"Thanks again, guys, for yesterday," said Tony as he stood in the squad room. "Always good to know that we live up to the Criminal Investigative part of our name. And Agent Vance, nice work in interrogation."

Vance nodded in a stately manner but looked pleased at the compliment.

"It's been an eventful few weeks," said Tony. "You'll be glad to get back to San Diego."

"I guess," said Leon. "I've … enjoyed's not the right word but it's been interesting."

"That's a Chinese curse," said Gibbs.

The eyes of his co-workers swivelled to look at Gibbs in surprise: it was out of character for him to offer such a random comment.

"May you live in interesting times," said Gibbs defensively. "A Chinese curse."

"How do you know that?" asked Tony.

"Hey, I know stuff," protested Gibbs but he spoiled the effect by continuing in a thoughtful tone, "I think I read it in a fortune cookie."

"Actually, Jethro," said Ducky making one of his opportune entrances, "It is inaccurate to say that it is a Chinese curse. There appears to be no direct equivalent in Chinese. It seems …"

"Dr Mallard," said Leon, "Is there something we can do for you today?"

"What? Oh," said Ducky apparently unperturbed at having yet another anecdote interrupted, "It is what I can do for you, Leon. Or rather, for Jethro. I have come to check on his well-being after the assault yesterday."

"It was a bang on the head, not an assault," grumbled Gibbs.

"Nevertheless, it resulted in your having a concussion," said Ducky. "So come along with me and allow me to check your condition."

It was a sign of the effect of Gibbs' broken night that he got up and followed Ducky meekly enough.

Tony watched him go and then turned to Vance, "Agent Vance, we need to do your review later today. 10.00 OK with you?"

Vance nodded and began to assemble a heap of paperwork at which Kate and Tim looked in trepidation as they realised it might be reports on their work under their temporary lead.

"Um," said Kate, "Do we need to do any more work on the bank raid and attempted attack on Faith … Mrs DiNozzo?"

"No," said Vance, "It's not really our jurisdiction … apart from the attack on Mrs DiNozzo. Agent DiNozzo and I decided it would be best to hand it all over to Metro. The DiNozzos can just be witnesses rather than have any other active involvement."

"Do we think Steele was working on his own?" asked Tim.

"Don't know. Metro will certainly be looking closely at that. And how Steele knew where to go to find guns for hire … that's disturbing. There's nothing in his background that suggests previous criminal activity so how did he know how to find a shooter? But he might have been acting on his own initiative. Bit too eager to please," said Vance.

"What will happen to the guy in the bank? Griff … Griff Shackleton?" asked Kate.

"He probably won't be charged," said Tony. "He's given up Steele and I think he'll be able to prove it wasn't his fault. Steele manipulated him. I called the shelter, they'll try and look after him, get him back on the straight and narrow. Right, I have to get back to work. Agent Vance, I'll see you later."

NCISNCIS

"You did good work, Agent Vance," said Tony at the end of the review.

"Thank you," said Vance.

"Your TAD finishes today. When do you head back to San Diego?"

"Not for a few days. My wife is bringing the children down at the weekend and we're having a vacation here."

"Tell me, Leon, did your wife ever intend to bring the children here to stay?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, originally you said you wanted the TAD because your wife wanted to give the children the DC experience. But it seems that the real reason was you wanted to work the Grubecker case."

"Does it matter?" asked Vance.

"No, I guess not," said Tony sighing as he decided to abandon the attempt at becoming friends. "So, tell me what you thought of the team."

"I don't need to tell you about Gibbs, do I?" said Vance unbending enough to give a wry smile.

"No, that's OK. Gibbs is in a class of his own," said Tony.

"Although I think you may have mellowed him a little," said Vance.

"You do?" said Tony sceptically.

"Well, he was on my case about looking into Laine Grubecker. Actually seemed to want to do things by the book."

"Huh," said Tony feeling absurdly pleased at a small victory.

"Agent McGee seems a lot more confident than when I first encountered him," said Vance. "Needs seasoning, of course but he has potential and good instincts. And, of course, his computer skills are excellent. He's probably the agent of the future."

"Huh," said Tony again, feeling a little less pleased at this picture of a digital future.

