My day 6 for DragonOutlawQueen week! I hope you enjoy and I'd love to hear what you think about it. If you don't like DOQ please don't bother reading 8k words and keep your opinion regarding the pairing to yourself!

Pearls of Time

Pearl Harbor, April 9th 1945

Spring is here in its full force. It's never really cold around here, even in winter, nothing compared to the harsh winters he's seen in Europe. Those cold, unforgiving winters which have cost so many people their lives. Without food, without firewood, without homes because they had become victims of the war. Frostbite and starvation, the haggard faces of soldiers and civilians that haunt him, that make him shake his head in an attempt to dispel them. Focus, Robin.

He does - focuses on the hibiscus bush to his left and the flowers which bloom throughout the year and those which just start to blossom now, which make the island of O'ahu an oasis of color. Much better than the concrete desert and destruction he left behind a couple of days ago when he left the sick bay in South England. One can only call it bizarre how some parts of the world drown in death and ashes while this one seems to have more than recovered after the fatal attack of 1941. But that's good. It's good to come home to something… whole.

Robin shoulders his duffle bag and makes his way slowly down the street, because well, it's not particularly easy with a damaged hip that makes walking a freaking nightmare. Never would he describe himself as an invalid, a casualty of war. Nurse Claire had reassured him that the limping was barely noticeable and he should be glad they didn't amputate his leg two years ago when his plane got hit by a German Messerschmitt and crashed into the English Channel on the way back to the airbase. The injury may be barely noticeable for everyone else, but Robin knows it's there. That's why he keeps clenching his teeth as he follows the street signs until he arrives at the longed for destination. Finally. The warm breeze of the Pacific makes the palm leaves in front of the coral pink Naval Hospital Pearl Harbor swing gently from one side to the other. It's gentle, caressing, inviting, like the soft touch of a lover. So familiar, yet so very… different.

There are construction works going on, a few buildings have been added. The hospital is not the only thing looking different though. Robin hasn't spent much time here before he left, but the few months in Honolulu before the war happened, had been the best of his life. A life he more than anything wishes to go back to. Can he though? Is it even possible? Everything has changed, everything he used to be familiar with is different. The country, the island, the city, the people… he himself is not who he used to be. Robin remembers the day they arrived at the harbor like it was yesterday, when they came here with plans for their future but in fact, it has been three and a half years. So damn much has happened.

He drops the duffle bag next to his feet as he watches people heading in and out of the hospital, many of them in the same military uniform he is wearing right now, some in marine uniforms and some in new ones he can't identify. They're probably stationed here, waging the war in the Pacific against Japan. Robin wonders how many mates they've lost, what they've been through. Have they been through anything at all or were they like he used to be - young and naïve and hungry for action, to fight for their country overseas? For a split second he closes his eyes, but the noises of battle and pictures burned into his memory start catching up with him, so he does what Dr. Henry Morgan has told him. Take a deep breath and think of your happy place.

Her face forms instantly in his mind with her fair skin, short, perfectly styled dark curls stopping right above her chin, the elusive and satisfying smile from dark red colored lips he thinks of every time he closes his eyes. And then there are the dark brown orbs, the ones that change their color depending on her mood and the light, the ones he can get lost in over and over again. Every time he thinks of her she's wearing the little white nurse dress with a hat - the one she hated because it would never stay in place no matter how many pins she would fasten it with. It's the outfit she wore when they first met back in New York what it feels like a lifetime ago. He used to carry her picture in his chest pocket but he'd lost it in the plane crash, something he's never really gotten over. All he's left of her is the ring she gave him on their wedding day, the one that hangs around his neck with the pair of dog tags that doesn't belong to him.

Three and a half years, thousands of kilometers and a world at war between them. Yet he found his way back to her, he survived. She was the face that kept him going when he couldn't remember, her voice was the one that spoke to him when he was lost in the darkness, when he almost drowned in his plane in the English Channel. Even when his memory was lost his subconscious could still remember her. The question now is - what does she remember of him?

