A/N: Okay! I guess I was a little forward in the Pilot since I only received one digit reviews! [Cries] but maybe y'all are just shy so hopefully this chapter will open up your reviewing skills!
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The One Where Lydia Moves In
… …
After hours of playing catch-up at the Beacon Grill Diner 'Blasta' with Lydia, the gang decided to take a beat and give Lydia a downtown New York City tour!
"So this is the apartment building." Allison introduced as the group of friends approached the girls' apartment. "Scott, Isaac and Stiles live across the hall."
Lydia hummed, not particularly amused at the scenery.
It was open plan with only a few doors leading to presumably the bedrooms and bathroom. Not her cup of tea.
Hey girl! Not everyone can afford to have a red carpet paving their way to the toilet seat! Oh wait, you're broke so welcome to the club! Get used to it.
"It's not that great but…it is a relatively safe neighborhood." Allison stated. Just then a honk of a few vehicles appeared from outside.
"I'm going to kill you!" One of the cab drivers shouted.
Lydia widened her eyes, cocking an eyebrow at Allison who grinned nervously, shrugging her shoulders.
"It's relative. Relative," Allison stated.
At least it wasn't an apartment in Bushwick? That' a plus, right?
Lydia sighed.
"I'm telling you the rat had the tail the size of Tribeca!" Stiles said to the boys as the emerged from the stairs.
She dropped her luggage to the ground.
"You guys will grab the bags right? Thank you!" Lydia whispered to the boys before waltzing into the apartment in royal class and elegancy.
The guys snuck a look between each other. You'd expect them to riot but instead, they could contain themselves from charging for the bags of the new hot girl.
"What do you have in this bag? Your entire mansion?" Scott questioned.
"Mufasa?" Stiles added, struggling to carry the heavy bags.
"Shrek?" Isaac pointed out.
"I don't keep your parents in my bag if that's what you're asking?" Lydia pointed out.
Malia laughed at the shamefaced boys. "Ooh burn! I like her."
"Feisty one, I see!" Isaac said. "Now I see why your dad kicked you out. You're a goat!"
"Oh!" Scott and Stiles brawled but stopped themselves when they reiterated his words in their heads.
"Wait! What?" Stiles questioned.
"What does a goat even…?" Scott asked, shaking his head in disapproval.
"Disappointment man." Stiles stated in disgust.
"You know? A goat is pretty much the most irrelevant farm animal out there. I would know because I had a goat." Isaac clarified.
Everyone ignored him.
Kira suddenly appeared from the bathroom with a tester in her grasp.
"Yes! I'm only one more stomach flu away from my goal weight!" She grinned happily.
What's up with quirky, unconfident, awkward girls? Always thinking they're fat when they're not!
"What? No tour? Where's the upstairs?" Lydia asked incredulously.
The gang shared a look before turning back to the new/old friend.
"Honey. This is it?" Allison said, making it come out as a question.
Lydia gasped. "Wow! There's only one floor? My, my how the mighty have fallen." She added, whispering the last part to herself.
"B-but we do have a fire escape!" Kira pointed out with Malia grinning in return.
Lydia scanned the room. "So I'm assuming I have a boudoir set up?" She posed. Eyebrows frowned. "Where will I be sleeping?"
"Oh, oh! Of course!" Allison exclaimed as she began skimming through the room. "Um…You can sleep in this room." She said, gesturing to the room titled 'Malia's chamber! Cross my path if you dare!'
"But—But—" Malia tried to protest, only to earn a glare from her friends. "I'll just move my stuff…" She sighed, dropping her head as she marched to her previous bedroom and scratching out the poster on her door with her fingers.
"Okay…" Allison sighed. "I hope you enjoy it here. You can stay as long as you want. Everything's in good shape oh but except the toilet seat. It's a little detached and squeaky and I have a roach problem but the exterminator will be here tomorrow, I promise."
"Yeah, that's what she said two years ago." Stiles whispered lowly to himself.
Lydia nodded, unsure of how to take this information. She was still reeling over the fact that she just recently got dumped by her dad and she caught her fiancé making out with her mom.
"Oh and uh, the neighbors usually get rowdy on most nights." Malia pointed out. "Some of them are college students."
"Oh the good old days!" Stiles mused.
"Hey, Isaac? How are you feeling about your audition? Did you talk to Carolina?"
"Yep! She told me she'd talk to the Editor and Chief about it. Thanks again dude! I really mean it." Isaac said as he pulled Scott into a tightened bro hug.
"W-wait? What are they talking about?"
