AN: Written for The Everlark Fic Exchange on Tumblr. Springtime Edition 2017.

Prompt 51: Postwar: isolated Katniss did not sit frozen in that quiet tomb of a house, suffocating! She ran madly into the woods. It's years before anyone sees her again. What's become of 12, Gale, Haymitch, mom...of Peeta? [submitted by 567inPanem]

I want to thank the wonderful xerxia31 for helping me with this one –believe me, this story is a LOT better because of her– and the always incredible akai-echo for making such a beautiful banner for me.

Why I Went to the Woods.

It's night when Katniss and Haymitch land on the green of the Victors' Village. Half of the houses have lights in the windows, including Haymitch's and hers. Not Peeta's.

Someone has built a fire in Katniss's kitchen. She sits in the rocker before it, clutching her mother's letter.

"Well, see you tomorrow," says Haymitch.

As the clinking of his bag of liquor bottles fades away, Katniss whispers, "I doubt it."

Katniss pulls an old shawl over her body and watches the flames. She sleeps.

She wakes with the sunrise the next morning. Shy winter sunlight floods the room making the walls glow.

Katniss gets up from the rocker and, with unsteady steps walks around the house. Nothing's changed.

The formal sitting room, with its opulent armchairs, thick drapes, and marble tabletops is just as unwelcoming as it ever was.

She can't believe she's back. Back in this house she never even wanted. Surrounded by all these objects her mother bought with her blood-stained earnings.

Her chest tightens at the thought of her mother. Her old anger bubbling up as she remembers that Mrs. Everdeen is starting a new life in District 4.

'She should be the one living here,' Katniss thinks, 'surrounded by fancy end tables and antique frames.' And still, she isn't. As far as Katniss knows, her mother has no intention of setting foot inside this house ever again.

A wave of sadness, cold and dark, grips her. She wraps her arms around her body and closes her eyes. It's a weak attempt to keep the loneliness at bay, and it's useless. All she feels is abandoned, bereft.

She takes a deep breath. The faint scent of a rose fills her lungs, its cloying perfume sticks to her throat, choking her.

Terrified, Katniss opens her eyes. Her whole body trembles as she looks around, trying to find the source of the smell. But the culprit is nowhere in sight.

She holds her breath, desperate to keep the evil from seeping into her. But it's too late, the seed of fear has been planted in her mind, and her despair is quickly making it grow. Her chest begins to burn, and she crumbles to the ground, defeated, trapped under an avalanche of memories from a happier life.

The sound of her sister's laughter. The warmth of her mother's embrace. Buttercup's indignant wails when he was locked outside the house during the night. The mouthwatering smell of freshly baked bread that seemed to fill every room whenever Peeta came by.

They all rush back, pressing in on her, suffocating her with the sorrow of knowing those precious moments are never coming back.

Katniss cries. Her gut-wrenching sobs bounce against the walls. She can feel them closing in on her, pressing their Capitol-made bricks against her frail body, magnifying the sound of her grief as they echo back her laments.

Somewhere, deep in her gut, her instinct for survival kicks in. Blinded by the tears in her eyes, Katniss stands up and stumbles along the long corridor which leads to the back of the house.

Swinging the door open, she steps onto the back porch and the biting winter breeze. She takes a few ragged breaths. Cold, fresh air fills her lungs, waking up her senses and numbing her pain away.

Looking up, she takes in her surroundings. The unkempt yard, the light dusting of snow covering the dry grass, the trees with dark naked branches that look like skeletons coming out of the frozen ground.

Warm tears sting her eyes. She feels small and lonely, as hollow as the empty walnut husks littering the ground.

The sound of a twig snapping catches her attention, and she turns to find a small mockingjay perched on top of a tree.

The bird looks at her, its black beady eyes holding onto hers for just an instant before turning away. A moment later, it spreads its wings and takes flight.

Katniss keeps her eyes on the small black bird as it circles the yard a couple of times before heading out to the woods and the line of green pine trees beyond the fence.

Her breath hitches when she notices the golden sunbeams that paint the sky sending sparks of color over the treetops and wrapping the world in a warm glow.

Tall firs sway under a gentle breeze, releasing the scent of fresh pine needles into the wind.

Closing her eyes, Katniss greedily breathes it all in. The familiar scent of damp wood and fresh moss wraps around her, blanketing her in the comfort only her woods can bring.

Suddenly, the longing in her heart turns into a plan. 'I could do it,' she thinks. 'Leave the district. Run off. Live in the woods. There's no one to stop me now.'

