Hello! Well, I haven't been too inspired lately and also have been extremely busy with work and other things that involve my career. Anyway, if you're patient with me, I'll finish this story. I won't update everyday but it won't take me as long as it did this time to update it. I believe one should always finish what they start so…this is me, finishing what I started. Even now that Arizona is not coming back.

So, this chapter is going to have little Arizona on it but it's only because I want to close this whole part of the story so…here it goes.

Chapter 20

Later that night Eliza was feeling a lot more nervous than she thought she would. Why was she so nervous? This was just Shoshana. She wasn't intimidating at all. Except, she was. With her 5 feet 1 inch and 100 pounds, she was one of the most intimidating people she had ever met. Maybe it was the fiery red hair or the piercing blue eyes…or maybe it was the fact that she was a self-entitled little brat who's used to boss people around. Who knows? But the woman always made her nervous…formerly in a good way, now not so much.

She sighed and walked out of the hospital, where she had told Shoshana to meet her. As soon as she walked out the doors she saw her standing outside, standing with her back to the hospital. Her hair flowing in the air and looking like angry flames, like a wildfire. She really wanted to get the closure they both deserved but at the same time, Shoshana Stronski always had the ability to leave her emotionally exhausted and she wasn't in the mood for that.

"Hey" she said as she walked over to the younger woman, a small smile on her face. "How long have you been waiting here?"

"Hey." The young doctor said, a genuine smile on her face. "Just a few minutes, don't worry."

"Oh…ok." Eliza answered. "Are you ready to go?"

"I am. Do you have wine or something at your apartment? If not, please let's stop at Trader Joe's or something, I need a drink." Shoshana said as she began walking to the brunette's car.

"Don't worry, I have a couple of bottles of Argentinian Cabernet Sauvignon." Eliza said.

"You know me well…"

"Of course I do." The older doctor said, without even realizing what had come out of her mouth. "I mean…I—"

"I know what you mean." Shoshana said nodding her head.

"This is my car." Eliza said when they reached it. "Hop on."

The ride to Eliza's apartment was silent. Surprisingly it wasn't an awkward silence or anything. It felt comfortable, normal. Familiar. Maybe it was because they knew each other so well despite everything that happened between them. Maybe they could reach some common ground and eventually be friends or at least friendly. Right? No, who was she kidding. She could never be friends with Shoshana. She had a theory that if you could be friends, like real friends with your ex then you either never really loved them or you're still in love with them. And she's not in love with Shoshana anymore but she did use to love her with every fiber of her being. No, maybe the comfortableness of the silence was simply because they never stopped being comfortable with each other.

"Here we are." Eliza said as they reached a very tall, posh looking building.

"Nice building." Shoshana said looking around.

"Yeah, it's alright." The brunette said as she parked her car.

"I love what you have done with this place." the younger woman said. "The apartment simply screams you. You always did have great taste…"

"Thanks." Eliza said smiling awkwardly. Suddenly she wasn't feeling so comfortable anymore. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Oh, yes please. What do you have?"

"Uh…I've got water, diet coke and iced tea." The older doctor said, looking inside of her fridge.

"What about that Argentinian cab you told me about?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, Shoshana."

"Why? Scared you won't be able to keep your hands to yourself or something?" the redhead asked raising an eyebrow.

"You just proved my point."

"Come on, I was just kidding. I promise to behave but I do need some wine. Please. You know you want it too…I'm sure you still love a nice glass of wine after work." Shoshana said making a funny face that Eliza used to consider super cute. It was the face she made whenever she wanted to get away with something. It used to work all the time.

"Okay. But we're not drinking more than one bottle." Eliza said as she went to grab the wine and two glasses. Damn it, the funny face worked again. The brunette opened the wine and poured each of them a glass. She walked over to the redhead who was sitting on the sofa, waiting for her and handed her the glass. "Here you go."

"Thank you. You're a still a good host, I can see."

"Yeah…I guess." Eliza said, suddenly becoming nervous again. She looked at the other woman who was staring at her intensely. "Please don't do that."

"Do what?"

"That."

"What do you mean?"

"That! Looking at me like that. It was good when we were together but it's not anymore. It makes me uncomfortable." The brunette said.

"I just…I…I like looking at you." Shoshana said, smiling.

"Was this a mistake? Should I have just insisted on you to leave until you finally left and never have this or any other conversation?" Eliza said, standing up from the couch.

"No. Please, sit down. I'm sorry." Shoshana said. "Just…try to understand me. It's not easy for me to see that you've moved on. Imagine if it was the other way around."

