Waking Up

A/N: RTTE Season 4 spoilers! This picks up where the episode "Land Of the Midnight Sun" leaves off. It's just Astrid mulling things over a bit. Thanks for reading.

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Astrid awoke slowly. She blinked groggily and shivered as a chill ran down her arms leaving goose bumps behind. She noticed dirt first. Why did everything smell of dirt? She wrinkled her nose in confusion and disgust. She was lying on her belly, her head pillowed on her left arm. Her right hand was resting flat on the ground near her face, and it felt extra heavy. It was this thought and the dirt that was alarming enough to finally make her lift her head and figure out what was going on and where she was. She was met with near total darkness, except for a few streams of light that were pushing through cracks in a wooden door overhead.

There were also snores – a lot of snores. A loud, sonorous snore. A high-pitched, mouse peeping snore. A phlegm filled choking snore…Eew. A snore mixed intermittently with snorts and mumbles about maces, chickens, and possibly a boar. And did someone just…Yes, someone just smacked. Closest to her, though, was simple quiet deep breathing with an occasional sigh thrown in for good measure.

The little light illuminated what she had already begun to conclude: She was in a small, underground space sleeping with all the other dragon riders. Fishlegs and Heather were way off to her left lying about three feet from each other. Heather curled up on her side facing Fishlegs who was lying flat on his back, using a rock for a pillow. Snotlout was up in front of her, and for some unknown reason, he was snuggling a log. The twins were at the far right side of the hole, both curled into fetal positions back to back and clutching their helmets. It was hard to see, but Astrid was fairly certain that Tuffnut was petting his helmet and mumbling to it. That explained the commentary on weapons and livestock. Hiccup, however, was barely eighteen inches from her on her right.

Vague memories of the Riders together under the Dome floated through her head. Hiccup hadn't been there. She distinctly remembered him staying behind on Berk while he sent them back to the Edge to do…something…something mundane, she thought, but things were too fuzzy for her to remember for sure. There were several brief memories of herself feeling wildly happy and free and acting exceedingly foolish. Though, if these memories were anywhere near true, the other Riders hadn't been doing much better. She also wasn't sure how she had wound up in a hole with the others or when Hiccup had returned, but she had a feeling the dragons had something to do with it all. Not that she was complaining because, gods, she was still tired. How many days had they been up? How long had she been asleep? She had no answers, so she went back to observing the other Riders…Well, one in particular.

Hiccup was lying on his right side facing her. His left hand covered her right (So that was why her hand was heavy.), and she would swear that she could see a slight grin on his face. A thin stream of light fell directly on him. In the light, his hair glowed almost as red as his father's, and she could see the faintest outline of stubble on his jaw. Being the late bloomer that he was, he had only just begun to grow any kind of facial hair. Up until three months ago, his face had basically been as smooth as the day he was born. She had to admit that while Hiccup wore the smooth look well, she found that hint of stubble more than a little attractive. She would have no objections if he decided to keep a short-trimmed beard. Though, keeping her hands to herself might prove to be more than she was capable of. As it was, she already made excuses to keep his braids tight and smooth just so she could touch his hair. She wasn't sure if he had caught on yet, but he didn't stop her. Besides, it was only fair. He was always grabbing her hand or touching her shoulder or elbow.

Astrid could no longer resist. It was rare to have uninterrupted, unimpeded opportunities like this. She slowly, gently pulled her hand from under his and brought it up to brush her fingertips on his cheek and jaw. He sighed in his sleep and minutely moved his face further into her touch. The stiff bristles scraped across the pads of her fingers. It was more exhilarating than she had expected. The image of her grabbing that whiskered face and pulling it to her own in a fierce kiss whisked across her brain so fast it startled her, and she jerked her hand away from Hiccup who murmured against the loss of her touch. Whatever chill she had felt earlier was long gone now and a warm heady feeling of affection and something far more primal replaced it.