"And Agent Todd … well, she's less confident than when I first saw her."

"Less confident?" said Tony in surprise.

"Perhaps confident is the wrong word," amended Vance, "Perhaps I should say not so overconfident. She's more ready to listen, to think before she jumps in. I think she's matured."

"Wouldn't let her hear you say that," said Tony. "But I'm glad to hear that."

"Another one who needs seasoning," said Vance. "I'd be pleased to have either of them on my team."

"And Gibbs? Would you be pleased to have him on your team?"

"Gibbs is all yours," said Vance firmly.

Tony laughed. He stood and held out his hand for Vance to shake. "Appreciate all that you've done. I think the team are taking you out for dinner tonight? Let me know if you and your family want to come visit Casa DiNozzo before you go. My wife and daughter will be pleased to take you to feed the ducks!"

NCISNCIS

Monday morning saw Tony back at his old desk. Jerome Craig was already halfway around the world on one of his trips and Director Morrow was in his old office.

"Campfire," announced Tony when his team had gathered. He noticed that none of them groaned and he realised that Leon had managed to iron out some of their unruliness but Tony suspected it would soon be back. "Agent Vance enjoyed working with you all," said Tony. He thought that was an accurate enough summary of what he had said and didn't require him to cross his fingers.

Kate and Tim looked pleased; Agent Vance was known as a stickler for protocol and high standards. Gibbs was unmoved.

"Agent Vance did suggest that some of you could do with a little seasoning," continued Tony.

"Salt and pepper?" suggested Gibbs.

Kate, Tim and Tony all stared at him and all three wondered if the blow to the head had had some sort of beneficial side effect.

"No," said Tony at last. "Not that type of seasoning. I think he meant a wider range of experience."

Kate and Tim looked wary. They suspected that it was they who had been earmarked for seasoning.

"And you're lucky," said Tony. "An opportunity has come up which I think fits the bill perfectly.

Tim and Kate looked even more suspicious.

"Agent Stanley Burley …"

Gibbs looked interested at this mention of the MCRT's first probationary agent, "Stan?"

"Yes, Stan. Agent Burley is currently Agent Afloat aboard the USS Seahawk."

"Yes …?" said Tim with a sinking feeling in his stomach as he began to feel nauseous at the very mention of a ship.

"He needs to have a three-month shore assignment," said Tony.

"Why?" demanded Kate.

Tony raised an eyebrow at her vehemence and realised that Vance's influence had already faded. He wondered if it was a record.

"Agent Burley's sister is five months pregnant. And it's been a difficult pregnancy. Her husband is stationed overseas; the plan was that he'd be deployed Stateside a month before she's due to give birth but his return has been put off."

"And this affects us how?" asked Kate in a milder tone.

"Stan's sister lives in DC. Stan wants a DC posting so he can stay with her during the last months of the pregnancy," said Tony.

"Awhh," said Kate in a quite different tone, "That's so cute … I mean, thoughtful."

"I still don't see how this affects us," said Tim. "Is he going to come on to our team?"

"In a way," said Tony. "He comes here for three months. And you and Kate each take a turn of six weeks as Agent Afloat in Stan's place."

"Agent Afloat!" said Kate and Tim in unison.

"Yes," said Tony firmly. "It will be good experience. Just like Agent Vance recommended."

"But afloat," said Tim. "That means at sea."

"You work for the Navy, Tim," said Gibbs briskly.

"I know … but …"

"All agents need to do it at some point," said Tony. "If they want to progress up the career ladder."

The look on Tim's face suggested that he was rapidly re-evaluating his NCIS ambitions.

"Isn't there another way?" asked Kate despondently. The look on her face suggested that she too was having doubts.

"Of course there's another way," said Tony. "I just thought you'd both be interested in helping out a fellow agent and gain invaluable experience at the same time." He adopted a hurt and disappointed look. Gibbs suppressed a grin at the way that Kate and Tim suddenly looked as if they'd just kicked a puppy.

"Well," said Kate.

"If you put it that way …" said Tim.

"Then of course …" said Kate.

"We'd be happy to do it," said Tim.

