Closer to the finale- need adjust the timings then should be ok to post

Part 2 To Be or Not to Be

Has been tough to write this. Still, if it's not perfect I'm committed to finishing what I started. Achieved my mini goal yeay!

When Fenris gets his bearings from the painkillers, he gingerly turns to face the doorway. What a relief that no more hammers are knocking around in his brain. It feels so stuffy that he pushes aside the blankets. Flexing his stiff muscles, his left foot has prickles from being in one position too long. No light. Hm?

A plump man in a white lab coat is talking to his dad, their voices a low murmur. They walk in together. His father is silver haired but still sprightly and a calming influence. Thank god mother is not here, or I'd have to take care of her now, he sighs. Mother has a fiery temper from her continental roots, and Fenris' brother inherits that. Hm doesn't seem that Blake came along. It hurts that his brother has not forgiven him yet, but he manages a weak smile. Father clasps his arm gently.

"It seems you had a more severe migraine this time round, my friend. You'll stay for observation. Hope you can eat something light at least, don't fret about anything. Take your time, you might feel nauseous…." The doctor drones on, more about reducing stress and sleeping more. All Fenris vaguely catches are the keywords and the soothing tone. Except for a pale haze shimmer around them, Fenris finds his sight is mostly back to normal. After a nap, the elf is much better.

"Dad, I would like to read. I will be alright." He shifts to sit up straighter, when he hears the rustle of pages.

His father hands him the leisure section of the papers. "Glad it's not too serious, but you should lie down as much as possible. Didn't you say this job is more balanced than the hellish one?" Yea he had loathed running round small kids, forcing them to do homework when they were more interested in playtime and gossip! Fenris chuckles.

"This one is fine. Ha, I got the horrible batch of kids then. I even took some time off last week" He can't digest all the words, but is content with the vibrant colours of objects in the ads and celebrities white-teeth smiles. The air is completely silent, just the whir of the airconditioner. Then his phone vibrates a few times, but dad takes it away, then comes back.

"Why worry about all these calls? Who is this V girl? Ahhh"

Fenris sighs at his father's suggestive grin. "A friend. She did say she wants to come. Please." He holds out his hand.

"I'm not in pain now, Dad. Have you eaten? Don't tell Mother yet."

"I can't promise that. Good thing I don't own a mobile, you kids these days are glued to screens. Don't be too long now." His father opens the paper again as he texts briefly.

Someone softly taps his shoulder. Fenris pushes the hand away and turns away from the light. A slight pinch on the crook of his arm, a needle thing. He rubs his eyes and moans. "Hello, you have a late visitor. He's much better, but don't take too long. Official visiting will end in twenty minutes." Fenris' acute hearing seems to be waterlogged, everything echoes.

His foggy vision makes out a seated figure and a standing one. Just now when he tried to go to the bathroom, he experienced vertigo and a killer headache. A man had to half carry him there. Absolutely humiliating. So he stays nuzzled in the pillows, warm and fluffy. However the aircon is quite chilling. He fumbles for the blankets.

"Who is it?" Sleepy, go away, his grumpy mind complains

"It's me. I promised to come, Fenris. How are you feeling?" the blurry bob shifts about, identifying herself as a new friend. But his mind is thrown with flashes – (when he's fighting)

how my sword dripped scarlet, and I gave a battle cry. When the last foe vanished, he sank his claws into a man in robes You're no longer my master! Then he punched and broke the man's neck. Stop, the shorter elf cried. She had the very same voice, but her eyes were green like his and she fell to her knees. Why was she here now?

Shaking his head temporarily, Fenris slowly opens his eyes but not really looking directly at her. Because he has to concentrate or the words will be lost to the winds. His soft voice gets emphatic as the mental- pictures show up, "You're really here? Not a dream? I didn't want to tell you yet, but maybe this- is a sign. I think I saw our past, because I was wearing armour. I had some kind of magic. Then after one old wizard died, you said something about giving me up, you had no choice. I feel like I'm going mad. Please don't come any nearer." He holds up both hands and averts his face from her.

