The Tinkling Piano

Faster.

Faster.

Its the only way coach will let me run these days.

"Come on West! My elderly mother can run faster than that!"

This is me training for what could be the most important track meet of my life. I leave everyone in the dust of course as I race around the track. As I come around the bend I can see Coach, his arms folded and frowning. He isn't happy to say the least.

I'm by far the fastest person in my school, my neighborhood, and probably in the whole division and Coach knows it better than anyone else. He still pushes me to my limit and most times beyond that. I know it's only because he wants the best for me. I know that it's a good thing that someone in my life besides Shayera has high hopes for me. I know that there are few people who could have better opportunities than I do, but my sore muscles scream for a life with less opportunities.

Unfortunately, the bills piling up on the kitchen counter don't agree.

I'm already kicking it into high gear but a want to go just a little bit faster because I want to make coach proud. I want to earn all the nicknames the teachers and students have for me. Flash, the fastest man alive.

So I push myself harder. And harder. And harder. Until finally….

I trip.

I turn into a human tumble weed covered in dirt and filled with shame as the other runners all pass me. I scramble to my feet but it's already too late. They have all just passed the finish line by the time I get back up to a jog. I can't even look Coach in the face as I pass it myself, I'm sure he has the most disappointed look on his face though.

I go sit on the bench while he commends all the other runners and wallow in my own self pity. After he's finished with them he comes over and stands over me. I don't meet his gaze.

"Look at me son."

I slowly tilt my head up, expecting to see an angered face but when I look up he's got almost an expression of pity. It's very off putting.

"This Saturday will be the most important track meet of this schools history. One of the top track and field colleges in the country is coming to scout out you. We are talking full scholarship. Dorm, classes, the whole nine yards. And it's all for you Wally," he jabs a sausage-like first finger into my chest. "Because you are the best athlete this school has ever seen. You need to be at your best."

"I know Coach. I sorry that I choked. I just lost focus for a second. It won't happen again unless I'm eating dinner." I smirked a little at my little play on words. He didn't.

"You're darn right!" He started to look and sound a bit angry now. "You choked because you lost focus! Now tell me: what on earth could be so important that you forgot you were running and tripped on the air? And I swear to God West, if you tell me that you're having problems at home I will send you down to the guidance councilor and kick you off the team!"

OK fine, I won't tell the truth.

"Well, there's this girl in my homeroom…."

"Stop." He runs a hand over his face. Coach has a soft spot for guys on the team who are bit by the love bug. Time to use that to my advantage.

"Coach, I really love her though! I can't get her out of my head." I'm standing up now. "She's so beautiful! I know that she feels the same too!"

The way he's looking at me I can tell that he almost believes me. Time to crank it up to 100%.

"The way she says my name just makes me melt inside."

He sighs as he unfolds his arms and puts his hands on his hips. That's a tell-tale sign he's just tired of dealing with me during school hours. I've got him.

"Alright look, do what you need to do to get this through your system because come Saturday, you will do me and this school proud by giving us 110%. Do you understand?"

I stand at attention and salute. "Yes sir!"

"Good." That satisfied him. "Now go shower and get outta here."

I throw a thumbs up and run off to the showers. On the way I hear him grumble something about having to work with horny teenaged boys.

That little white lie just saved me I'm pretty sure cause I'm sure he wouldn't want to hear about my messed up life.

When I get back to our apartment, the first thing I see are the bills stacked up next to the stove. When they first started piling up next to the stove, I made the joke to Shayera that their placement was symbolic.

It was the first joke I made since they died.

Of course. I couldn't help but think of them when I walked into the living room too because of dads upright piano taking up most of the space. Of all the momentos and gifts and everything that our parents had bought us, the only thing we managed to hold on to was that piano.I'm kind of glad it was the only thing that we were able to keep of my parents. So much of our history was around it.

My parents met at this piano actually. My dad was working as a piano teach at the time and my mom was taking an interest in music. This was the piano he wrote his first of many love songs on for her. This was the piano he had proposed next to. This was the piano that my mom told my dad she was pregnant on. This was the piano that my sister banged on to no end. This was the piano that I learned to play piano on with my dad. This was the piano that my parents gave us "the talk "on.

I'm pretty sure that all the most important things in my life happened around that piano. It's kind of like a part of me now.