"You don't look happy," observed Gibbs.

Tony decided to ignore this unhelpful comment and turned to business. "OK, who wants to go first?"

"Ladies first?" suggested Tim hopefully.

"You don't expect me to conform to that outdated sexist stereotype, do you?" said Kate.

"I suppose not," said Tim gloomily. "OK, Boss. I guess I'll go first. Get it over and done with."

"It's not a punishment, Tim," said Tony firmly. Look upon it as an opportunity. Both of you."

"Yes, Boss," said Tim sadly.

"OK," said Tony. "Actually, the first assignment will be for seven weeks rather than six." He frowned as he heard something like a crow of delight from Kate. "The USS Seahawk will be spending those seven weeks on a goodwill tour of the Caribbean, visiting all the ports and islands."

"The Caribbean!" said Tim. "The water's not rough down there, is it?"

"Not usually," said Tony. "That's why so many ships go cruising there."

"Great!" said Tim. "The Caribbean! I've always wanted to go there."

"And the second part?" asked Kate. "The five weeks?"

"The Seahawk's going to be part of a joint exercise with the Norwegian Navy," said Tony.

"Norwegian?" said Kate as she pictured a host of handsome blond sailors.

"Norwegian," confirmed Tony. "In the Arctic Ocean."

"The Arctic Ocean?" said Kate.

"The Arctic Ocean," said Tony.

"But it's cold there," said Kate.

"I guess it is," said Tony innocently, "Being near the Arctic and all."

"Bet those outdated sexual stereotypes don't seem so bad now," commented Gibbs.

NCISNCIS

Tim lingered that night after Kate and Gibbs had left for the night.

"What, Tim?" asked Tony.

"About the Agent Afloat thing …"

"What about it?"

"I'm not so sure about the Caribbean …"

"You're not?" said Tony in surprise. "I thought it would suit you."

"I've been checking," said Tim, "And they do sometimes get rough seas."

"Not as often as in the Arctic," said Tony. "Man up, McQueasy."

"I guess … what did you just call me?" said Tim.

"Whoops," said Tony, "Did I say that out loud?" Tim nodded. "Well, you see," continued Tony a little shamefaced, "I have this terrible habit of giving nicknames and your name cries out for them. But it doesn't really go with being the Boss so I try to keep them inside. That one popped out."

"You have other nicknames for me?" asked Tim, not knowing the can of worms he was opening.

"Oh yes," said Tony with disturbing promptness. "There's McGeek, McGullible, McPutupon, McGenius …"

"Oh," said McGee. He had another thought, "Do you have nicknames for Kate too?"

A cunning look dawned on Tony's face, "Oh, McGreen, do I look gullible enough to fall for that one?"

McGee shook his head as he tried to rid it of the disturbing list of names. Tony took advantage of his perplexity to continue, "And really Tim, being out of the country those seven weeks will be good for you."

"I know," said Tim sadly, "You've already sold me on it being a good career move."

"There is that," acknowledged Tony, "But I was thinking about the timing. You know, that thing we've been talking to Legal about. It'll go public just as you leave on the Seahawk. Seems a good plan to me."

Comprehension dawned on Tim's face. "Yes, Boss. Of course, you're right, Boss. Thank you, Boss."

Tony shrugged modestly. "You're welcome, Tim." He valiantly squashed down a mcnickname.

NCISNCIS

Tony had a harassed look on his face when he got home on the first day of Stan being on TAD to his team.

"What's wrong?" asked Faith.

"Director Morrow's got another plan," complained Tony.

"What is it?"

"He likes the idea of the Assistant Director role," said Tony. "He thinks it was efficient."

"So?" asked Faith.

"He wants me to do it permanently," said Tony.

"And you don't want to?"

"It might be OK. I'd still work closely with the MCRT. Still work cases with them. Gibbs would step up as lead agent the times I wasn't working with them."

"Tom trusts Gibbs now?" queried Faith.

"Seems to. He worked with Leon Vance OK which is a good sign. It would take some working out but I liked having the variety of working with the other teams. That's not what's wrong."

"It isn't?" asked Faith.

"No, it's Stan."

