Kagome stared up at the white paint on her ceiling and lamented the memories that taunted her. Her entire body felt sluggish as she forced herself to roll over and slide her legs out from underneath her warm blankets. Her toes dangled above the awaiting floor and her shoulders hunched as she gently placed her feet onto the cold wood, a shudder shaking through her body at the unpleasant feeling. She stood up and stretched, her back popping as she tried to relax her stiff muscles. Familiar aches from her countless battles in the Feudal Era reared their ugly heads as the cold seeped into her bones. With a pained moan she leaned down to rub the pad of her thumb into the side of her right knee, gently working to remove the tension and pain that lingered there. When the pain had eased slightly she grabbed her thick bathrobe off of the back of her chair and quickly escaped into the hot shower that awaited her. The hot water soothed her pains and the steam in the room forced her to take deeper breaths. She stood there and let the water pound down upon her until her skin was bright red and she was starting to become numb to its welcomed heat. With a regretful sigh she turned off the tap and walked back into her room to quickly get ready for the day.

"Breakfast is ready!"

Kagome smiled at her Mom as she made her way to the table where a plate of scrambled eggs and toast awaited her. "Thanks, Mom. You know that you don't need to cook for me every morning, right?" Kagome teased as Nao simply turned around to continue making some more scrambled eggs.

Nao shrugged. "I make breakfast for Sota everyday anyway…" Nao glanced over her shoulder and winked at her daughter. "Plus, just because my little girl is all grown up and going to university doesn't mean that I can't spoil her."

Kagome simply rolled her eyes at her mother's remark before she continued to eat. Sota had just joined them and quickly devoured his own breakfast as he rushed off to high school. Kagome, on the other hand, took her time. She helped Nao clean the dishes and tidy the kitchen before she went upstairs to grab her backpack. She stared disdainfully at the pink color of her blankets before she slide the backpack onto her shoulder and marched out of her room. She was so sick of the young and naive colors that surrounded the small space that she could call her own. All they did was remind her of a different time… A time when she was happy. A time when he was around… A time when she thought that love could overcome anything.

Her soft pink lips pulled down into a frown as memories threatened to invade her once again. She pinched her arm roughly, reminding herself yet again that it did not help to dwell on the past. She shouted goodbye to Nao as she ran out the door and began the half hour trek to university. Honestly, she had been lucky to even be accepted. While she had done better in high school since she wasn't constantly running back to the Feudal Era, she still hadn't done her best. At the time, she hadn't even bothered to apply to university. She was determined to stick around the Shrine until the well finally worked again.

When it had… And she had finally seen him again…

With an aggravated sigh she ran her hand through her hair forcing the memories to subside. She didn't want to think about the past. She didn't want to think about him. She just wanted to forget the pain and move on with her life.

She only had a few classes at university that day, but that didn't make the day any less stressful. She was trying her best to become a nurse. After all that time helping Kaede in the Feudal Era, she wanted to build on top of that knowledge and really be able to help people. She was good at it. She was good at caring for patients and she did especially well in the couple supplementary classes that she had taken on holistic medicine. This was going to be her final semester of classes. Then, all she had to do was the in-hospital training period and she would finally be a full-fledged nurse. She loved school and she loved helping people. But, what she loved most, was that it took her mind off of him. She suffered through class, taking extremely extensive notes, and idly talked with a few people about the work they had been assigned. Within a few hours it was finally lunch time and she escaped to a small cafe that was only a few minutes walk away from her campus.

She loved this place.

It was her retreat. Soft music swayed in the background as the gentle smell of coffee greeted her nose as she walked through the old wood door. The entire place had a bit of a rustic theme to it and the smell, from the multitude of plants that littered the place, always reminded her of the forests in the Feudal Era. She took her usual seat and the waitress came over to take her order. Kagome watched as they made her siphon coffee. She loved watching the way the liquid first rose, then fell. It always amused her, and she couldn't help but smile. Sometimes, it was the small things in life that could bring happiness. A moment later, her coffee and usual sandwich were placed in front of her and she nodded gratefully.

She pulled out her notebook from her backpack and flipped it open to review today's notes but, as usual, found her mind wandering into places that it shouldn't…

"You're back…" Inuyasha's voice was deep and unbelieving as he stared at her from across the fire in Kaede's hut. Kagome nodded and felt an unwelcome blush grace her cheeks. Her eyes slowly gazed around the small living space, racking in every aspect, every detail, of the place that she had missed so much. Her smile grew slightly when she realized that he was still staring at her. They were alone. Kaede had made up some excuse to give them privacy, promising not to be back for quiet a while.

