "My name is Buffy."

"Red's found hers, then?"

I nod. "She thinks so. I mean, she said 'Hi' to him, which is his mark, and he said 'Hi' back, which is hers. But he also immediately said 'Canape' afterwards, so does that count?"

He shrugs. "Did she feel something?"

"She thinks so," I say. "His name is Oz. He's really nice."

"Something tells me you're only tellin' me this to avoid something else."

Ugh. We've only known each other for a couple of months, and already he can read me like a book. But it goes both ways; I can read him, too. "It's really hard to explain, but… There's another Slayer."

His eyebrow rises. It makes him look really sexy. "Can't be. Another Slayer's only called when the previous one kicks the bucket."

"Yeah…" I wince. "About that…"

His eyes widen and then he's in front of me, checking me over and gazing at me with heart-melting concern. I'll never get over the way he looks at me, with such love in his eyes. I can't believe I feared meeting him before.

"How'd it happen? How're you alive? What wanker did it? I'll tear their bloody throats out-"

"Can't. He's dust, curtesy of yours truly."

He smirks. "That's my girl."

I smile back. "I was the Master. He drank my blood until I was unconscious, and then he tossed me in a puddle. I drowned. But I was only gone for a minute. Xander gave me CPR."

"Guess that whelp is good for something, after all."

I slap his chest. "Don't. So that's why there's another Slayer running around. I haven't told her about you, so be careful."

"If she's as new as you're implyin' she is, doubt she'd give me much trouble. Haven't told anyone else about me yet, have you?"

"Just Willow," I reply. "She wigged a little at first, but when I told her how amazing you are at kissing, she came around. Now she thinks it's like a fairytale; a Slayer and a vampire, mortal enemies in love…"

He smirks again and shuts me up with a kiss.

I slept with Spike.

And somehow, his soul returned to him.

I don't know how it happened. One minute we're lying in bed and snuggling, and the next he's screaming in pain. Which was followed by a bout of amnesia, and then him weeping and crying over everything he's done.

I comforted him. He didn't try to stake himself, which is good; probably because he doesn't want to leave me.

Still, I have to fix this. I have to make the pain stop. He doesn't need his soul; he was being good without it, if a little snarky and bad tempered. But he's my snarky and bad tempered vampire, and I want him back.

It's still dark, thankfully. My first thought is to take him to Angel, the other vampire with a soul. He and Spike kind of hate each other, but I don't know who else to turn to. He's the only one who can help. But when we reach his flat, he's not home. He could be with Cordelia, but I really don't wanna interrupt another one of their smooch-fests.

Giles is the only other person who could help. I just have to make sure he doesn't stake Spike.

My vampire can walk and is responsive, but I still have to hold his hand and practically drag him across town. I keep my arm around him in comfort most of the time. Why did this have to happen? Right when we're both happy, as well. Have the Powers That Be made it their mission to screw with my life as much as possible?

We finally arrive at the library, and Giles is there – but I'm surprised to find that so is Jenny, Angel and Cordelia.

Angel is first to speak. "Buffy, why is Spike with you?"

Seeing his grandsire causes Spike to retreat on himself, and he buries his face into my shoulder. Reminded of what Angelus did to him, I'm not surprised. "He's not here to hurt anyone. We need your help, Angel."

"Why are you even helping Spike?" asks Giles. "I thought he left town."

I suck in a breath and let it out. "I need you to help him because he's my soulmate."

I'm met with silence.

Angel has been staring at us both, and he doesn't even sound surprised when he says, "He has a soul."

"I gathered that," I say with a nod. "But why?" Certain that no one's gonna stake him, I lower Spike down onto one of the chairs. His grip on me doesn't loosen, and I make no move to step away from him.

Giles sighs, removing his glasses and rubbing his face. It's his 'Buffy gave me these grey hairs' expressions. This can't be good. "You slept with him, didn't you?"

My eyes widen and my cheeks flush. "How did you know that?"

"Because I slept with Angel," says Cordelia proudly.

OK, I'm happy for her, and for Angel, but… "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Angel was cursed by my clan," Jenny speaks up. "We cursed him with a soul, and the only way that curse can be broken is if he experiences a moment of true happiness. Which in most cases, is sleeping with someone. And when that happens, he would lose his soul and become the monster he once was."

I look at Angel. "You don't look like you're about to go all psycho, homicidal vamp on us."

"Because my clan forgot something very important," Jenny continues. "If a vampire finds their soulmate and chooses not to turn them, they will regain their soul when they first sleep with them."

Oh.

"Since I already had my soul, the curse was broken and my soul was fixed," Angel explains. "I can't lose it."

I look at Spike, who's still trembling with guilt, and gently stroke his hair. "There's nothing I can do?"

"I'm sorry, Buffy," says Giles, and he actually sounds regretful for my sake.

"I can help him," Angel offers. "Give him the help that I never had."

I smile in return. "Thanks."

"You know, you all should be thanking me."

I roll my eyes at Anya. "And why should we be thanking you?" Seriously, why? She pulled a vampire version of Willow from another dimension, who then tried to kill us all. And apparently, that dimension was created when Harmony Kendall wished that I'd never come to Sunnydale, a wish that Anya granted when she was something called a Vengeance demon.

Why should we be thanking her again?

"I was the one who created the soulmarks," she explains. "Well over a thousand years ago. Some peasant girl wanted an easy way to find her soulmate. I thought it would cause chaos; some marks are so common that people can't tell who their soulmates are. But there's not nearly the amount of chaos there should be!"

Giles stares at her. "Fascinating. The Council have always wondered where the soulmarks came from. A vengeance spell would make sense, and is not even traceable. It would line up with the time when they first appeared, too. But how has that wish not been undone, if I supposedly broke your power centre?"

Anya rolls her eyes. "It only undoes the last wish, not all of my wishes."

"Did you come up with the idea that vamps get their souls back if they don't turn their soulmates?" Spike asks her. He's trying to sound irritated, but not succeeding.

I know he's really not angry about the soul thing. After getting used to it and adjusting, he's living with it just fine (or un-living, or whatever). At the end of the day, it was nothing compared to trying to explain everything to my mother.

"Wasn't me," Anya admits. "And the marks turned red all on their own, too. The stupid Powers That Be must've done that." She huffs. "You've all turned me into a laughing stock, not that I wasn't already. I was the only vengeance demon to have a soulmark of my own. It appeared about seventeen years ago."

She rolled up her sleeve, and there it was in black ink.

So you're the evil mastermind behind this?

The former demon rolls her sleeve back down, and we turn back to cleaning up Willow's magic supplies. Then Xander walks into the room, and seeing Anya, he says, "So you're the evil mastermind behind this?"

We all freeze and stare at him.

Anya's eyes go wide. "What did you just say?"

His eyes widen in return.

"So Red's found her actual soulmate now?"

I nod. "Her name's Tara. They both felt something after saying 'Hi' to each other, but after everything with Oz, Willow wanted to make sure. They performed a spell which confirmed it."

"Good for her. She needed this after what happened with wolf boy." His expression darkens. "Speakin' of false soulmates…"

I roll my eyes. "It's not my fault that Riley's following me around like a lost, love-struck puppy. He knows what red soulmarks mean, and he's gotten it in his head that he's "saving" me from you. Moron."

"He must know that one-sided marks don't work out."

"I should never have apologized to him. I should've just made some kind of pun about hitting the books, or something."

"His mark was an apology?" Spike smirks. "Maybe it's his actual soulmate askin' him to apologize for bein' theirs."

I swat him.