"Stan?" asked Faith. "I know you had trouble with him when he was starting out but I thought that was all over now."

"Water under the bridge," agreed Tony, "To use a nautical term. No, to be fair, it's not Stan's fault."

"What isn't?"

"Kate's gone all gooey eyed over him. I think she's in love."

"Again? I thought it was all Maxwell in Legal?" said Faith.

"It was," said Tony, "But I think that's over now. One look at Stan and she was a goner."

"She's very … susceptible, isn't she?" said Faith.

"She certainly is," said Tony.

"And what about Stan? Does he reciprocate?"

"He got her six cups of coffee and three Danish today," said Tony. "So I'm guessing, yes. Interesting times ahead, my love."

"Your father called today."

"He did?" said Tony warily. "What does he want now?"

"He was … disappointed," said Faith.

"Story of my life," said Tony, "Senior being disappointed with me."

"Not with you, with me."

"Oh, well, that's different," said Tony more cheerfully, "What have you done?"

"Turned down a brilliant opportunity," said Faith. "Could have made my name in the field of property law."

"Did you tell him that the field of property law nearly got the whole DiNozzo family killed?" asked Tony in an interested tone.

"No, I decided to leave that part out," said Faith. "I just thanked him for the introduction and said I'd decided to stick to employment law."

"My wife the diplomat," said Tony.

"Your wife the employment lawyer," said Faith firmly.

"Hi Daddy," said Tilly coming into the room.

"Hello, baby. What you been doing today?"

"We fed the ducks some flapjack. They really liked it," said Tilly happily.

"And there was a new family there today," said Faith. "Tilly told them off for bringing bread."

"Oh," said Tony.

"It's OK," said Faith hastily, "Tilly shared the flapjack with them."

"And they've seen the error of their ways," said Tilly importantly.

"Good," said Tony barely managing to keep a straight face.

"Has Uncle Gee gone to sea?" asked Tilly sadly.

"Yes. He flew down to Aruba this morning. He says he'll send you lots of postcards," said Tony.

"Bedtime, Tilly," said Faith, "Go and clean your teeth. Daddy will come and tell you a story."

"I'll bring Jake with me," said Tony, "You can both have a story."

"OK," said Tilly, "And Floopy can come too."

"Floopy?" whispered Tony to Faith as his daughter left the room. "When did he make a comeback?"

"He reminds her of Tim," said Faith.

A few minutes later, Tony sat on Tilly's bed with his son in his arms.

"Once upon a time," he began, "There were some people who worked for the Navy Crook Finding Service. And they worked in a big and important city …"

"Like Washington?" asked Tilly.

"Yes, just like Washington. And they were very good at their jobs."

"Like you, Daddy?"

"Yes, like me."

"And like Uncle Gee?"

"Yes, like Uncle Gee."

"And Auntie Kate?"

"Yes, like Auntie Kate."

"And Uncle Gibbs?"

"Yes."

"And Ducky?"

"Yes."

"And like Auntie Abby."

"Yes … like of all us."

"That's good," said Tilly happily. "Go on, Daddy. Don't stop."

Tony managed to smile at this unfairness. "So one day all the people who worked for …"

"The Navy Crook Finding Service," finished Tilly.

"That's right, the Navy Crook Finding Service – they were all invited to a big party to say thank you for everything they'd done."

"That was nice," observed Tilly.

"Yes, it was."

"Who went?"

"There was the man in charge – he was called Oliver."

"Is he like Uncle Tom?"

"That's right."

"And Isaac. He was in charge of a big and important team."

"Like you, Daddy."

"Yes. And then there was Ben and Susanna. They worked for Isaac."

"Like Auntie Kate and Uncle Gee," said Tilly.

"And Leo …"

"Who's like Leo?"

"He's got a team of his own," said Tony, "You haven't met anyone like him."

"Oh," said Tilly with a yawn.

"And then there was Elijah, he was there too."

"Who's Elijah like?" asked Tilly. "Wait, I know, it's Uncle Gibbs."

"That's right. And Samuel was there. He was a doctor and looked after people if they got sick or hurt themselves."

"Like Ducky does," said Tilly sleepily. She snuggled down in the bed a little. "Go on, Daddy, don't stop."

