AN: take a deep breath and dive on in kids

The pods were slightly too warm, and slightly too cold all at once. A familiar hum, inaudible from the outside, stirred him awake. The pod hissed open, and he fell out on shaky legs. It was dark, but there were shapes sitting all around that he realized were the other paladins, after a moment. It must have been the middle of the night, or as close as you can get in space. There were blankets scattered about, and draped over everyone. He was a little offended that they never had sleepovers like that when he was around. The room was chilly, and he sat down to save his bare feet from the cold floor. Everyone looked so calm. He wondered how long he was out. Everything ached, but in a good way. Like when you wake up after a really good nap in a really cramped position. Which was basically what happened.

His shoulder and side ached more than anything else, though. He didn't have to peek under the suit to know he had scars to match the large star shaped one on his back, and the numerous little healed over cuts that littered his body. Scars weren't as romantic as he used to think. They didn't really make you seem more handsome or daring. They just made you feel a little sad, like you lost something. He remembered being little, playing with his siblings, falling out of a tree, and getting stuck by a branch on the way down. It had only needed a few stitches, and everyone in class had thought it was cool, in a morbid sort of way that only little kids could understand. But from then on he was more vulnerable, more mortal, and he didn't climb trees often.

Scars weren't as bad as words though. He thought about the things he said, the things they said, however long ago that was. It feels like it was years ago. That would be funny, to have slept in the pod for years, keeping everyone waiting. If it wasn't for the light snoring, it would be like they had turned into statues. He suddenly felt very odd sitting there watching them sleep. Like he didn't belong to the little stone garden they made. Besides, he was starving. The pods always left you feeling drained, like you just donated to a blood drive. The thought of blood made him a little queasy as he stood up and left the room as quietly as he could.

He sat in the kitchen and ate until he felt better, though his cooking wasn't as good as his mother's, or Hunk's. He took a shower, hesitating in the mirror before tracing the scars with his eyes and fingertips.

He roams the castle, getting used to moving again. He wanted to be outside somewhere with fresh air and open skies. All he got, when he stared out the window, was a very small and lonely feeling.

He found his way back to the pod room and sat again. He thought of what to say to them in the morning. What would they say? He wanted to take back everything, leave it all unsaid. The only good thing to come out of it was the kiss from Keith, but he felt anxious about even that now. He didn't want them to know how weak he was, how weak he'd gotten. They were all so strong. He didn't want to come clean about everything. A very small part of him wished he had died. It was a terrible thing to feel. Because he wanted to live! He wanted to live so badly it hurt sometimes. But he thought about what he said to Shiro. He was nearly delirious from pain and blood loss sure, but was it true? Did he really think he didn't deserve to live as much as the rest of them? He watched their forms in the dark. Hunk and Pidge leaned against each other. What he said in the courtroom was true. They were geniuses. Pidge was older than her age, and Hunk was the nicest person he's ever met. They could probably build their way out of any shitty situation. Lance sometimes had trouble with the toaster. Coran and Allura were huddled together too, one blanket spread across their shoulders. Coran was goofy but in a good way, a way no one could ever get annoyed at. Plus, he was an expert in Altean engineering. Allura was strong, a diplomat, and she was leading a rebellion! Lance couldn't argue he was better than them. Keith was lying on his side, closer to the pod. For one, he was half-alien. That was just bonus cool points. He was also much better at hand-to-hand combat, his instincts were faster, he was the team's fighter. He had a shit taste in fashion though, so Lance gave himself one point. Then there was Shiro, leaning against a control panel, directly across from Lance. Shiro was their leader. Shiro was… capable. He knew how to compromise and come up with plans. He could fix problems. He could, well, lead.

He knew what Pidge said, back at the courtroom. He knew they all liked him, at least a little. But… Lance was just a boy from Cuba. Lance was just a kid. Lance talked too much, and got into trouble. He wasn't anything special, and he just wanted to go home.

He was burying his face in his knees, trying not to cry. To fully realize and admit to yourself how much you actually matter? That's difficult. And it hurt. It hurt so much, like a black hole in your chest. Sitting in the dark, surrounded by people better than you, knowing in your heart that the only thing you're good at was jumping in front of bullets. It was impossible not to cry.

So he does. Quietly. Alone. Heartbroken.

He woke up to a hand on his shoulder shaking him gently. Voices trembled with excitement, his name an echo through the room. He was cold, and sore from being curled up for so long. But Hunk was pulling him out of his shell into a standing hug. He held Lance like he might break, like he couldn't believe he was there. The others piled on, instantly surrounding him with warmth. A laugh bubbled out of him as his feet dangle above the ground, and he wiped sleep from his eyes.

"When did you wake up?"

"How do you feel?"

"Did you watch us sleep?"

The questions overlap. There was so much noise for only six people. The laughter faded away, and they set him back down again, looking expectantly.

"I woke up last night. How long was I out?" He scratched the back of his head, unable to meet their eyes.

"Six quintants" "About a week" Coran and Pidge answered at the same time.

"That long, huh? Sorry to keep you waiting." He laughed again, forced.

"You were shot twice Lance." Keith killed the smile Lance had plastered over his face. He stared at the ground.

"I mean…" He shrugged. "It's not like I wanted to get shot."

"Lance." Shiro spoke, and Lance looked up unconsciously. He felt like he was getting scolded, even though none of them sounded mad. They sounded confused, even… sad?