"Imagine? Shoshana, I asked you to marry me and in response you went out and fucked your way through Boston."

"I can't believe you're still upset about that." The younger woman said.

"I'm not upset about anything. You just asked me to put myself in your shoes and I'm reminding you that I have already been in your shoes." Eliza said, drowning down her wine and serving herself another glass.

"You haven't. Not really. I never got over you. I'm still not over you."

"Oh come on, Shoshana. You have been over me for a while…you just can't deal with the fact that I was able to fall in love with someone who wasn't you."

"Don't say that, it isn't true. I really do love you. Always have, always will."

"I don't doubt that you loved me, Shoshana. I know you did. I'm sure. I felt it…and I loved you too, with all my heart. But we became just so…toxic. I think that maybe it was toxic from the get-go." Eliza said.

"Don't say that either. We had a beautiful relationship."

"No, we didn't, Shosh. We had an intense relationship…a passionate relationship but our relationship was destructive and suffocating at times. It was a 'can't live with or without you' kind of things and that, that is not beautiful."

"Why are you trying to diminish what we had? Eliza, we were together for almost 10 years!" the redhead said, finishing her wine and going for another glass.

"I'm not. Not at all. I've already said so, I loved you with every ounce of my being. And yes, maybe you're right. Our relationship was beautiful at times but most of the times it was a competition on who could hurt the other more."

"I remember it differently. I remember only the happy times, the great sex, the times we travelled together, all those times you told me you would never love anyone who wasn't me and how we would grow old together. What happened to all of that? Does it not count because at times it was hard?"

"I…" Eliza said, getting annoyed "I don't even know where to start with that." She said taking a deep breath. "First of all…I meant what I said. At that time, I totally meant it. You were my first love. I had had girlfriends before but before you I don't think I had REALLY been in love. I was so in love with you Shoshana that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, I even asked you to marry me. Now I'm glad you said no but at the time it broke me."

"I was very immature. I was 17 when you met me, for crying out loud. I'm different now. I swear"

"So am I." Eliza said "we've both changed. And you weren't 17 the entire time. Anyway. I meant what I said. And you're right. We had happy times, wonderful times…and they do count. But we can't deny that what we had was toxic and that you saying 'no' to my proposal was the best thing that could've ever happened to both of us."

"Why are you being so cruel?"

"I'm being honest."

"Then why are you being so casually cruel in the name of being honest?"

"I'm sorry. It's not my intention to be cruel."

"Well you are. And it's hurting me." Shoshana said and Eliza felt immediate guilt. Like she used to feel whenever they argued when they were together. She didn't like that feeling.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you. You will always be important to me." Eliza continued. "Look…I need us to be in peace. I can't keep feeling guilty with you and I can't keep holding grudges. I need to let that go and I need you to let it go too."

"What if I can't let go? Eliza, I don't want to get over you. I want to be with you."

"No, Shosh. You don't. And you'll see it with time and when you finally find a healthy adult relationship."

"Like the one you have with Alabama?"

"Arizona and…yes. When I was with you I thought that love was supposed to feel like a turmoil. Like an earthquake or a hurricane; that it didn't crumbled your insides and made you feel until you hurt it wasn't love. But, now I know that love isn't that. Love is not a storm…love is looking into someone's eyes and feel calm. Peace, tranquility. More like a ripple than a turmoil. And you know how powerful a ripple can be."

"So, you're saying that what you have with her is real love and ours wasn't?"

"No, ours was real as well. It's just different. Good different. Happy different. Healthy different. It's what I want and it's what you should want too."

"I do want that."

"Good."

"I want it with you, though."

"No. You don't. Trust me. This is too damaged. And you deserve someone who treats you like you deserve. I was horrible to you at times, really horrible. And you may be sort of an asshole and overly confident but you're a great person, Shosh. You deserve happiness. You deserve it more than anyone."

"Can I ask you something?" Shoshana said wiping a tear

"Sure."

"Did I ever make you happy?"

"You did. You made me very happy."

"Does she make you happy?"

"She does. She makes me so, so, so happy."

"Okay." The redhead said defeated. "Well, I guess this is it." She said standing up.

"Yeah. Thank you for teaching me what loving someone with all my heart meant. Thank you for the good times and for the bad times as well. I'm a better person today because of that. You're brilliant and beautiful and you're worth a lot more than you think. I have nothing but good wishes for you Shosh." Eliza said nodding her head.