"So they all went to the party. And Amelia who was good at science, she went as well. And it was a dark and stormy night. There was lots of thunder and lightning." Tony paused, expecting a comment from Tilly who didn't like thunder. There was no response so he continued, "And they'd all gone on to a balcony which looked over the harbour and suddenly there was a big flash of lightning. And it was so bright that they couldn't see anything for a long time."

"And then, when they could see again, they couldn't believe what they saw. So they rubbed their eyes and looked again. And they still couldn't believe it and rubbed them again and then they realised that they weren't rubbing their eyes with their hands …"

Tilly's eyes opened, "What were they rubbing their eyes with, Daddy?"

"With paws! The flash of lightning had turned them into dogs! Oliver was an Old English Sheepdog. Isaac was an Irish Setter, Ben was a Beagle, Leo was a Labrador, Samuel was a Scottish Terrier, Amelia was an Afghan hound, Susanna was a Spaniel – an American Water Spaniel and Elijah was …"

"A Lurcher," said Tilly.

"Yes, Elijah was a Lurcher. And they all looked at each other and barked. And they realised they could understand one another. 'This is marvellous', said Samuel. 'I can't use my computer with paws', said Ben anxiously. 'I can run real fast', said Elijah. 'So can I', said Isaac. 'And I love water', said Susanna. And they were all very happy. 'We'll be able to catch more crooks now', said Oliver. 'We'll be the Navy Canine Crook Finding Service', said Amelia. 'This will be so cool'. At that moment there was a beam of light from a lighthouse in the harbour and when it hit their eyes they were all turned back into humans again. And then …"

"What happened next?" asked Tilly.

"There was another flash of lightning and they all turned back into dogs again. And Samuel said, very wisely, 'I believe that, from now on, we will always be turned into dogs when we see lightning. And when another light hits us, we'll turn back into humans'."

"That's good, isn't it?" asked Tilly.

"Yes, it is," agreed Tony.

"But you won't turn into a dog, will you, Daddy?"

"No, sweetheart, I won't."

"Promise?"

"I promise. I'll always be Daddy for you."

"What happened next?" asked Tilly.

"You know what happens next," smiled Tony.

"And the dogs barked happily and ran off! Until the next time, they said," chorused Tilly and Tony.

"And Uncle Gee wrote it for me?" said Tilly.

"Of course he did," said Tony. "Look, here it is, on the front page of the book. To Matilda, who was the first to hear the Continuing Adventures of Elijah and the Navy Canine Crook Finding Service."

Tilly ran her finger over her name on the shiny book and then closed her eyes and went to sleep. Tony tucked Floopy under her arm, kissed her goodnight and crept out with Jacob.

Faith was waiting for them in the family room.

"You know," said Tony, "I think Legal are kinda sad that Tim's book has finally been published."

"Why?"

"They enjoyed reading the drafts and deciding whether it was all right for Tim to publish it."

"Tim was just being cautious, wasn't he? There was never any real doubt, was there?" asked Faith.

"I guess not. Although Kate was a bit sniffy originally."

"I miss Susanna being a Shih Tzu," mused Faith.

"Me too. But Kate said a Shih Tzu was an annoying little dog and there was no way she was going to be one."

"Tim is kinda like a Beagle, very eager and willing," said Faith.

"And Gibbs is definitely like a Lurcher," said Tony, "Great hunter and prone to running off after prey."

"And Ducky always thought you were like an Irish Setter," said Faith fondly.

"Yeah," said Tony, "But Isaac? McGee could have made me Indiana!"

"But Isaac means he laughs," said Faith. "And you do that."

"And he was father of Jacob," said Tony.

"And that's what matters," said Faith.

So they settled down for a quiet evening together - a rare quiet evening with no interruptions from either version of Tony's team.

AN: done at last! Thank you to everyone who has taken an interest in this story and particularly to the guest reviewers who I couldn't reply to in person. The characters have now been returned right-way-up to their boxes although I'm keeping hold of my original characters.

Perhaps i should mention that Ducky's theory about Tony being like an Irish Setter was referred to in the first story in this series - it was fun to return to that idea.