Contestants

F Kirilia (Judy)

M Ninetales (Whitefang)

M Garchomp (Jet)

M Alakazam (Shun)

F Serviper (Glenn)

F Altaria (Sky)

F Combuskin (Renegade)

F Roselia (Flower)

M Monferno (Monkey)

M Servine (Swifty)

M Chesnaught (Hardhead)

F Ninetales (Cynthia)

Welcome to Total Extremist Island were 12 contestants will be here to survive 1 month on the island with every once and a while challenge added in to make it fun. I am your host, Raichu and with my copartner Pikachu. (Raichu)

We are here at the docks waiting for the first contenders to show up. And here is the first one. Hey Judy. (Raichu) As a boat pulls up and drops someone off.

Hey guys nice to meet you (Judy)

Here's are next three to pull up. Hello to you Whitefang, Jet, and Shun (Pikachu)

Alright I am ready to get his completion on (Jet)

This will hopefully satisfy my parents finally (Shun)

This might be more interesting to me than sitting and reading books all the time (Whitefang)

Alright five more contestants have just arrived, please welcome Glenn, Sky, Renegade, Flower, and Monkey. (Raichu)

This is not what the application form said what the place looked like. (Glenn)

Can't wait to get into the air again (Sky)

I can't wait to start I want to start Now! Now! Now! (Renegade)

Please stop yelling your giving me a headache (Flower)

Let's do this (Monkey)

And this here is our last boat with are two last contestants Swifty, and Hardhead.

Pleasure to meet you all were going to be such good friends. (Swifty)

Wow so this is where are all the ladies at nice (Hardhead) saying this with a smug grin while some of the girls looked a little dreamily at him.

Wait hold on a second here you said there were twelve people on this contest I only count eleven (Whitefang). I think here stop was a little late considering how far out she lives. Oh! Wait there she is now. (Pikachu).

The boats ramp lowers and out comes a stunningly beautiful ninetales. Her red eyes betray kindness and other things that are hard to read.

Hello my new friends I am Cynthia and I am glad to meet your acquaintances. (Cynthia) and as she said it she walked over far from the other groups to the forest going ahead to step up where she is staying alone and away from others. She read the instructions and guide to the show on where to find a place to sleep on the boat ride, but before she gets anywhere she is blocked by Hardhead who had a smug grin on his face.

Hey there hot stuff why doesn't you come with me later and we can get cozy and everything. (Hardhead) Oh I would love to but you see I am not into you at all so the answer is now so go find an another girl who thinks only about your looks but doesn't see the jerk on the inside (Cynthia)

At this she turns and walks to the forest to find her home set up. As she goes the boys are still gaping at how she handled Hardhead and also at her beauty really all except for the other ninetales who had a weird vibe coming of her.

Well now that this is all settled she is smart and read the book we gave you all and is now finding a place to live for the six months you will be here surviving on your own and you can't leave the island, otherwise you will all be unsupervised unless we call up and event. So get to making you camps. (Raichu) and at that the campers scramble after the Cynthia to the forest or wherever they see fit to live in.

Whitefang chooses to try and find somewhere peaceful in the forest to set up his area when he is crushed by something that fell from the trees to see it was Cynthia.

Why did you fall on me? Asked Whitefang in a sort of rude way to her. Well excuse me sir but I didn't see u down there I was just up in the trees jumping around is that a problem? Cynthia retorted back but in a softer way. Anyways Cynthia quickly gets off of him and then speedily runs away. What a weird fox. Said Whitefang.

Later that day all the campers have made their campsites except for Cynthia who happens to just be wondering about not actually concerned about camping or setting up a place in general. For once she is able to do what she wants not have her life controlled by her dad or his crazy gang of team flare people. She can finally be who she wanted to be and that was herself caring and nature loving wanting to live in the wilderness. She decides to go to the top of the mountain and do something she normally does on nights when she is alone. Howl to the starry night.

Hardhead was still down about getting rejected like that in front of everyone like that from the one girl who doesn't fall for him but that Glenn girl fell for him so it's still go for the pretty ones but he mainly wants the ninetales. He built his fort in a cave under the mountain and he got enough wood to make a fire when suddenly a howl so graceful and beautiful filled the night that he was in some kind of trance to go towards it and so he did.

All the other campers heard it to and started to make their way slowly towards it to see what or who it was. Whitefang had a suspicion on who or what is might be, but was not entirely convinced. Just then he notices a sudden heat spike come up sense he is a fire-type. He began to recognize that this mountain was actually a volcano.

Cynthia say up there howling the night away as she sat next to the warm cooling rocks (at least to her they were cooling) She started to sense others coming up so she immediately stopped and ran down the opposite side of where they were coming from.

When the others got up there they were all depressed to see no one there. Hardhead started searching around the rim of the volcano edge for where the one howling went. Alright everyone it could have just been another Pokémon or a trick let's just go back to bed. (Whitefang)

Everyone went back to their homes. While Cynthia was now lying up in a tree away from everyone else.

Next Moring

Next morning everyone started to scavenge for food to store while. Glenn and Flower decided to team and help each other out by finding food and living together in the same camp. Hey Flower so who do think howled last night. Asked Glenn. I don't know but in sure entranced Hardhead. She replied. They continued walking for a little bit until they heard a strange sound come from above them to see Fly in a makeshift nest waking up.

Oh hey you two (Fly). Hey Fly you want to go out with us and scavenge for some food. (Flower)

Then they all here the sound of something yelp and then go silent. Well lets go see what it was, Glenn said in a scared tone.

They make it over to find nothing there, they begin to turn around when they all see a broken branch on the ground that wasn't there before. The three of them look to see a pair of blood red eyes staring at them from tree above them. Out of shear fright Flower shots an energy ball up into the tree. An in a flash a golden coat of fur jumps from the tree with a frustrated growl. They all come to see it is Cynthia.

What was that for!(Cynthia) Sorry we thought you were going to attack us and we heard a yelp from over here so we came to investigate. (Fly) Its ok I shouldn't have yelled anyways that yelp you heard was my breakfast which is now in my stomach. She said in a kind tone.

My gosh you might be pretty but you're a creep, said Glenn in a rude way. Listen it's not like am trying to be pretty or creepy I really don't care what the boys think of me. She replied in a still kind and soft tone. Well best be on my way hope to see you all again. And with that she takes off sprinting into the wilderness.

