Title: Rewriting a Tragedy

Rating: T (will undoubtedly become M later on)

Warnings: Abuse(and like everything else in Tokyo Ghoul)

Chapter 1: How It Began

The first time Kaneki heard her voice, had been the first time that his mother had hit him. He remembered it clear as day, and perhaps he always would.

His mother had been sick again, from overworking herself as she often did. His mother did not listen to Kaneki's pleas for her to get rest and Kaneki had grown angry. He had accused her of being selfish, accused her of not caring about him.

Two things happened that day, that Kaneki would never forget. The first being that he had learned to never openly oppose his mother's ideology. The second, was something that would follow him into his formative years and be a building block in the tragedy that was Ken Kaneki. For it had also been the day that the seeds of his resentment towards his mother had been planted.

The first time he heard her voice in his head, she had only said one thing. She had whispered,

"Mother is the name of God in the lips and hearts of little children, William Makepeace Thackeray."

For some reason, he had found comfort in those words, confusing as they were to a child. Reflecting upon that moment, Kaneki would admit that he found comfort in those words because they reminded him of his father. Or at least, he believed that it was something his father could have said. Kaneki knew only one thing about his father, one thing that was an indisputable fact. And that was, that his father had a love of literature. It wasn't a stretch to assume that his father often quoted random works of literature, or, so he liked to pretend.

The second time he had heard her voice had also been when he was subjected to his mother's anger. But the second incident had been far more unbelievable than the first.

He remembered his flesh stinging after each strike and he remembered apologizing profusely through his sobbing. He remembered her voice in his head repeatedly telling him to stop apologizing, and as his mother's anger seemed to rise, her voice began to hiss.

"Enough!"

Kaneki's head was thrown back, and he felt as though something deep inside him snapped and a strong force seemed to push out from within him. This alien force pushed out from his small form and forced his mother away from him, causing the woman to stagger back a good five feet.

"I..I didn't. It was her." Kaneki insisted, upon seeing the fear in his mother's eyes.

x

And then, the therapy and medication had started.

On his first appointment, Kaneki was introduced to a white coat. Her name was Akiyama Hikari, and she was kind. Truly kind, Kaneki had quickly decided, not like his mother whose kindness extended only to others.

She had diagnosed him with Psychosis, and indicated that he may be at risk of developing Schizophrenia later on in life. She had explained that childhood trauma, death of a parent, and being bullied or abused increased the risk of psychosis, and she had a sinking suspicion that all those factors were at play. He had been prescribed some atypical antipsychotics, and his mother had been warned that he had to be closely monitored when taking the medication due to his young age.

However, due to their financial situation, it was hard for his mother to supply the medication that he needed. And as such, he found himself being subjected to beating far more regularly than before. Because he was being selfish.

x

Kaneki had been in his father's study after another day when he had discovered something particularly strange. He had been inspecting the bruises that had begun to form on his arm. They had started to turn an ugly purple colour and he had been poking at them. Wincing when he realized that they were still tender, he fell back against his father's table.

How he wished this nightmare would end.

As he thought that, his arm began to tingle. And when his eyes trailed down his arm, he could see his bruised flesh returning to its normal pale colour. Dragging his fingers down his arm where the bruises had been, he couldn't even feel a tinge of pain.

"I apologize for the trouble I have caused you." She had said in his head, "Would you like me to leave?"

"No!" He had shouted, before he could help himself.

He didn't really want her to leave. She did make the pain go away, and he supposed she didn't mean to land him in this situation. He would have found himself in the situation eventually, with or without her interferences. Most of all, she tried to protect him, and nobody else had ever done that. So, he supposed he could bear the beatings if he could keep a friend.

"Don't leave. Just don't...do it again." He ordered, feeling somewhat foolish speaking to himself alone in a room.

"As you wish."

And she remained true to her word. For through all his appointments and prescriptions, through all the beatings and verbal lashings, Harry remained a constant.

x

When Hide had first asked Kaneki to be his friend, Kaneki had been reluctant. He had long ago convinced himself that he did not need anyone else. Even with Harry's protests, Kaneki had decided that he did not want to get hurt, nor did he want to hurt anyone who got close to him. Above all else, Kaneki did not want to be like his mother.

And he had told the boy just that. He had said that he would hardly be a good friend. And even though his voice had wavered, Kaneki had been certain that he had gotten his point across clear as day.