After going through that painful jaunt down memory lane, I head into the kitchen to find a snack before dinner. I open the fridge and find only milk, mayonnaise, some moldy cheese, and loaf of bread. I still don't get why Shayera puts the bread in the fridge, it doesn't seem logical to me but whatever. She pays the bills, or at least what we can so I don't make a stink about it.

I close the fridge and get some water instead and go sit at the piano. At first I'm just running my fingers over the keys without any purpose then I accidentally press down with a little more force and the sudden unexpected sound startles me a bit, but then I do it again. I still have no purpose until I press the g-sharp key.

That was the first key in one of the only compositions I know how to play. It's been so long since I've played this thing and the keys are a little out of tune but there's no mistaking that sound. There's no mistaking the way that specific key resonates.

I'm scared to start, but once I do it feels as if I never stopped playing it. I don't know the name of the piece or who composed it, but its the only song that I remember from when my dad taught me. When I was younger it was such a jovial song, but now as I play it it sounds so sad and melancholy. So filled with emotion and sorrow. I remember watching my dad play and just being so enthralled by his playing, by his smile. Except when he played this song.

When he played this song, he never smiled. He was so devoid of emotion, and as I play it now I wonder how he could do that. How he could play a song so beautiful with such a straight face.

I remember sitting on his lap as he played, my hands on top of his. Feeling like I was the one who stopped time in all those peoples hearts. I remember Shayera always watching his hands so she could copy them later, but never being able to.

There's a point nearing the beginning of the outro I can't remember how to play exactly so I stop.

"Please." I hear behind me. "Keep going, don't stop."

I don't need to turn around to know its my sister behind me. I hear the desperation in her voice. Its the same desperation that I feel as I play this piece. So I do what she says, I keep going. This time get so lost in it that I don't even notice her sit down until she starts clapping when I finish. I turn to her and smile.

I feel so emotionally and physically drained, more than any track meet or practice could make me.

"I miss them. So much." she says looking more crestfallen than I've seen her look in awhile. She almost never lets her emotion show through her shell so I try to make the most of the situation.

"I know." I turn around to face her. "I miss them too."

There's a long silence now and right before I say something, she shakes her head as if to shake away the thought. "How did practice go today?" Her shell is back up.

I rub the back of my neck. "Well, I didnt have the greatest day. Coach chewed me out today cause a had a little blunder."

She sighs. "Wally you have to do better. That's your only chance for a better life than this."

I don't know what to say. I feel like such a little kid when she talks like this to me. Must be an ingrained younger brother reflex or something.

"Its too late for me to do much with my life but you've got so much ahead of you. You have a future running. There will be money and fame and girls for you if you do this. You could have a normal life. A life where you don't have to go some nights without something to eat. A life where you could afford to have an expensive place, a great car, and a nice girl. You could settle down, buy a house, raise a family."

I didn't know how to tell her that I didn't want any of that without her. So I just smiled and looked away.

She smiled at that because she thought that we were on the same page.

I decided to change the subject. "How was your day at work?"

He smile faded. "Well, I didn't have that great of a day either. We were just really busy today and…." She kind of trailed off, most likely trying to figure out what she should tell me and what she should keep to herself.

"What?"

She gave me the smile she used after mom and dad passed and the court declared her my legal gaurdian. "Nothing just focus on your school work and on running track. I'll take care of everything else."

I wasn't very happy with that declaration but I didn't know how to argue with it. "Hey, what do you know about that song I was just playing? What did dad ever tell you about it.?"

She thought carefully for a moment then she spoke. "That song was the only song dad wrote that didn't have any words. He never named it but whenever I would ask him to play a song that was always the one that he chose. He told me a few different meanings for it. One time he said it was a sad song, another time he said it was a happy one, but most times he would say it didn't have a specific feeling to it. He would say that was up to the listener when he said that though."

That got me thinking. "I think I want to name it."

She laughed. "And what, pray tell, would you name it?"

"You see, that's why I named you Hawkgirl, cause you're always swoop in and attack me, every chance you get."

We both laughed at that one.

"Seriously though, I think I'm going to name it: The Tinkling Piano."

She howled with laughter. "I think that is a horrible name, why don't you play The Tinkling Piano again then, huh?" she said rolling her eyes.

"Certainly." I said with a smile. That night I played that beautiful song, the one my father wrote, for Shayera until she fell asleep on the couch.

Every single time though, every single time I could feel the entirety of every shred of emotion in each sound. I've never felt this way about anything ever before.