It takes a moment for the idea to sink in. But once it does, a sense of clarity and relief envelops her. After weeks of sorrow and uncertainty, she needs something to hang onto. And, for the first time in ages, this is a plan that feels right. Like something the old Katniss would do. Something she'd be good at.

She doesn't give herself the chance to second guess her plan, immediately turning on her heels and going back into the house. Her feet rush through the empty rooms while she busies her mind with the list of things she needs to take with her.

By the time she reaches her bedroom, she's winded and covered in sweat. The months of inactivity have clearly taken their toll on her body, but she refuses to give up.

She's barely crossed the doorway when the sickly-sweet scent of a dying rose tickles her nose once more. Alarmed, she turns to find a vase on top of her dresser.

One single rose, shriveled and fragile, but still holding on to the unnatural perfection cultivated in President Snow's greenhouse, stands among the dried flowers which fill the vase.

With newfound determination, Katniss grabs the vase and rushes back to the kitchen where she throws the flowers into the embers. They flare up. A burst of blue flame envelops the rose and devours it.

Katniss's heart swells, expanding in her chest as she relishes the sense of satisfaction and freedom which floods her as she witnesses President Snow's last threat going up in flames.

With the flowers gone, she goes back upstairs and straight into her bathroom.

Trembling fingers fight with the buttons and fastenings of the clothes she wears. She keeps going, leaving her crumpled garments in a pile on the floor and her fire-ravaged body bare to the world.

Her sensitive skin pebbles from the cold, and she goes in search of a new outfit.

Cotton underwear, worn trousers, and a soft flannel shirt caress her skin, bringing memories of long lost afternoons spent exploring the woods with Gale by her side.

Her throat constricts at the thought of Gale. Her partner. Her friend. The boy who always had her back. The soldier who ignored her pleas and arguments, and brought District 2 to its knees. The man who can't look her in the eye because he knows that, even if he didn't send the bombs himself, he's still responsible for her sister's death.

'Gale's gone,' she reminds herself with a sigh, 'I need to keep on moving.'

Silent feet carry her through the house as she inspects every room, opening drawers and doors as she looks for things she might need.

With shaky fingers, she opens the door to Prim's room.

Flowered wallpaper and pale blue curtains stare back at her, reminding her of the happy girl who decorated the space. Overwhelmed, Katniss freezes on the threshold, trying to fight back the waterfall of tears which threatens to swallow her in its depths.

From the bedside table, a small watercolor of Prim holding Buttercup catches her eye. She doesn't remember ever seeing it before but, even from a distance, she recognizes Peeta's hand behind each graceful brushstroke.

Silently, she crosses the room and grabs the simple wooden frame. Loving fingers trace the outline of Prim's features over the glass while her eyes absorb every line and swirl. He's captured Prim just as Katniss remembers her, happy and radiant, full of life, of possibility.

Fresh tears run down Katniss's cheeks as she thinks of Peeta finding the time to paint Prim's portrait before the Quarter Quell. He had been so focused on their training, so determined to save her life, that she had almost forgotten how much he liked to paint. How much he cared about the beauty of the world around him.

Suddenly, her pain and sorrow turn to a blinding rage that warms her veins and reminds her of everything she's lost. Her father, her sister, her childhood home, all the friends she's ever known…

Her fingers tighten their grip on the thin frame, turning her knuckles white as she wonders if it was worth it to fight against the odds, to survive starvation, two arenas, and a war when every single thing she's ever cared about has been tainted or destroyed.

"Why did I even bother?" she yells into the empty room.

The portrait she holds in her hands is all the answer she needs. For Prim. Because her sister filled everything she touched with light and joy and she deserved a chance to live in a better world. For Peeta. Who, for all she knows, is still trying to claw his way out of a dark pit of confusion by holding on to the few precious memories he's salvaged from the wreckage of his fractured mind.

A stab of longing pierces her heart. And, as the last traces of her anger seep out of her leaving her drained, she thinks that, just like her, Peeta's lost everything he once held dear. His entire family erased from the face of the earth just a few minutes after her rebellious arrow pierced the sky.

Against her better judgment, she looks at the painting in her hands and asks, "Where are you, Peeta?"

She doesn't want to care, she can't afford to worry about him when she's barely surviving herself. But the same stubborn determination which guided his hand and stopped her from killing herself tugs at her; pulling at her heart through some invisible string she can't seem to break. Because, even though she remembers calling him an ally, she knows he's much more than that.

Peeta is her friend, her light in the dark. The one person who's risked everything he is to keep her alive.