She is weird, said Glenn in a distasteful tone. Well she is but I am going out hunting see you all later and with that Fly takes off, leaving Glenn and Flower to their own hunting.

Somewhere else in the forest Whitefang was starting to mark a territorial area for him so others can know not to go in it. While he is marking the last area he sees Hardhead with some berries over by the tree with Monkey who were snickering and laughing with smug grins about something. Whitefang decides he must know his competitors better by interacting with them.

Man Hardhead last night though whoever was howling had you in a trance. Said Monkey laughing. Well it sounded beautiful but to be honest the girls are mainly why I am on the show. He replied. I am really interested in that Cynthia girl she was hot for her looks and one way or another I am going to have her crawling for me like the rest of them chicks. He said with a sly grin.

While Whitefang listened he had to admit Cynthia was probably the most beautiful ninetales he has ever seen but the way she had acted didn't seem correct for someone of her beauty. Normally girls that look like her and will normally tease the other boys but no she just didn't really care about anything but to just get out there already. I will need to find her and ask her some questions. At that Whitefang leaves from his hiding spot and goes out to scavenge for food.

Meanwhile Hardhead and Monkey were out trying to set up their home for the next six months. They decided to form an alliance between each other last night at the volcano.

So how do you think you will get that Cynthia girl? Asked Monkey. I don't know but I will figure out some way I am sure even if it means absolute force! Hardhead explain with a menacingly evil grin.

Just then out of nowhere they see Flower and Glenn walking along eating some berries and chatting.

Hey girls. Said Hardhead with a grin. Oh, hey Hardhead and Monkey what are you guys doing out here. Asked Glenn dreamily. We were just out scavenging; by the way you haven't happen to see the ninetales have you? Asked Hardhead.

You mean Whitefang no we haven't. said Flower. No I mean the female one Cynthia. He said in a kind of impatient manner. Oh, yes we have seen her earlier, If you want we will take you to where we found her. Said Glenn in a saddening way. Thanks that would mean a lot to me thank you. He replied grinning slyly. And so they went off to find where they found Cynthia earlier.

Though not noticing Whitefang following in the shadows off the group.

Meanwhile Cynthia was back up in the tree she was in earlier finishing of the carcass of a dead squirrel from earlier. While she was eating she was thinking about the fact that she was finally freed from everything that had held her down before. Men, parents, being civilized, and society. She just wanted to be sort of like other Pokémon and be wild and free and not in a gang as heir to the throne and now she is finally having all that.

She was just starting to take a nap when all of a sudden she heard a whistle come over from somewhere nearby and she looks up so see Hardhead grinning slyly with Monkey, Glenn, and Flower behind him and off in the shadows she could make out the form of someone else but couldn't tell who.

Hey doll why don't you come down from that tree and talk. Said Hardhead in a sly way. Uh why do men always have to go after me just cause of my looks. Why are you here Hardhead I told you I am not into you and I would like to be left alone please thank you. She replied in a kind but irritated voice.

Come on baby you know you want me all the girls do. He said in an irritated but still smug voice.

Well guess what there is first time for everything because I don't want you and please refrain from calling me baby, doll, or any other nicknames. She said getting more and more irritated. And with that she looks the other way and closes her eyes for some sleep.

No one rejects me you hear me no one. He yelled out in anger. Get down here right now your just some little girl who has no idea how to live or survive without someone like me around your helpless. With that she opens her red blood eyes and turns around at him. Narrowing her eyes and growling.

He knew just then he struck a serious nerve with her. Listen here you I am not just some helpless little girl waiting to be swept off my feet by some huge buffoon like you! She exclaimed in a tone that maybe everyone cowers in fright beside Whitefang and Hardhead who was laughing like a maniac, you think you will ever be more than some little princess girl come on give me your best hit.

Okay fine you asked for it brick head. Cynthia said is an angry voice. And with that she pounced on top of the Chesnaught scratching the crap out of him and sending him and the other three running for the hills. While Hardhead screamed back, I will have you by the time this completion is over that's a promise.

As they ran away she turned back and ran up her tree again to take a long wanted nap. When she finally lays down she closes her eyes to start taking nap when she heard a noise coming from somewhere around the tree.

I know your there just come out of the shadows already, she said in a soft tired voice. Wow, how did you know I was there, Whitefang asked. I saw you watching from the shadows earlier quiet impressive hiding there though only really another ninetales could really see you she replied still not opening her eyes or looking back at him.

Well why are you here cause if you're here to start a relationship with me then please leave me alone she said. No I don't want to start relationship with you or any of that sort of business okay just want to talk. He replied.

Okay so what did you want to talk about, she asked him. First off where are you from, He said. I come from the Kalos region. Wow that is far away from where I come from which is Kanto. Hm interesting so what else would you like to discuss. Well for starters why do like to keep yourself distant at from everyone? Well if you want me to tell you must tell me why you are too I have seen were you went and set up and that is pretty marked down as your territory so I choose to avoid it.

Wow good response now one last thing. Why would you out of all people want to be here and before you ask about mine it is kind of having to do with getting out and getting fresh air from all the reading and books. Well you see my reason is kind of private sorry but I don't feel up to sharing it. she said kind of wearily. Well thank you for answering my questions oh and by the way I have never seen a ninetales prefer to sleep in trees as much as you do. Your welcome and to tell you why it is to get away from people like Hardhead. Good bye Cynthia. To you to Whitefang.

Wow I can't believe she was that open about all those things that was easier than I thought to talk to her. Whitefang thought. Now I will just grab some of my food and be on my way. When I got back home I found Hardhead and the others in it looking at me suspiciously.

Why are you guys even here? He asked. Were here because Hardhead wants to get in good with Cynthia and we were hoping since you also a ninetales that you maybe could talk some sense into her to go out with Hardhead. Said Monkey. Sorry but she just told about that she is not interested in a relationship with anyone and no I did not ask her out. He replied.

Hardhead seemed kind of disappointed until he started to smile again, so she is one of those hard to get kind of gals this is going to be fun. He said in smug tone. Hey guys do you all mind getting out of my territory because I live here and I would like to be left alone. Fine loner but, don't mess with that other ninetales in any other way or you will pay for it, Hardhead threatened. Ok whatever he said and at that he lied down and started to take a nap.

Well the other ninetales was sure interesting I will give him that and he is one of the first boys to not approach me just cause of my looks and posture. Cynthia thought. Then she decided to from this spot to a new area so Hardhead can't find her again. She then decides to deeper into the forest until she came near a lake surrounded by trees. This seems like a good spot to rest for the day until night. She gets up in the nearest tree and takes a nap.