"Isaac's a scarf model so Scott helped get him a gig on SCARVES. com. SCARVES Couture is this big magazine owned by the Victoria Argent." Allison said.
"Victoria as in your biological mom?" Lydia asked.
"No! My mom died when I was six, remember Lyds?" Ally pointed out.
"Oh, right! Sorry!"
"Anyway, so SCARVES. com is kinda like Vogue. com for the scarf market!" Kira said. "I have their whole collection, silk, cotton, polyester!"
"I don't know why you're not my girlfriend." Isaac stated.
Kira giggled as she sheepishly snuck a glance at Scott.
"Scott's girlfriend…well ex-girlfriend, Carolina works there so Scott talked to her about Isaac and –"
"I'm going to be on Scarves Couture!" Isaac began boogying down –horribly so by the way.
"Stop. Just stop." Allison said to Isaac, patting his shoulder.
"That's a real solid you're doing for Isaac, Scott. Bros before sisters was always my mantra well…that was until I knocked up my lesbian ex-wife." Stiles said, but instantly regretted it when he realized Lydia was in the room.
"Are you serious?" Lydia demanded.
"Yep! You remember Caitlin?" Scott answered for him. "The girl we met at that party…"
Stiles kicked him in the shins, causing Scott to erupt in pain.
"Ow! You know, I've got a tranq-gun!" Scott warned.
It was bad enough that Stiles' childhood crush appeared at his worst time in his life but to let her know that he married his college sweetheart who he happened not to realize was playing for a different team. Let's just say, humiliating himself to his high school crush about his embarrassing past love life was not on his agenda.
"I-it is a complicated dynamic." Stiles cleared things up.
"I'll say." Malia laughed, popping her head out the door.
"I guess I missed a lot, hey?" Lydia laughed.
"We could spare you all the details." Allison said. "Come on! Sit! Tell us again why and how the Lydia Martin got stranded in the streets of New York?"
Lydia sighed as she took a seat on one of the couches with the gang following suit.
"Well um…Jackson and I called off the wedding." She told them.
"What? When? Why? What happened?" Allison questioned.
"Who's Jackson?" Kira asked awkwardly.
"A Jackass." Scott and Stiles said in unison.
"Jackson and I were together since freshman year of high school, on and off and we both went to college together."
"Omigosh, you were high school sweethearts? How cute." Kira muttered, doughy eyed.
"Yeah well…We got engaged after my college graduations for four years until we broke it off a couple of days ago after I caught him making out with my mother." Lydia said, laughing at the thought. "It's pretty sick but my parents' sex life was non-existent, they barely even talked to each other. I guess I should've understood my mother seemed to want to fill a void but I couldn't believe Jackson would do this to me. For two years!"
Everyone fell silent.
"What? Did you all know Jackson was capable of this?"
"He was a jackass." Scott said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Who's this Jackson? I want to give him a taste of Malia Tate." Malia uttered as she came out of her room.
"That's rough, Lyds." Allison told her.
Lydia shrugged. "Well that's not all. For the past four years I've been working for my dad's company and after he found out my mom's infidelity, he kinda blew up! But then also revealed that he knew about it and was accepting of it because he himself was playing for a different team."
"Your father's gay?"
Lydia sighed, nodding his head. "Crushing my childhood memories."
"So your family have been hiding these secrets from you for years? Your fiancé had a sexual affair with your momma, your dad likes penises and now you're broke?" Malia questioned rhetorically. "Man, and I thought I had a screwed up life."
"How did that happen anyway?"
"When my dad heard I wanted to take off, he begged me not to leave and gave me an ultimatum. If I don't stay, he'll revoke all my privileges. He took my penthouse, my car, my credit cards, everything." Lydia said.
"Are you crazy? All that money! I would forget my messed up family and take the money!" Malia said.
"It's probably not that simple, Malia." Allison scowled.
"Well, your family may be dysfunctional –" Malia said, but Kira quickly scolded her.
"But you gained a new family out of it." Allison said.
"So corny but thanks." Lydia giggled. "Can I just get dressed in something comfortable? This outfit smells like dog pee and old sewage water."
"Yeah sure! You don't have to even ask. That's your room!" Allison said as she gestured to the first room on the left.
Lydia smiled, nodding her head as she grabbed her bag and sauntered over to the room.
When Lydia shut the door, a cushion suddenly was thrown towards Allison who moaned in retaliation.
"That's my room, Allison!" Malia half-shouted and whispered as she threw another cushion.
"Well you can learn to share." Allison said.