Robin's breath hitches when he sees her exit the hospital, clad in her nurse uniform with the ridiculously cute little hat that doesn't seem to sit just right and a dark brown woolen jacket. It's her, he knows it's her even if her hair is a good three inches longer, falling softly over her shoulders and her skin tanned. He'd recognize her anywhere. His heart is beating rapidly as she comes closer, laughing at something and damn he missed her so much he has to suppress the urge to just call out for her. She's flanked by two women, one of them he almost doesn't recognize. There's Mal with her perfectly styled blonde hair and signature red lipstick, accompanied by an aura of pure authority that always scared the hell out of him. Is she even still head nurse? But then his eyes wander over to the other woman. Long dark curls are gone and her once innocent face is now framed by a short pixie cut that makes her look older, much more mature even though her skin is as fair and resistant against the Hawaiian sun as ever. The weight of the dog tags around his neck becomes unbearable for a moment, dragging him down so much he almost loses his balance. Mary Margaret.

Whether it's his sudden movement or just coincidence he doesn't know, but Mal spots him first. Sharp blue eyes are boring into his, wide with surprise as her lips part slightly. Regina's laughter fails as she casually bumps into her friend's shoulder, probably asking her what's wrong before taking her hand and squeezing it lightly. Mal holds onto it, whispering something he can't hear because he's too far away, but he can see Regina tense and hold onto her friend's hand even tighter.

A high pitched scream disturbs the silence as Mary Margaret sinks down onto her knees, one hand lingering on her lips while the other points directly at him. Robin rips his eyes away from Mal over to the brunette kneeling on the floor shaking and it is only then that Regina follows Mary Margaret's pointed finger and spots him. She looks at him as if she's seeing a ghost, her hand clasping Mal's so tight he can see the white of her knuckles shining through.

For so long he has waited for this moment, has dreamed about it, has imagined every possible scenario of her running toward him, running away from him, waiting for him to come to her. And every time he knew exactly what he would do but today… today he feels frozen on the spot. Nobody moves, it is as if time is standing still. People have stopped now, watching the scene in front of them curiously. God how he wishes they would just move on, how he wishes he could move, but his legs won't budge. Surprisingly it's Mal who steps forward first, who gently puts an arm around Regina's trembling shoulders, mumbles something that makes his wife nod and guides her over to him.

She's shaking, eyes open in shock and seemingly afraid of blinking because of the fear he might vanish. The closer they come the more afraid she looks, caught like a deer in the headlights. Robin could swear Mal keeps pushing her forward, that her instinct is to run as far away as possible. Nothing new here - she would always run away from conflict and from things that scare her. A slight ache spreads in his chest. Robin doesn't want her to be afraid of him.

When they're only three steps away, Mal stops, eyebrows arched. Tears are brimming in Regina's eyes and it seems like she's holding her breath.

"Breathe, ko'u aloha," Mal whispers, patting her friend's shoulder. Regina does as told, takes a short breath and blinks, making a tear slip down the side of her cheek. It crushes Robin's heart to see her like this, so fragile, so disturbed, but what did he expect?

"Are you real?" Is the first thing she whispers. She's still not looking him in the eye, is looking everywhere but directly at him as if she has a hard time believing it. To be fair, from what he knew, he was proclaimed dead two and a half years ago, so it shouldn't bother him as much that she is standing there, looking at him like he is a ghost. He's lost a lot of weight in the past few years due to constant stress, malnutrition and the accident. The first time he's seen a mirror after months has left him shaken and feeling unwell. It's not bad, he's seen soldiers worse off than him, but he hasn't been able to shave again before seeing her, so there is a good week of scruff on his face, making him probably look wild and barbaric. Of course he doesn't look like the person who left her all this time ago, he isn't the same person either. And the way she's standing there, looking anywhere but into his eyes makes him wonder if she's still the same. Probably not.

"It's… it's me. I'm real. I'm here." Robin swallows hard, every word on his tongue as heavy as lead as he stretches out his hand toward her. This is the moment, the moment that will define their future. Would she take him back? There is no obligation, legally, they aren't even married anymore since he was proclaimed dead. But Regina is everything he has left, the big piece of him that kept him alive. She's the reason he's here. She saved him… and with whatever she decided now, she could end him as well. His gaze wanders nervously from Regina to Mal and back again and the rush of relief that overcomes him when she finally steps forward is overwhelming.

In a split second she's in his arms, pressed tightly against his chest with heart wrenching sobs shaking through her body. Regina's grip on him feels so strong, the heels she is wearing making her almost the same height. He's losing his balance, can't hold them up, not like he used to, so he sinks down onto his knees with her, ignoring the intense pain in his hip as he buries his nose in her hair.

Heaven, this must be what heaven feels like and more than one time in the past years has he wondered if this is what would expect him when he crossed Peter at Heaven's Gate. Regina still smells the same, that significant scent of apple and vanilla with a hint of hospital and the odor of just her. Home, this is what coming home feels like.