I was a good thing she moved to cause later that day Hardhead and Monkey came back to try it again but didn't find her. Dude are you sure you want to still try and get her after you made her so mad that she scratched the crap out of you face. Said Monkey in a weary voice. Well I do want her and I will keep to that promise I said earlier. He replied in a determined voice. Well I will see you later then at the home Hard. Monkey said, and he started to head back to their cave.

Back to the host Raichu.

Ok everyone we so we split up the groups of islands my group is Cynthia, Whitefang, Hardhead, Monkey, Glenn, and Flower while Pikachu has the other six.

My groups first challenge tomorrow will be to meet up at the lake and we will be doing a challenge were I say something personal about someone and the others have to guess who that person is.

Some of the things will be the peoples deepest darkest severest and some of them will be embarrassing and some will be out right plain.

The person who guesses the most correct wins some fresh food.

Alright everyone sees you tomorrow morning.

Back at Whitefangs area he was reading some books in an open area. He was allowed by the host to take a couple of his books with him to keep himself busy when he is bored. He was reading about things that are in Kalos when he stumbles upon the gangs that live there. He knows that in almost every region there was some gang or evil organization run there and they were all ways really dangerous to deal with. The one is Kalos is called Team Flare and they were run by a sort of overlord Pokémon or king.

Hm interesting, he thought. Then he saw Hardhead coming over again to annoy him with questions probably about were Cynthia is. Hey Whitefang were is…

I don't know where she is I really don't care about where she is cause if I even did she probably would just dismiss you again, and again, and again. He said in a non-interesting tone. Ok well what you reading bookworm. He said irritated. Well I am reading about the Kalos region which is were actually Cynthia is from. He said still in the same tone as before while looking at the book.

The one thing I don't like about ninetales is that all of them have to be so dang smart. Thought Hardhead. Well that is interesting information because that adds to her beauty cause most Pokémon that come from Kalos are pretty and rich. He said in a greedy tone. Whatever can you please leave now it's almost dark I am getting ready for bed. He said while yawning. Fine see you tomorrow I guess. Said Hardhead while yawning also.

Next morning

Alright campers this Raichu I would like to have the following campers who will be my group in events come over here by the lake. Cynthia, Whitefang, Hardhead, Monkey, Flower, and Glenn. Rest of you are with Pikachu and he will tell you where you going. Everybody in Raichus group made their way over to the lake and when they got there they all either looked exhausted or tired from just waking up.

Alright everyone here let's see Hardhead, Glenn, Monkey, Flower, Whitefang, and where is Cynthia. I will find her sir said Hardhead and with that he went searching around the area for her. We will all help find her sir, said Whitefang.

Not me I am too tired to want to go find that waste of space, said Glenn tiredly. Then they all heard a rustling in the trees above to see a just waking up Cynthia right above them. Moring how is everyone do this find day, she said. Well there she is, said Raichu. Someone go grab Hardhead.

When Hardhead got back the first thing he says is where is Cynthia who remains silent to not let him know where she is at. She is up in the trees again where do you think she is dummy. Said Monkey who is in a kind of cranky mood from waking up early. I will save you Cynthia! Exclaimed Hardhead totally dismissing Monkeys comment.

Uh no thanks I don't need saving, she said in weird out voice. Guys can we please start the first challenge doesn't matter where you sit as long as you're here. Said Raichu. Everybody sits were they want while Cynthia decides to just stay up in her tree so she's not near Monkey or Hardhead. She was ok with being close to Whitefang who decided to sit away from others like her under another tree.

Ok everyone the first challenge you all will be doing is I am going to give some personal information about someone and the others have to guess who it is and there will be 12 questions the one with the most points at the end wins. They all look questioning at each other.

Alright first question, when this girl was 16 she had gotten kicked out of high-school for trying to seduce a young boy while getting drunk?

Everybody was thinking silently to themselves when they heard someone say I think it is Glenn. Said Whitefang. You are correct you get 1 point. Glenn looks down at the grown feeling a little ashamed.

Alright next question this person has read books since they were five up until now

Hardhead immediately said Whitefang. Correct Hardhead 1 point. Cynthia thought wow that is interesting as myself love to read books sometimes.

Skip to like the last 4 questions. Cynthia:4, WhiteFang:3, Hardhead:1,

This person has a wanting to be wild not be held back from anything like boys, parents, or society?

Everybody was putting hard thought into this one cause no one really has shown any of those traits really. Then it dawned on Whitefang there has only really been one person who as actually truly acted wild. Is it Cynthia. He said. Your correct.

That makes you tied with Cynthia. When he looks over she seems quiet calm still while others like Hardhead were looking at her like she is sort of crazy.

Next question this man has actually never been rejected from a girl until recently? Hardhead everyone knows who it was but Cynthia beat them all to the punch. Silently Hardhead thought well sooner or later she will fall for me.

Alright two more questions. This person is the son of a retired world star singer Linux?

Everyone was looking around in Cynthia was looking at Whitefang who had a face of distraught.

Is it you Whitefang she said. That is correct and at that everyone was looking at him in shock. Except for her. How did you know he ask? Linux is a ninetales and I know I am his "son". She says emphasizing the last word. Well good observation

Last question. She is the daughter of a gang that is held up in Kalos and is also actually the heir to its throne? At the last couple of words Cynthia shot strait up with a horrified expression on her face.

I think I know who it is said Hardhead, I think it is Flower because she could be from Kalos. Well guess what your wrong, but I will allow someone else to guess once. Whitefang then finally remembered something Cynthia said about herself being from Kalos. Is it Cynthia. CORRECT! Everybody looks at her with a new idea in their head. I will give you two points for that one since it is the hardest question there is. So you and Cynthia tied in the first place.

Cynthia yours and his prize will either be split or... I don't want my reward she said just give it all to him. Ok as you wish the prize is free food of any choice. He said. Ok but I will just have some raw meat if that is ok with you. Ok whatever the rest of you go about your day as you normally would.

When Raichu left everyone turned on Cynthia that instant. You are the heir to probably the most violent gang on earth what. Said Glenn shockingly. Please don't scream it out to the world cause now you all know a secret that should have been kept. Cynthia said at first in a sarcastic voice but then going down right serious.

