"I've been having memories of this other life. A life where my mom was murdered by a man in yellow, and I was taken in by Detective West.

Apparently, there I was a hero named The Flash, instead of the Flash we have now. Also, Ramon Industries was Star Labs, and Cisco Ramon never became rich. Wally West came to live with Detective West and his daughter after Wally's mother died. Joe West wasn't an alcoholic either." Cisco continues.

"Wait, when did this happen? I don't remember this." Joe asks with confusion.

"It must have been Flashpoint." Caitlin realizes.

"My father was killed by a speedster named Zoom, and I was locked up in a glass cage. I thought that the people I was having memories of were my friend, but they can't be my friends if they locked me in a cage, can they? It's strange, isn't it? Having memories of another life? At first I thought these were dreams I confused as reality, but it seemed to be happening more and more. So, then I decided to look through my journal, and I found entries that I had written from that other life. As I read them, my memories from that other life slowly started to come back." Cisco continues.

"Wait, he was starting to forget his memories? Is that why he came back?" Julian asks.

"I used to be a superhero like you, then I took an arrow to the back." Cisco reads, snorting at Barry's joke.

"No, but really, I got shot in the back by an arrow. Oliver was supposed to be training me, but apparently his idea of "training" was shooting me in the back with an arrow. I still feel that every time it rains, thanks Oliver." Cisco continues.

"Is it wrong that I thought that was funny?" Iris asks.

"Hi, my name is Savitar. I know, you see me as a monster, trust me, I've heard it before. I wasn't originally called Savitar. I was Barry Allen, until my future self goes back in time to stop Zoom. I died, and it would have stayed that way, had Barry not created Flashpoint. In 2020, Barry Allen creates time remnants to help stop me from killing Iris." Cisco reads.

"But… why is Savitar writing in Barry's journal?" Joe asks.

"I killed all of them, but one: me. Not only had I died, but now Team Flash had shunned me because I wasn't the "true" Barry Allen." Cisco continues.

"No. No! I don't believe it! This has to be a lie!" Joe shouts.

"I was an aberration, a mistake, an abomination, blah blah blah. It was then that I realized the truth: God feels no pain, all I had to do was become one, and so I found the Philosopher's Stone. Of course, with anyone wanting to become a God, he needs followers, and so I went back in time and spread my message across time, and the multiverse." Cisco continues. Julian was shaking at this point. Savitar was this monster, this faceless monster, how can Savitar be Allen?

"I created Alchemy to be my right-hand man, and of course Julian betrayed me. I turned Wallace into a speedster to be my right-hand man, and of course the kid betrayed me. When Caitlin Snow became Killer Frost, well, I seized the opportunity. Finally, I had a right-hand man by my side. I didn't want to kill Iris West, but I had no choice. For my ascension to happen, Barry had to be driven so far into the dark that he becomes me, and he must create time remnants to stop me. I considered killing him at some point, but I couldn't risk it, so I decided to kill the precious Iris West instead." Cisco continues.

"I never wanted to join him. What the hell?" Caitlin shrieks.

"I'm so excited! What am I so excited about, you ask, only the greatest achievement in science of course! The Particle Accelerator will activate tonight. Did I mention that I was excited? Harrison Wells' work in quantum theory is light-years ahead of anything they're doing at Cern.
I just hope that I make it in time to see it, I'd hate to miss it." Cisco continues reading.

"Well I guess it's safe to say that he didn't make it safely." Caitlin snorts.

"You know I've been involved in two instances of hypothermia so far? Once when I was frozen by Killer Frost, the other when I had to fake my death to escape from Grodd. You know what I was thinking in both instances? This is peaceful. In both instances I almost let myself die, but I didn't. I'd considered it though." Cisco reads.

"Alright, that's it! I've had enough! All he ever writes about is the various ways that he's thought about suicide. He needs help!" Joe shouts, and that's when he runs to get Barry.

Barry had discovered that Joe had stolen his journal, he's not that unobservant. Still, he knew that it would be a matter of time before one, or more of them showed up. So, he had plenty of time to do what he needed to do. So, he grabs his spare journal, and writes one last entry.

"This is it. This is the day that I finally achieve what I've wanted to do since day one. Today is the day that finally, finally I can die. I've tried several attempts to die already, and yet none of them worked. Well, I know one way to end this. All I would have to do is vibrate my hand through my chest, and crush my own heart. I do hate that you found me this way but…" Barry writes. After stopping at the word but, Barry vibrates his hand, and that's when he shoves it through his chest, and crushes his heart.

Blood covers the last page of his journal, and Barry's body falls limp.

Barry Allen was found dead in his apartment the next morning, with blood covering the spare journal that he had been writing in.