The pain he feels in his hip and on his back where Regina's nails are digging into his skin is making him feel alive. Robin squeezes her tighter against his chest, not able to hold back with the tears that get soaked up by her hair. Never would he be ashamed of the tears he shed because of her, the ones he cried when he thought he'd never see her again, the ones he cried when he remembered and the ones he's shedding now that he has her back and will never ever let her go again. If she still wants him that is. Hoping the moment won't end, Robin nuzzles deeper into her neck, breathing her in, filling his lungs with life and love and for the first time in forever something that comes close to happiness.

"You're real," she whispers close to his ear, voice filled with emotion. "You're alive."

"All because of you."

Robin loosens the embrace, gently pushing her back and finally, for the first time she's looking directly at him with teary eyes. Her make up is smeared, cheeks wet with black streaks from the mascara, but he doesn't care because she's beautiful to him. The most beautiful thing to look at and he just wants to get lost in a pair of eyes that could always look directly into his soul. Regina's lips are trembling, her hands finally let go of his back and gently cup his cheek.

Her touch is so soft as if she's scared he's going to vanish if she touches him, tracing his features with her thumbs and forefingers. When she catches her lower lip with her teeth he raises an eyebrow. "Nice beard."

A choked laugh escapes his throat and god he wants to kiss her senseless right now. But he doesn't know if he has the right to do it, doesn't know if it's not too much at once. Instead, Robin presses his lips to her forehead, pulling her back into another tight embrace, this time much shorter but no less intense.

"I missed you so much, my love." Regina doesn't answer, just holds him, breathing him in audibly. A moment later she adjusts their embrace, presses her forehead against his before rubbing their noses together. She's stopped visibly shaking but her hands are still slightly trembling from the surprise and realization. Back, he's back for good, back with her, back home.

"It's good to see you, Robin," a small voice says. Mary Margaret has made her way over to the couple, hands nervously playing with the pleats of her skirt. Her face looks even paler than usual and Robin is waiting, waiting for the inevitable question he already dreads to give the answer to. It's Regina who pulls back this time, a nervous expression on her face as she raises easily from the ground.

Robin closes his eyes before he adjusts his good leg in order to stand up, taking a deep breath. It's hurting, a sharp pain that makes him wince audibly. He didn't want her to find out this way, doesn't want to worry her. She's always been smart and attentive though, so when he's breathing through the pain, she crouches down next to him with her hand on his shoulder.

"Robin, are you okay?"

"Fine. Fine, just give me… a moment."

"Let us help you." Surprised he looks up, seeing Mal standing right next to him, her eyes fixed on his. Robin doesn't want help, doesn't want Regina to think she's stuck with an invalid for the rest of her life, but then again he doesn't even know if she wants him back. Sighing, Robin nods and waits for Mal and Regina to stand beside his shoulders. They hook their arms under it, count to three and with united force they pull him into a standing position. It takes a moment for him to adjust, but they don't let go, not even Mal which surprises him. They've always been friendly with each other, but he's never been able to feel particularly close to her due to her habit of keeping people at arm's length. Still, while his friends used to call her untouchable, some even scary, Robin knew from Regina what her family has been through.

"Thank you."

"Bit rusty, huh?" Blunt as ever, Mal's red lips curl into a small smile as she squeezes his shoulder.

Robin chuckles. "Not rusty, just broken. They should have put me to the junkyard with all the warhawks and thunderbolts."

Regina swats his shoulder hard and only when he sees the seriousness in her eyes, how much she's hurt by what he said. He could swear there are tears brimming in her eyes once again, but she swallows them down. He's used to joke about his injury, has overcome the dark times when he thought of killing himself because of it. Who wants an invalid as a husband, as a lover? But back in England he's seen the women who got their fathers, husbands and sons back. The fact that mattered was they came back, they survived, no matter how many limbs were missing. "I'm sorry."

"Don't you ever say something like that again."

"I'm sorry, Regina."

"Robin." They break their gaze to look at Mary Margaret who is standing only a few feet away, nervous and insecure. Robin takes a deep breath, knows what follows. "D… David. Is he… Is there any chance he is…"

It breaks his heart to see her like this. He's always been fond of Mary Margaret. Actually he owes her, since she's been the one to introduce him to Regina, so telling her, no, her husband has not made it back is probably on the list for the hardest thing he's ever had to do. Slowly, he reaches for the dog tags around his neck, taking off the wedding ring which he slips into his pocket before he steps forward.