I think it just proves you need me as your mate cause then I can help you rule better. Said Hardhead who was just once again overstepping his boundaries. Listen here all of you I don't care about my father's gang, I don't care about being the leader, and I especially don't care about being married of too brutes like you and with that her tails go up with the tips on fire. Her eyes showing fury that could scare even a Gyardos. Like the first question about me I only care about being wild like most Pokémon should be since that was how we were originally. Now please leave me ALONE! She said in an angry snarl and with that she jumped down and ran off.

After that everyone dispersed but Whitefang sat there thinking that it was his fault she is now like this and feels he needs to find her and apologies to her. And so he silently followed her through, and also unknown to him Monkey and Hardhead decided to tag along in the back and follow them.

Somewhere deep in the woods.

I still can't believe that how the hard headed bum thinks off me as some little princess waiting to be rescued. It is infuriating and with that she releases a torrent of fire around her and lays right in the middle of it to rest and calm down.

Hey listen Cynthia, said Whitefang expectantly from behind which made her yelp in surprise. Oh hey Whitefang, she said in a sort of sad and irritated tone. What do you want cause I think it would be best if you left me alone please, she said trying to be as nice as possible.

Well I really would rather just talk about this and help you through. He said not backing away. Oh fine she said in a annoyed tone. Well what is it you want to help me through. Well first off all I am sorry for saying the correct answer because I was technically the one who gave your secret away. He said sincerely. What why are you apologizing I gave away your secret too. She replied back. Well to be honest I just don't like hearing my dad name because it brings up how many times he has gone to jail for doing dumb drugs and stuff after he retired. Oh so he still is in jail I am sorry.

Don't be his money and stuff mean nothing to me I just like reading books most of the time and going outside. But what I can't still get is why a girl like you would want to be like a wild Pokémon like me. One reason is you can't be held back by others like Hardhead or my family and gang I can't stand people like that. She replied. Also I got to say I love reading books when I can it's just that when your father is gang leader you're mostly training to become the next leader which I have no intention of being.

Well if it makes you feel better you can borrow some of my books I brought to read. Nah, I am constantly on the move I would lose it. Well to be honest I trust you more than anyone on this show. Really I expected everybody to start accusing my family and stuff because we are considered killer also. I read about your dad's gang in the book about Kalos and yeah some of the stuff it said they did in there was kind of messed up. Yeah I know tell me about it I couldn't bear watching all those people get tortured or suffer.

Hey Whitefang thanks for being someone I can actually talk too really it means a lot to me. She said in a very kind and sincere way. To be honest nice to have someone to talk to too. He said too. While they said that last line their heads were leaning in a little when they heard someone shout.

Hey bookworm that's my girl you hear! Exclaimed Hardhead. For the last time I am not your GIRL! At that last sentence she released a powerful flame blast that sent Hardhead running for the hills.

My gosh I hate that guy well see you around Whitefang she said softly and with a flick of one of her tails under his chin she ran off once again. Hm I say that went quiet well he said and with that he made his way back home.

Next couple of days went by smoother Hardhead has still not stopped trying to get Cynthia who has sort of disappeared, Glenn and Flower keep following him around like puppies, Monkey trying to help him in any way possible, and Whitefang has kept to himself mostly staying at his area reading or hunting for food. Cynthia though has been hiding from everyone up near the volcano again because she felt more at peace there than anywhere else.

She still hates the fact that everyone figures out about her heritage and family but, she knows how to handle herself if they confront her on it. It was just the morning to end the first 2 weeks they have spent on the island. She decides now is time to go hunting for her food for the day. She goes down the mountain to the lake to catch some fish to each. When she got there she stood by the edge of the water waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Then she just saw what she was looking for, a ripple in the water and she pounced then and there on her prey which had no chance of escape since now it was in her jaws.

She squeezed her jaw as tight as she could until the fish stopped wiggling and then she made her way to land. When she got there she set here prey down and shook her self-dry. Then she dug into the fish.

Somewhere close by Hardhead was telling stories about what he did throughout his life up until now to his posy group. And also when I was just five I took down a dragonite like it was nothing, he boasted. Man that is amazing, you have had a way more interesting life then most of us, said Glenn in a dreamy voice. Then they heard a huge splash and Hardhead said he is going to check it out. When they go to the lake they see a ninetales feasting on the carcass of a dead fish. Wow never thought Whitefang could be so vicious said Monkey.

Um that's not Whitefang because I saw him still at his home asleep and he normally sleeps till like noon sometimes, said Flower. They then all got the idea who it was and knew what was going to happen next.

Hey Cynthia, exclaimed Hardhead, come over here let's talk about how great I am. When she looked up she had some blood on her teeth giving her a little bit of a scary look. My gosh just leave me alone Hardhead it's the morning and I have to hear all about all time so no thank you. She said in a very annoyed voice.

I am sorry but not this time I have been waiting too long so I guess I will have to force you to come with us, he said with irritation. You know what it has been going on for two weeks and I don't know if I can take it any longer, she said being done with him. I knew you would see my… a fire blast was launched right into him knocking him into a tree. There was Cynthia flames on fire with a face saying she has had enough. She charges him and smashes into him before he can recover. Hardhead gets up angered that he is being beaten by her in front of everyone shoots a bullet seed at her which she doges until he uses hammer arm and knocks her into the water. She charges him out of the water and uses blast burn shooting him off the ground. Come on you talk big game but you are being beaten by a girl. She said mockingly while laughing.

Guys come on let's get him out of here, said Monkey. The others nod and they scamper off with a knocked out Hardhead on the back. Cynthia turns around to finish her food now that she has depleted a lot of energy she I planning on just going to rest for the day. She goes and washes her mouth out of the blood and then goes somewhere to just relax. She kept walking throughout the area until she came upon and area with tall grass that she can hide in.

Whitefang just woke up recently and was out hunting for his breakfast which is technically lunch cause it's like 12 right now. He was going to his hunting grounds that he had found. This area has lots of rabbits and stuff because it happens to be very tall grass which animals usually think they have been safe from large predators, but a ninetales can be an expert hunter in finding its prey. While he was walking by he sees Hardhead with the other three trying to carry him somewhere and when Whitefang looked harder he saw that Hardhead had scorch marks all over him. Whitefang guess he did something dumb like his usual self and just put it off and continued on towards his destination.

