DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN OR CLAIM ANY RIGHT TO THE HUNGER GAMES TRILOGY. WISH I DID THOUGH CAUSE IT'S FUCKING FABULOUS

A/N: Chapter one starts today! YAY ^.^ When Peeta came back hijacked it broke my soul, So I wanted to write an AU were he wasn't. But the more I thought about it, it just seemed to perfect for him to come mostly unharmed. Don't get me wrong I fucking love Everlark and want it to be nothing BUT perfect. I just felt it wasn't true enough to the mocking jay. Because nothing is ever picture perfect because of the Capitol and I wanted to capture this in a way that didn't involve Peeta no longer loving Katniss.

When we arrive in the hospital wing, the place is in an uproar. Doctors shouting orders and the wounded being wheeled through the halls in their bed. We're side swiped by a gurney bearing an unconscious emaciated young woman with a shaved head. Her flesh showing deep bruises and oozing scabs. Johanna Mason. Who actually knew rebel secrets. And this is how she has paid for it.

Through a doorway, I catch a glimpse of Gale, stripped to the waist, perspiration streaming down his faces a doctor removes something from under his shoulder blade with a long pair of tweezers. Wounded, but alive. I call his name and start towards him until a nurse pushes me back and shuts me out.

"Finnick!" Something between a shriek and cry of joy. A lovely if somewhat bedraggled young woman – dark tangled hair – sea green eyes – runs towards us in nothing but a sheet. "Finnick!" And suddenly, it's as if there is no one else in the world these two, crashing through space to reach each other. They collide, enfold, lose their balance and slam against a wall, were they stay. Clinging to one been invisible.
A pang of jealously hits me. Not for either Finnick or Annie, but for their certainty. No one seeing them could doubt their love.

Boggs, looking a little worse for wear but uninjured, finds Haymitch and me. "We got them all out. Except Enobaria. But since she's from two, we doubt she's been held anyway. Peeta got the worse of it we're not sure-"
I cut his sentence off as the worst outcome begins to rush throughout my entire being. "Not sure what?!" I begin to scream. "Where is he?! What happened?! What did they do!?" I scream as loud as my voice will allow me. Haymitch takes me into his embrace for comfort. And he is the only one who understands. He loves Peeta too, like a son anyway.
"You need to breathe sweetheart, otherwise you'll be on a gurney too." He whispers letting me go. I attempt to shackle up enough composure for Boggs to continue biting my tongue from screaming again.
Boggs looks at me, then Haymitch as if asking permission to begin talking again. Haymitch gives a quick nod.
"Peeta was the worst affected. He was tortured. Bad. They've put him on a lot of machines and monitors to try and basically restart his body."
I know if I begin to talk I won't be able to hold in the hopelessness that is riddling me. Fortunately Haymitch speaks for me. "What does that mean? Restart his body?"
"I'm sorry, I just don't think it'll be helpful to explain details, you may not be able to handle it." He says softly motioning for us to sit down out of the way of all the patients and hospital staff.
I sit down and swallow hard before whispering, "No. I want to know." I look up and meet his gaze, we both know I can't take this well but I need to know.
"They starved him. Worse that I've ever seen, his internal organs began to shut down. Peeta took beatings, brutal beatings, half a dozen ribs are broken, also his one good leg also. He will need skin replacement surgery for the burns. Peeta is still been given stitches, not to mention the blood transfusions. He has a collapsed lung, so he is on oxygen too."
My body becomes numb. I don't know how I feel. All I can think is that Peeta didn't know any secrets of the rebellion.

I don't realise I'm crying and lost in thought until Haymitch brings me out of it. Looking up at them both, they stare with wide eyes, unsure how I will react. I'm still wondering that myself. "Can I see him?" is all I can muster.
Boggs turns around to look at the nurses' station, he doesn't even say a word and a nurse nods. He turns towards us and motions us to follow him. I follow Haymitch, who follows Boggs. With everything running through my head, I can't rationalise myself in time before I see him.

Hallowed cheeks, yellow skin with every inch with either a bruise or a bandage. Tubes running from him, everywhere. Dozens of monitors beeping, all with a different purpose. I feel my feet come out from under me, my whole body becoming limp with shock. My hand clasps my mouth as I let out an incredibly ugly sob. Nothing could have prepared me for this moment. I feel deep regret that I never savoured every moment with him, even if I did I don't think it could have ever been enough. Boggs leaves us, quickly darting out, and Haymitch stares in disbelief, more sober then I had ever seen him before. He approaches a bland blue chair beside the bed and sits himself down and rests his head in his hands.

I don't remember falling asleep, but the fatigue from staying up all night waiting must've taken over me. When I look up to my surroundings I find myself in my compartment alone, I assume Prim and my mother at the hospital tending to patients. When the memory of Peeta's body becomes the centre of my thoughts, I throw myself up giving myself a head spin. I sprint. As fast I am able to the hospital wing. I don't remember how to get to Peeta's room from the hospital wing, which makes me becoming increasingly frustrated with myself. I run down every hallway that feels familiar and eventually find myself in front of his door. I'm almost too scared to see him in that state again but the longing for his presence takes over me.

When I open the door this time his eyes are open, he looks more alive now that I can his features move. I'm disappointed that my face was not the first face he saw when he woke, but he sees it now. He looks up at me with doubt, as if I'm not standing before him. "Katniss." He whispers is disbelief.
I want to scream and crash myself into him but I know as soon as I do I will probably pull out too many tubes he needs to stay alive and break more bones. I'm almost in disbelief when he smiles at me. "You're awake" is all I can say standing frozen in place.
"You can come here" Peeta says as he weakly pulls his arm to me.
"I'm too afraid." I say softly. I can feel the cries bubbling up but I try to repress them, I need to stay strong for Peeta.
"Why?" he says pulling his arm back.
"I don't want to hurt you again." As soon as the words leave my lips the sobs begin. A hideous animal cry comes out, a cry of unfathomable despair and pain. And I can't give in anymore, I push myself to him and crash my lips into his. I feel his arms wrap around me and all I can do is take in everything of him, his smell, his warmth, the texture of his lips. This kiss wasn't like the one on the beach or the cave. This one fills me with much more relief and ecstasy. I try to memorise everything of him so I can never lose it again.

Then I let out the words I tried so hard to never let myself feel, but I could never feel anything else for my boy with the bread. "I love you."