A/N: So this story was sitting half-finished on my laptop for a year. I had stopped writing it when it was time to write the smut, because I was having a few problems with it, and I hadn't really written smut yet. So I finished it tonight, and my writing style has changed in the past year, so the first half of this might feel a little strange or different. I should have edited it more thoroughly, but I'm too lazy. Enjoy the smut and fluff.

Lexa sighed quietly as she wound her way through the temporary small tent village on the outskirts of Arkadia. The fires burned low, but she can still make her way by the indeterminate flickering that lights her path. It has been a hard few months. Winter was harsher than they had anticipated, and they had lost a few Trikru and Skaikru. There had been much sickness, and Abby had almost worked herself into an early grave caring for the ill. And just when they thought they had turned the corner and the sickness was abating, Clarke had fallen ill.

The fever had ravaged her body for days, and Nyko and Abby had battled morning and night trying to bring the fever down. Lexa had spent hours filling bags of snow to place around Clarke's withering, flushed body. Over and over again she filled the bags praying to her ancestors, to gaia, to anyone who would listen that Clarke would be spared. She couldn't lose her. Losing Costia had cost Lexa so much, but losing Clarke would finish her. She was weak for Clarke, though she could barely bring herself to admit to it.

Eventually Clarke started to get better, regain her strength; but still Lexa looked at her with worried eyes, trying to keep her from seeing the depth of her anxiety. Clarke would just smile and pat her stomach, leaning in to her body and kiss her gently assuring her that she was fine, that she would remain fine. Slowly their lives had returned to normal, and they had found their rest and passion in each other again.

And then the raiders had some, and Clarke had been hurt in a skirmish. Lexa clearly remembered the pained cry that split the air when Clarke fell with an arrow in her side. She could still hear it at night sometimes, and would again feel the panic bubble in her chest. She would jerk awake gasping for air, her hands flung out to feel for Clarke's warm body lying beside her. Clarke would murmur and run her fingers through her hair, whispering and assuring her that she was ok, that she was here. She would lean in and lightly kiss Lexa's neck and run her fingers up under her sleep shirt. But each time, Lexa would gently grab her hand and link their fingers together telling her no, not yet, she wasn't fully healed. She would shush Clarke's complaints and roll her over on her side and curl her body around her, pushing her front into Clarke's back. Holding her and keeping her safe.

The wound had taken its toll on Clarke, and she was slower to recover. She still wasn't fully recovered, despite her attempts at assuring Lexa that she was, and despite her attempts at seducing Lexa when they lay in bed.

Clarke for her part was starting to get irritated with Lexa. She loved how protective Lexa was of her, but it had been a month, and she was healed. True, if she exerted herself too much her side would twinge reminding her of what could have happened had the raider's aim been better. Her attempts at seduction had failed in the dark of night when they lay together in bed, kissing and laughing quietly. She had tried soft kisses and hard kisses, massages, and tight revealing clothing. She had even tried pleading and bribing, only to discover that Lexa was a mountain that would not be moved.

She missed the way Heda would come out and play, how Lexa's eyes would darken and glint with barely repressed lust when Clarke toyed with her a little too much, a little too long. Clarke had gloried in the lilac blossoms that would decorate her skin, and many times she had shushed Lexa's worries that she had pressed a little too hard or nipped a little too harshly.

But Lexa insisted that Clarke was not ready for their normal rigorous and energetic lovemaking. And Lexa feared that she wouldn't be able to hold back once she tasted Clarke again, so she refused. Steadfastly and irrefutably, much to Clarke's exasperation.

But now…well Clarke was enterprising if nothing else, and she had finally hit upon a plan that she believed would work. She had slowly been wearing Lexa down, and now she was prepared for the ultimate assault. Lexa had always been rather stoic, and she was good at denying herself what she really wanted, all in the name of duty, or misplaced ideas of gallantry. She had denied herself her whole life, except for two times; and both times had cost her.

Lexa always burned like cold fire, burned like snow on flesh that had been exposed for too long. And even when Clarke touched her, she often managed to keep some shred of her control, much to Clarke's consternation. But eventually Clarke had learned that the total loss of control frightened Lexa, made her doubt herself, and fear for Clarke's safety; that if she let go; she wouldn't be able to keep Clarke from harm. She needed that shred of control to recognize possible danger and prevent it.

