Guess who just got back today

Them wild-eyed boys that had been away

Haven't changed that much to say

But man, I still think them cats are crazy

Lilly smirked at the song playing from the scratchy CD in the truck's radio. The 'Best Of Classic Rock' jumped and skipped more and more these days, but she could still appreciate the irony of these particular lyrics, as the convoy got closer to the Alexandria Safezone.

Her fellow passenger seemed to have similar feelings. Negan was lucky that Lilly hadn't murdered him yet for his horrible off-key singing.

"THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN! And the girls, too…" Negan added any time the chorus came along.

Lilly grinned and Negan took her free hand in his, laying them both on his thigh. She was surprised at herself that she was able to drive the truck to their destination without landing in a ditch. Her anxiety that had been in full force since this morning. Her quiet brooding and snappy answers had been met with an understanding from her fellow lieutenants. She had made a mental note to apologize later.

Negan had at first tried to distract her with his tongue and hands and cock and while that did seem to take off some of the edge off her fears and worries, she was soon back to being silent and bitchy.

Negan had told her that he would ignore her angry outbursts and had proceeded to interact with her as he always did and that turned out to be just what she needed.

He was nervous, too. After all, he was bringing fifteen men into Alexandria, risking their lives. "And my girl," he had added while stroking her back and kissing the top of her head, while Lilly had her ear pressed against his naked chest, noticing just how rapidly his heart had been beating.

Right now, though, they were both sitting in the Bust-A-Move truck, with Lilly driving and Negan singing and both trying to keep their worries at bay by holding on to the other's hand.

"I want you to stay in the truck when we're there," Negan finally said when Thin Lizzy stopped and The Ramones' 'People are Strange' started. "Until I come get you. I want to get a feeling for them, first. See if they're fucking cooperative."

"And you want to present me at the best possible moment, for maximum effect," Lilly added. She knew that his fondness for theatrics had reached new heights since they had first made contact with Rick and his group. She understood, though. Anything to make them think the Saviors and especially Negan were larger than life in this world where death ruled over almost every aspect.

"You're damn fucking right," Negan answered grimly, "Oh, and another thing. I don't want them to know we're fucking."

"Fucking, huh?" Lilly's couldn't help the edge in her voice. He reached for her hand, which was fiddling with a loose thread on her jeans and squeezed her fingers.

"Come on, you know what I mean. What else am I supposed to call it?"

"I don't know… maybe the way it is?"

"What? Fucking girlfriend and boyfriend? Do you want me to slip you a note, too? 'Do you want to be my girlfriend? Yes. No. Maybe.'"

"Yeah and then we can meet in secret behind the school library and I'll let you touch my boobs," she chuckled, despite her other hand still clutching the steering wheel with white-knuckled fingers.

"I'm okay with that. I really like your boobs." They shared another laugh before settling into a tense silence again. After a while, Negan began fidgeting and he seemed deep in thoughts. They were almost at their destination now. "Hey, do they have a church at Alexandria?"

Lilly frowned at the thought of Father Gabriel.

"Yeah. They mostly use it for town meetings, but some people attend actual services. They even have a preacher. Most pathetic coward I have ever met. No idea how he's still alive. Why?"

"Just curious."

They had left the highway and were now navigating the convoy through a suburban neighborhood. A Savior would pop out of an alleyway or wave down from a roof from time to time. Negan and Lilly had positioned several lookouts between the Sanctuary and Alexandria, not to mention the small army of men stationed all around the safe zone, all armed to the teeth.

"We're here," Lilly finally said after turning into a long street, lined with dilapidated houses. They could see the big metal gate at the end now, where several walkers tried to squeeze their mushy heads between the metal bars.

Seth's truck in front of them slowed down until it stopped right in front of the entrance to Lilly's former community.

"Seriously? They just let those biters play at their fucking doorstep?" Negan reached behind Lilly's seat to get Lucille.

"They don't do regular cleanings of the area. Sometimes they stab them through the bars."

"Well, fuck me… looks like they need a fucking Savior." Negan winked at her before his face fell. Lilly knew she looked like hell. She was absolutely terrified. "Are you okay?" he asked for what was probably the thirtieth time today.

"I think I'm gonna puke."