But he's also the man who holds the key to the most vulnerable part of her soul. In his arms, she's found comfort, tenderness, and an overwhelming need that thrills and terrifies her like nothing else ever has.

He's her saddest memory and her brightest moment under the sun.

He's loyalty, passion, and hope all rolled into one. And now that he's gone, she feels as lost as a ship stranded under a black starless sky.

In her dark exile, she tries to keep him close to her heart, to find his voice in her thoughts, to remember the way he inspired her, guided her, kept her safe before the hijacking took him away.

But she's weary and tired, and she doesn't have the energy to pretend anymore. So, it's there, standing in her sister's empty room, that Katniss accepts the fact that no part of the life she once knew will ever come back.

The Seam is gone. Her family is either dead or absent. And Peeta… Well, wherever Peeta is, she doesn't expect he'll ever want to come back to this place. Not after everything he's been through.

A part of her thinks that, maybe, if she hadn't allowed her stubbornness and fear to blind her, Peeta would still be by her side. But she can't change the past, and she can't erase the pain she's caused him.

'It's probably best for everyone to simply move on,' she decides.

The sound of the front door startles her. Clutching Prim's portrait tightly against her chest, she leaves the room and rushes to the landing to see who her visitor is.

Her eyes widen as Greasy Sae comes into view. "Sae? What are you doing here?"

Sae's gray eyes light up at the sight of Katniss perched on top of the stairs. A kind smile paints her lips. "I've come to make you breakfast," she states like it's the most logical thing in the world.

Katniss scowls. "Breakfast?" Noticing Sae's empty hands, she adds, "But, there's no food in the house."

Greasy Sae nods and begins walking to the kitchen. "I came by yesterday to restock your pantry. You have lots of canned goods now. I also left a few things in your icebox."

Intrigued, Katniss follows.

She reaches the kitchen and finds Sae pulling ingredients and cooking utensils from the fully stocked cupboards and placing them on the counter and the stove in front of her.

"We could have some bacon and eggs," Sae offers.

Katniss shrugs. She's not particularly hungry, but she knows she needs to put on some weight and recover her strength if she wants her plan to work. Without another word, she pulls out a chair and sits at the kitchen table while Greasy Sae works.

Breakfast is a quiet affair.

Leaving Prim's portrait on her lap, Katniss forces herself to eat the food in front of her. Each bite bringing her one step closer to the woods' sweet embrace.

After the food's gone and the dishes have been cleared away, Sae says, "I'll come back later to make you dinner."

Katniss stands up, clutching the frame in her hand. "Don't. I won't be here."

Sae's eyes narrow as she studies the slight girl in front of her and tries to make sense of her words. After a moment, she nods. "Don't forget to take your bow, child. It wouldn't do to be unprotected out there."

"I don't have a bow," Katniss grumbles.

Sae chuckles and turns to leave. She's almost out the door when she calls back, "Check down the hall!"

Intrigued by Greasy Sae's words, Katniss heads for the study. There's a box on the desk, her father's bows and a quiver of arrows lie next to it.

Cautiously, she walks into the room. The memory of President Snow drinking tea and talking about death haunts her, but she grits her teeth and pushes forward.

The contents of the box bring fresh tears to her eyes. Each item is a memory of the different bits and pieces that make her life. The hunting jacket her father wore with pride. The wedding picture of a young couple who loved each other without reservations. The plant book that helped her survive.

Two shiny objects, nestled in the bottom of the box, catch her eye; Peeta's locket and Haymitch's spile.

She has no love for either object, but she doesn't want to waste a perfectly good spile, and she can't bring herself to throw away Peeta's present, so she pockets them and carries everything else out of the room.

A couple of hours later, she's packed everything she can think of into a folding cart. She has canned food, some cooking utensils, clothes, a few tools, a comforter and some blankets, a waterproof tablecloth, a first aid kit, and an air mattress with a pump.

Her family's plant book and the frames with Prim's portrait and her parent's wedding photo are the last items to go into the cart.

It's too cold outside for her father's hunting jacket, so she stuffs it into her hunting bag.

Lastly, she slips into the protective gear Cinna designed for her. She's almost finished lacing up the water-resistant boots when one last thought pops into her mind. 'The money.'

Without undressing, she walks up the stairs and goes back into her mother's room. There, inside the closet, behind her mother's hanging clothes, she finds a small safe set into the wall. Her fingers dance over the keypad, punching the digits for her birth date.

There's a short beep, followed by the sound of moving cogs and the door pops open, revealing a large envelope stuffed full of banknotes. She reaches for it, clutching it in a tight fist. These are all her savings, all the money she accumulated in her year as a victor.