But Clarke had learned of one thing that made Lexa lose that last bit of iron control that made her lust rise, and her eyes spark. She came undone under Clarke's careful ministrations, and Lexa both loved and despised it. Clarke had learned to use it sparingly, to wield Lexa's desire like a finely tuned blade, not a weapon.

But tonight? Tonight she was done with Lexa's worried eyes and gentle kisses. Tonight, Lexa would give her what she wanted.

Lexa sighed again as she hesitated outside the flaps of their tent. Truth be told, Clarke was starting to wear her down. She missed Clarke, missed her warmth and the feel of her skin sliding against her own. But all she had to do was picture her pale, fevered body that burned and withered; or remember the still red, healing flesh on her side, and she would viciously crush her ardor. She needed to be stronger.

Lexa stepped through the flap, her eyes lighting up when she saw her companion. She smiled as Clarke straightened from her crouch on the tent floor as she had been positioning a new, thick bear skin. She raised one eyebrow noting the short white cotton shorts and thin camisole she wore. Short shorts. Very short shorts. So short, that she could see the curve of Clarke's bottom.

She immediately felt the first warm tendrils of desire curl through her lower abdomen and her heart pounded a little harder. She swallowed thickly, noting the dryness of her mouth. She wasn't surprised, all the moisture in her mouth was steadily making its way South.

"Klark," she husked as she walked further into the room, anxious to kiss her.

Clarke spun around on her heels and quickly stood.

"Leska!" She beamed at the brunette, noting the gleam in her eye. She beckoned her over and held her arms open for the commander, who quickly walked into them happy to finally be back in their tent. She wrapped both arms around her and nuzzled her cheeks dropping soft kisses on the smooth, lightly tanned skin.

Lexa sunk into the warm embrace, letting herself rest for moment in Clarke's arms, enjoying the brief respite from always having to be Heda. Here, with Clarke, in their tent, she was simply Lexa, and she was safe and free.

She pulled back lightly and rubbed her nose across Clarke's eliciting a chuckle from the blonde. "What were you doing with the bearskin?"

"Ah, well… let me show you," and with a noticeable twinkle in her eye, Clarke let her hands fall to Lexa's waist and gently pulled her to the edge of the bearskin.

Lexa tried not to stumble in her eagerness as she followed Clarke's guiding hands, allowing her to place her just where she wanted. She felt her breath hitch when warm, blue eyes sparkled at her, and she couldn't resist reaching out and tenderly caressing the face in front of her. She let her fingers feather lightly over her jawline, and she smiled when she felt warm lips press into her palm.

"What are you doing?" She barely managed to squeeze the words out past her dry throat, as she watched Clarke slowly sink to her knees on the bearskin rug. She barely suppressed a whimper, when Clarke looked up at her and licked her lips lightly, her blue eyes widening in feigned innocence.

"Let me show you," Clarke whispered as she curled her fingers around the leather laces holding Lexa's pants together. She only managed to get one tie undone before long, slender fingers grasped her own, pressing them lightly against the worn leather of her pants.

"Klark."

Clarke heard the warning in the rough voice, but she also heard the slight waver that told her Lexa wanted this, but was worried about whether or not she should want it. She smiled gently, looking up into wide green eyes that had a spark of something in them that Clarke couldn't quite identify yet.

"It's ok, Leska," she murmured as she leaned in, pressing her mouth against Lexa's hands. She gently slid her tongue along the length of Lexa's fingers that were still tangled with her own. She sucked on her knuckles, swirling her tongue around them, licking and nipping gently between each finger. She smiled when Lexa's lips parted, and her chest heaved slightly. And when Lexa's fingers slowly loosened, and her hands fell back to her sides, Clarke beamed in triumph.

"Y-you really don't have to do this. Not like this," Lexa managed to choke out. "The bed," she offered weakly, trying to step back, but Clarke grabbed her by the hips, holding her steady, in place.

"Leska, we've done this before," she assured her as she tilted her head back, resting her chin on Lexa's tight abdomen.

"Sha, but I was sitting on the bed," muttered Lexa weakly, not wanting to admit how badly she wanted to continue, not wanting to acknowledge how seeing Clarke on her knees, in submission and supplication, made her belly tighten, and her vision swim.

Clarke smiled and nodded, grasping one of Lexa's hands, kissing the palm and fingers before resting it against her cheek, and sliding it up into her hair. "Just grab hold," she whispered.