"I'm so sorry, Mary. He… he isn't coming back. David was my best friend, you know that. I was with him, when he died and he…" Damn the lump that's forming in his throat. "He told me to tell you that he loved you. More than anything." His hand is holding out his best friend's tags toward her which she receives with a trembling hand. She takes a look at them with tears streaming down her cheeks, dropping from her chin down onto her coat. Robin wants to comfort her but doesn't know if he should, if he has the right to do so.

"Thanks for this, Robin," is all she whispers before she turns around and walks off.

"Mary Margaret!" Regina calls after her, but Mal holds her back, shaking her head and telling her that the woman needs time to grieve.

"Not everyone is granted a miracle, Regina." If Robin doesn't know any better he could depict an ounce of dread as Mal says these words. She looks… split. Half happy, half hurt, doesn't seem to know whether to smile or look angry. Instead, the usually so strong woman seems rather defeated, as if she's lost a battle. Her face is more like a grimace as she nods over to the car park and says: "Let's get you home."

Xxxxx

The ride home in Mal's eggshell blue Chevrolet Fleetline is mostly quiet. Robin is sitting in the front with her since he had trouble with his hip while getting into the back, while Regina is leaning forward in between the two front seats. Regina is holding Robin's hand, her thumb caressing the back of it, while her other hand she's absently playing with one of Mal's curls. She seems still incredibly tense as Robin tells them how long it took to take the BOAC from London to New York and then to Chicago, via Denver to LA and finally the military machine up to Honolulu. Regina is explaining how they expanded the hospital and how much more work they are doing.

"Mal is overseeing the nurses now - and she scared one of the new doctors to hell on his first day, he wanted to resign his post!" Regina exclaims, twirling Mal's stand around her finger and giving it a playful tug.

"I can see you doing that," Robin smiles and raises an eyebrow when they pull up in front of a house he doesn't recognize. It's unfamiliar, not the small condo they moved in after they got married, but it's bigger, looks more spacious with a nice front yard that is picked with hibiscus bushes and palm trees. "You moved?"

Mal turns off the engine, her hands slightly shaking. She gets out of the car without another word, heading toward the front door. Regina bites her lip, an unhappy frown on her face. "Would you mind if I talked to her for a second?"

"Not at all, love. Did I… do something?"

"No!" Regina is quickly to reassure him, her hand still holding on to his. "No Robin, it's… complicated. Give me a moment to talk to her. Please."

He doesn't want to, not really. Not after three and a half years, that he couldn't touch, smell or hold her. But if she wishes to speak to her friend, he can wait. He swore to himself he would do anything in order to make her happy. So far she hasn't told him to leave which is a big win in his book. Yet, he knew this is just the beginning. Surely Regina has questions, many of them - and he will answer them all as truthfully as he can. But he has questions, too.

"Thank you."

"For what?" he asks, dreading the moment she would let go of his hand.

"For surviving." Without another word she leaves the car, running up the pathway and then the stairs into the house, while Robin is left alone outside to his thoughts.

The moment she asked for turns into a while. Robin gets out of the car, his hip is not comfortable with the seat anymore. As the watches the front door of the house, the sky turns a bright burning orange. They used to love to go to the beach and watch the sunsets. It used to be a safe place, a happy place. Now though, the sunset seems more like a precursor of misery. He's associating too many bad things with the breaking of the night, remembers how the bright red chalk cliffs of Dover were the last thing he saw before his plane crashed into the ocean.

A violent shudder wrecks his body and he clasps the roof of the car for support as his vision starts to blur and his leg begins to vibrate. As he spots Regina stepping out of the house, it seems like once again he is right. The wedding ring is his pocket is burning a hole into his chest, but he doesn't dare to take it out and put it back on his finger. There's a simple reason: Regina isn't wearing hers either. Even though she's wearing a smile on her lips, her eyes tell a completely different story. She's troubled if the deep gap between her eyebrows is any indication. Will this be the moment she tells him to leave?

"Do you need help with your bag?" the brunette asks instead, heading toward the trunk of the car. It's not heavy, in fact, all he has inside is a second uniform and a few papers. The rest got lost in the war. He walks over to take it out, their shoulders brushing together for a second, making both of them gasp audibly.

"I'll be fine, thank you. Is everything okay?"