With Effie's help, she had emptied her bank account before the Quarter Quell and had given the money to her mother. She still remembers her sad blue eyes as she took the envelope from her, nodding while Katniss gave her instructions. "This is for you and Prim," she'd said, "keep it in the safe. If anything happens, take it with you. It won't last forever, but it'll help."

In the end, it hadn't mattered. Mrs. Everdeen and Prim had left the house in a hurry leaving the money behind. Worried about other things, Katniss had forgotten all about the fat envelope that was hidden behind the thick metal door. Until now.

She reaches the front door once more and shoves the money into the cart's side pocket. Next, she uses a length of rope to bind the bows and quiver to the cart and places her hunting bag on top of it.

She takes one last look around. There's nothing left for her there; nothing but dust, and ghosts, and pain. She needs to get going.

Katniss Everdeen stands tall as she opens the door and steps out into the cold March air with the shopping cart trailing behind. She's lost everything she ever cared about. She has nothing left. Maybe now, she'll finally be free.

XXXXX

Katniss reaches the line of trees that surround Victors' Village and keeps walking in a straight line, following the edge of the woods. It's slow going. She's weak and the shopping cart is heavy, but she's in no hurry. So, she pushes the cart ahead of her, leaning her weight on it and using it for support as she makes her escape.

She's almost reached the place where the tear in the fence used to be when she sees him.

Thom Whitaker is sitting on a tree stump. He holds a small carving knife on one hand and a small piece of wood in the other. He's looking at her, eyes wide and bright. It's like he's seen a ghost, an apparition, maybe.

Katniss stands still. She doesn't know Thom that well, he was in Gale's crew and she remembers seeing him in District 13, but she's never really talked to him. She wonders what he's doing here, back in the barren wasteland they used to call home.

Thom's eyes land on her shopping cart. Suddenly, he breaks the silence. "Headed for the lake?"

Katniss narrows her eyes. She's about to ask him how he knows about the lake when she remembers Gale took the refugees there during the bombing. Her chest tightens as she thinks that her haven may not be as safe and private anymore. Every single survivor in District 12 knows about it now.

'It doesn't matter,' she thinks, 'it's not like I have any other options anyway.'

Thom is still waiting for an answer, so she nods.

He smiles. It's friendly and kind, and it puts her at ease. A moment later, Thom stands up. Carefully, he folds the knife and puts it in his pocket. His hand wraps around the piece of wood he was working on.

"I come by here every day," he explains, "I like the way the trees smell, and it's quieter than the Village." Turning to the woods, he adds, "There's a hollow log behind that tree line. You can leave a note there for me if you ever need me to get you anything."

Katniss's eyes widen at Thom's unexpected offer. She hasn't really planned that far ahead, and she doesn't want to rely on others. But he looks like he genuinely wants to help her so, she nods. Her voice comes out ragged and rough. "Thanks."

Thom nods back, the warm smile still perched on his lips.

Katniss begins moving again. She turns the cart towards a narrow path that's partially hidden by the trees and resumes her pushing.

"Katniss," Thom says as she passes him by.

"Thom," she answers as she leaves.

The rest of her trip is slow and uneventful. Her weakened state forces her to take frequent breaks, but she doesn't mind. Every step she takes further into the forest makes her feel better. So, she stops, takes sips of tea from her thermos, and munches on the granola bars she's packed into her hunting bag.

It's almost dusk when she reaches her father's lake. The sight of the small cement building, outlined by a pale blue sky streaked with vibrant purples and bright pinks, brings tears to her eyes.

She's said goodbye to this place so many times, and yet, here she is once more. Bruised and battered, broken and burned, but alive, and desperately in need of a home.

XXXXX

She spends her first night sleeping on the floor with Cinna's clothes as her only cushion and protection from the cold. When she wakes, her whole body hurts. But, just like the day before, she ignores the pain and gets to work.

Using the pile of firewood and the poker Gale left behind, she builds a fire. Then, she uses her stick broom to clean around a little and covers the windows with the waterproof tablecloth. She sets up the inflatable mattress, covers it with the thick comforter she brought along, and fashions a pillow by bundling some sheets and stuffing them into a pillowcase.

When she's done, she slumps on the mattress and watches the fire dancing in the hearth.

Not much happens on her first few days in the cabin. Katniss is exhausted. The world around her is covered in snow.

She sleeps. She keeps the fire going. She eats the canned food she's brought along.

Bundled in Cinna's clothes, she leaves the cabin a few times each day. She uses a small pail to carry drinking water from the pump and visits the communal outhouse which stands a few yards away from the building where she sleeps.