Negan put Lucille between his legs, took her face into his hands and smiled at her.

"Lilly, I know you can do this. You're a fucking badass and those fuckers should be afraid of you. Not you of them. Now I'm gonna go get us in and you wait until I come get you and do me a fucking favor and take a couple of deep breaths. Okay?"

Lilly did exactly that, sighed and nodded slightly, trying to give him a smile. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers, softly, as if asking for permission. But Lilly didn't want soft right now. She wanted hard and true, making sure he was there with her. Her tongue and teeth made him gasp in surprise and when she broke the kiss, he grinned at her.

"Thanks! A semi is just what I need to deal with these assholes. Best fucking energy source in the world."

Lilly chuckled and nodded towards the door. "Off you go then, Mr. Superpenis."

He laughed, took Lucille and jumped out of the truck.

Lilly wound down the window on her left to at least hear what was going on at the gate while biting her bottom lip bloody and ripping an ever bigger hole into her jeans.

"Little pig, little pig! Let me in!"

Lilly snorted. Leave it to Negan to make fun of an extremely tense situation. It was his way of dealing with the stress, at least when others were around. When she and him were alone, which usually meant they were naked, he was different. Still funny, but without the mask he wore in the company of others. She knew that he relished these moments when he could give up leadership for a couple of hours and let Lilly take control, both emotionally and sexually. Who would have thought that the giant leader of the Saviors was so submissive in bed, Lilly thought, grinning to herself.

She snapped back to reality when the smaller truck in front of her sprung to life and she followed Seth through the gates and parked next to him.

Her heart beating rapidly in her chest, she slid down in her seat a bit and took her first look of Alexandria Safe Zone in almost two years.

They had expanded the community on two sides, one on the right, the other in the back. The changes on the pre-existing houses were subtle, but Lilly noticed them as if they had been painted in bright red.

A repaired roof here, different curtains there, new furniture on Barbara's porch. Still no greenhouses, Lilly thought indignantly.

"Motherfucking, cocksucking magnificent! Wow!"

Lilly's gaze broke away from the streets and houses she knew so well and found Negan strutting in front of her truck, looking over and commenting on the, admittedly impressive, community. Then, a very familiar back came into view, wearing a very familiar jacket, holding Lucille.

A power play, she thought and strained her ears to catch the conversation between her lover and her former leader.

"How many you got here?"

"Forty-nine-- forty-eight."

A pang of guilt shot through Lilly at the thought of Glenn. It was quickly replaced by anger when her eyes wandered in the direction of her and Jax's former house.

"No shit? And you gotta have like twenty houses here. I bet you've even got a few of these fuckers empty, don't you? Of course you do. It's an embarrassment of riches, as they say." Negan turned around, now facing the truck and Rick, who was holding Lucille as if the bat would take a bite out of his remaining hand any moment. "Yes, Sir. I do believe you'll have plenty to offer up." He looked up to her and grinned before addressing Rick again. "It's the least you can do after what you did to my people."

"Your people?" Rick's head finally snapped up. "You mean those savages who tried to rob us?"

"Yeah, that was a stupid decision on their part." Negan shrugged. "I guess they didn't know that the punishment for it would be death, Officer Asshole Grimes."

"How do you know…"

"Remember when people used to go to like Cancun, or Vegas or some shit and there you are, all relaxed, scratching your balls, having a good fucking time, and suddenly BAM there's Joe from accounting, raising his piña fucking colada to you, going 'Isn't it a small world?' and your nice fucking holiday just got fucking ruined, because all you wanted was to get away from assholes like him for a couple of days and that's why you slaved away every day for hours, working your fucking ass off, so you could afford fucking Cancun, or Vegas?"

Negan started to walk backwards, towards the truck.

"Any-fucking-way… if the world has been small before, think about how tiny it is nowadays, with so few people left in it. Think about how we need each and every fucking one of them, especially those who ain't fucking idiots. Think about what might happen when you piss one of those few people still left off. They probably won't go to Cancun, or Vegas. They will stay in the area, where they know their fucking way around."

He opened the truck door and winked up at Lilly, who was still concealed from the people in the street. Negan offered his hand to her, so she could climb out, all the while continuing with his monologue.

