Stephanie Meyer owns all, the plot is mine. Please excuse my mistakes. Don't worry about the subject matter, please remember who is writing this story and things are not always what they seem.

This is really just a lead story to Paul's story, I know it's not that good but that's okay, I'm trying. I have a lot more respect for the professional writer, this is not easy work, speaking of which, if you like interracial paranormal stories that's sweet to sensual, you should check out the works of author Rae Lori, she is very talented

And a very nice person.

By the way this story is complete and just eight or so chapters.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

To Hurt To Heal

Chapter One

(Bella's POV)

The Return

Here I am, back again in the same place, standing in the same spot I stood over two months ago, with eyes as dry as stone, not with the wetness of pain it did then. Staring through the windows of my room in a house I once again share with my father. Not really seeing, but feeling, remembering the pain that tore my heart apart and had me running to find some comfort, some safety in my mother's arms.

I have tried to forget it, lock it away, and pretend that all was okay. I tried to live in a world of illusion and pretend that people who cared for me said they loved, had not shred my heart to dust. It was like putting a band aide over a cut that need to be uncovered, cleaned out and allowed to heal naturally, but no more.

As I stood there, I ripped off the band aid, letting the painful memories out, taking every painful blow of it, taking strength from it, and allowing it to freeze my heart, so no one would ever have the ability to hurt me again, but the blows were strong. It buckled me to my knees with wrenching sob that tore from my very soul, as I let the memories flow. I felt ill and wanted to crawl on my knees to the bathroom, instead I forcible stood stared sightless through my window and remembered, emotionlessly.

I was so busy for the last week of school before break, with finals and projects plus working part time, I didn't get to see or talk to Jake for a week, and I missed him, his smile, walking on first beach as we held hands, so at the end of that week, I went down to La-Push to surprise him, but it seems I was the one who got the surprise.

I had quickly parked in the front of that little red cottage, which has come to be more home to me than the one I shared with my father. As I stepped out the truck and began walking to the door, the thought went through my mind that, he usually met me at the door, but I figured he must still be asleep.

I walked through the door, as I usually do without knocking. "Hello, anybody home." I called out. "Billy, Jake?" I called out again, as I looked through each room, but no one was home.

Then it hit me, Jake must be in his make shift garage working on his VW. I hurriedly excited the door, closing it behind me, with a smile on my face, I quickly made my way to his garage, but the closer I got, the lesser I smiled. The door was opened wide; there were sounds of moans and sighs coming from it. Then I saw her, in the back seat of the Volks Wagon

An Indian girl, with long flowing hair, head thrown back, moving as if she was riding something very enthusiastically. I didn't need a dictionary to know what was going on.

I pressed my knuckles to my mouth to hold back the sob that wrenched from my soul as I ran. "Why? Why?" The thought screamed through my mind as I ran to my truck and jumped in, then got out of there before someone saw me and my humiliation complete. When I got far enough away from la push and the tears making it too hard for me to see, I pulled over, laid my arms and head on the steering wheel and cried my eyes out.

I didn't understand this, why would he do this, when I had finally admitted I was in love with him. He promised, swore to me he wouldn't hurt m, when I confessed to him that I didn't tell him I loved before because I was afraid of being hurt again. He replied, he would rather rip out his heart then hurt me again and like a fool I believed him.

After I felt calm enough, at least calm enough to drive, I pulled my truck back in gear and took off, praying my dad wasn't home when I got there and my prayers were answered. I didn't leave my truck right away, just sat there and stared into space, before sluggish getting out, and mechanically opened the door and went straight upstairs, throwing myself on my bed.

I don't know why, but memories of the times we spent together, flashed through my mind, every time the memory of that girl came unbidden , I closed my eyes tight and tried to wish it away, wishing at the same time it was just a dream, but it wasn't, it was a all too real, then something crossed my mind and I sat up quickly.

What I saw today wasn't like my Jake, he would never do anything to hurt me, at least not on purpose. We loved and protected each other. I looked at my watch and was surprised that I have been laying there for over two hours and still had a few hours before my dad got home. I know he said he would pick up some Chinese tonight, something about a game, to be honest I can't remember what he said. I took that time to go back down to see joke, where ever they were, they must be back by now. That could have been anyone in that car with that girl.

So for the second time today I was on my way down to La Push., but for some reason, I don't know what it was, I pulled over and parked near a curve just before reaching his house and started walking the rest of the way, before reaching his house, I heard a girls voice then laughter Feeling like a stalker spy, but not caring, I used the bushy, wooded area and when I reached an area with a thick brush, horizontal to their house, where I could see them but they couldn't see me, I stopped and watched.

Billy's truck was parked out front, Billy and two other men were on the porch, one a few years older then Jake the other around Billy's age but my eyes was riveted on Jake and the girl I saw earlier, they seemed to be talking excitededly. The younger one from the porch came down and said something to them, damn, I wished I could hear, then they all grinned and Jake pointed towards forks area, then looked into the girls eyes and smiled, the young man with them grinned and clapped Jake on the back.