Lexa flexed her fingers against the feel of Clarke's soft hair, and she instinctively curled her fingers against her scalp, wrapping some of her hair in her loose fist. It wasn't a tight hold, far too loose to hurt, and even too loose to really use to guide or direct Clarke, like the blonde wanted. But it was enough to give her the illusion of control, when they both knew it was Clarke in control.

Lexa cupped Clarke's chin with her other hand, rubbing her thumb lightly across her lips. And she bit her own lower lip when Clarke opened her mouth, and Lexa pushed her thumb into her mouth, pressing down on her tongue, causing Clarke to open her mouth wider.

"You're beautiful," Lexa whispered, her voice reverent, soft.

Clarke smiled slightly around the thumb pressing into her tongue. She reached out and finished unlacing Lexa's breeches, and pulled them down to her ankles. And then she waited. She waited with her hands curled loosely in her lap while Lexa simply stared at her, the green of her eyes darkening slightly, the glints of gold swirling in them flashing briefly into starbursts and dying abruptly as Lexa nodded slowly.

Clarke moved her hands behind her back, clasping her arms at the elbows. The position made her back arch slightly, pushing her breasts out, and she barely managed to keep from clamping her mouth around Lexa's thumb when the brunette's eyes immediately strayed to Clarke's cleavage. But she kept her head held up, staring straight at Lexa's belly, knowing that Lexa liked to be able to see her eyes.

Lexa pulled her thumb from Clarke's mouth, knowing she needed to swallow, but as soon as she had done so, she tightened her fist slightly and gently tugged Clarke's head towards her lower belly. "I believe you promised me something?"

Clarke dipped her head slightly, hiding her smile as she brought her hands around to the front, still waiting for another command, knowing that sometimes she needed to give Lexa time to appreciate a new role.

Lexa bit her lip again looking down before jiggling her leg slightly, "My pants. Take them off, and then my shorts."

Clarke immediately grabbed her pants and her leg, lifting her leg up, so she could pull the pants from around her ankles. She repeated the action with the other leg and then tossed the breeches aside. She shifted and pulled herself up fully on her knees and curled her fingers around the top of Lexa's small, thin shorts. She pulled them down slowly, pressing soft kisses to her lower belly, only for Lexa to tighten tug her firmly by the hair.

"I didn't say to do that. Let's try again."

Clarke nodded, "I'm sorry, Heda." She dropped her head quickly, trying to hide her grin at Lexa's light hiss when she called her Heda. Lexa preferred Clarke to only see her as Lexa and not Heda, but she couldn't deny that sometimes hearing Clarke call her Heda was intoxicating.

Once she had helped Lexa out of her shorts, she sat back on her heels, hands behind her back, waiting patiently. But Lexa only shifted, flexing her fingers slightly in Clarke's hair. She licked her lips and raised up on her knees again, knowing Lexa needed a little help. "Heda, can I touch you?"

Lexa nodded, her relief palpable. "Touch me, and don't stop," she muttered, heat slipping up her neck and blooming in her cheeks. She was sure it sounded just as silly and weak in Clarke's ears as it did in her's, but the moment she felt Clarke's lips against her warm skin, she stopped caring.

She went slow, nibbling and kissing along the soft skin of Lexa's lower abdomen, letting Lexa guide her, although the brunette didn't so much guide, as simply manage to keep her hand in Clarke's hair, as Clarke moved. She kissed and sucked around her sharp hipbones, letting her hands slip around to cup Lexa's bottom. She licked and kissed the small valleys underneath her hip bones, slowly sinking back on her heels as she continued to kiss and lick her way down to the top of Lexa's sex.

She cupped Lexa's bottom more firmly, coaxing the older girl to lean into her and widen her stance. She blew across her sex, secretly delighting in the way Lexa shivered, tightening her grip in Clarke's hair. She angled her head, so she could gently lick her crease, teasing Lexa's slit lightly. She blew against the peach fuzz on her outer lips, before looking up and tugging Lexa sharply towards her mouth, and sliding her tongue between her lips.

She hummed at the first taste of Lexa on her tongue, warm and sweet with a tinge of salt. It reminded her of the sea-salt chocolate that Lexa had given her a few months ago. She'd traded one of the southern clans for it, and when Clarke had taken her first bite, it had reminded her of Lexa immediately, salty sweet.