( attribute his snappyness becos he got the visions again More of his pov,

Varania is stunned by how lanky he has become now, in the pale green hospital robe hooked to an IV. Fen's usual neat hair is disheveled and he's all confused and disoriented. Josephine had visited him earlier and said he was weak but not in pain. It is now dusk, while the staff are just clearing up the last meal trays.

"I won't be long. Just wanted to check if you're alright, Fenris." So we won't be talking calmly and bonding like in those doctor-patient dramas.

He seems to have fallen asleep as he breathes deeply, eyes closed. She can see the exquisite brands that snake up his lower arm,rune patterns or plants? "Wait who are you?" he asks snappishly.

She tells him her name again, wondering why he can't recognize her now. Only their breathing and the aircon whirring. He blinks and then a scowl, an expression foreign to her. "I met your dad. He's very friendly. " Maybe she should call the father to come back, so that it won't be so awkward now. Varania opens her handbag, a nervous reaction. The response the elf gives almost knocks her in the gut and she feels her knees weaken.

"You're really here? Not a dream? I didn't want to tell you yet, but it's too much if I don't. I think I saw our past, because I was wearing armour. I had some kind of magic. Then after one old wizard died, you said something about giving me up, you had no choice. I feel like I'm going mad. Please don't come any closer!" He tries to back up while propped against the pillows and his eyes are widened.

Without realizing it she manages to take one of his hands, feeling cold. Fenris is perspiring as if he has just been in the hot sun. Why is it like that? He shouldn't get so tensed up, it's bad for health.

"Could be a nightmare. Look, Fen,we did not meet before. Not until you knocked into me the first time. Shall I get the doctor? Lie down." Varania tries to get him to lie back but unsuccessful. She keeps her right hand gently patting his arm, feeling the markings' scars.

"No! It is true, I'm not mad. Are you doubting me?" The elf somehow reverses the grip and he's incredibly strong, not at all ill. There's an etch of absolute honesty and lucidity even though he's raving. He is now grasping her so tightly her skin is white. Thankfully his nails are short so they don't draw blood. "No no sorry I don't mean to. It hurts, can you let go? I'll be right here."

"We were related by blood! You called me Leto, said I freed you from being bonded. It was an inn!" He stubbornly holds on, glaring. The enchanting green pupils have become suspicious and hard. His teeth are gritted.

"Calm down. I'm ok and here. Take it easy. You're hurting me." It won't help if she is freaking out now, just need to buy time. She remembers that it's best to talk in a low voice to coax an agitated person. Never dreamt this would happen now. Varania looks around for the emergency bell. "Owww! Fenris, don't. Ok ok, I'm not leaving…."

He motions for her to sit beside him and he lets go slightly. "I was your brother, then. You believe me don't you? It was shocking, even though I can't see the person's face, the sensations, the blood was so real. There was a fight and I can't see my companions. But I fought this bad old guy who used me. You were to the side, in a yellow dress your hair was red. You were elven then, the energy it's the same… " He repeats these over and over again. The present girl has no choice but to listen. As he's speaking, he is lying back on the pillows and calming down gradually. Then his manic energy fades and Fenris' eyes close. He has passed out.

She feels for a pulse, it's quick, but he's ok. She presses the button. He's definitely hallucinating, must be sicker than we thought. Was that why he was afraid of me, the first time? Why would we be enemies? It can't be true.

She picks up her bag to go, barely registering the medic who comes in with equipment. She rubs at the bruise as she exits the ward. His father stops her. She nods, still reeling from what this lost disoriented Fenris has feverishly confessed. "I- I think he's going to sleep now. Sorry, I don't know why he felt upset."

The old man frowns but she doesn't wait for his response. Distantly she hears him tell her it's fine. It was a mistake to come, maybe he hates me. Why would he have those nightmares and tell me? Why me? He could have told some shrink!