"How have you been, Inuyasha?" His adorable ears twitched at the sound of her voice, almost like he could barely believe that he was actually hearing her again.

"Okay." He muttered, his amber gaze locked onto her face. Kagome's face reddened more.

"Just okay?"

He shrugged. "Yea, you weren't here."

Her hands clasped together on her lap as she quickly diverted her eyes to watch the dancing flames between them. She was back. She was really, truly, back in the Feudal Era! It seemed so surreal. She fidgeted as she felt his gaze never waver from her. The gentle sound of the crackling fire was the only noise in the small space. Finally, when she couldn't take the quiet any longer, she looked up to meet his gaze and was shocked by the emotion that she saw there.

She gulped, forcing herself to overcome her own nerves as she made herself say what she had been thinking. "I missed you. I missed everyone, so much." He didn't look different from when she had seen him last, but his red fire-rat haori hid most of him from her sight. She, on the other hand, definitely looked different. She knew that she had filled out some more and she had lost the last visages of baby fat that had once clung stubbornly to her body. She had matured. That's just what happened to humans as they aged; humans change.

"Did you ever try to come back?" The fear in his voice rubbed her the wrong way and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Of course I tried!" She snapped. His ears twitched backwards slightly before returning to face her. She took a steadying breath and let her own pain shine through as she continued. "I tried nearly every day for the first year. I never stopped trying… I never gave up, Inuyasha." His eyebrows rose slightly. But, other than that, he didn't give any other kind of response. Their eyes locked together in a fierce battle. Battling for what, Kagome had no idea. Yet, the battle continued. Finally, their persistent silent struggle tugged on her last nerve and she broke the quiet. "Well, aren't you going to say anything?"

His searching glare, somehow, intensified. "Were you happy?"

Kagome gulped, and shook her head slightly sending her hair cascading down around her shoulders in black waves. "That's a hard question…"

"So?" He almost sounded as if he was pleading, as if he really needed her honest answer to that question.

"Of course I was happy to get to spend time with my family and to finish school." His face fell, his posture slouched, and his ears dipped. Seeing his sudden forlorn expression she hurriedly carried on. "But, I was sad too. I missed you. I missed Sango. I missed Miroku. I missed everyone. Everyone here is my family as well. I could hardly bare it… Knowing that, in my time, everyone here was already dead… My friends, the family that I made here, were all dead." She gulped as she relieved the memories. They had taunted her while she had been away. One moment, she would be happy celebrating her brother's birthday and the next, she would be haunted by the knowledge that her friends, the people that she entrusted her life to, were all dead. She would often wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares in which she had been unable to save them, in which it was all her fault, that they were dead. Her eyes stung with unshed tears and within the blink of an eye Inuyasha was by her side.

"Don't cry." He softly demanded.

She gulped and forced her watery gaze to collide with the beautiful amber that she had missed so much. "If I was truly happy there, I wouldn't have jumped through the well when it had finally let me. I want to be here. I took care of my obligations for my family there. I finished high school. My… disappearing like this… won't shame them now like it would have before. I want to be here Inuyasha. I made my choice. I can't go back. I'll miss them, but this is my home."

He seemed to analyze her for a painfully long period of time, the soft sizzles and pops of the fire the only noise. Oddly, this time she didn't care about the quiet. All she could see were his beautiful eyes. Her heart beat fast as she waited for him to speak.

"I missed you too."

Her breath hitched.

He leaned forward.

Her eyes closed…

His breath tickled her skin and sent waves of anticipation throughout her body.

A clawed finger gently pushed her chin up for her eager lips to meet his own…

Kagome's fist banged on top of the wooden table, making it rattle and the employees in the shop spin to look at her. She mumbled an apology and stuck her now shaking hand underneath her leg. Memories… Stupid, painful, persistent, memories… Why couldn't she just forget him? Why? Why? Why!

She felt something wet drip down her cheek and she reached up her other hand to gently wipe away her tears. "I'm crying…" She whispered to herself. She could feel her chest tightening as more tears threatened to come and she bit her bottom lip, hard, to stop the overflowing emotions.

The day that she had returned to the Feudal Era, the day that she had finally been able to return home, had been five years ago now. She needed to move on. She needed to forget him. She needed to stop reliving each painful memory that lingered in the recesses of her mind. But, how was she supposed to forget him? How could she forget him?