"I don't share. I take!" Malia growled.
"I can't believe she's here." Stiles mused. "She hasn't changed. She's still as gorgeous as she was in high school, maybe even more. Her strawberry blonde hair seemed to get even more strawberrier and blonder."
"You catching feelings again, huh buddy?" Scott teased.
"No!" Stiles snorted nervously. "Why would you think that?"
"Because your hands get all sweaty and your voice gets high and your eyes twitch when you're around her!"
"What?" He questioned high-pitched-ly, twitching his left eye. "T-that is ridiculous!" He chuckled as his eyes lingered onto the room Lydia was getting ready in.
"Oh is it?" Scott laughed. "I used to think the only person you get nervous around was Derek but now that Lydia's back. I'm not so sure!"
"Yeah, right, Scott!" Stiles muttered sarcastically. "Like I'd have feelings for Lydia! What a load of hogwash! You have said a lot of crap in your day, buddy but this tops the cake!"
"You're deflecting!" Allison stated.
"I know what I am, what about you!" Stiles accused.
Allison rolled her eyes.
"There's no unresolved feelings for the absolutely…" He stopped himself midsentence when Lydia opened the door and appeared in a silky, silvery-pink nightdress and silky gown with some fluffy slippers.
"Hey…" He muttered, drooling as he waved at her.
She laughed awkwardly, shaking her head as she pulled her suitcase and placed her suitcase on the wooden coffee table as she was about separate her fancy clothes.
"Is that what you get comfortable in?" Malia asked.
Lydia nodded. "Mmhm."
Malia cocked an eyebrow.
"Is it too much?" Lydia questioned. "I'll just go change –"
"No!" Stiles shouted out, shooting from his seat. All eyes landed on him and he awkwardly looked between everyone. "There was a fly," He laughed nervously, waving his hand in the air before slowly falling onto the couch.
"Who wants some fondue?" Malia blurted out of the blue as she ran to the kitchen to grab some fondue in the refrigerator.
"We're good!" They all replied.
"It's crazy that all of this happened in one day."
"Believe me, honey! This is not the craziest thing we've heard." Allison said.
"What's crazy? What's crazy is Kira, here, camped for a whole week, waiting in line to watch the Hunger Games." Stiles pointed out.
"I love those books!" Kira expressed with a grin. "Sucks that the movies ended two years ago."
"So basically what you're saying is you relate so much to the books because you yourself are hungry?" Malia posed bluntly, blinking her eyes as if she didn't just say something offensive.
Kira however, her emotional self couldn't take it as she suddenly began feeling sheepish.
"Uh…well Hunger Games is a pretty amazing movie with an amazing cast." Kira commented, changing the subject.
"Oh tell me about it! Liam Hemsworth is amazing. Actually, all the Hemsworth's are amazing I mean god! Have you seen their abs? Absolutely perfect," Lydia stated.
"Meh! I prefer the Affleck bros. Dudes may be old and awkward looking but did you see Ben Affleck in Gone Girl?" Malia pointed out before mouthing 'Big dick' and putting emphasis on it by putting distance between her hands.
Everyone ignored her as they all jumped onto another topic. Lydia dug into her bag and pulled out a bunch of outfits.
"So what are doing?" Allison asked.
"I'm just sorting all the clothes I want to keep and others I don't."
"Ugh! Oh no," She cried out as she stared at the designer clothes. "The outfits my dad and Jackson bought for me. Just another reminder of how terrible my life is."
"Honey your life is not terrible, those are Givenchy darling. Let me see that!" Allison exclaimed as she snatched a salmon blazer from her grasp. "Wow!"
"I need to give some of these away –"
Malia shot her hand up. "I volunteer as tribute!"
"But I'm not quite sure since all of them are great." Lydia mentioned, in quite the dilemma.
"Yep! This is quite a pickle. Why don't you just leave these clothes with me and when you're ready to give them away they'll be waiting for you? I don't guarantee this leather jacket though." Malia uttered as she snatched the item from the pile. "Or these Louis Vuitton heels. Man I will make a fortune selling these on E-bay and the Black Market." She stated.
"Oh, no Malia! Those are mine!" Kira shrieked out as she snatched them from the girl.
Malia gasped as she began fighting for the shoes back from the girl.
"Why don't you give away or sell the ones you feel would hurt the most to keep in the long run?" Allison suggested.
"I know karate missy! Hai yah!" Malia exclaimed.
"I don't know…they're all so pretty!" Lydia pouted, staring at both outfits in her grasp as she completely ignored the girls fighting for her clothes.