The next time Fenris wakes up is to his mother's instructions to the nurse and she kisses his cheek. Her greying hair is in a bun, she holds him by the shoulders. "My boy are you in pain? They ought to feed you more." He assures her he's not. "When you're out, you should move back with us. We can't have you stay alone with that naughty unreliable mate." Fenris knows there's no out talking her. When she pauses for breath he asks if she can read to him. Mother beams, picks up a book that someone left there and recites to him about some exotic birds being found. The elf checks out everything from the pale curtains closing the sunlight off, and scratches at his wrist. It would be nice to take a shower but quite inconvenient with the saline drip.

"I remembered the moisturizer cream. Use it. "

So when she goes off for a meal, he notices the flower baskets and cards of wellwishes. Wow, I have no idea they are so worried about me when they barely listen to me half the time.

Several texts from Varric and people he didn't know he gave his number: we miss u! Well there goes my privacy.

Josephine: what u have a lost sister? But when did u find out? Hm long story, not sure how he can talk about it.

Yep, gd to see u yest. Just found out (fenris) Even Sebastien and Anders have given him small gifts. Fenris beams. Aw, they don't have to. It's the sentiment that counts. His eyes feel a bit wet, to his surprise. Then he manages to eat some of the bland food on the tray.

It's so quiet his ears have a whining sound. In between sleeping and waking visitors come by. There's something he needs to remember, but it is fleeting and out of reach. The urge to bathe and relieve himself take priority. Either his dad or the male aides help him over the next four days until he is free to go.

It's nostalgic to check out the room where they grew up, with the singers' posters. Blake gruffly tells him if he feels ill, to give a shout. Fenris sits on his bed, just in shorts. "Thank you. Can we talk?"

"Nothing to say. I'm different from you, I'll always be the rebel son. You're the shining star." Blake is in the doorway, back to him. Fenris would like to argue the point but the migraine might relapse. Perhaps they can talk later, for lunch. He settles down on the pillows. Before he completely sinks into deep sleep, he hears- 'best not to look at your cell, here are the meds' He's astonished to sense Blake's fingers rest on his knee.

Although Varania tries valiantly to let go of that incident, she has to vent her frustration on her laptop hitting the keys. It's not fair1 Are you guilting me? I DON'T CARE IF THAT WAS ME! It's nothing I can do! - have been some of her draft messages but she backed out of sending them. Backspace, delete. Certainly didn't want him to read that and get a relapse. After her fingers are throbbing from the abuse, she closes the laptop and some tears make their way to the surface.

I was really worried about him, why did it have to get fucked up?

On her next visit to the library two weeks later, Varania is concerned how she will freak out if she sees him. Josephine and Bethany are the staff on duty. When she was alone at lunchbreaks, they would join her. "Hello, is Fenris recovered? Did he sound-ah- strange?" She asks when they finish briefing some visitors.

"Not at all." Jo replies, looking at her questioningly. Yea, I forget this is a public area, but- I've to know. The waiting is killing me – she tries to stop twiddling her thumbs.

"Don't worry he's better, has moved back with his folks. It's kind of you." Bethany smiles.

"Oh. He sounds the same? Did he change?" She has to tell someone, or she'll explode! Beth notices how upset she looks and suggests they go outside and have tea.

"No he sounded fine and thanked us for our concern. Maybe he was not himself that day. Do you want me to ask?"

"No please don't. He could be discouraging my.. infatuations." She oddly thinks of seeing that word somewhere on an ad. Beth pats her shoulder. Varania begins telling her about the dark side of the elf. When she looks up, Beth has a neutral expression.

"Could be he has other issues. Fen has a habit of being polite and nice. I've known him for years. I'm sure he was in shock."

A few days later, Varania has all but forgotten about him, what with volunteer work with therapy dogs that Leliana begs her to go, having girltime, finally meeting her posh father at his new business place etc.