Her hand moved of its own accord to slide underneath the collar of her shirt onto the edge of the right side of her neck where a faint mark proved that something had been real. It had all been real. She had been his; she was his mate.

Her fingers traced the outline of the mark before she pulled her shaking hand away. "Time to pull yourself together. One more class…" She muttered under her breath, encouraging herself to push through what needed to be done.

She could do this.

She could forget him.

She would forget him.

She would move on with her life and stop killing herself with memories.

With a steadying breath she paid her bill before hurrying back to her last class of the day. By the time class was done and she had finally made her way home she felt completely numb. This day always hit her hard. Not as hard as the day she was forced to return to the present… But, still, it hit her hard. She did her homework in a daze, completing everything on autopilot and not really managing to retain anything important.

"Kagome! Time for dinner!" Nao shouted up the stairs, effectively breaking Kagome from her trance. Her pencil fell from her fingers as they automatically lunged for where her arrows used to be strapped to her back and she jumped into a ready stance at the sudden intrusion of noise; it was a built in reaction ever since her countless days spent out on the road in the Feudal Era. Her heart beat fast in her chest as she realized that no danger was actually present. Her arm lowered slowly to her side and with a depressed sigh she straightened her back, stretched out her sore muscles, and headed downstairs to where the delicious smell of food awaited her.

It was only once she was sitting at the table that she realized it was only Nao and herself. "Where's Sota?"

Nao put a hamburger and salad onto a plate and sat it down in front of Kagome. "He's at kendo practice."

"Oh, I forgot that he joined the kendo club." Kagome's gaze slid over to the empty chair where her grandfather used to sit. He had died a little over a year ago from old age. Her heart tightened and she looked away from his spot. "I guess it's just us tonight then."

Nao nodded and slid into the spot across from Kagome. They ate in silence for a while before Nao spoke up, brining up the topic that Kagome had desperately been hoping that she had forgotten. "So, how are you doing today sweetie?"

Kagome winced. "Fine."

Nao's eyebrow rose inquisitively. "Really?"

Kagome simply nodded, not truly trusting her voice. Her mother had always been able to see through her.

"It's ok to be sad you know… You loved him."

"I love him, not loved." Kagome corrected gently. "I'm just sick of being sad. I'm sick of being upset and hurt. I'm sick of it Mom." She looked up at Nao, tears once again glistening in her eyes, as she tried to hold back the emotion that threatened to overtake her.

"Oh honey…" Nao stood up and quickly walked around the table to wrap Kagome up in her arms. "I know it hurts…"

Kagome hiccuped, her arms wrapping around her mother, as the tears began to fall. "I miss him so *hiccup* much…" She moaned, her tears choking her voice as she buried her face into her mother's shirt like a child.

Nao ran her hand soothingly through Kagome's long locks. "I know… It'll get easier. Just give it time. You never know what might happen."

Kagome shook and leaned back from her mother. "He forced me back here. I was supposed to be with him forever. I'm supposed to be his mate!" Kagome yanked down the collar of her shirt to reveal the mark to Nao, who only smiled gently at the reminder. "He abandoned me, Mom!" Pain drenched Kagome's voice and Nao quickly wrapped her arms back around her, holding her tight as Kagome sobbed.

"He just wanted you to be happy… He went about it the wrong way, but he just wanted you to be happy."

Kagome flinched and pulled away from Nao again. She glanced at her food and suddenly had absolutely no appetite, the mere thought of food making her stomach rumble in protest. "I think… I think I'm just going to go to bed."

Nao glanced at Kagome's barely touched food, but nodded anyway. "Okay." Kagome turned to start walking away when Nao's voice stopped her. "I still believe things will work out. I don't know how. But, I believe they will."

Kagome turned to look at her with dead eyes. "They're all dead Mom. It won't work out. It can't. They're dead." She didn't wait for a response. She spun on her heal and marched up into her room before collapsing onto her bed. She shoved her face into the pillow and let the tears come again. They were dead. They were all dead. If anyone was still alive… Surely, they would have come and found her by now, right? Shippo would want to see her again, she was sure of that, even if her supposed mate didn't want to. She had never seen or even sensed a demon here since her forced return.

There were no more demons.

She didn't know what had happened to them, but they were gone.

She had lost them, all of them, all over again.

She fell into a fitful sleep, only to be taunted by memories once again.

Kagome's fingers rose to reach underneath the collar of her yukata to skim the still-red mark that graced the back of the right side of her neck.

Mate.

She was Inuyasha's mate.