This was so much easier when she could have whatever she wanted in a heartbeat and threw them away when a new batch came.
"I say ditch the red dress and go with the maxi dress. That way your outfit can blend with whatever makeup you have one." Scott muttered as he stopped his vigorous search. He was so passionate you'd even think he was a fashion expert.
All eyes darted towards him, the boys giving disapproving shakes of the head.
You have disgraced the man nation, Scott.
Derek would probably find it attractive though.
Scott reiterated his sentence again in his head, as he finally just comprehended what he just said.
"Maybe I lost my sexuality somewhere in here too." Scott said, peeping into the cabinet.
The girls all kept quiet as they eyed Scott whilst the boys eyed him questionably.
Allison shook her head as she moved her focus from the boy she couldn't believe she had a crush on back in high school to her buddies.
"Anyway…so –" She was automatically stopped by a disturbance from the kitchen.
Isaac made a clanging noise as he rummaged through the refrigerator and now all the focus was on him. He awkwardly shut the door with two pieces of balony in his mouth and carrying some mayo, bread and three egg cartons with bacon, sausages and chicken.
"I'm just going to be in the other apartment. Don't mind me." Isaac mentioned with a mouthful as he slowly backed out the door before running towards the boys' apartment and ultimately –expectedly – slamming and colliding his whole body into the door, knocking him to the ground.
"My bacon!" He groaned.
"Oh god! Fat naked guy doing Pilates!" Malia echoed from the window.
"What?" Allison called as she and the rest of the gang charged toward her. "Oh, no!"
The buddies all quickly ran to Allison's side to witness the greatness –and horror – that is Big Man Bob doing his fitness regimen in his open windowed apartment whilst eating pizza…naked!
The buddies all groaned at the horrific sight.
"Looks like he's picking a fight with his pizza and their both losing." Scott commented.
"Ah no! Don't show…Not the asshole! No!" Stiles groaned, covering his eyes and Lydia's.
"Is this a daily routine of yours?" Lydia asked, technically blinded.
Allison sighed, nodding her head as she walked away from the huge glass window of her apartment after Big Man Bob fell off his Pilate table.
"Believe it or not." Allison laughed. "We don't have lives, guys." She said to her friends as they followed her tail.
Isaac awkwardly ran into the room, his mouth full of his sandwich.
"What did I miss?" He questioned, panting heavily as he swallowed a lump of his sandwich.
"Too late, show's over!" Stiles told him.
"Ahh man!" He moaned as some of his mayo sandwich dripped off his lips onto his scarf. "Ugh no! My scarf! Can this ever end?" He retorted to the ceiling.
When Isaac's sob fest died down, he released a sigh before shrugging his shoulders.
"Oh well!" He whispered before skipping/sprinting into the other apartment.
"Where's Derek? I thought he'd be here." Allison asked the boys.
"Derek's out with his new boy toy, Danny!" Stiles said in a mocking tone.
"Oh!" Lydia exclaimed. "D-Derek, that big, hottie with green eyes, he's gay?"
"I know! Bummer right?" Malia sighed, collapsing onto the couch. "I guess the world is cruel that way. We can't always get what we want." She sulked.
"Give it a rest, Malia! You knew it wouldn't have worked between you two!" Stiles stated.
"And it would with you?" Malia questioned.
Stiles thought for a moment. "Well…yeah! Derek and I have a lot in common."
The girls laughed. "Name one thing!"
"Well…we're both… we love…baseball?!" Stiles suggested uncertain of himself.
"Contrary, he loves baseball…you love peanut butter/hamster races." Scott cleared.
Stiles glared. "Dude?" He uttered out in pure shock and disappointment, only to cause the giggles to erupt.
Lydia received a text on her phone and she went to grab it from the coffee table and began reading.
Allison sighed as the laughter simmered down. She turned her attention to Lydia who was frowning.
"Is everything okay?"
Lydia sighed.
"Why ole' scrunchy-grumples?" Malia asked.
"Ugh! It's just my dad sending me these stupid texts. He wants to get me a Ferrari and buy me an estate in New Hampshire. Can you believe him?"
"What an ass!" Malia said enthusiastically sarcastically.
"Boy, does he rile me up!" Stiles said with no emotion.
"Hate that guy!" Kira said.
"Can your dad adopt me?" Scott questioned pleadingly.
"Yeah, well what's bad about this whole thing is he's trying to win me back! It's all of that if I move back home and work for him again."
"Oh."
"Ugh! It's terrible! A-and-and he gave me a lecture this morning and called me 'Young lady'." She said, quoting the words.