Lexa barely bit back her groan at the feel of Clarke's tongue sliding between her lips. She bit her lip hard, suddenly worried that she might cum too soon, but the thought of Clarke's face shining wet with her cum, made her jerk her hips slightly and tighten her hold in Clarke's hair. She looked up at the ceiling for a moment, trying to regulate her breathing, before she looked back down at Clarke.

She meant to command her, but the moment her gaze met wide, blue eyes, her mouth went completely dry and she could barely squeak out her name. "Klark."

Clarke smiled, pulling back just a little. "Sha, Heda?"

"I-I…" She stuttered, but couldn't think of the proper words to tell Clarke how beautiful she was, how much she loved her, how she would love with her last breath and beyond; but she didn't need to say it.

"I know," Clarke whispered, seeing clearly all that Lexa felt stamped across her normally stoic face. She kissed the top of Lexa's mons, before smiling at her and returning to her task. She kissed and sucked at Lexa's outer lips, slipping her tongue between them.

Clarke flattened her tongue and licked up the center of Lexa's sex, letting the tip of her tongue rest on the underside of Lexa's clit. She gently traced the little pearl with her tongue, simply letting Lexa get used to the weight of her tongue. She circled around her clit, then flicked her tongue across the tip of it. She coaxed it gently from its hood, and when she felt it begin to swell a little, she rolled her tongue letting her clit slip into the tube of her tongue. She flexed her tongue around it, gently massaging the sides of her clit, and she felt it swell more. She bobbed her head forward and back again. She sucked it back into her mouth, circling it and then flicking underneath the head. It never failed to make Lexa's clit swell and harden. And when it was hard and plump enough, she scraped her teeth across the exposed head.

Lexa growled, jerking her hips forward, bumping Clarke's nose with her belly. She saw flashes of white in her vision at the feel of Clarke's teeth on her clit, and she didn't know whether she should push the girl away or pull her closer, the pleasure edged in just enough pain to make her tremble.

Clarke took mercy on her and released her clit with a small pop, kissing it on the very tip, before gripping Lexa's bottom a little tighter, squeezing the supple, firm flesh in her hands. She wanted to drink all of Lexa, and she hunched her shoulders slightly, dragging her tongue through her folds. She hummed when she slid her tongue through the valley of her inner lips, and she sucked them in between her lips, running her tongue along the furled edges.

Lexa pumped her hips slightly, muttering in her own language, words that didn't make particular sense to either of them. She tightened against Clarke's mouth, groaning softly at the feel of the heat of her mouth against her wet sex. She felt the heat in her belly expand and fill her muscles as they strained for more. She pulled Clarke's head more firmly into her sex, and she felt tingles rushing along her skin. She widened her legs further to give Clarke more room, despite the growing urge to simply hump her face, drag her clit along her nose and lips, her cheekbones. She tried to steady her trembling muscles, breathing deeply and exhaling in a harsh rush, but she couldn't focus long enough to regain control of her body, as she felt Clarke's tongue insistently push between her folds, tracing her moist flesh, teasing her slick entrance.

Lexa felt the heat coiling harshly in her belly, making her muscles strain and tighten. She whimpered in a manner most unbecoming of a Heda, and she could feel herself slowly breaking a part. Her skin was flushed, on the edge of being moist, and she rotated her hips slightly, trying to guide Clarke's tongue back to her clit. She growled in frustration when she felt Clarke's tongue relax and flick against her entrance, but she decided to forgive her when Clarke dipped her tongue inside. Her swollen, inner muscles instinctively tried to grab the tip of Clarke's tongue and pull her in, but Clarke resisted, pulling back and continuing to trace around her opening, gathering the wetness along her tongue only to smear it messily against her clit.

Clarke panted hard against Lexa's swollen sex. Her neck ached from the awkward angle, her head stung from where Lexa had tugged just a little too hard, and her face was wet from Lexa's glistening sex. Her musk lay heavy on her tongue, and she was overwhelmed with the urge to simply bury her face inside of Lexa, but she resisted, instead grinding her tongue against Lexa's swollen clit. She hummed hard against it, knowing she would feel the vibrations, and she was rewarded with Lexa garbling her name, and her hips pumping and pressing into her mouth.

She pulled back, wrapping her hand around Lexa's thigh, coaxing her to lift her leg and put it on her shoulder. It was less awkward then trying to angle her neck, and gave her more room, but Lexa looked slightly bewildered at the change in position.