"And one day, they might meet new people. People with a big ass community. People who are not little pussies, who feel threatened at the first sign of a differing opinion and throw them the fuck out."

He steered Lilly to the front of the truck. She felt a little like a show pony, but this wasn't the time to argue with Negan about how he presented her.

The gasps of surprise all around them were satisfying to hear. Many of the Alexandrians had slapped one hand over their mouths. Lilly saw Andrea taking a step towards her, before her Saviors pointed their weapons at her menacingly. Regret crept up her spine. Andrea had been her friend. Michonne, too, who cried out her name. But they had been there that day. They had killed Jax.

Lilly turned to face Alexandria's leader. She couldn't help it. Her hand was twitching on her gun holster, her jaw clenched, every muscle in her body painfully tense with hatred. She felt the hot imprint of a large hand softly touching the small of her back and some of the blind rage clouding her vision dissipated.

"Hello Rick."

"Lilly…"

The look of abject horror on Rick's face seemed to make Negan giddy with glee. He removed his hand from her back and swung it around her shoulders, squeezing tightly.

"I'm just a sucker for a good reunion. Isn't it a really fucking small world, Prick?"

Rick was at a loss for words. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, but no words came out.

"Surprised to see me?" Lilly had to say something, even as clichéd as that. The silence around her set her teeth on edge, especially when all she wanted to do was scream at these people. She noticed Rick's gaze dropping and realized that she was still fiddling with her gun holster absentmindedly. She relaxed her hands and Rick's head snapped back up.

"Yes, actually."

"Last time we saw each other, you threatened to kill me if I ever set foot inside these gates again. Remember? Are you gonna stay true to your word, Rick?"

What the hell was she doing, provoking him like that? What was wrong with her?

It did have one benefit, though. The horrified faces of the other Alexandrians told her that Rick had kept the details of her and Jax's departure conveniently to himself. Whispers and murmurs ran through the gathered crowd and Michonne's scowl deepened even further. Of course, Negan noticed immediately.

"Oh! They don't fucking know! Damn, Rick. That's a huge fucking thing to keep from your community. What did you tell them, huh? That Lilly and Jax just up and left one day, because they didn't agree with how you were running things around here?" Rick's eyes widened and another wave of murmurs flowed through the Alexandrians. Negan addressed Lilly now. "That's not quite how it went down, right Lil? Care to fill in the details?"

Lilly raised her voice. "Rick and Abraham put a gun to my head in the middle of the night and told me to leave and never come back."

The whispers turned into confused and in some instances outraged talking. Even though Lilly had butted heads with some people in her old community, she had still been generally well-liked. Or so she thought.

"So first thing you do is join this asshole who steals from other communities?" The boy had grown a lot in the past two years. But the hat and the feisty attitude remained the same. Lilly couldn't conceal the frown when her eyes found the bandage wrapped around his head before she schooled her face into a smile.

"Hi Carl. Good to see you again."

"You should all go home. Before you learn just how dangerous we are."

"Pardon me, young man, and fucking excuse the shit out of my goddamn French… but did you just threaten us?" Negan leaned down to look the little boy in the eyes. He was smiling, but his tone conveyed that he was not amused about the kid's attitude. "That sounded like a threat, but I like to be damn sure when it comes to these kind of things."

"Carl, go back to the house. Now."

"I'm in the middle of a fucking conversation here. Don't be rude." Negan turned back to Carl. Lilly's eyes stayed on Rick. She knew what could happen if someone threatened his son. "Now, boy… where were we? Oh, yeah… your giant fucking man-sized balls. I might not have heard you clearly. What were you saying again?"

Carl stared back at the man who was three times his size, his posture and clenched jaw all Rick and flared nostrils probably his mother's. The silence was luckily enough for Negan.

"That's better. Now listen to your daddy and run the fuck along." Carl surprisingly did as he was told and shuffled to one of the porches close-by, his hands deep in his pockets and proceeded to glower at Negan and Lilly from a rocking chair. "Cute kid." Negan grinned before turning to Rick and the others again. "Listen prick. I know we started off on the wrong foot. I didn't want to kill your friend… you forced our fucking hands."