I started feeling stupid, sitting there spying on Jake. What the hell is wrong with me? I shook my head at my behavior and was about to turn and leave when the girl threw herself in his arms and planted a kiss on his lips, at least I think it was his lips, my eyes went to his arms holding her to him, and for some reason I didn't move, I was just bent there numb, it wasn't until he let her go and the invasion of that other man pointing at Jake in a jokingly threatening way, was I able to move. I guess it really was Jake she was with earlier.

The funny thing is, I didn't even cry on the way home, the numbness stayed with me, I felt cold steel bars surrounded and locked my heart and cement blocks surround my soul.

My dad still wasn't home when I got there, mechanically I walked back in the house, upstairs and lay on my bed again. I didn't think, I still wasn't crying, still just numb. You could say, I just closed down. When thoughts of Jake and what I saw tried to invade my mind, I forced it back. Who knows how long I laid there, in my dead cold numbness, when I got up and stood at my window, plans of what I was going to do forming.

Lights flashed at the corner of eyes, waking me from this walking sleep, it was my dad. I didn't feel like talking about it with him, he would know as soon as he saw me, he would know something was wrong, but I didn't move fast enough, before I could move he was moving up the stairs. Did I even try to move? I quickly sat on my bed before he made his way to my room.

He knocked. I schooled my features. "Come in." I called as normal as I could.

He did and took one look in my face and looked worried. "Everything okay Bella? You don't look too well." Yeah, did I tell you I was a bad actress?

But I took that and ran with it. "Yeah, I'm not feeling very good, I was about to take a warm bath and get to bed."

He walked all the way in the room and put the back of his hand against my forehead. "You do feel a little warm. I think it would be best if you got an early night." He looked at me with concern. "Can I get you anything? Some tea?"

"No, thanks dad, I just really want to get some rest."

"okay." And turned to leave

I got an idea. "Dad?"

He turned back towards me. "I was thinking since school is out I would like to go spend a week or two with mom."

"Of course Bella, you know she has been dying to see you." He seemed to think for a minute. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just missing mom. I'll be coming back." Maybe, I thought to myself

"When did you want to go?" he asked

"I was thinking tomorrow."

He stared at me for a moment. "Okay, I'll see if I can get you on a plane tomorrow."

My dad wasn't stupid, he knew something was wrong, he probably thought it would be best I visited my mom. "Thanks dad."

"No problem Bella, get some rest." Just before he closed the door, he stopped again. "Did you want me to send Jake up when they get here?" He asked

Now I looked at him confused, noticing, he replied to my unvoiced question. "Remember I told you earlier that I would bring some Chinese food home, because the blacks are coming over to watch the game."

My heart squeezed at the sound of his name. "Sorry dad, I must have forgotten." I replied without showing the pain that name now caused me. "I'll probably be out cold dad, tell him I'll come see him tomorrow before I leave."

"He'll be disappointed, but I'll tell him." Yeah I bet he would, I thought angrily.

He then closed my door and I listened as he made his way to his room. When I heard his door , I collected everything I needed and walked into the bathroom, instead of taking a bath, I took a quick shower and dressed for bed, cleaning up my mess, I walked into my room, closing my door, instead of getting into bed, I walked back over to my window and stared out side again.

One way or the other, I will be leaving here tomorrow.

I was still standing there when Billy's truck pulled up. I watched as Jake got out, then walked around, and helped his dad, movement of the front seat pulled my eyes and I watched as the same girl got out of the back. I quickly stepped back, I knew they couldn't see me, but I felt exposed.

How could he bring her here? Angry words screamed through my head until I wanted to voice them loud. I angrily brushed away a stray tear, walked over to my night stand and took out the Excedrin PM, I now had a splitting headache, taking two, with the bottled water I keep by my bed, then slipped under the covers in my bed, marveling at how calm I was and not rushing down stairs, demanding they left.

I fell asleep to the murmuring of voices downstairs.

I did leave the next day, there was a cancellation on a 6pm flight to Florida, where my mom now lives. I didn't see Jake before I left, I went shopping with Angela, but packed my bags before I left and placed them by the front door. She had picked me up, I didn't even tell her what was wrong, but she knew something was, she didn't push, she just silently gave her support by just being there. In fact, I didn't tell my mom either.

I made sure I accidentally stayed out too late so he would have to pick me up from Angela's.

That was a little over two months ago as I said, now I'm back, I looked the same on the outside, but totally different inside. I was a fool to run, it was cowardly, but no more, no more doormat Bella, no heartache, no one will have the power to hurt me again, to make promises they never meant to keep.

"Bella, you ready to go?" my dad called from downstairs

Oh yeah, we're on our way to the blacks, Billy made him promise to bring me as soon as I got here, some kind of welcome home dinner. "I'm coming dad." I called back as I made my way out my room and down the stairs.

Welcome home dinner my ass. I grin to myself, this Bella is not the same Bella who left here a few months ago and she's coming to see you Jake and your little slut, if she is still around, unless you have moved on to another one. I thought to myself as we got into my dad's cruiser and was on our way.