"Ooh, I hate it when my father calls me that!" Stiles said.
"Did he also say 'Your life won't have meaning anymore? You're not ready for life! Don't be naïve'?" Allison asked.
"Oh and I actually got the Extended Version of it with two deleted scenes of 'You'll never make it in life on your own'!" Lydia said.
"Mmm…Yeah." Malia nodded her head.
Lydia narrowed her eyes. "He's trying to bribe me but I'll not fall for that! Even if he buys me a whole jewelry store, I won't budge."
"Oh but if you ever decide to keep the jewelry store. Leave a girl a little somethin' somethin'!" Malia said.
"Ugh! My dad is so ridiculous." Lydia said in exasperation.
"So what are you planning on doing tomorrow?" Allison asked.
Lydia shrugged. "Not sure. Probably sit around, do some yoga, wait for you guys!"
Lydia noticed all the concerned and peculiar looks between the group. What? Did she gain a pound? Was there something on a face? You know, one of the disadvantages of being broke was now she won't have proper skin care! This is end of the world!
"Are you planning on doing that forever?" Kira probed.
Lydia thought for a moment, realizing her suggestion didn't seem that pleasing to the group.
She scoffed. "Pfft! No! I-I'm going to cook for you guys, of course!" Bear in mind, she didn't know how to cook to save her life…and others!
"Don't you think you should probably get a job?" Malia stated.
"What are you talking about woman?" Lydia questioned.
"I mean a job? You've never heard that before? A J-O-B! Where you can get M-O-N-E-Y! So you can pay R-E-N-T! Capuche? Comprender?" Malia stressed.
"I think she knows what a job is, Malia!" Allison scowled. Malia shrugged. "Have you never had to look for a job before?"
"Well…no! I sort of had it ready for me. I've never even had an interview." She said.
"I hate your life!" Malia sighed.
"Well, honey, you do realize this is New York, right? The job market gets more and more scarce." Allison said.
"Well, so what are you saying?" Lydia asked.
"Start off small, like get some small job at the mall or something and work your way up."
"I heard the Beacon Blasta Grill has a new opening for waitressing?" Scott pointed out.
"Waitress!" Lydia exclaimed, shooting from her chair. "No! No! I will never do that?"
"Oh, Lydia! You can do it! It's just for a little while till you get a proper, stable job." Allison said. "It'll be fun…I guess?"
"And how do you expect to get money? From a blimp?" Malia laughed.
"Well…I thought you guys had it covered."
"Girl, we don't earn much in this part of New York!" Kira said with a sympathetic shrug.
"I can give you my money." Stiles suggested.
Not that being an archeologist pays much but Lydia was worth it. She's freaking hot as hell!
Lydia turned to him with a bright smile. "Really?"
Stiles almost drooled at the beautiful sight of Lydia Martin grinning and batting her eyelashes at him. It was something from a stupid rom-com movie! The air was blowing through her strawberry blonde locks and the bright aura around her, all in slow-motion.
He chuckled nervously.
"Totally…" He stretched the word, his eyes fully hypnotized by her striking green eyes.
Comets! Meteorites! Oh his heart! His gut!
Charlie Horse!
Going down!
He's gonna die! Oh he's going to die! By the power of the most beautiful girl in the galaxy!
A hard slap against the back of his head brought him back to reality.
"Ow!" Stiles moaned, rubbing his head as he glared at Scott.
"Lydia! This will be a good learning experience for you." Allison said positively.
Lydia sighed. "I guess I don't have a choice."
What a way to be broke in New York!
Welcome to the real world, Lydia Martin.
It ain't gonna be pretty.
~… …~
The boys called it a night soon after and went back to their apartment where they caught Isaac doing his three favorite things…eating, playing with his scarf whilst watching anime.
The girls decided to have a mini slumber party, watching some romantic movies in their collection. Kira, however, had to skip this one out as her parents called her told have dinner with them at their SoHo residence.
Kira came from a typical Asian-American household where both parents are successful in their ideal careers. Kira's mom was a neurosurgeon at a huge hospital and her dad was a Professor at Colombia so you could only imagine their sheer disappointment when they heard their only daughter decided to venture in photography as a life career. Literally Kira's mom almost had heart-attack after ranting on in Japanese about how she's going to awaken the Kosa King to knock some sense in her daughter! But as time went by, they began accepting the fact that their daughter was passionate about this thing.
Oh brother! Parents, we can never win with them can we?