The pain in her muscles recedes. Her strength gradually comes back.

One morning, Katniss decides to start exploring the woods once more. She carries a bow everywhere she goes, but she doesn't use it just yet. Instead, she sets up snares and traps for the game she knows will eventually come back.

In time, she notices the first signs of spring. Like the dark slush turning into soft grass, or the flap of new wings up in the sky.

She's been living in the cabin for a couple of weeks when her food supplies begin to run low. Spring is definitely in the air, but it's still too early to hunt or gather much.

After spending a couple of days berating herself for playing fast and loose with her supplies on those first days when she didn't ration what she ate, Katniss comes to terms with the fact that she's going to have to make some adjustments to her plan.

She's reluctant to involve Thom. Even if his offer was sincere, he's practically a stranger, and she doesn't know if he can be trusted to keep the world away. But she doesn't have any other options. And the fact that no one has come around looking for her tells her that he's kept her secret so far. So, she decides to reach out to him.

Katniss writes a note and a list of things she needs and stuffs it inside a clean empty can. After adding some money to the can, she walks back to the edge of town and drops her message on the spot Thom indicated.

She waits a couple of days before going back to the hollow log. She doesn't really know what to expect, but she drags her empty shopping cart along with her in the hope that Thom's kept to his word.

As soon as she reaches the line of trees, she knows that he has. The package he's left for her is too big to fit into the tree's cavity. Even from a distance, she can see it peeking out from under the branches he's used to camouflage it.

Relieved, Katniss smiles. Maybe she'll be able to do this after all.

With the parcel safely stored inside her cart, Katniss goes back to the lake.

That night, she unpacks the bundle, carefully smoothing out the kraft paper Thom used to wrap it in.

As she spreads out the contents of her parcel, she's surprised to discover Thom's given her everything she asked for and a few things more. He's also included a small note.

Katniss,

From what I remember, the cabin was bare. I took the liberty of adding a few extra items to your package, I hope you don't mind.

I figured the outdoor lifestyle catalogs could give you some ideas for furnishings. If you find something you like, just let me know, and I'll get it for you.

The radio is for you to stay on top of weather alerts and any other news. It's powered by a solar battery, and you only need to charge it about once a month. It also works as a two-way radio. If you press the message button and dial 236 you can leave a message for me. That way you won't need to make the trek back here every time you need something.

You don't need to pay me for my services. But, I'll be glad to accept your offer of fresh game when you have some to spare.

Please, don't hesitate to call whenever you need anything. I'll always be happy to help.

Sincerely,

Thom.

Katniss reaches for the radio. It isn't big, but it feels heavy in her hand; like an anchor that keeps her from floating away and straying too far from the civilized world.

She considers leaving it inside its box and ignoring it. But a small voice in the back of her mind tells her that's not a good idea. Thom's right, weather forecasts are useful, and having easy access to him will also simplify their arrangement. Carefully, she unpacks the small device and leaves it by the window where she knows the battery will start charging as soon as the sun comes up.

Next, Katniss flips through the pages of the catalogs Thom's sent her. A small smile curves her lips at the sight of all the different types of camping gear contained in their glossy pages.

'Maybe contacting Thom wasn't such a bad idea after all,' she thinks.

XXXXX

Almost overnight, the world comes back to life. Katniss watches in wonder as the woods turn green.

Dandelion sprigs sprout everywhere she looks. The sight of their sturdy green stems pierces her heart.

Their message of resilience and hope bring Peeta to her mind, reminding her that she managed to survive loss once before. But she can't think about that for long. Her pain is too fresh. She's not ready to face the thought of life and rebirth in a world without Prim. Sometimes she wonders if she'll ever be.

She tries not to think about the world on the other side of the old fence too much. And her mind usually flits back to Peeta when she does. She wonders where he is, what he's doing… Does he hate her still?

She considers reaching out to him sometimes. Leaving a letter in the empty tree trunk and asking Thom to give it to Haymitch. She's sure her old mentor knows where Peeta is. But the memory of all the pain they endured together stops her, keeping her rooted to the one place where she feels safe.

'I'm doing fine on my own,' she reasons. Deep inside, she hopes that, wherever Peeta is, he can say the same.

XXXXX

AN: I love reviews as much as Katniss loves watching a sunset with Peeta by her side. You always make my day when you share them with me. Thanks!

You can also find me on tumblr. I'm javistg over there, come and say hi!

The Hunger Games Trilogy is property of Suzanne Collins. No money was made off of the creation of this fanwork.