i was surrounded by phonies

"The only thing that would be different would be you."

- J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye

"Dead," Jughead echoes her, somewhat dumbfounded.

Betty blinks, purses her lips, and looks to the side. The strawberry milkshake he doesn't recall bringing out is flat, the cherry on top beginning to sink down to the bottom. He's worked at Pop's long enough to know how what milkshakes look like when they're left out for a long time, sadly, so it's safe for him to assume that she's been here for at least an hour.

What surprises him more is that it's ten at night. He knows as a fact that Alice Cooper enforces a strict deadline at eight, unless Betty's doing wholesome things like organising charity fundraisers or studying for their upcoming OWLs. In fact, her dishevelled appearance is starting to disconcert him because the humans of Casa Cooper, on principle, do not overtly display physical imperfections.

Except Betty absolutely is.

"Cheryl-" Her voice breaks off as soon as she starts talking. He is patient - an acquired talent he'd obtained after becoming a waiter - and glances away when she blinks back tears. "Dilton found Cheryl a few hours ago at Sweetwater River. She was soaking wet, shivering on the rocks, and when the police arrived, she told them she'd gone rowing with Jason in the morning," Betty sighs. "The official story is that her glove fell into the water, and when Jason jumped in to retrieve it..."

"He drowned," Jughead finishes off. Betty nods in confirmation. His forehead creases. Jason's death-story seems as credible as pigs flying. He doesn't know Jason personally, because the Blossom twin-brother is a No-maj and spends next to no time in the magical community. But he's heard Cheryl boasting about 'Jay-Jay' in Ilvermorny corridors and can't help but wonder how the captain of Riverdale High's water polo team managed to drown in a river that was at low-tide a few hours ago.

And why didn't Cheryl use her magic to save her brother?

He holds his tongue when Betty exhales and sinks her head back into her hands, saving his speculations for another time.

"That's...unfortunate."

Jughead watches her ponytail disappear from his view as her head pops up again. "But you know what's really awful? His body."

His eyebrows shoot up. "What do you mean?"

"They've been combing the River ever since Dilton's Scouts found Cheryl, but Jason's body is missing," her tone rises, hands wildly gesturing around as she speaks, "It's like he completely vanished."

"No one just vanishes when they die," Jughead says critically. "If he really drowned in the Sweetwater River, then his body should have shown up by now. What reason could there possibly be-"

"Jug!" Pop's voice suddenly rings through the diner, cutting him off. "You mind taking the order?"

He swivels around, sees a woman in a thick fur coat making her way to the counter, and sends Betty an apologetic grimace. She smiles briefly in reply and waves him off, grabbing the milkshake with her other hand. "Sorry Betty," he sits up and makes his way to the customer, not bothering to and not seeing the point of fixing the crumpled state of his uniform when his shift ends in an hour. One hour left and he's free from work for another school term.

That thought alone cheers him up enough to speak to the woman with a forced smile and a robotic greeting. "Welcome to Pop's, what'll it be?"

"A gin and tonic," she replies without missing a beat, voice high-strung and high-pitched. "Or whatever it is you hobos drink to forget about your Loser-dom."

His face loses its faux-enthusiasm (which, he admits, was limited to begin with) when he realises that the Devil-incarnate itself is standing before him, flame-red hair slung limp over her shoulders.

"Always a pleasure," he replies dryly. "We have," he makes a clicking sound with his tongue, pretending to search the liquor cabinet, "Vodka for Alcoholic Teens, Whiskey for Ginger Trust-fund Babies, and my personal favourite: Blossom Heiress breaks the Law," Jughead pulls out a bottle of rum, then shakes his head somberly, "But no gin and tonic."

"No," she agrees, pearly-white teeth glistening from behind her lips, "But my brother just died, so I think I can get a free pass for today."

"Sorry for your loss, but no can do." Jughead, by all accounts, feels more sympathy for the rocks that get crushed under Cheryl Blossoms's heels than Cheryl herself. Hell, he doesn't even beat around the bush and do favours for Archie, whom he's known since birth, much less bend the law for Cheryl Blossom - dead brother or not.

But, apparently, Betty Cooper does. She practically comes running up to them, eyes twinkling like she's about to uncover a goldmine. "Jughead," she gives him a pointed look, "It's on me."

He clenches his jaw, makes sure the smirking Cheryl sees his stink-eye and takes Betty's proffered twenty-dollar note. Granted, he's underage too - turning sixteen this year - so he shouldn't even be allowed or be able to serve alcohol, but here he is. Serving it. "Thank you," he hears her whisper when he places the shot glasses on the counter.

Jughead shrugs, then slowly makes his way to the only booth that hasn't been cleaned yet, seizes Betty's half-finished smoothie with his left hand, and wipes the table down with a wet cloth. Hopefully, it's his last chore for the day. Hermione Lodge is replacing him in an hour when her graveyard shift starts, so he doesn't even need to lock up the diner or stack the chairs tonight.

As long as nothing too melodramatic happens for another forty minutes, he's well and truly done with work for the vacation. Done with the stupid travel-ban that Headmaster Weatherbee placed on him.

Granted, Jughead rarely travels during the summer vacations because he promised Jellybean he'd watch over FP (senior) for her. He does the bare minimum, has been doing so since FP started combining alcohol with Serpent business, but he tells JB that they're okay - that dad is working with Fred Andrews in construction, that he isn't using his magic to do bad things anymore. Lies, all lies.

Nothing good ever comes out of associating with the Serpents, especially not when it's in your blood. So he lies to avoid breaking Jellybean's heart. He tells her sugarcoated fairytales for her to think that her dad is a good man when he's really, really not. And in return for his lies, he sleeps on the streets at night, crashes in alleyways and showers in Riverdale High's bathrooms.

That's all going to change tomorrow, when he congregates at Archie's place to floo to Massachusetts. No more drunk father, deadbeat dad, lying Serpent, for another year - or at least until the next holiday.

And best of all, he thinks when he sees Betty consoling a sobbing Cheryl Blossom: no more dead men.

-misspandalily