"Thank you for teaching me what love was. Before you no one really ever made me feel loved. You've changed me forever. You've changed me for the better, of course. You're an incredible human being. I'm sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you."

"I'm sorry for hurting you too."

"So…I guess this is it. Closure."

"Yeah. It feels good, doesn't it?"

"I guess. I'm not sure of what I'm feeling to be honest." The redhead said. "But don't think that this means I hate you. I don't. I could never hate you. I'm not even angry, I guess I'm just sad."

Both looked at each other for what felt like hours before wrapping their arms around each other and hugging tightly, both letting a couple of tears out. Shoshana felt like she needed to leave soon or she would end up crying her eyes out in front of the woman she was still in love with. She hugged Eliza even more tight and grabbed her face with her hands and pressed her forehead against hers. The brunette allowed her to, she was overwhelmed by her feelings as well. The redhead kissed her on the cheek and in that very moment the door opened. It was Arizona. In the end they had agreed to meet there.

"I…I'm gonna…yeah." Arizona said pointing to the door and turning around. She was about to leave when she felt a hand on her wrist and turned around expecting to find emerald green eyes looking at her but instead, she found piercing blue ones, framed with fiery red hair.

"Don't. It's not what you think. At all. Nothing happened." Shoshana said. "I'm gonna go now. Take care of her, Arizona. You only find a woman like her once in a lifetime."

"I will."

"Bye Eliza." she said walking out the door.

Eliza wiped away a few tears and sighed, grabbing the wine and pouring herself another glass. "What a night! Wine?" she asked, as she poured the blonde a glass without even waiting for an answer.

"Uh…care to explain what just happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"Don't be a smartass."

The brunette sighed. She was emotionally exhausted. Her ex had the 'gift' of leaving her like that. "Okay. I'll tell you everything. Sit down because it's long. But first…" she said as she got closer to the other woman and smiled when her face was only inches away from hers. "Hi." She said.

"Hi." The blonde said cracking into a smile and kissing her. "Now, story time."

"Wow, that does sound like an intense conversation." Arizona said as she sipped on her wine and ate a chip with salsa.

"It was." Eliza said nodding her head. "It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be though…Shoshana, she…has matured. Surprisingly."

"Well, she's 29 and a child prodigy. If she hadn't matured, I would be concerned." Arizona said rolling her eyes.

"No, you don't get it. Shoshana is absolutely brilliant, okay? She's got the whole rational, logical intelligence thing completely figured out…but when it comes to emotional intelligence she's handicapped."

"Yeah, maybe but she's not a child anymore. I mean, she IS a child but she's also not a child, do you get what I mean?"

"Totally. But you're still not getting it. If you knew her before, this attitude would surprise you as well." Eliza said putting her hair behind her ear. "But…enough about my ex." She said turning sideways to face Arizona and grabbing her hand.

"I was really scared about tonight. Amelia tried to calm me down but nothing was working."

"Why were you scared?"

"Well…she's your ex. Not just an ex but you know, the ex."

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone has that one ex that means to them a little bit more than the others. That one ex you thought you would spend your life with." Arizona said, intertwining her fingers with Eliza's. "You have so much history with her…I was afraid that in the middle of the conversation you would realize you want her back. And, of course, the fact that she's beautiful and freaking 29 years old didn't help at all."

Eliza chuckled a little bit. "Arizona, I love you. I really, really do. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. What I had with Shoshana was intense and meaningful, yes. But it's over. I'm with you now and honestly? I'm happy than I've ever been." The brunette said leaning in to kiss her softly.

"You are?" the blonde said smiling.

"I am."

"I am happier than I've ever been too." Arizona said, leaning in and kissing the other woman.

"So, this is it okay? You and I." Eliza said.

"You and I." Arizona said chuckling. "And to think I had to chase you for months for you to even look at me twice!".

"Good things come to those who wait." The brunette said laughing and pulling the blonde closer to her by the hips, placing herself above her and kissing her neck.

"You are so full of yourself." Arizona said, breathing heavily as the brunette put her hands underneath her top and sucked her neck.

"And . ." Eliza said, placing a kiss on Arizona's neck and jaw in between each word.

The blonde ran her hands up and down the brunette's back, titling her head so that Eliza had more access to her neck as she took Arizona's shirt off.

"I thought you were exhausted…" Arizona said, pulling her girlfriend closer into her and arching her back.

"Well, you work better than a red bull." Eliza said, taking off her own shirt and unbuttoning the blonde's jeans as she kissed her way down through her body.