Until her phone pings a few texts. Some are from others, but his name is on the top, freshly sent today. Hi thanks. I'm ok now, hope life is fine for u.

What? That's it? She wants to demand an explanation about how he frightened her then. All her calm dissolves. Why did u tell me I died? The friends call her to go for a bunk meeting. She decides to leave the phone behind.

When Varania gets back, there are some missed calls from an unfamiliar number. She has got a reservation pending. It will be kept for 3 days. A few texts, with a trembling heart she clicks open Fenris' one. I don't rem, sorry. U alright?

I can't believe it, he's denying! Can he really forget such an outstanding thing? She snorts.

I could private message him, ingame but I don't want to feel crappy Whenever I log in and worry! So she types out roughly what happened, ending with 'I can't quite forget that. If u are well, I wanto settle this once for all. Need to meet asap'

Central Garden near the college

He pushes back his fringe and removes his shades. These days, Fenris wants to reduce direct sunlight glare which may trigger another migraine attack. Not sure if she is going to show up, after all her tone had been furious. His memory of that encounter was completely blank, but he believed her. The very first time he knocked into her and they picked up the books….. As Varania is thinking the same thing, looking on the ground and darting glances left to right. She spots him from the back. "You're here." For the first time she's unflustered and wearing the public mask.

He turns around and motions for her to sit.

"I didn't mean to scare you, V but the flashes kept happening. My clan believes very much in signs. It's alright if you remain angry with me. I was quite affected by those dreams, I remember telling Mother. Asking if I've a longlost sister. Regardless, I do want to make it up to you, somehow. " He can't quite look directly into her eyes, so he focuses on a strand of hair stuck to her forehead.

"Oh. Sounded like we had a really harsh past life. But we are who we are now, Fenris. I was shocked. See the bruise you gave me? " He's sad to see her hand. "You want to stop me from liking you?"

"No. You… like me? I know. These weeks the nightmares finally stopped. I am so sorry."

Varania can't be angry with such radiating sincerity. Looking away for a moment, there are some sparrows courting one another just above them. They're so noisy and cute.

"Yea. Besides that issue, I want to ask if you want to—give me a chance to make amends. To join our family." The elf has been so tense about how to propose it, but finally the burden is shifted. She does not know how to answer just that her cheeks redden.

"I wasn't thinking along those lines, Fenris. I want us to be more than friends. Are you seeing anyone at the moment?" Varania watches him raise one brow and the other.

He clears his throat, watching the wine glass.

"I'm flattered. Hehe, I did wonder why you would redden sometimes. Hasn't been easy with relationships. Well…. " His gaze unfocuses, those times of worrying fruitlessly about that unfaithful douchebag. Thankfully he didn't catch Hiv or Aids from him sleeping around. Fenris had not felt cherished at all.

All of that taxing conversation makes them hungry and the weather is heating up now. "Hm this café has nice cakes. Allow me." They stroll comfortably indoors.

That's quite unexpected, Fenris looks as if anyone will like him for being easygoing. I'm not surprised if he's gay! But sounds abrupt if I ask him right out.

Then they finish up their food in silence. After a while, he adds, "Oh yes, my mother kept asking when you can come over to try her cooking. And dad has met you, he is fine with it. She has always wanted a girl. I have a brother. He doesn't- come home much." She can hear his eagerness and his sadness emanating from the little revelation.

"I don't mind, in fact. I always wanted a big brother. They were idiots to break up with you. You're all right." Varania believes in her response, this time.

He chuckles. "I could've been too stubborn or idealistic. " Then they move on to their favourite topics.

"So, how about the new Dragon Age? I heard the multiplayer is bugged. How's the pain, are you fully recovered now?" She notices he eats quite slowly, wondering if it is an elven trait.