She had never been happier. Grass tickled her ankles as she walked towards Sango's home, the sound of children's laughter echoing down to greet her. She smiled at the sound of such unrestrained happiness. Sango and Miroku had gotten married and had three children already. If anyone deserved happiness, it was those two. She was so indescribably happy for them, yet pain lingered underneath. She had missed so much… She shook away the thoughts of missed time and hurried the rest of the way there.

"Kagome!" Sango lit up as Kagome entered the three-room home.

"Kagome…" The nearly three-years old twin girls, Anna and Chiho, cheered as they rushed her. Kagome laughed and knelt down so that she could wrap the two in a hug. After greeting the girls she walked over to the fire pit where Sango sat bouncing baby Katsuro. The smell of beef stew floated up from the pot that hung above the fire and Kagome reached forward to stir it. Sango nodded her thanks as she moved Katsuro into the crook of her arm, gently supporting his head as she slowly rocked him side to side.

Kagome sat the spoon down and sat beside her. The girls were playing across from them with some straw dolls that Kaede had taught them how to make. After making sure they were occupied, Kagome turned to look at Katsuro. She gazed at him lovingly and, without her even realizing it, her hand pressed lightly against her own stomach.

Sango giggled. "Want to hold him?" With a nervous nod Kagome carefully lifted Katsuro out of Sango's arms and cradled him into her own. His small weight set something aglow within her. His breaths slowed slightly and within moments he was asleep. "He likes you…" Sango smiled and Kagome couldn't help but beam back at her.

"He does, doesn't he?"

"Mhm…" Sango said, a knowing twinkle highlighting the soft brown of her eyes. "So, when do you think you and Inuyasha will have one?"

Kagome blushed, the red on her face surely matching that of Inuyasha's fire-rat haori. "I just got back a few months ago."

Sango's eyebrows rose slightly. "So? You waited years to be together again. I'm not saying right away. But…" Sango leaned forward and gently stirred the stew before continuing. "Kagome, you can be honest with me, do you want to have children?"

Kagome's blush grew, so she turned to look back at the sleepy bundle held lovingly within her arms. She reached one finger up to gently rub over the top of Katsuro's amazingly soft head and her heart warmed. "Yes… I really want to have children. I never knew that I'd want it this much…" She looked back towards Sango, silently asking if her sudden need to have a baby of her own was something to be ashamed of.

Sango simply giggled a little as she leaned closer to Kagome to gently stroke Katsuro's cheek. Katsuro mumbled in his sleep, but didn't wake up. "I felt the same way. One day, I saw this village woman with her newborn baby boy and I just… I just wanted to have a baby so bad. I didn't even understand why I wanted it so bad. Miroku though… He was more than eager to start trying." Sang laughed at the memory and leaned back, her gaze gliding over to watch her daughters play. "I think I was pregnant barely more than a month after that. It's not bad to want it Kagome. You love Inuyasha, you're mates. It's natural to want to create a beautiful mix of the two of you." Sango turned to look at her with a mischievous smirk. "Plus, your babies are going to be completely adorable and I'll get to spoil them all I want."

Kagome smiled and gently tightened her hold on the slumbering infant. "Just like I spoil yours."

"Exactly." Sango nodded.

Kagome looked again at Katsuro's slumbering face and felt herself completely melt. "I don't know if Inuyasha wants to have a baby… We never really talked about it."

"I'm sure he does."

"Really?"

"You didn't see the way he looked at them when they were born Kagome. It was clear as day that he wanted his own. He missed you so much…" Sango reached forward and gently gripped Kagome's shoulder. "I can see it, I know that he wants to have children with you. Just, talk to him, okay?"

Kagome smiled, feeling a tiny bit reassured. "Yea… I'll talk to him."

With a gasp Kagome jolted up in bed. She was drenched in sweat and her hands were slightly trembling. Dreams… Dreams and memories were her torturers. She sucked in deep breaths, begging the memory to fade away. She didn't want to remember. She didn't want to remember the good, she didn't want to remember the bad, she just wanted to forget it all! She was sick and tired of being in so much anguish all of the time. With a moan she collapsed back onto her sweat-covered sheets, unaware of the presence that was eagerly soaking in the sight of her. Slowly, she drifted back into the dark embraces of sleep.

She never noticed the pair of bright green eyes that watched her from the window.

~ Author's Note ~

Hello, everyone! I'm back with a new story. What do you think so far? Just a heads up, this story is probably going to contain a lot of emotional pain and, hopefully, plenty of twists and turns. You're in for a ride.

Please review.

Should I continue?

~ FeudalAi