When he got there he got down on the grown and started to crawl silently around in the tall grass looking for a target. Just then he heard a rustle from the bushes up a head. He gets ready to pounce on what unfortunate creature is about to meet its demise. He waited for the a couple more seconds and then he pounced over the grass and heard a yelp as he landed on top of something. Before he got a look he was knocked off immediately and in an instance he his tripped to the ground and has a paw pushing against his neck.

He looks up see what has him trapped to see some red blood eyes staring at him. Cynthia! He exclaimed in surprise. Whitefang what in the world was that for, she said. Sorry thought you were something else I was just hunting for food, he said. Oh well guess what I guess you caught me for like 1.5 seconds. She said smiling and then got off of him. Sorry for that though, thought you were Hardhead or one of the others.

No problem I just couldn't see you over the tall grass, anyways this is where I usually get my food from, he said. Well you did think of a good spot for little animals normally do think that they are safe in these tall grass, she said. Well anyways where have you been anyways Cynthia no one has seen you since that one day? Oh I have been in the shadows hiding and sleeping not much.

By the way if you want to know Hardhead was looked like he was roasted by someone or something. Oh yeah that was me I had enough of him thinking of me as an object and not and actual living thing. Wow you must be really strong then, did your father teach how to take of people like that. Nope, I learned how to survive on my own and everything without his help.

I am curious Whitefang, why did you join this? She asked. I joined because I wanted to do sort of like you be wild and free, but also get away from my dad so I could read alone and not be forced to try and follow down his path. Well I say that is a very good reason to leave, like you I had those issues but also when you are the daughter of and infamous organization you are normally shunned by others not allowed to have true friends. Also this is not me bragging at all but when your born to look as beautiful like me guys only pay attention to you cause of your looks mainly and they think they own you but no one will ever own me, she ended in a determined voice.

Well don't think I am trying to flirt with you or anything when I say I like to talk and be around you as a friend cause one you have some similar reasons for being here, and also you are like the first true friend I have ever had, he said in a sincere voice. Well that is real nice of you to say thank you for being my friend.

Hey you want to come see someplace I found while I was walking around on this island? She asked. Whitefang then blushed a little causing Cynthia to laugh. Sure, he said a little still blushing. Well come on follow me she said and with that she started to walk off towards the volcano. While they were walking Whitefangs only thought was where she was taking him. Then she stopped ok I need you to promise not to tell the others about this place because this is where I have been hiding for the last couple of days, she said in a pleading voice. I promise I won't tell, he said holding up a paw. She then starts to climb up the mountain until she came to stop on a ledge. When Whitefang got up there he saw that it was an entrance to the inside part of the volcano. Wow nice hiding place, he complimented.

Yeah I found this place after I left that area were we had been talk and I have been hiding inside the inner ledges of the volcano cause as are race is fire-types we can withstand some extreme heats unlike Hardhead who is grass-type, she said. When he got to the inner rings he saw that below was a lava pool with smoke rising out from it. Come on I would like to learn a little bit more about you.

So I got to ask what happens to be one of your favorite books you have ever read, she asked? Well if I had a choice I couldn't know for I have read so many books that I can't even remember what it was called, he said kind of sheepishly. Its ok to be honest I don't have a personal preference either I just liked reading books. Hey so I got to also ask you something, he said. Fire away, she said while giggling. Well what was your childhood like when you were with your family? Hm, I wouldn't describe it as a typical childhood since I was trained to lead the gang since I was like three. I never really knew much about the outside world since I was either inside or being chased away by boys. I am going to be honest mine was just too boring for me so that is when I decided to go out and explore a little and that is when I figured out how much I love the wild.

So that pretty much sums it up, so what about you. Well I would describe mine as lonely since my mom had left when my dad started going crazy with drugs and not letting me go with her. I spent most of the time going around by myself to read and that is how I learned about the outside world and it made me want to go and explore so now I have been going around the world but still haven't been to Kalos yet. Well its very beautiful there being in the wild, but I can't deal with being inside walls all the time so yeah it is great there.

They continued talking some more about things they did through their life. Whitefang learned that Cynthia's mom was taken away from her when she was young. Then all of a sudden Cynthia's stomach growled and she smiled shyly, I guess I lost track of time to notice that it is already night guess it's time to hunt, she said. Do you mind if I can join you this time so I can see your way of getting food, he asked? Sure I mainly get my food from the lake, she said. And with that they set off back to the lake.

When they got there Cynthia did again what she did this morning but since it was night it would have been harder for someone to the ripples if a ninetales didn't have expert vision at night. She saw the ripple and pounced for it coming up with a huge fish, and continued to squeeze it until it died. When she got out of the water she shook the water out of her fur which kind of made Whitefang go into a trance as he watched the water come of her. Hey Whitefang you ok she asked he then immediately straitens up and says yes everything is fine, while blushing. Cynthia starts giggling noticing him blushing. She then brings over the fish and uses one of her claws to cut in half. Here you have some I can tell you hungry don't even try denying it just take it, she said demandingly. Ok how she knew he was hungry and was going to deny was a surprise but he didn't argue and took it.

So this is what you eat wow I normally eat just rodents and stuff in the field, he said. Yeah I find it easier to catch and also it has good taste, she replied. Hey so I do get a question the first day we were here there was something howling on top of the volcano, would you happen to know who it might have been, he said in a joking way because he knows it is her. Yeah I know it was me I was just so happy to be free I kind of had to show it in my own special way, she said in a kind of shy way. Hey I don't mean to embarrass you or anything I knew it was you I just wanted to also have you say, he said. I know just I do that when I am normally really happy, she confessed.

Hey could you show me how you caught that fish so I can give it a try, he asked? Sure I will start helping you tomorrow, cause right now I am tired and I am going to go home thankyou again for being my friend and see you tomorrow morning, she said and once again she flicked one of her tails under his chin and left. Wow she's awesome he thought when she was gone. Then he decided to go to bed early that day so he can wake up to go out and learn how to fish properly.

Back at Hardheads home

I can't believe I got beaten by a girl like that, he thought. I will make her mine I just need to know where she is staying at all the time so I can sneak up on her. Just then Monkey came in. So did you find Whitefang anywhere he asked? Sorry I couldn't find bookworm at his home today, it is not like him to be out all day like that, said Monkey. Hardhead had sent out Monkey to go find Whitefang to get him to help find were Cynthia went. Well we will look more tomorrow, said Hardhead determined. With that everyone on the island was sound asleep.