The little girlish crush she had on him had slowly grown and developed into something much bigger over the years, something she was still afraid to name. He also had grown and developed, not just physically either – though, he had certainly done that, too, and done it well. More so, he had grown in his leadership abilities and skills as a blacksmith and Dragon Rider. He was always searching and learning. He challenged his adversaries, such as Viggo, with a courage and steadfastness that was nothing short of inspiring. He was firm and resolute in his values and morals. His loyalty to his father, Berk, and the Riders could not be swayed. He was stubborn, sometimes to a fault, but he would always eventually see where he was wrong, if he was, and was the first to admit the failing. That humility was a rare trait among Vikings, even Astrid didn't possess it, at least, not to the degree that Hiccup did. She sometimes wondered how much of it was a natural part of him and how much was ingrained in him after years of being treated like the pariah of the village. It was a question best left unasked, in Astrid's opinion. The past had been put behind by all of them. It was the present and the future that needed their attention.

He was a puzzle. Her gaze traveled down taking in the whole of him from his fluffy hair to his specialized prosthetic. He was a beautiful long, lean, genius puzzle. Yep, she definitely needed more sleep.

Really, though, after his hesitance at starting a relationship when they were fifteen, she backed off on showing her affections so much. There was a lot happening, after all: Alvin, Dagur, even Hiccup just adjusting to his newfound role and respect in the village and his new leg. After his dad had gotten kidnapped, Stoick had decided that Hiccup needed formal lessons in being chief, and that started to take up a lot of his time. Not to mention, Astrid's own mother had decided that she needed formal lessons in being a wife. They had all still taken plenty of time for their explorations and adventures into the outer reaches of the Archipelago, but there were also new duties. Eventually, there was nothing else new to discover in their little corner of the world, and they all began to spend more time doing their own things, starting their own lives as adults in the village. Hiccup was frustrated with it all and hadn't come calling, so Astrid contented herself to wait and take back on that old goal of shield maiden in the meantime.

Then, they found the Dragon Eye. Suddenly, they were all back together as a team well beyond Berk but also right back to fighting against Dagur and then the hunters and Viggo. Hiccup became more and more preoccupied with his war against the Grimborns with each passing week. Even after all these years, the timing for forming a relationship just wasn't quite right, it seemed, but the desire was there in both of them, Astrid was sure. The close way he had held her after rescuing her from drowning or the desperation in his voice when she was sick with the Scourge of Odin told her how much he cared. She could hardly walk into a room without him raising his eyes to steal a glance at her. He was always aware of her, and she was always aware of him. She knew where he was and what he was doing nearly all the time. If she ever didn't know, it became her immediate goal to find out.

In all honesty, she had known this for some time, but his being captured by the bounty hunters and then only a few weeks later nearly drowning while trying to rescue the submaripper, had brought everything crashing back to the forefront of her mind. Waking up to Stoick's frantic search for his son, seeing Hiccup lying on the deck of that ship not breathing, were the most frightening times she had had since he had been captured by Alvin years before or in the aftermath of the Red Death. Something had to give soon. This war with Viggo was nearing its end; she could sense it. Viggo's attacks and tactics were getting more desperate, like the acts of a man obsessed and fearful, as opposed to his earlier calm, cool, and collected measures. It would all be over soon, but Astrid feared the cost. Hiccup had lost a leg and nearly his life ending one war. His father had been kidnapped and on the brink of execution in ending a second. What would be the cost of finishing this one?

She should act before it was too late, like Heather had once advised. Time is fleeting, and you never know when your time is over. Hiccup attracted trouble like flies to honey. She didn't think she could bear to keep her feelings at bay for much longer. She cared too much to turn back now. This was not just a crush. It was more, so much more.

Hiccup hummed and unconsciously reached his hand closer to her until his fingers touched her arm. He smiled in his sleep as he ran his hand down her arm to her hand. She rubbed her thumb over his as he settled his hand back over hers. Astrid smiled as she took in his peaceful face. He looked younger in his sleep, happy, relaxed. She would be fine to see this every day for the rest of her life, but for now, she would wait – just a bit longer. She would give him a chance to pursue her in his own time. He had never been one to do well when put on someone else's time table, anyhow. She would let him concentrate on his war, but she promised herself that she would say something before it was all over. She had to because waking up beside him, holding his hand as he slept, she wanted more of it, and Astrid was never one to fail at accomplishing her goals.

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Disclaimer: I do not own HTTYD.