But the boy had been insistent and Harry had declared that she liked him. And so, Kaneki had said yes. Not know at the time, that the boy would become such an integral part of his life.

x

Staring down at the grave, Kaneki felt a strange sort of emptiness. He could remember the times he had wished ill upon his mother, as he always seemed to do after particularly foul beatings. He wasn't certain how he felt now that she was gone. Relief perhaps? Fear of the unknown?

"Nothing," Harry's voice echoed in his head, a bitter note to her tone, "You feel nothing."

And something about her tone made him believe exactly that. It was as though she spoke from experience, and she was correct. He felt nothing knowing that his tormentor was dead. And he found himself remembering the first thing that Harry had ever said to him. That quote about mother being God in the eyes of a child.

God was dead, and now it was just him. Just him and Harry, and it suited him just fine.

x

After his mother's death, and his aunt's abuse, Kaneki found comfort only in her voice. And while Harry had never lashed out again, her voice had become somewhat of a sanctuary for Kaneki.

It had only been on his eleventh birthday that Kaneki had discovered that Harry wasn't just a voice in his head. He had been woken up in the middle of the night, and he had felt an almost unbearable desire for something. Rubbing his eyes, Kaneki had pushed himself up in his uncomfortable bed and whispered into the night, "Harry?"

He could all but feel her awaken in his mind, and he found himself sinking into the peaceful calm he associated with her.

Rolling out of the bed, Kaneki tiptoed out of his room and towards the bathroom, taking care not to wake up any of the other occupants of the house, not wanting to incur their wrath. Slowly locking the door behind him, he slid towards the mirror.

"Are you...real?" He asked his reflection.

He gazed at his own reflection for a moment before a sharp pain fired through his head and his hands shot out to grip the sides of the sink to steady himself. He was rocketed through memories that were not his own, but he saw them through his own eyes.

He saw letters flooding a home, and he saw his hands reaching for them. He saw flying motorbikes and ceiling that looked like the skies. He saw red hair and warm eyes that lit up when they met his own.

He wanted to see more, but the pain grew unbearable. And as it slowly ebbed away, all that could be heard was the sound of his heavy breathing. Raising his head slowly, he met his gaze in the mirror. But his eyes were not his own. Instead of the dark eyes he was used to seeing, a startling pair of emerald eyes stared back.

"For now, I am whatever you need me to be."

That had been the night that Kaneki learned that there were more than just Ghouls in the world. It had also been the night that Kaneki realized that if Harry was more than just a voice in his head, then he could lose her as well. And the thought itself horrified him.

x

Hide had been the first, and only person that Kaneki had told. It had been after Hide had confronted Kaneki's Aunt and recovered Kaneki's books for him without any fear of the consequences.

It had been that moment that Kaneki decided it didn't just have to be Harry and him, that he could have more. He had remembered Harry's happiness when he had come upon that decision and he had felt a flutter of pride in his chest for making her happy.

Hide had been supportive, could the boy be anything else? But Kaneki had always speculated that Hide didn't entirely believe him. At least, not until that day.

It had started out as an average day, but of course, Hide's boisterous attitude had gotten him into a bout of trouble with a particularly foul mannered boy. And while Hide was only slightly roughed up, he had picked fun and insisted that "If Harry was really magic, the least she could do was fix this up."

Kaneki didn't remember much after that, but according to Hide, in that moment, Kaneki had changed. Like a projection, Kaneki's form had flickered, and Hide swore that Kaneki had given him a teasing smirk. Kaneki had accused him of lying, until Hide insisted that Kaneki's eyes had flashed a brilliant shade of green that had to be magic.

And while Kaneki found the description to be entirely ironic, he knew that what Hide had said was true. After all, he had seen those eyes in the mirror all those years ago. And so, Harry became the secret that tightened the bond between the two boys.

x

In the years that followed, Kaneki learned that Harry was capable of projecting herself and using her magic. He also learned that in moments where he was weak, she could take control of his entire being, and while the thought should have frightened him, he was comforted knowing that she would protect him.

Harry had warned him however, that the older he got, the weaker her tie to him became. That, as he developed, there was little room for her consciousness to co-exist with his. She had warned him that a time would come soon where she would no longer be able to help him. Until that time came however, she had advised him to distance himself from dangerous situations, because his fear might block her out entirely.