She's biting her lip, avoiding an answer, instead takes the bag from him despite him claiming he could do it himself and points at the door. "I think I have a few shirts left. I uh… I gave most of it away, because… I… I thought you were…"

"Dead." Regina flinches as he finishes her sentence and he doesn't like the look of guilt on her face right now. She had every right to give them away. Why keep a wardrobe full of things that would remind her day and day again of her dead husband? "It's okay, Regina. I understand completely. I wouldn't have expected anything else." Her smile is thankful and it surprises him when she throws one arm around his shoulders to hug him. God how much he missed her.

Mal is nowhere to be seen as they make their way up the steps of the porch and Regina leads him upstairs to a room with a twin bed. A wardrobe, a shelf and a nightstand with a small desk at the window greet him. It's not spacious but not small either, just the perfect size. The walls are painted in a light baby blue and just above the bed are a few sparrows painted in a matching dark blue shade. It looks like the walls of an old nursery.

Regina walks over to the wardrobe to pull out a cardboard box that she places upon the bed. She opens the lid, places a bunch of letters - he recognizes them as the ones he wrote her from the front - pictures and a small velvet box onto the bed, before she pulls out one of his old plaid button up shirts out as well as a pair of light brown pants. It's the outfit he wore when he proposed to her and it makes Robin's heart ache to know she kept this particular combination that reminded her of good times, better times.

"I… I used to sleep in it," she confesses a bit ashamed for a reason he doesn't know why. "I used to wear it all the time, this and a few others, because they smelled of you. I always smelled them when I missed you, because it felt like you were here."

The sudden image of her wearing his shirt and only that with her creamy thighs peeking out, her hair all loose and messed up from sleep does things to him, makes him want to kiss her. But he doesn't, because the fact she's placing the things back into the box, along with the velvet box that hold her wedding ring, is reason enough not to. Robin could swear there are tears brimming in the corner of her eyes, but he doesn't say anything, instead, he takes the shirt and holds it up. It looks too big and surely when he still used to have his muscular upper arms and broad shoulders it might have fit perfectly. Now though, he would probably drown in it.

He finds her watching him, an unreadable expression on her face that makes him swallow and place the shirt on the bed. "Regina, I think we need to talk."

"More than you know," she whispers guiltily, which leaves him all confused and frowning. "Please make yourself a home in here. Get changed, wash up - the bathroom is downstairs to your left - and then we will have some dinner. You must be hungry."

"You have no idea."

She places the box back inside the wardrobe before she heads over to the door, lingering just as he's beginning to unlace his shoes. Robin looks up, caught off guard by the lasting look she gives him.

"I really did miss you, Robin." Something feels off, something isn't right here, but he can't put a finger on it. Yes, he didn't expect to be welcomed back with trumpets and confetti, he also didn't expect for Regina to just invite him back into her bed, but something feels awkward and it's not just him.

"I missed you, too." Shaking his head, Robin gets changed quickly before he heads downstairs into the small bathroom where he washes his face and hands. When he came back out, he could smell pan fried sausages coming from the kitchen, which made his stomach growl and his mouth water. He hasn't eaten much during the days it took him to get here, but now he feels like he could eat a whole pig.

As he enters the kitchen, Mal is just placing three plates on the wooden table, while Regina brings a bowl with buttered spinach, mashed potatoes and last but not least the pan with the sausage. She spies robin who is leaning in the doorway, watching the domestic scene in front of him. He shouldn't be jealous, shouldn't wish it was him instead of Mal. It's what he could have had and he only has himself to blame for what happened. So he forces a smile onto his face as Regina points at a chair.

"Our food is being rationed at the moment, that's why we don't have enough right now, but…"

"It's more than I could have asked for," Robin answers, taking the seat opposite Mal, who avoids his gaze. "Malise. Alles in Ordnung?"

"Fine," she says, avoiding Robin's attempt at speaking to her in her native language. Mal was born in Copenhagen in 1907, but with her father owning a shipyard in Hamburg's harbor, she grew up in the Hanseatic until her parents immigrated to New York in 1924 in order to extend their business. He was wondering if he should tell her about his involvement in "Operation Gomorrha", the attack against Hamburg end of July 1943, where the 739 RAF planes with the support of the USAAF destroyed almost all of the city with explosive and fire bombs. He remembers flying off, leaving a burning, smoking hell, death and complete destruction behind underneath him. On second thought, telling her he destroyed her former home, a place he knew she used to be very fond of - at least before he left - not a good conversation starter.