"Can you stand like this, Heda?" She kept her voice innocent, knowing it would rouse Lexa's desire to prove she could do it. And once Lexa eagerly nodded, she pressed her mouth against Lexa's sex again, slipping her tongue inside of her as much as she could. She sucked and thrust her tongue as deep as it would go, filling her mouth with Lexa. She could feel Lexa trying to pull her in, and she pushed harder, feeling Lexa's wetness smear across her face. She pulled back so she could breath, and rolled her tongue again, fitting the opening against Lexa's clit, and let it slide in. She shivered at the feel, and she flexed her tongue around the pulsating nodule. She massaged it and bopped her head again, feeling it harden and swell.

Lexa grasped Clarke's head with both hands and closed her eyes tightly, seeing shapes and colored shadows flickering and fading. She could feel the swelling in her clit, and she was sure it would burst. She could feel her orgasm, her impending release, threatening to steal her breath, her sight, her balance. It was just out of reach, sitting blurry and sharp on the edges of her nerves. And with one last insistent tug of Clarke's mouth on her clit, she felt the cold burn sweep up through her straining muscles, and her mouth fell open, and Clarke's name tumbled past her lips, straining and brutal.

Her chest heaved and her sex clenched, and she was sure she had probably drowned Clarke in the cum that slipped wetly from her body. Her body jerked once, twice, and she groaned pushing against Clarke's face when she felt the brunette's hot mouth close sharply around her clit and suck hard. She tugged on Clarke's hair, trying to dislodge her from her over-sensitized clit, but she couldn't make her stop.

She reached down, her fingers sliding around the base of Clarke's skull again, and she humped her hips forward, her clit catching on Clarke's chin, and she groaned, her fingers locking Clarke in place. She humped her hips again, rubbing her aching clit against Clarke's chin, along her cheekbone, smearing herself all across Clarke's willing face. She felt the burning in her toes, and this time it itched its way up her legs and buried itself in her belly. The sharp lancing heat in her belly made her want to scream but she didn't, as the tendrils of heat seeped through her fatigued muscles, and she shook in Clarke's arms, whimpering and twisting, as her second orgasm pulsed along her shredded nerves.

Clarke suckled the straining bundle of nerves, milking Lexa's first orgasm from her, determined to carry her through it. She felt the hot moisture bathe her chin, and she groaned around Lexa's clit, as the brunette pumped her hips against her mouth. She had resisted when Lexa tugged on her hair, knowing the older girl wasn't done yet. And she'd been shocked and excited when Lexa had grabbed her head holding her in place, and had rubbed herself against her face, smearing her juices and cum all across her face, while Lexa rode out her second orgasm.

She barely managed to catch Lexa as the girl's lets gave out, and she slumped to the floor. Clarke pulled her into her lap, stroking her hair back from her flushed face. She smiled at the trembling in Lexa's long, coltish legs, and she wrapped her up in her arms, rocking her gently, kissing her flushed face.

"I-I…" her voice was rough and strained, and her eyes fluttered shut. Her heart was hammering against her ribs, and she could barely breathe. She relaxed into Clarke's arms, safe and content in the warm cocoon of her body. She nuzzled her face into her neck and wrapped one arm around her neck.

"I love you," she whispered, "thank you." Her voice shook and cracked a little on the last words, and she trembled slightly in Clarke's arms, burrowing deeper.

Clarke smiled and hummed quietly, still rocking Lexa. She might be Heda, the Commander of Blood, and she might rule the thirteen clans, but Clarke still knew how to reduce her to a wanton, soft mess. And it was moments like these, when Lexa let herself go enough to let herself be seen when she thought she was at her weakest, that Clarke knew she was her strongest; and it was these moments she cherished above all others.

She disentangled Lexa's arms from around her, and stiffly clambered to her feet, despite Lexa's needy whines and protestations. She pulled Lexa up with her and guided her to their bed, pushing her back on the bed, under the covers, before pulling off her own shirt and shorts and sliding in next to Lexa. She immediately opened her arms, and the older girl curled into them, molding her body to Clarke's. She buried her face in Clarke's neck, sighing and shivering still.

Clarke smiled and tucked Lexa tightly into her body, kissing the crown of her head. "I love you, my beautiful messy girl." She laughed when Lexa grunted at her.

A/N: Thoughts?