After a series of tedious, soppy, boring romcoms, the girls decided to watch the worst of the worst –in Malia's opinion – Twilight.
"I can give you more than him! I mean he probably can't even kiss you without hurting you."
"Please give me more! Give it to me hard!" Allison bemoaned, her lips drooling with spit…or maybe it's the cookie dough ice-cream.
"I can't believe anybody watched this! I mean this is basically crap on paper and we turned it into a multi-millionaire industry." Malia commented.
"Shush!" Allison scolded before fixing her dewy eyes on the screen, clutching the blanket she shared with the girls.
Malia sighed as she threw her had back onto the puffy couch head.
"Vampires that sparkle and an indecisive girl who enjoys biting her lip falls in love with a century old bloodsucker who wants to drink her blood and wants to be a sparkling vampire with egg yolk eyes? I mean a story about a teenage who roams around the woods with his best friend and gets bitten by a werewolf and now goes through life fighting supernatural creatures is way more believable than this crap!" Malia added.
Lydia and Allison ignored the girl as they kept their eyes on the screen, in full attention.
"What the hell is wrong with this bitch Bella?" Lydia retorted with a mouthful of ice-cream. "Jacob is perfect for you! What the heck did Jacob do wrong? He's perfect! Ugh!"
"Youfeel that?" Jacob asked Bella.
Allison reached her hand out to the screen. "I wanna feel that chest so badly!"
"Flesh and blood and warmth." Jacob expressed.
"Look at him, you kiss-ass!" Malia exclaimed.
The actress looked up into the actors eyes in contemplation before the bigger man/shapeshifting wolf smashed his face on hers in a powerful kiss. Lydia and Allison gasped.
Malia looked at the girls with peculiar, questioning eyes. "Clearly your teenage selves never went away! Y'all are actually soaking up this shit?"
"Shh!" Lydia and Allison shushed her as they leaned in when the actress pushed the boy back.
"Don't punch him! Don't you dare punch him!" Allison warned.
Kristen Stewart's Bella punched him in the face only to break her hand instantly.
"I told you not to punch him but you never listened." Allison sighed.
"Taylor Lautner though…" Lydia closed her eyes, envisioning herself in the character's arms.
"He's amazing!" Allison stated, dreamy-eyed.
"But he's gotten all fat and ugly now!" Malia said.
"I don't know. He's just okay now I think. I think these movies killed their careers for life. Don't you think? I mean when have we heard their movies made it big after this franchise?" Lydia said.
"Precisely the reason why this movie is all crap!" Malia said.
"Of course we know that but…it was our lives almost ten years ago. Oh my god! It's been almost ten years?" Allison gasped.
"We are living in the future, Ally." Lydia sighed.
"We're all 28 years old and single." Allison confirmed. "My grandmother was by 17."
The girls all fell silent as they all thought about how horrible their lives were.
"This is depressing…" Malia said.
"Ooh! Ooh! Shh! Shh! The good part's here!" Lydia shushed everyone.
Malia gagged.
For the next thirty minutes, the girls were watching the movie religiously and reacting like it's the first time they've seen the movie. The same couldn't be said for Malia because she wanted to do was pass out. She managed to squeeze some napping in but when she woke up the movie was still running with the two idiots still shedding tears.
"Robert Pattinson may be a weirdo…but he sure does make a good Edward." Allison mentioned, her eyes leaking of tears as they watched the engagement scene in the vampire's bedroom.
"I still think they could've done better with Bella. Maybe a Shailene Woodley or Lily Collins or freaking Emily Browning –btws, I met her before." Lydia smiled. Allison widened her eyes.
"Are you serious?"
"Sucker Punch premiere. She was sweet!"
Malia rolled her eyes. "Lord help me,"
"You guys are idiots." Malia shook her head as she hopped out of the blanket and off the couch and made her way to the kitchen to grab something…anything to take her focus from this abomination.
The girls got to the part where Taylor Lautner's character was shirtless on top of the icy mountain cliff with the vampire girl.
"Oh god! I think I just had an orgasm." Allison whispered, her mouth open wide as she and Lydia held onto each other.
"Forget that, I think my eggs are fertilized!" Lydia stated, clutching her shirt.
Malia rolled her eyes as she dropped the carton of milk and charged over to the TV, snatched the remote and switched it off completely.
"Aww! Malia!" Allison cried. "They were just about to kiss!" She yelled.
"Not cool, Malia!" Lydia said.
"No! You two have a problem, okay? You're still hung up on this movie? Like honestly, vampires who sparkle? Werewolves who find soulmate's in babies? And…vampires who sparkle?" She repeated.