They eat in silence. The chair Robin is sitting on is making him uncomfortable, making his hip hurt a little, so more than once he has to shift his weight and closes his eyes when a biting sting of pain takes his breath away.

"Are you okay, Robin?" Regina asks concerned. She's been watching him on and off, the expressions on her face shifting from star struck to troubled every other minute. She's always been an open book to him and he knows something is going on, yet he doesn't have all the puzzle pieces. Her hand reaches out for him, but he shakes it off, doesn't want to bother her, doesn't want to trouble her. It is Mal - who else? - who asks the question he knows Regina is dying to ask.

"What happened to your thigh?"

"Hip, actually. It's nothing."

"Robin," Regina chastises him in her don't-you-dare-mess-with-me voice. "We don't lie to one another, remember?"

He does. Remembers how she made him promise to be honest with her after he lied to her about his past all these years ago. So he takes a deep breath and puts his cutlery down.

"It happened on the morning of July 25, 1943."

"Operation Gomorrha," Mal whispers and he nods abashed. She knows, at least he thinks he does. If so, Mal doesn't show any kind of emotion.

"It's the day you were proclaimed…" Regina doesn't finish the sentence, just lifts a hand onto her mouth to hide the shock.

Robin doesn't like to tell the story, in fact, he has only ever told two other people. There are too many bad memories entwined. "The attacks became more frequent once the US joined the war in Europe. They wanted to demoralize the German population by bombing and burning down their cities. What Mal rightfully stated as "Operation Gomorrha", was the worst attack on Hamburg we flew. At least the worst one I was part of." He swallows, takes a sip from his water before he continues. "We escorted the bomber on their way back to England when we were surprised by a squadron of German Messerschmitts. I was flying my Thunderbolt when it happened. They used the rising sun to attack us from behind and above - nobody saw them coming. I tried to hunt them down, one by one and I got a few. A squadron of three chased me, pushed me away from the group and chased me all the way down to Plymouth. It was one on one by then. I'm a good pilot, but their planes… they outgunned me. They hit my plane and the tank exploded."

Regina gasps and Robin looks up, seeing the tears stream down her face. This time he does grab her hand, but he has to finish the story. He tells her what he remembers. He remembers the sizzling heat, his uniform catching fire, the stinging of the smoke in his eyes. How fast the plane drops, how he is trying to eject, how the roof flies off, but the mechanism for the seat doesn't work. More shots are being fired, he is burning alive… The last thing he sees when the plane hits the ice cold ocean is her face and then - nothing.

"Oh God!" Regina jumps up and heads straight for the sink, noises of retching and coughing follow. Mal gives him a stern look, before she gets up and soothingly rubs her back with one hand, while she holds Regina's hair back with the other. She's mumbling something, her touch seeming to comfort Regina who finally rises and presses a towel to her face while Mal turns on the water.

Robin doesn't know what to do, watches over his shoulder how Mal comforts her while she's hanging over the sink suffering through a mixture of retching and sobbing. He doesn't want to see her cry anymore. But why the fuck did Mal ask in the first place? She wanted to know what happened! And if the truth is hard to swallow then they shouldn't have asked for it. He's the one who has to live with it, he's the one with the burn marks on his back and chest. He's the one who lost his memory, who died and well… he's the one being incredibly unfair right now.

Carefully he pushes his chair back, about to rise when Regina buries her face in Mal's shoulder, seemingly breathing her in one, two, three times, before she turns back toward him and apologizes.

"I shouldn't have…" Robin starts, but she shakes her head, eyes red from crying and vomiting.

"We asked for it. It's just… All these years I imagined what happened, how you… how you…" She can't bring herself to voice the word 'died' but it's okay. He knows. "I just never thought… I had no idea this happened to you, Robin. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, love," Robin quickly reassures her and adds, "I survived."

Mal guides her back to her chair but doesn't sit down, she keeps standing protectively behind Regina, hands rubbing her shoulders. It's a way of touch Robin is just too familiar with because well, it's he who used to be the one doing this whenever she was agitated. A troubling feeling settles in his stomach, but he pushes the thought aside for now.

"If you survived, how come Regina got the message of your death? And why didn't you come back?" Mal looks at him, clearly confused while Regina squeezes the towel in her hand.