Next day

Cynthia was excited to help out Whitefang for she for once had a true friend that did not just take her for granted. She was waiting up in the trees by the lake for him and when it passed by like an hour she decided to go looking for him. When she found his area she found him asleep under a tree with books all around him. She giggled to herself on a way to wake him up. She lifted up her tail and started to tickle his nose with it and she watched as he all of a sudden woke up to let out a huge sneeze causing her to start laughing hard.

Wow you know to wake up someone that is for sure, he said while still trying to wake up. Then all of a sudden Cynthia stopped laughing and looked up in alarm as she could hear someone on the approach. I think it's the others I am going up in the trees don't give me away please ok, she said. You know I won't you're my friend and with that he watches her scamper up the tree and she hid in the shadows now.

Then all of a sudden comes out Hardhead with his little buddy Monkey. Hey there Whitefang so I know that you I guess have just woken up earlier than normal and everything but we are wondering if you are willing to give us any information about were Cynthia is, said Hardhead smugly. I don't know where she is and even if I did I wouldn't tell you all she wants to do is be left alone and you keep trying to bother her thinking she is some tool for your use, he said still waking up but in a little bit of a cranky attitude. Dude, you have no say in that I know she likes me and that she will fall for me eventually all the girls do, he said cockily.

You have no idea when to give up, no wonder they call you Hardhead cause your head may be hard but you are so dense, said Whitefang. Take that back book worm or you're going to get it, he said in an angry voice. No, because I know you talk big game but you got trashed by Cynthia and also its people like you who I can't stand, you're like my father in many ways, he said with each word getting louder. Hardhead don't push it we can't be having more and more enemies, said Monkey getting kind of scared of Whitefang, who was showing his teeth in anger saying back up or else.

Fine you got out of this one dude but one day I will get you and you will be sorry, he said threateningly. Get out of here now, exclaimed Whitefang! And with that the two of them left Whitefang to his own dealings. Thanks friend really, said Cynthia. No problem and to be honest I have been waiting to say that to him, he said now smiling. To be honest you can make some very quips that are really funny, she complimented him. Well let's get going she said and then she took out into a full on sprint to the lake.

At the lake

Ok now for the first part of this you have to be patient and have a watchful eye on the water's surface, she said. Whitefang was falling every word she said. Once you see a ripple in the water you got to be quick and jump on it right then and there, and once you're on top of it clamp it down with your jaw and keep squeezing until it stops squirming and then you've done it.

Alright now go and give it a try. Whitefang got near the water and watched for about five minutes until he saw the ripple and immediately pounced into the water catching the fish in his mouth while squeezing it so hard that it instantly stopped. When his head came out of the water he had a good medium sized fish in his mouth. Nice catch, she said. Tank u, he said with a mouth full of fish, at which she giggled to. When he got sure let go of his catch and shook all the water off him which got all over Cynthia causing her to yelp. He started to laugh at the fact that now she looked all wet. At this she got an idea and walked over while he was laughing and shoved back into the water hard causing him to get soaked.

Cynthia fell on the ground laughing really hard at this and when he got out he couldn't help but laugh to knowing he deserved that. Ok sorry I got you all wet but was it really necessary to shove me that hard in, he said while laughing. Yes, and I am going to say this it was hilarious to watch you get out of the water watching all your fur drag behind you like that, I can't believe that is what I look like when I come out sometimes, she said still laughing. Ok now that is done do you want to eat or are you going to laugh till you die, he said jokingly. I see your point she said while trying to catch her breath. Just then she snagged up the fish before he could bite into it. Ladies get first bite right, she said in a joking way. In your dreams princess, he said then he all of a sudden got thrown back into the water. Ok what was that one for, he asked. She was sitting up there giggling for calling me princess and because I felt like it.

When he finally stopped shivering and dried off he looked up to see her eyes and he felt a weird feeling right there and then she broke so you ok, she said blushing a little. Yeah, yeah, I am fine, he said also laughing nervously. Here yours catch and she threw him the fish. Thanks, he said. When they finally finished eating they sat there quietly still enjoying the morning together. Cynthia was wondering what that feeling was back there when they looked at each other. So Cynthia when your done with this thing what will you do, Whitefang asked trying to start a conversation. I will probably go somewhere in Kalos to live in the wild cause I have no desire to return to my family or civilization, she said truthfully. What will you do? I don't know, I guess continue reading books and make myself a home out in the wild sort of like you, he said.

Then all of a sudden Cynthia was gone and he looked around to not see her anywhere. Cynthia, he called out. Then all of a sudden something hit him from above to see Cynthia had pounced on him from the trees and he pushed her off landing on top of her and they sat there laughing like little pups playing. They continued to tumble around down the hills till they came to a complete stop with Whitefang on top of Cynthia both panting tiredly. They then looked into each other's eyes staring at each other mesmerized.

Cynthia then started to rub under his chin in an affectionate which made Whitefang tense up. Then she got off of him smiling sheepishly, while he was blushing madly. I will see you later Whitefang probably tomorrow for I got feeling another challenge is coming up, she said. Ok uh see you tomorrow Cynthia, he said. When she left he was franticly trying to think what happened right there. He decided he wouldn't ponder on it anymore and would just go and enjoy the feeling for the rest of the day.

Back to the host (Raichu)

This next challenge is going to be a good one, they will be paired up together and have to find a certain object that I will tell them they have to find and first group to find it will receive the prize. They have to find the object before the day after tomorrow.

Next day.

Whitefang wakes up to feel something furry next to him to see that it is Cynthia sleeping peacefully next to him. Hating to stir her but he has to question her, but before he can she opens her eyes and when she feels him next to her she immediate gets up and backs away. What in the world is going on here why did I wake up next to you! same thing I was going to ask you. They then hear speakers go off somewhere nearby. Listen up everyone this is Raichu. This is you next challenge is that you will work with a partner to find a special totem on this island and you can fight each other over it and first one to win is going to win a prize of your choosing. Good luck out there and try not to kill each other. Also you need to bring it back to the docks before this evening.

Well I like who I am paired with that is all I can say Cynthia said. Though they could have just announced who are partners were instead of putting us next to each other like that, said Whitefang. I agree. So we are looking for something that represents a totem, they said. I bet the first place we should check out is places that are hard to find like not under bushes or anything like that but someplace you least expect it, said Whitefang. I think I already know where it is, come on follow me, said Cynthia. As you wish, he said. While they left they didn't know that Hardhead and Monkey got paired together and are following them.