"Are you okay man?"

"You know you're important to us, right?"

Lance had intertwined his fingers, and squeezed so hard he couldn't feel anything else. He couldn't think of what to say. There was a bubble in his ribs that he held onto so tight, trying not to burst.

"I- I'm fine." It doesn't sound as reassuring as he was trying to make it sound. He can barely get the words out of his throat. He was not fine. Why the fuck would he be fine? But he couldn't do this. He couldn't-

"Lance…" Keith sounded so quiet. He took a step toward Lance. The bubble bursts.

He sank to his knees, covering his face. He blubbered apologies, wanting so badly for them to leave it alone, leave him alone. There was a moment of hesitation on their part. Then they were at his side again, warm hands on his shoulders, resting on his back, just holding him. He shook, feeling pathetic, and so relieved to let it all go at the same time. No one said anything. He cried until he felt like there's nothing left in him. Just hollow space. He wiped his face with his sleeve as he sat up. There was sniffling from everyone. He tried to speak, through hiccups.

"I just- You're all so much-"

"Stop saying that. You don't even know how much you mean to us, Lance." Shiro was crouched in front of him.

"B-but I don't even- I'm not good. A-at anything!"

"Lance, you've saved my life so many times I can't even count!" Pidge grabbed his arm, not roughly.

"And you're my best friend Lance." Hunk clapped his back. "I don't even know how I would have made it through the garrison without you, dude."

Allura stepped closer to the circle. "Despite myself, I must admit you also have quite a bit of charm." She made a face at him, and he laughed, small and shaky.

"You're the best shot, honestly."

"You have the deepest connection with your lion. Blue fucking loves you dude. You should see how she's been acting while you were out."

"I swear every alien we meet falls in love with you, whether you're trying or not."

The compliments and stories piled on, each with a nudge at his side or squeeze of his hand, until he was laughing, and the emotion was threatening to overflow again.

He swiped at his eyes, and swallowed a lump in his throat. "Thanks. I don't know, I mean- I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. We love you, Lance. We couldn't do anything without you."

"You're irreplaceable." Those were the words that really did make the tears spill over. But he laughed. The pit in his stomach had been replaced by that warm feeling. And then there was a hand on his cheek.

The kiss this time was softer, and he smiled against Keith's mouth. They pull away, breathless and beaming.

"You really should have told me sooner."

"Get a room!"

"Aww, lovebirds!" Pidge and Hunk teased them with smiles and stuck their tongues out.

And then Shiro rested a hand on Lance's head, ruffling his hair. Lance smiled at them all, feeling weightless for the first time in a long time.

"Thank you."

...

"Try not to get shot anymore."

"What happens with the Eb?"

Allura didn't hear him enter, but she doesn't jump at the sound of his voice.

"Hm? Oh, we already took care of that." She smiled, and he raised an eyebrow. "While you were out." She chuckled to herself quietly before continuing. It was all very matter-of-fact.

"The team was understandably quite upset when they got back, and so was I when they told me everything. I think furious would be the right word. So, I delivered an ultimatum."

"Jeez. Which was?"

"Surrender to negotiations or I'll send my Lions to sort it out." She said it with the regal, intimidating air of a queen, though her lips quirked up at the corner, and he could see the princess beneath.

"A very easy decision on their part."

"Yes, it was. I revised their entire government in a single afternoon. It's much less… perverse now."

"Impressive."

"Glurb, of course, could not be pardoned, but that's all over and done with."

"And Blip?" He'd been wondering about them since he woke up.

"Alive." She smiled at him, like she knew he'd been worried.

He hip-checked her, and she elbowed him in the ribs back. It was only a slight nudge, but he stumbled away, clutching his side over the scar, and hissed in pain. She threw her hands up.

"Oh- Oh my, are you okay, I'll go get Coran, I'm so sorry-" She paused when she saw his shoulders shaking. He started laughing outright. "Wha-"

"I'm fine, princess! The pods fixed me right up." She blinked, and he put up his hands up.

Suddenly she was pulling him into a headlock. And to his surprise, she was actually laughing too. He struggled against her grip halfheartedly, laughing too much to really protest. It reminded him of roughhousing with his siblings. After a moment, he went limp, dragging her down to the floor. She released him, and they collapsed into a fit of giggles. If anyone had come in, and asked them what was so funny, they wouldn't know what to say. They laughed at nothing, at the entire universe, at every absurd thing that had happened to them out here in the void of space. They laughed in the face of heartache. That's the one thing they had in common.

When they were finally breathless and quiet, they stared out the window at the stars. There were no more words. No more bad jokes and noogies. They just sat, for a long while. And then she kissed the top of his head, and left too.

He remembered the very small and lonely feeling he'd had earlier, looking out at these same stars. It was gone. Now? Now he felt…

Whole. Important. Full. Of love, of courage. Full of endless blue skies and sunbeams that threatened to burst from his chest. Full of hope. And yeah, he was still scared, still homesick as fuck. But none of it was going to crush him anymore. Because he was a boy from Cuba. And he was going to keep trying.

He's good at that.

AN: i hope you've enjoyed this ride, and if you have go check out my other works, because they are all lance angst B)
Also pls consider leavin a comment, it takes just a sec and it makes me so super happy to get them! Tell me your fav part or something! Have a nice day!