"It's timeless!"
"No! The A-Team or Die Hard or Fast and the Furious or freaking, Cinderella! Those are timeless classics, not this!" Malia said.
"So what do you suppose we do?" Allison asked.
Malia's lips curved into a slight smile.
~… …~
The girls laughed aloud after Malia's story as the girls all sat out in the terrace.
"You're right, Malia! This was so much better than watching ancient year old vampires who sparkle." Allison laughed.
"Okay! Now it's your turn." Malia said tipsily as she handed the bottle of Jack to Lydia.
Lydia took a sip of the liquid as a source of encouragement before taking a deep breath.
"Okay, so um…I've only had two serious relationships in my life and both were pretty horrible come to think of it. I dated this guy, Mark in middle school. He was awesome but then when we got to freshmen year of college and then I met Jackson…things kind of went south. I cheated on Mark with Jackson and that literally broke him forever so yeah. I broke a good guy's heart only to be with a self-absorbed bastard but I didn't know. So, cheers to leaving that behind me!" Lydia exclaimed before taking another swig of the drink.
"Yas!" Malia and Allison cheered.
"And your first time?"
Lydia thought. "It was so horrible! The school winter formal, remember?" Lydia said, glancing back at Allison who nodded. "He kept talking about how hot he was and kept asking me all these questions and…it didn't last longer than three minutes."
Malia gasped. "You poor thing!"
"And you were with him for how long?" Allison asked.
"Well…it was on and off for years but I guess I'd say twelve years? Since freshmen year of high school."
Malia fell off her seat and onto the terrace ground.
"I think I just died for a second." Malia said, lifting herself up.
"And you still didn't realize he was a jackass?" Allison asked.
Lydia shrugged. "I guess I did but I just didn't want to admit it because I was in love…well with the idea of love."
"Okay! This is officially becoming moppy and soppy very quickly so let's jump over to you Allison." Malia said.
Lydia handed the bottle to Allison.
Allison thought for a moment after taking a sip of Jack. "I don't know. I mean, I haven't really done much serious dating per se. But I'd say maybe…four relationships in my life? One of them at least a year." She said.
"Hmm…okay and your first time?" Lydia questioned.
Allison inhaled a heavy breath. "Well, um…well uh…well….I don't know I mean I've done literally almost everything. But dating wasn't a big thing for me! And back in high school, I had really early curfews and my dad would kill any guy who approached me but yeah…I've done some things –except one thing."
"Like what?" Malia grinned.
"You know, like literally everything you can do but that one thing." Allison said, trying hard not to paint the picture widely.
"Oh like fantasize about eating Conan O'Brien's hair?!" Lydia suggested.
Shocked, disturbed eyes landed on her and Lydia dropped her head in shame. Didn't anybody dream about Conan O'Brien before? He looks like a carrot! You could just eat him…with your rabbit.
Allison shook her head vigorously. "No! Nothing that extreme I mean, my life kind of sucked, I mean you can vouch for that! I didn't have much of a social life as a kid and recently I haven't exactly met the right guy you know…" She expressed, hoping she didn't need to spell it all out on a banner for the girls.
"Oh, girl! I totally get it." Lydia said, keeping quiet as she didn't want to bring up such a sensitive topic.
Malia however was confused as she frowned at the two. "You were clearly a dork and had no friends?" She pointed out.
Allison was about to speak but Lydia beat her to it.
"So tell me about the guys…" Lydia said.
"You mean, Stiles, Scott, Isaac and Derek?" Malia asked. Lydia nodded. "Well they're annoying and are a bunch of weirdoes."
"Derek is such a cold one, you can never get a smile out of him!" Allison laughed. "Isaac is not the brightest sunshine in the sky. If he just stands there and looks pretty I think that'd be great."
"Stiles has had more sarcastic remarks than how much I've spent on tampons in my entire life! I wanna kill him." Malia said.
"Scott's still pretty cool. A little crazy now and totally awkward. Especially when he's around Kira." Allison laughed.
"Oh I noticed." Lydia laughed. "So, I'm guessing you're over him?"
Malia frowned. "Over who? You dated Scott? When?!"
Allison sighed. "We never dated. I had a small crush on him back in high school."
"Oh, snap! That's a bombshell! You know he has a crooked jaw right?" Malia said.
"Honestly, I actually thought it was cute back then." Allison laughed. "But he's like my brother now."
"So I'm guessing you're okay with Kira and him going out?" Lydia asked.
"Of course! Kira's a darling and we've been friends for eight years." Allison said.