"I couldn't. A French fisherman found me floating on debris of my plane. I don't know how I managed to get out of my seat, or how I even survived the collision. Most of my uniform was burnt, my dog tags were missing and I was heavily injured. Many bones were broken, and my hip was smashed. He brought me to a French MASH and they tried their best. I was in and out of consciousness for weeks. Apparently the only thing I kept repeating was your name, Regina."

"You did?" Her voice is just a small whisper.

"Yes. They didn't understand what I was saying - the French are very stubborn apparently when it comes to other languages - but they picked up on my accent."

"They thought you were British," Mal concludes and once again Robin nods.

"After three months they transferred me over to England. My injuries weren't better, I couldn't even walk because of my hip. They wanted to perform an amputation, but one of the nurses had a better idea. She broke my hip again."

"She what?!"

"Claire broke it and her and Doctor Morgan performed an operation, trying to fix the bones. I lost so much blood. The wound got infected later, I thought I would die because of the pain, I… It were months of horror and pain, Regina. I don't think I want to talk about it."

"You don't have to, Robin." She reaches out for him and takes his hand, squeezed it and closes her eyes. She's a nurse herself. He knows she's seen injuries, has treated many victims of the war and Mal and her know exactly what all this means, what pain he must have been through. Put all of this into a war zone where you get bombed almost daily by the enemy and they're there.

"They did an incredible job with your hip if it was as bad as you said," Mal says. It's probably as much of a compliment as he will get from her. "But it still doesn't explain why you didn't reach out to us."

"It's because I suffered from severe memory loss. I couldn't even remember my own name. They all thought I was a British soldier, nobody even considered me to be from the US and because I had nothing left but my wedding ring and your name… I didn't know who I was, who you were, Regina. I kept dreaming about your face, but I couldn't assign it. The moment I remembered was when I coincidentally met David. He recognized me, he told me who I was but I didn't believe him. That is until he…" Robin shakes his head, this time it's him who's pressing his hands against his eyes in order to prevent the tears from falling. "I'm sorry, I can't…"

"It's okay. Robin, it's okay. I can finally understand. Oh Robin I'm so glad! I'm so glad you're alive." Regina slides of her chair in order to hug him. For a moment he can see Mal's face drop, but he focuses on her. It's awkward but comforting and he's glad she isn't making him tell her. It's one of the moments that haunts him in his dreams, to have your best friend die in your arms. But without David, he wouldn't have remembered. Fuck.

A few deep breaths later and he's calmed down again, his cheek pressed into Regina's flat stomach. Her skin is warm through her dress and it reminds him of the times they used to lie in bed together, holding each other, cuddling. So many memories come back, flooding his mind and senses and he's babbling now. Shouldn't bother her with this because he's only been back for a few hours, but he can't. He misses her, loves her, wants her. And he tells her.

"I missed you, Regina. I missed you so much. You're the reason I'm alive, your face kept me alive even when I didn't know who you were. I… I know a lot happened in the past few years, I know you're not wearing your ring anymore and I'm not the man I used to be. But I still love you and I thought that maybe…"

"Robin… Robin stop." Shit. Regina loosens her embrace, steps away from him and great, he screwed it all up just because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. Slowly he watches how Regina stops next to Mal and takes the blonde's hand. Mal gives her a reassuring smile and encouraging squeeze. Is this really happening? She's moved on, has she? Just like he told her to. She's going to tell him she's found another beau, that she…

"Mal and I are… together." Her eyes are fixed to the ground, her cheeks heated, but this time not from crying.

"What?!" His face slips into a shocked grimace and a shudder overcomes him. He must have heard it wrong, must have mixed something up.

"Regina and I are in a relationship. We love each other," Mal explains in a deadpan way as if she was telling him about the weather. "But… she still loves you, too."

"Mal," Regina jumps in, her body slightly shaking. She looks scared and Robin doesn't know if it's because of him or because of something else. It's 1945, in Germany homosexuals are put in concentration camps, in England they are put into prison and mental facilities, here you'd be an outcast, discriminated against, get expelled from the army… it's far, far worse than being black. They would both lose their jobs if this came out.

"No, Regina. I know you still love him, you've never stopped. You once told me you'd go through hell to be with him again."

Regina is keeping her eyes fixed to the floor and Robin doesn't know what else to do instead of stare while his mind is trying to progress what just happened. Love. Regina is in love with… Mal? With a woman? They are together? His mind is turning, long forgotten wheels are set in motion, trying to make sense of what situation he just came back to.