He rubs his chin. "Ah yes, I had to sleep more or my family would pester me. They unplugged me from the online realm. Not yet, I prefer to wait till they fix more of the problems. Is it good?" Talking about that makes it all casual once more. The waiter shows them the tab.

Varania hopes to get to know Fenris 'all over again' , though she had expected different results, this is not bad at all. How deep his green eyes are, the depths of a soul. "I have to go now. Have work tomorrow, need to prepare." His voice gently interrupts her. "I'm glad you came after all."

He keeps his wallet and seems to be waiting. Varania feels an internal stirring, not just love, but a new beginning. "Don't worry about all of that, ok? Sleep more, and eat more. "

He thanks her and they shake hands. As his figure recedes into the distance, his pale hair forming a magical effect, Varania daydreams of the moment when he can forget that burden and they can be more than friends!

She has not logged into The Lord of the Rings MMORPG since term tests have been ongoing. Time to reward myself and maybe wrap up that quest, want to join at least a level 20 party to do the rescue mission. While waiting for the servers to be less busy, Varania wonders when he may come in. There are no new invites, so she continues a sidequest that she can do on her own. Her character is a scarlet haired Icewitch level 15. While running about collecting items, Varania remembers oh she ought to allow the public to add her on friends list. Previously she had to block some nasties. She plays for about three hours until it's time for bed.

Over the next few nights, Varania only has a brief time to log in as there are projects piling up again. Isabela's sister shares the dorm with her and tends to hog the powerpoints for her personal devices. It's Friday night, no tests tomorrow so she wants to catch up with some single player DragonAge, or Skyrim. "Gina can you unplug one of these? I need it!" She calls out to the closed bathroom door. No response. Varania decides to risk unplugging it. Hm, is it likely that Fenris has sent me an invite yet? The wifi reception sucks, so she continues some DragonAge.

Gina's complaining is tuned out by her ecstatic cheer: Yay a new invite! From Elgarnon5: hi u are varania? It's me Fenris. Gina shakes her head "Are you crazy?"

"No I found my friend. Now shoo." Varania silently curses the slow loading servers. It's past 10, would there be a chance he is home now? With cold fingers, she types into the IM chatbox: Heyy u are here, me too! His nickname is green. Varania pans around to find him, but there are too many garishly dressed characters of all species and armors. She had randomly generated her name Cildis, and is a slim Wood elf maiden with an oak staff and long red hair.

U are home early today ?

It's a long time before she gets a ping back. Hi V yea not so busy. Ive not come here for long time Can't see how to find each other? She laughs and gives him a briefing. After a while, he shows up on her screen. Elgarnon5 is a hulking orc with staghorns and a masked face. Their characters look very humorous standing beside each other, with the backdrop of a Hobbit Town.

Varania laughs again.

Cildis90 : Lol u really choose to be an orc why?

Elgarnon5: yea I know not cute. Coz can wield dual weapons, many skills, strong. U look nice : )

Cildis90: thx. Hm do u want to go on quest or we just stay here?

Elgarnon5: u mind staying? I've to open door for roomie, he forget keys. Tell me what has change here. What new quests?

They chat for a good two hours, before she yawns. He is less shy online and elaborates more about the differences between the races from the books, movies and games. Varania in turn shares her deep fascination with Celtic myths and appreciates his special persona. In public, he is very patient because he has to be, whilst in reality and online, he can remove his mask and be bossy with people that annoy him.

Cildis90: u busy tmr? Its nice chat with u Fen! can I text u sometime?

A pause, his status is orange for idle. Elgarnon5: yea am sleepy. Tmr 2nd shift. Er prefer we chat here ok? Phone more for family calls.

Varania nods and answers: ok np. Look fw to meet again soon :p Sleep well

Never mind, I'm content enough that he tried to log in and added me. This is better than nothing. Before he disappears, he adds : not sure, think I come here after tmr. Take care.

'Thank you producers of online games, it's an awesome place to find and meet new friends yay' She closes her laptop and flops on her bed giddily.