"Did you know?" Andrea couldn't hold back anymore and stepped forward for the second time, looking straight at Lilly. The Saviors pointed their weapons at her again, but Lilly motioned for them to let Andrea talk. "He killed Glenn. Executed him with that sick bat of his. He was your friend, Lilly."

More guilt and rage.

"Yes. He was my friend. Emphasis on 'was'. What about Jax, Andrea? He was your friend, too, right? Everyone here loved him."

"What are you…"

"You killed him. Those men on motorcycles you encountered on the road. One of them was Jax." Hot tears threatened to run down her cheeks and it only made her anger worse. She'd rather die than show weakness in front of these people. Lilly wished she could just turn around and bury her face against Negan's neck, only for a moment to calm herself down. But he had been adamant not to let these people know that they were more than just a community leader and his lieutenant.

"No." Andrea looked stricken and both Rick and Michonne were equally horrified.

"You think we are the monsters for killing Glenn?" Lilly's voice rose and almost broke. "You drive around, slaughtering people because you think you're the good guys. But those people didn't hurt you. And they have friends. Families."

"They tried to rob us-"

"And you dish out the death penalty for that, Officer Grimes? Those were stupid boys who wanted to help their community to not starve half to death this winter like the last one. I'm not saying what they did was right, but they didn't deserve to be butchered in the middle of the street like that."

Rick looked at his feet for a moment and Lilly hoped that he was ashamed of himself for once in his life. Then his eyes found hers again with that annoying jaw of his clenched in defiance.

"What you did to the Hilltop-"

"The Hilltop?" Lilly was yelling now. "Are you kidding me, Rick? I know you've been there. I know you've met their leader. Those idiots would be dead by now if we didn't help them. You have no right to judge us for our arrangement with them. You had no right to kill those men. To kill Jax. You had no right!"

It took all her will-power not to either jump towards Rick and hurt every inch on his body, or to turn around and run to the truck to hide. Lilly finally felt Negan's hand on her shoulder, his thumb stroking gently over her tense muscles.

"Alright, that's enough. You assholes know now why we're here. You killed our brothers. Fate has it that Lilly here knew you and what your community has to offer. You fucked with the wrong guys. Tough titties. Now… I'm going to have a look around while my people load up the trucks. Babe, you gonna give me the grand fucking tour?"

Lilly sniffed and nodded, desperate to get away from these people who were looking at her with either pity or hatred.

Andrea and Michonne both looked like they wanted to talk to her more, but Rick shook his head no to them. Her leader put his arm around Lilly's shoulders again and steered her down the main road, talking in a low voice to her when they were out of earshot.

"You okay, babe? I thought you'd rip that prick's dick off for a second there."

"I shouldn't be here, Negan. This was a bad idea. Those people hate me and I hate them. I don't want you or anyone else to get hurt." The tears finally came now that she was alone with Negan.

He let go of her and stopped to turn to her in front of the church. Lilly wanted to at least grab his hands so bad.

"You belong by my fucking side today. We're showing these fuckers how strong we are and what happens when they fuck with us. You did well just now. Showing Rick's people just how much of an asshole he really is? I saw their faces and they weren't happy with those revelations. Rick is much more likely to keep his fucking head down and do as I say when his people bust his balls about it. And then I can punish the ball busting and show everyone how much of a benevolent fucking leader I am, helping Rick keep order and shit." He grinned at her and she couldn't help but smile at the level of foresight he was showing. "Now, how about we start at your old house? Maybe there's still stuff around you wanna take to the Sanctuary. You didn't have much time to pack your belongings when that asshole kicked you out, after all."

Lilly turned to the house at the end of the street where she and Jax had lived together for a year. Where they had been happy. Mostly. She started walking and Negan followed right behind her. She could tell from afar that the house had remained empty after their departure. The porch looked like it would disintegrate any moment and the windows were blind. Lilly felt another pang of annoyance. Why didn't they keep all the houses in good shape in case people needed them?

She carefully stepped over the porch and opened the unlocked front door. A quick glance told her that everything was still the way she and Jax had left it. She turned around to make sure that Negan didn't fall through the planks, but he had already closed the door behind them. His hands grabbed her head and his lips came crashing down on hers as if he was a man starving.

Lilly was so surprised for a moment that she didn't know if she should be happy or annoyed about him attacking her like that. His tongue on hers soon made her forget everything around her, though and she responded enthusiastically.