And even with everything wrong in the world, Kaneki decided that for now, he quite liked this strange existence. He was quite content ignoring the world, for he had made his own world. He had Harry, Hide and the pages of the books he loved so dearly.

X

"Are you even listening to me?" A loud voice asked, startling Kaneki from his pondering.

Snapping his eyes up, Kaneki was greeted by the face of his best friend, merely an inch away from his own. With a yelp, Kaneki pushed himself away from the table. The action caused the table to tilt towards Hide, spilling the contents of Hide's glass onto his lap and the floor.

"Kaneki," Hide sputtered, pushing the ice off of him and staring at the wet patch on his pants blandly. Grabbing some napkins from the table, Hide said, "Now it looks like I've wet myself. How am I supposed to pick up chicks now?"

Rolling his eyes at his friend's antics, Kaneki returned his attention to his book with a shrug, "It's not like you would have picked them up either way."

With an over exaggerated gasp, Hide cried, "Harry! How are you sitting idly by while I am being bullied?!"

Raising his head slowly, Kaneki could feel his eyes flashing green, as they often did when Harry used her magic. Even to this day, it felt incredibly strange, because even though the magic came from within him, Kaneki always felt that it wasn't his.

Regardless, along with the whispered 'Tergeo' that echoed in his mind, the water was siphoned off of Hide, leaving him clean. And with a sniff, Kaneki mumbled, "Spoilsport."

Clean and content, Hide slid back down onto his seat and leaned closer towards Kaneki, a large grin on his face as he whispered, "What about the girl over there. She's cute, isn't she?"

Turning his head in the direction Hide was motioning towards, Kaneki found a girl with long blonde hair and large green eyes and he could feel his cheeks burning. He was reminded how his pretween years had been particularly embarrassing. Kaneki found it uncomfortable to consider anything other than platonic relationships, considering the fact that his mind was occupied by someone else, a female someone else (which had put him in numerous occasions where he wasn't quite sure if he found the person attractive, or if Harry found the person attractive). And while there were people that Kaneki found visually pleasing, the thought of doing things with someone was as equally horrifying for Kaneki as it was amusing for Harry.

"I guess," Kaneki stuttered, snapping his head away when the girl smiled at him.

Leaning back into his chair, Hide sighed, "Come on Kaneki, you can't be a hermit forever."

"He's not wrong," Harry hummed in his mind, "You know I won't be here forever."

"Stop it!" Kaneki cried, closing his book and abandoning it on the table, knowing very well that he would not be done with this conversation any time soon, "She's not my type."

"You have a type," Hide snorted, grabbing Kaneki's drink and pulling it towards him, "That's rich."

Trying to wrestle the drink back from his friend, Kaneki forced down a blush and said, "I know a pulse is the only thing you look for in a girl, Hide. But some of us want something a bit more than just that."

"Whatever." Hide said, freeing the now empty glass and jumping from his seat. Throwing some money on the table for the two drinks he finished, he ran his hand through his hair and declared, "Well, I have to get back to class. See ya."

Watching him leave, Kaneki reached over the table and grabbed his book, flipping it open. This particular book was his favorite. He had found it in a used bookstore, or technically Harry had found it. He had glanced over it easily, until Harry had indicated her surprise at the book being in a muggle bookstore.

Over time, the book had become worn and was falling apart, but Kaneki could not part with it. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was a book that reminded Kaneki that the world wasn't just humans and ghouls. It also became clear that wherever Harry was from, did not have the same Ghouls as Tokyo had.

It was only when he reached a certain passage regarding Ghouls as house pets, that he saw movement in the corner of his eye, followed by the sound of something hitting the floor. Glancing down, he realized that a boy had slipped on the pool of pink liquid on the floor by his table. Hide had forgotten to clean up his spilled drink.

"What the hell!" The boy hissed, rising to his feet. Ignoring his friend's laughter, he stomped up to Kaneki and demanded, "Are you stupid? Don't know how to clean your shit off the floor?"

Slamming his book shut, Kaneki turned slowly towards the fuming boy and said blandly, "I don't really care to discuss your bowel movements, but if they even slightly resemble the liquid on the floor, I suggest you see a doctor. Excuse me."

As Kaneki walked out into the brisk weather, he shushed Harry who was snickering. He had long ago learned that Harry was particularly snippy and after years, it had rubbed off on him. And he supposed he didn't really mind it all that much.