A/N: So not actually sure how long Juuzo and Mamushi's engagement actually was, but it was summer during the Kyoto arc and now it's Christmas so I'm going with six months. (Boy certainly moved fast LOL)

It's not like Mamushi was lonely or anything like that. Despite her "uncute" mouth that monkey always says, her family loved her and she did have a few acquaintances from school she kept in touch with every now and then.

But she was weak. And it was something apparently everyone saw; including Saburota Todo. Looking back, it was pathetic how she easily fell for his trap and ended up playing the role as the traitor just like that. Her eye was barely enough payment for the trouble she had caused to the Order.

The doctors had told her it would take roughly a month for her eye socket to fully heal. That and surgery would also be needed unless she wanted to keep her eye socket empty. But she could barely listen to everything they were saying when all she could remember was leaving behind the Most High Priest alone in the woods wounded.

Not only that, but that monkey also caught her first handed playing the role as the traitor. It was so frustrating. He was always a step ahead of her in everything; grades, friends, rank, there was nothing he couldn't beat her at and yet he was always making sure she was right behind her. It made no sense why he was always so concerned about her. Just because they were the only two students from the Myōō Dharani sect didn't mean he had to babysit her like that. But now… would he even look at her after this? He left quickly after dropping her off at the inn. Obviously he had to go back to join the fight, but he barely said anything to her.

"Hojo-san," the person attending to her called.

"The doctor just left. We'll have your surgery confirmed once things have settled. They said everything was fine, but you must relax. Your heart rate hasn't slowed down since you've gotten here. I've brought you a prayer book if meditation will help, but please try to get some rest."

He set the small book next to her while he giving her a reassuring smile. It didn't help her at all.

"Thank you, I'll try and get some rest for now." She could hear herself say. Honestly, she just wanted to be alone and wallow in self-pity.

"I'll give you some space then. I believe your mother will be arriving shortly as well. I'll let you know when she is here."

With that, he had left, but Mamushi still held her breath. What was she going to do if the Most High Priest died because of her? What about her father and her sisters? They were all probably out there fighting against something she helped to awaken. What kind of disgrace has she brought to her own family? There was no way she was going to be allowed to stay in Myōō Dharani let alone the Order. But what was she going to do then? She had studied her whole life for this sect.

She spent what felt like hours going in circles and getting no answers until sheer exhaustion finally caused her to knock out for a few hours. She didn't even know she fell asleep until she felt the warmth of her mother's hand on her forehead. But not wanting to face her mother's disappointment just yet, she continued to faint asleep until she left. She managed to sleep a little longer until she finally just threw herself into mantras just to get her focus elsewhere.

There was always someone popping in to check up on her, but finally, finally it seemed like people were coming back from the battlefield. There were loud commotions happening in the lobby of the inn and multiple footsteps running back and forth signifying people returning.

"I'm going to have a look. Please lay down and stay still, Mamushi-san." Her attendant said, clearly just as curious as she was to see the result of the fight.

All of a sudden, her anxiety came rushing back at full force. There was no way she was just going to lie there! She moved like a newborn calf to the door. Hours of laying down had caused her body to groan at the point of movement. But she was going to gravel on her feet to the Most High Priest even if she had a sore body and a gaping eye socket. She'll gravel on her feet to her father, to Yaozo-san, to anyone and everyone until she can finally get rid of this guilt that had replaced the gap that was once filled with distrust and paranoia.

She barely reached for the door when someone else on the opposite side opened it instead. Her eyes widened in shock to see Juuzo Shima standing in front of her. Why did he come here so fast? Her sisters haven't even shown up yet... Did that mean they were hurt? She had so many questions she wanted, no needed, to know the answers of.

"What are you doing? Lay down!" Juuzo said, shocked to see a recently injured person try to walk.

"Saru…" Mamushi trembled, her mouth moving but she could hardly say any words. Could she deal with the truth if it was an ugly one?

But Juuzo's face only showed concern and exhaustion, no hint of sadness whatsoever. Helping to hold up her body, his hands lightly held her arms, as if he cared for her.

"First let me tell you. The Impure King has been defeated. The Most High Priest and others are all safe. So…" His face turned more careful, caring.

"Don't make that face, Mamushi…"

She was already crying before he could finish his sentence. It was more than what she could hope for. Everyone was alive! Her mess didn't cause the death of anyone she knew and loved. How could God be so kind to a screw up like her?

She crushed her face into Juuzo's chest, not caring this was breaking all her rules against this certain monkey. She needed comfort, she needed security, and his arms wrapped perfectly around her in warmth. She pretended this was normal for them. She pretended she never thought about what it was like to be this close to him. She pretended he'll forgive her like always.

Eventually, he had moved them both back to her futon so they were not awkwardly crouching by the doorway. Juuzo stroked her hair while keeping his other arm safely around her waist. Neither of them were saying anything, scared that talking might break the spell that was currently cast over them. Mamushi wondered how long she could cling onto him before he would get annoyed. Her hand was still clutching onto Juuzo's sleeve as she fell asleep again, never noticing Juuzo's face deep in thought.

When she woke up again, it was morning. And Juuzo was nowhere to be found.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Not sure how long this series will be (definitely less than 10 chapters) I'll try to keep the updates weekly :)