Where Cynthia went made Whitefang admire her even more. They were at the volcano. The difference is she heads to an area where they found a cave that look like it lead to the center of the volcano but it actually doesn't and in the middle of it was what they could only be the totem they are looking for.

Well let's grab it already and win this, said Whitefang. Right I would like to also avoid the others, said Cynthia. When they grabbed it and were heading outside cave they met up with all four of the others. Hey shouldn't it only be two per group not all four, said Whitefang. I think you should keep your yap shut boy Hardhead said if we gave him the totem he will split it between the four of the, said Glenn in an excited voice.

Oh well guess we have to disappoint you all but we found it fair and square so please just let us accept this win, said Cynthia. Too bad doll but no I will get you eventually but I want to win this also so hand it over before someone gets hurt, Hardhead said. Um no Whitefang run now, and at that Cynthia used flamethrower to make a wall of fire in front of them and the two of them went of sprinting in the opposite direction of the place to return the totem to. Hardhead turns to the group make a perimeter around here they can't get to the docks any other way but this way.

When they finally stopped sprinting they stopped and in the field of all grass from before. Well we will be well hidden here said Whitefang. Yeah but the only way to get to the docks is through them, said Cynthia. Hey so where did you put the totem, he asked? I actually put it back in the cave cause none of them are smart enough to go back and look in there they would think we have, she said. Wow good strategy now let's figure out a way to get past them.

We have till tomorrow to I guess noon since that is when we about woke up at, Cynthia said yeah. Well let's think up of a plan to grab the totem and get past all of them, he said. Well I just had an idea pop in that might help us a lot, she said. The trees you have done some climbing in them right. Um a little, he said in a unsure voice. Ok well that's good enough for me, all we have to do is get past them all without them noticing us. They continue to discuss the plan until they come with a conclusion. Alright I like it, said Whitefang. Well we should go to sleep early tonight good night Whitefang and with that she goes to a separate spot from him. Later that night Whitefang awoke to the sound of someone moving. He looks hard into the bushes to see Cynthia moving shivering. He guesses that is one reason she chose to be near the volcano was to heat up. He knows she probably won't like this but he can't just let her sit there and be cold like this. He moves over to her and raps his body around her to keep her warm and the effect was almost immediate and she stopped shivering.

Next morning Cynthia wakes up to feel fur up against her body rapped around her and she looks up to see it was Whitefang. She then notices that she finds him cute when he is asleep. Though she can't guess why he did this but decided to enjoy by cuddling up more into is body. She then notices that she has actually liked him more than just a friend. Though she doesn't know how to express it to him. Then she remembered what they need to be doing so she started to nudge him with her nose. Hey White we need to get moving now, she said in a soft and gentle voice to him. At this he stirs to see her looking at him, then he starts to blush, oh hey so about this. Don't worry I am fine thanks for keeping me warm I am not use to the cold weather.

Alright now I know I like her just wish I could show it without embarrassing myself in the process. Well let's put are plan in motion now shall we, she said. Well let's get to it and with that they sprinted to the cavern with the totem in it. Alright got the totem now let's go, said Cynthia. They then sprinted across the ground until they found the first target who happens to be Flower. Alright get up in the trees Cynthia, Whitefang said. And at that he tosses the totem to her which she catch's in her tails and waits for the right moment.

Hey Flower, said Whitefang. You I will get that totem and with that she used petal dance which caused Whitefang to get knocked back. Wow didn't expect her to have that much power he then uses quick attack on her knocking her into a nearby tree. Cynthia meanwhile was now jumping from tree to tree until all of a sudden a shadow ball comes out of nowhere and hits her.

Wow Hardhead threw all the girls at us first she laughed as Glenn comes up. I really don't care about winning or the prize I just want Hardhead but he is way too interested in a girl like you to notice me, she said in a voice full of malice. Well guess what you can have him, said Cynthia still laughing. Why are you still laughing fight me, she said and at that uses poison tail but Cynthia dodges it. It's funny he is such a wuss that he sends you guys to stop us first; she continues to laugh a little harder. Where is your boyfriend is he stuck dealing with Flower, she said? Yep but it's all part of the plan and with that she uses flame charge which hits and also increases her speed. They continue to strike at each other Glenn using poison fang and tail, while Cynthia continues to use flame charge increasing her speed as they continue on. Then Cynthia was going so fast Glenn could hardly keep up with her. Come on Glenn keep following me, she said in a mocking voice. Then she heard a howl come off from the distance which is her signal well guess that's my signal be seeing you later and with that she sprints so fast to the point where Glenn could not go any farther cause of loss of breath. I will get you one day, said Glenn.

Whitefang had defeated Flower who was all out of energy and on the floor knocked out. He was now just sprinting past Glenn who was out of breath. Nice work Cynthia he thought. Then he saw who he was looking for Cynthia was right now going up against Monkey who was trying to keep up with her speed and was doing that a little. Come on standstill and give me the totem, he said in an aggravated tone. Whitefang finally you're here, and with that she moves out of the way just before a flame punch hit her. Then out of know were another shadow ball hit her making her drop the totem to see Glenn was behind them with face masked with rage. I will get you and your boyfriend little girl and that is a promise, she said. Bring it, she said and with that the two clashed with each other while Monkey fought against Whitefang. Come on book worm you can't beat me, he said mockingly. You want to bet and with that he uses flamethrower getting a direct hit on the Monferno. Then all of a sudden they heard a huge explosion to see Cynthia had used blast burn draining her of a lot of energy but knocking out both Glenn and Monkey at once.

Keep going Whitefang I will just be going at a slower pace we only got so much longer she said, looking at the sun. Ok but I am not leaving you here to get beaten to a pulp when those to get back up, he said picking her up his back. And at that they now made their way to most likely Hardhead who will be there last opponent and then it's to the finish line. When they got out of the woods they saw Hardhead waiting at for them with a smug grin.

Well it looks like you guys can make it past them but now that your all tired and out of energy beating you will be a piece of cake, he said arrogantly. Well I am mistaken Hardhead you do have a brain, said Whitefang causing Cynthia to start laughing her head off. Why you, he said angrily and charges them with a hammer are hitting Whitefang and Cynthia barley dodging. I am going to be honest he can pack a punch said Whitefang. Just then Cynthia jumped onto the back of Hardhead biting into his back since she can't use any move cause she's out of energy. Whitefang get the totem to the docks now I got this and with that she is shaken of and thrown to the grown. He knows that she is right otherwise they won't be able to win this fight or win the challenge so he starts to sprint to the docks. You're not going anywhere you… he could finish his sentence he is once again being bitten by Cynthia who is on his back. Fine if you want to get hurt I have no problem with that he said. And with that he reaches behind his back and grabs her from the tails and throws her to the grown hard.