Lydia smiled. Allison had always been a really good friend to her over the years and it was nice to see that hadn't changed. She's still the same person if you overlook the massive makeover and non-existent neckbrace and bad acne.
"Stiles is still a dork." Lydia laughed as she sat on the fire escape. "Oh!" She gasped when she realized something, shooting herself off the pillow she was using to support her back. The pillow suddenly fell off the balcony and onto the ground.
Lydia blinked before turning to her friends.
"Anyway…um…Oh! So what's thing with Stiles and his ex-wife being pregnant and lesbian?" Lydia laughed.
"Okay! This is hilarious –" Malia began.
"I'll tell the story, Malia."
"But I wanted to tell the story." Malia pouted.
"Well he's my brother." Allison said. "And you might probably alter it in such a way you make him seem like an idiot."
"But he is!" Malia said. Allison scolded. "You just wanna suck the fun out of everything."
"So, Stiles met this girl Caitlin at a party a couple of years ago and so ever since then, they got into a relationship and at the beginning, she admitted that she had a bicurious stint in high school and that she was pansexual which Stiles hate didn't at all. After they got married four years ago, that's when things started changing. Let's just say, a girl named Emily had to do with it." Allison said.
"So she realized she was lesbian?" Lydia asked.
"And it crushed Stiles but after the divorce a month ago, she found out she was pregnant."
"Ouch!" Lydia laughed.
"Ugh! That was boring! If I told the story I would've put a little spice in like Stiles also came to the realization that he was gay too!" Malia said.
"But he married so young, we can at least give him that." Allison defended her stepbrother.
Lydia chuckled. "Okay! But it is pretty funny."
"Let's drink for him on our behalf! He deserves it." Allison said as she took a swig of the bottle before passing it around the girls.
"Okay! Making a change of pace." Lydia suggested as placed the bottle of alcohol on the ground. "Let's talk about hidden talents. What's yours?" She glanced at Malia.
"I can belch the alphabet!" Malia said. "Oh and I'm pretty awesome at singing."
Lydia nodded. "Is she really?" She asked Allison.
Allison took a moment to regroup some positive ways to sugarcoat it but couldn't find anything.
"Well…yeah…Yeah! Malia's good. She's great." Allison grinned, not looking at Malia. Allison shook her head slightly when Malia wasn't looking.
Lydia widened her eyes. Well I guess she knows what to do when it was Malia's turn to shower.
"It's not much of a talent but more of a hobby. I can do archery!" Ally said.
Lydia smiled. "Hmm… I'm not quite sure what my talent is. I'd say flame throwing?"
The girls laughed.
Malia gasped. "Oh my god! There he is! There he is! Hot guy Jonathan at nine o'clock!" Malia said as her eyes landed on the other apartment building.
Allison squealed. "Seriously? Where?"
"Right where we've been looking all night!" Malia said as she shot up so quickly off the terrace seat and ran to the edge of the balcony with Lydia and Allison following closely behind.
"Omigosh! He's in just a towel." Allison mused. "Look at his abs!"
"There are eight of 'em!" Lydia said, biting her lip. "Is this what you all do?"
"Mmhm! Ever since he moved in a year ago, we've had a front row center to his gorgeous bod!" Allison said. "Man, I should have brought some popcorn and syrup."
"He's a firefighter. So he comes in all dirty and sweaty and mmm…when he takes off his clothes we just mesmerize at his Greek skin. Dear god, I can feel my fallopian tubes are stretching." Malia commented.
The hot firefighter with soggy, light auburn hair dropped something and bent down.
"He's so cute!" Lydia mentioned.
"Amazing body! Oh Jonathan." Allison wept.
"Please! Oh dear gosh! Baby, please let the towel drop! Towel drop right now! I'm waiting!" Malia exclaimed anxiously with the girls agreeing.
"Drop the towel!" Lydia pleaded.
When the man finally stood out, the towel immediately dropped to the ground, revealing his lower half and putting it on full display.
The girls all fell silent as they eyes were glued onto the man.
"Oh?" The all whispered in absolute shock before tilting their heads to the side in unison to get a horizontal look. "Oh…" They stretched out in a trance.
The man sighed as he began walking around the house butt-naked. The hot man halted and darted his head to the window.
"Oh!" The girls exclaimed as they all dropped to the ground, completely putting themselves out of sight.
… …
A/N: There you go! Hope you enjoyed it. Lydia's slowly transitioning into the group and my stomach is boiling from excitement –or maybe I'm just hungry.
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