"Robin, say something. Please…" Regina finally whispers, but what is he supposed to say? 'Congratulations'? 'I'm happy for you'? No, no he can't say that because he isn't happy, not at all.

"You moved on."

"Oh don't make it sound so surprising Robin," Mal shots back, "it's what you told her to do. You don't get to complain. You weren't here."

"Mal," Regina says, trying to hold her back, but the blonde is taking none of it, feels the need to defend her, to defend them.

"You weren't the one to comfort her after you left, when she was freaking out while hearing about the failed allied attacks on the radio. You weren't there when she prayed every freaking hour for your wellbeing and to come back to her. You weren't there when her mother tried to marry her off to an asshole one month after your supposed funeral. You weren't there when her father died, when she lost your child and when she lost you!"

"Mal, stop!"

"I was there. I was there every single time, consoling her, reassuring her everything would be fine. I cared for her, I did your job and it was I who put her back together after the notice of your death shattered her into pieces. So you don't get to complain! Least of all that she moved on from the mess of a life you left her with!"

"Malise!" Regina yells as her, finally grabbing her attention. Mal is seething, breathing heavily and just when she realizes what she's said, that she's completely lost it, her expression turns from anger into horror. Her hand reaches out again for Regina, but she's pulling away, arms crossed in front of her chest, her face displaying the betrayal she's feeling.

"I… Regina, I…"

"I think you should leave us alone."

"Regina."

"After saying everything I asked you specifically not to say, you can at least do as I ask you now!" Her tone isn't leaving any room to argue, so Mal nods and heads upstairs without apologizing.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry she said all those things."

Robin is sitting there, stone faced staring at Regina. He doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how he's ever supposed to process the things Mal has just thrown his way. Because the problem is… she is right. He wasn't here when all this happened. He was in Europe, fighting a war that wasn't his. She asked him not to go, not to leave her, but he'd babbled something about honor and fighting for his land and then, when all she asked of him was to come back, he hadn't even been able to give her that. It's his own fault. That's what you get for throwing away the one good thing life has given you. Regina has moved on. Whether it is with a guy he doesn't know or with Mal of all people doesn't matter. She should be with the person who was there for her when she's been at her worst. And that is not him.

"She's right," is all he says. "I should go."

Panic flares up in her face and he can see she's desperate, can see tears once again forming in her eyes as he slowly rises, flinching at the pain in his hip.

"Please don't go. You… you just came back. You can't leave again."

"But you love her," Robin states, his mind still running circles.

"But I love you, too!" She's screaming now, hot, angry and confused tears dropping down her cheeks, wondering how this is possible. "I never stopped loving you, Robin. I wished you back with me every day, I would have done anything to get you back. I didn't plan on falling in love with Mal over this. But I did. I love her. I love you. I love both of you, goddamnit! It's stupid and confusing and I… I don't know what to do!"

Regina slowly sinks down onto the floor, her body shaking with violent sobs. "I... I know this isn't what you were hoping for when you came back to me, Robin. I don't know what you were hoping for. I'm not the girl you left behind three and a half years ago, I've changed. But the one thing that hasn't changed are my feelings for you."

"Regina," he whispers, his heartbreaking for her, for both of them and everything they could have had and despite the pain he sinks down next to her. He can't stand to see her cry anymore, wants her to stop because she has no idea how this impacts him. All he can think of is how he shouldn't have come back, how him turning up on her doorstep turns her life upside down. A good life, a seemingly happy life, one he feels like he now destroyed.

"You don't owe me anything, Robin, but please. Please don't leave me again. I don't think I could survive that for the second time. Please!"

Robin pulls her against his chest, happy that she lets him. For the second time today she's crying into his shoulder and he's rubbing her back. How can he deny her this one request? He doesn't have anywhere to go, she is all he has left in this world. There is one thing she is completely wrong about though, so he tells her. Gently, he pushes her back and cups her face with his hands.

"I owe you my life, Regina. You are the reason I'm alive and I won't leave you unless you tell me to. I'll take anything you can give me."

"Even if I love both of you?" She whispers in between hiccups.

He sighs deeply, can't say how they are ever supposed to figure things out, but he nods. "It's a messy, complicated situation, but my heart is telling me to stay. I love you, Regina."

It's her who closes the gap between them and drops a short, but sweet kiss against his lips and his heartbeat quickens while blood is rushing everywhere. Too soon, it's over and she nuzzles her nose against his, the affectionate way she used to before their life turned into this mess.

"We will figure something out. Together."