"You were so fucking awesome out there," Negan all but growled against her lips in between kisses, "When you made that prick shut up, calling him Officer Grimes, god…" He bit and licked her neck now. "...I almost came in my fucking pants."

Lilly snorted before she took a look around over Negan's massive shoulders. He had somehow managed to steer them both into the kitchen, where she was now pressed against the counter. His hands roamed over her chest, hips, grabbed her waist, then her ass and tried to lift her up. She grabbed his arms and tried to untangle herself from him.

"Hey, calm down, soldier! What the hell are you doing?"

"Trying to fuck you. What does it look like?" He grinned and was about to dive down again, but she side-stepped and put some distance between herself and Negan. His face fell and for a moment, Lilly felt bad.

"Negan, we're kind of in the middle of something here."

"What? Seth is coordinating everyone loading the trucks. He knows what to look out for. Wouldn't it be really fucking satisfying to know we fucked right under Rick's nose in one of his houses?"

"Okay, one: you seem weirdly obsessed with Rick." He opened his mouth, frowning, but she didn't let him speak. "And two: you're the one who wanted to keep our relationship a secret. That's going to be hard if we get caught fucking on my old kitchen counter."

"I can be quiet."

"Uuuuh… no, you can't."

Negan shrugged and was about to say something else, when they heard shouting from one of the buildings nearby. They looked at each other and then both bolted for the door and outside, where Lilly saw Heath and Rick running to the infirmary. They followed and were met with the resident doctor, Denise, holding Rob from the western outpost at gunpoint and demanding he put back the box of medicine.

Negan tried to defuse the situation by convincing her that he had only taken half of their drugs, even if the Saviors' half contained nothing but morphines.

Lilly frowned. She didn't know what Negan was trying to accomplish by taking all the serious pain meds from the Alexandrians. They could leave some of the stuff for them. But she wouldn't start an argument with Negan in front of these people.

Her frown deepened when Negan threatened Rick and the others and she turned to leave, not trusting herself entirely not to say something after all.

She was met by Seth and accompanied him to the trucks to see what the Saviors had taken.

"Whole bunch of mattresses, some furniture, meds. Negan told us to leave the food here." Seth explained, obviously not happy with his leader's decision.

"We have enough food." Lilly muttered absentmindedly while watching Negan strolling back towards them, Lucille in his hand and a shit eating grin on his face. She turned around to the men and women waiting by the trucks and yelled, "All right, that's it. Wrap it up and let's go home!"

Negan winked at her and proceeded to climb into the Bust-A-Move truck. Lilly turned around again to have another look at her old community. She didn't know when the next time would be that she would come here, if ever. Now that she was about to leave again, she felt like she should have done more, maybe talked to some people, like Andrea and Carl. But both were nowhere to be seen. Lilly sighed.

"Did you tell him to kill Glenn?"

Lilly turned to her former leader. He looked tired, older than she remembered him.

"I asked him not to hurt any kids, but it was his decision in the end."

"I should have killed you when I had the chance."

Lilly chuckled. "Yeah, that's always your go-to solution for everything, isn't it?"

"You don't seem to have any qualms about killing people when he is doing it."

"That was retaliation for Jax, Rick. A kill for a kill. Actually, since you murdered three of our people, you're lucky Negan convinced us to only take one of yours."

"Yeah, he sounds like a real-"

"Look, I'm not here to convince you of Negan's leadership qualities. You thought you could solve your problems with violence, once again, and you finally got burned, as I told you you would eventually." The hatred in Rick's eyes told her that she hit the mark. "What happened to Carl's eye?"

"He got shot. It was an accident."

Lilly felt bad. She had always liked the boy. They had gotten along well up until now.

Their little exchange of grievances was interrupted by Negan sticking his head out of the passenger side window.

"Lil? You fucking coming, or what? This field trip was nice and all, but I really wanna go home and fucking finish what I started earlier." He smirked at her and she couldn't help but grin.

"A word of advice Rick. You should give Negan what he wants. He can be very… persistent." And without deigning him another look, Lilly ran up to the truck, climbed in and followed the convoy, the anxious knot in her belly untangling with every mile she put between herself and Alexandria.