Whitefang though is making his way towards the docks. He saw Raichu waiting there and his face lit up when he says him with the totem. Well good job Whitefang, said Raichu then he looks and see where is Cynthia? She told me to get here before her, he said recognizing that she could be still fighting and he broke out into a full out sprint. When he got there he saw her on the grown bruised and bleeding in one or two place. He looked up though to see a triumphant face on Hardhead. I finally beat you, and now I can claim my prize which is you, he said in a triumphant voice.

That was it for Whitefang he has had enough of this guy. While Hardhead was making his way over to get Cynthia she starts to try and get up and move away from him but to no avail since she has no energy left in her. Before he could get even a hand on her he was blasted into the water by something to the side. He looks up see Whitefang on the beach but his fur was on edge and was coming in for another attack. Hardhead gets up and charges him with hammer arm up, but instantly back on the ground with Whitefang on top of him with a face mask with pure anger. You are going down for what you did to her, he said in a sort of demonic sounding voice. Hey Whitefang he's down and out of it and I am ok, Cynthia called out which made him sort of snap out of the trance. What just happened he asked her. I don't know but it showed that you have a lot of power and it looks like it comes out when your angry, that just happens to be my hypothesis, said Cynthia.

Well let's go get you heal you up before we do anything else, he said. I will be find let's just go she said but was failing to stay up straight. Right just lean in on me and I will get you over there, he said. Fine, and with that she leaned into him causing him to sort of blush, thanks. When they got over to Raichu he immediately called for a medic to come and take care of Cynthia. So you completed the completion you two and you have a choice of a prize so have you made up your minds. No I we able to postpone this prize maybe till later, he asked? I have no problem with that you still have at least two more weeks on this island any ways so that means there is one more challenge before it ends, Raichu said. Do think Cynthia will be okay asked Whitefang who was very worried for her. I think she will be find she just needs to rest up here for the night and then she will be fine, said Raichu. Do you mind if I stay with her while she rests up, he asked? I have no problem with that, he said.

When he got over to were Cynthia was being treated which happened to be a big tent he saw a Audino come out. How is she doc, he asked? She will just be quiet fine she just needs to rest her legs up for the night and then her energy should be restored, the Audino said. He then thanks her and goes inside to see Cynthia on the ground with a blanket under her. Hey so how are you holding up, he asked. I'm completely fine but, she said I have to stay here for the night, she said in an annoyed voice. Well you did use up all your energy so rest would be the best thing for you, he said.

Well then you should be resting up too because you had to have used up as much energy as I have, she said in a concerned voice. You are correct there I cannot disagree with you because I am tired, and on that last note he just falls down from tired he is. Well good night Cynthia he said. Good night and with that the two ninetales fell asleep. Meanwhile Hardhead is being dragged out of the water by the other three who were all tired and beaten. When they got him out of the water they dragged him back over to a separate tent were they are all being treated.

I can't believe we were beaten by those two again but this time worse than ever, said Monkey. Yeah well I can't believe they beat my poor Hardhead to a pulp like that, said Glenn in an upset voice mixed with anger. Flower just chose to remain silent since the only reason she is here is to help her friend Glenn out. Well we will get them next time, said Monkey in a determined voice. Well let's get some rest, Flower said tiredly. When she went to bed Glenn looked over to Monkey, hey are you still awake she asked? Yes, what is it. I have an idea on how we can get pay back on those two, she said in a mischievous voice. I just need your help to do though in doing this. I am all ears he said. How about when we Hardhead is good to go again which may be a little bit we ambush those two and make sure they are no longer able to participate in the competition. I like it lets now rest and go to sleep.

Two day after the challenge

It was two days ago when Cynthia and Whitefang were released from the doc's office and they have mainly been walking around talking to each other getting to know each other more and they knew they were safe since the other took some more serious injuries. Cynthia was still limping from time to time for a little while but now she was able to run at a mild paste. Right now the sunset was going down and Whitefang has had something on his mind that he has been meaning to ask Cynthia but hasn't been able to out of fear of her reaction.

Hey so yeah thanks again for getting me out of that mess from two days ago with Hardhead seriously, she said. Well we wouldn't have won if it wasn't for your plan and you going up against him, said Whitefang. While they were walking Whitefang was wondering if he should tell her. They reached their favorite place to relax and eat which happens to be the lake. While they were looking across the water they look across the water to see the that the sunset was giving the lake a wonderful glow to it. It's beautiful and so relaxing when you're out in the wild I can say that, said Whitefang. It sure is that is one of the reasons why I want to live out there is so I can enjoy these moments whenever I want to, said Cynthia. Hey Whitefang, she said.

Yeah. Your it, she said in a mischievous voice after touching him with her paw and running away from him. Oh no you did not just do that, he said smiling and chasing after her. The two of them continued back in forth getting each other and laughing when Cynthia pushed a little too hard on Whitefang sending him into the water. Cynthia started to laugh when he popped his head out of the water and was frowning. Then he had an idea come to his mind. Wouldn't you be able to help a fellow friend out he said? While laughing she said why not and reaching out with her paw only for him to grab her by the head and drug her into the water too. When she popped her head out she was smiling nice trick, and when they got out of the water she talked him to the ground and he used his strength to push her off. They continued to roll around it a ball of fur when they finally stopped and ended with Whitefang on top of Cynthia.

When He noticed he was on top of her he immediately got off a little embarrassed. While they were resting and lying next to each other Cynthia then started to lean in to him and rested on his neck. He then stiffened up when she did this while blushing causing her to giggle. Then she licked him on the cheek which caused him to blush even more. Hey Cynthia he asked? Yes, she said while still rubbing into his neck. Do you think we could ever be more than friends he said shyly? I think we already are she said in a relaxed voice, and then she gives him a peck on the cheek. He then relaxes a lot and leans in to lay on top of her head. That night they both fell asleep near the lake edge under the stars with each other and with a new bond that is sure to last all their life.

That's the end of part one of the beginning of the series. Pls leave reviews on this story and tell me what I could do to make it better thanks.