A/N: I meant for this to be a short drabble, but I couldn't keep the word count low enough. Oh well.

When Tony Stark first clapped eyes on the little grey man striding past the front yard of his Malibu house, his first thought was "What the hell did I drink this morning?" Then, he noticed the blond twenty-something year old.

The blond, donned in rectangular glasses and an old brown bomber jacket, seemed extraordinarily oblivious to the alien mere steps beside him. His vision, somehow, bypassed the creature entirely to hone onto Tony instead.

"Dude, you're Iron Man," the kid – because Tony was sure he was young enough to be called as such – cried out loud, blue eyes sparkling. "Your suit is awesome."

"Of course it is," Tony replied distractedly, eyes fixed, because the more he stared, the more he had to admit that little grey thing was an honest-to-goodness freaking alien. Thor didn't count. He was more of a god than anything, and he looked human enough. This little guy was every American's stereotypical fantasy!

"Can I have your autograph?" the kid exclaimed, amidst his internal awe.

Tony was starting to be convinced he was the only one who saw the thing, unless the kid was well and truly that blind.

He painstakingly tore his eyes away from the alien, just on the off chance he was hallucinating; it wouldn't do to get caught staring blankly at nothing. "Who are you and what are you doing here?" he finally demanded.

The kid only grinned wider at him. "I'm Alfred F. Jones!" the kid declared. "The meeting was boring so I'm taking a walk. They won't listen to my awesome ideas. I mean we can totally build a giant hero robot and have him protect the earth from global warming, don't you think? "

Tony gave a slow, doubtful "Uh huh," because Alfred's explanation explained absolutely nothing.

Then, as quickly as that, his attention was back on the alien once more, wondering if it understood human speech because it, unexpectedly, nodded in agreement with Alfred's every word. Hallucination be damned.

"Oh, and this is Tony," Alfred continued casually.

Tony froze.

Wait, what?

Alfred's hand was gesturing towards the alien, so good he wasn't seeing things, but wait, did the kid name an alien after him?

Alfred cocked his head, and then shook it in disappointment. "Tony's my best friend. Why would I name my best friend? Not cool, dude," he said, while the little alien started to spout what sounded like swearing to him. "No wonder Captain America's my favourite."

Tony was affronted. "I'll have you know, I'm cooler than that patriotic Capsicle," he protested, falling into the familiarity of bantering, instead of the oddness of cursing extraterrestrial. "Unless you mean literally."

"Captain America," Alfred corrected instantly, before Tony had even finished speaking.

"What's wrong with Capsicle?" Tony objected, but the kid only pouted harder.

"Because 'America' isn't on it," he explained.

"So?"

"America!" Alfred insisted passionately.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah," he muttered. That kid could be a clone of Steve with his patriotism and energy.

What were they feeding kids these days?

Fortunately (or not), a shrill ring interrupted Alfred's whining. Tony pulled out his phone, shushing the kid with a wave of his hand.

"What do you want?" he drawled haughtily into the phone, since it was only Fury, after all.

"Stark. Suit up and head to the Helicarrier. There is a situation."

Tony paused. "Situation?" He turned warily towards the alien beside Alfred. "It doesn't have anything to do with little grey men, does it?" he asked hesitantly.

"Little grey…- What are you talking about Stark?" Fury barked. "This is no time for jokes."

Huh. Well, okay then. Maybe the little alien was harmless, despite its astonishing vocabulary for curse words.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Tony said into his phone instead. "Hold on to your pants. I'm coming."

Tony ended the call but didn't move, staring at the kid whose eyes were sparkling at him once more, likely overwhelmed by the idea Iron Man was about to head out. But dude, alien! More importantly, an alien who wasn't declaring world domination. He wanted to know everything about it and its alien technology.

Sometimes Tony wondered why he was a superhero. Why did evil-doers have such horrible timing?

"Kid," Tony finally said, "… and Tony. Don't go anywhere."

Alfred only grinned at him. "I'm always around," he said, hands by sweeping outward around him in a grand gesture. "And I don't plan on leaving. This is my country, after all." The tone Alfred said it in made his pledge sound like such a graver promise than Tony expected. But, well alright then, Tony supposed. Whatever. As long as he promised. The patriotic, Captain America-like types didn't lie, right?

Tony the alien swore at him some more. Either it hated him or that was the only human vocabulary it knew. But, it was Alfred's friend. If the kid would stick around then the alien probably, likely, would too.

Tony suited up and headed for the sky.

By the time Tony came home after battle, Alfred and his alien friend were gone.

"That little liar," Tony muttered under his breath, hours later, as he gave up the kid as a lost cause. Asking JARVIS to look up anyone by the name of Alfred F. Jones yielded no results, nor were there any meetings scheduled nearby. In the end, he honestly wondered if he imagined the whole encounter.

He really should have taken a picture when he had the chance.