Author's Note: I'm new to writing for this fandom, so please review and let me know how I'm doing with the character "voices". I've found that if my dialogue is off, it's much easier for me to adjust it in the first few fics rather than after I've learned bad habits.

PROLOGUE

"Alright, Carl," Monogram grumbled, stepping into the O.W.C.A. nursery, "What is it you wanted to show me?"

"Just a moment, sir," the intern replied as he fiddled with a microwave, "It's feeding time and I need to make sure I have the milk at the right temperature."

After a long and successful career of nearly ten years, their top field agent Barry the Beaver had resigned following the death of his nemesis, Dr. Dementorius. While the death of the evil scientist had afforded them a few years of relative peace and quiet, it had also left something of a power vacuum. Recent intelligence had informed them that a new player was on the scene, some mad scientist by the name of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. He hadn't yet made any major moves, but judging by the amount of supplies and equipment being funneled into his new building, it was clear that a villainous base of operations would soon be functional.

"We don't have time for this. Have you called C.O.W.C.A. back yet?" Major Mongram asked.

"Yes, sir," Carl replied, "They still don't have any spare beaver kits. The good news is, I was able to source a semi-aquatic mammal more locally!" He reached into the bottom of one of the nursery cages, and pulled out a tiny bundle of teal fur.

"Carl, what the hell is that?"

"It's a platypus, sir" he responded, dipping a small paintbrush into the container of warm milk, then holding it up to the tiny creature, "His bill can't form a seal around the bottle, but he's been doing well with the paintbrush!"

The tiny platypus eagerly ate, seemingly oblivious to Major Monogram's presence.

The Major scowled, "Well, we DO need a replacement semi-aquatic agent on hand, the sooner the better. Barry could hold his breath for 15 minutes straight if he needed to. Can a platypus match that?"

"Well… no," Carl admitted, "A platypus can only hold its breath under water for a minute or two. They're strong, active swimmers, though!"

"What about his teeth? Agent B's teeth had enamel like iron, and he could chew his way out of almost any situation."

"Er, platypuses don't actually HAVE teeth, either, just grinding plates. But they make up for it! They have sensitive electro-receptors in their bills, and males like this little guy have venomous spurs on their hind legs!"

Monogram peered at the small creature, which was no bigger than Carl's palm. The infant animal stared back at him with an empty, vacant expression. He suspected that even with all the best training O.W.C.A. had to offer, this new "recruit" wasn't going to do much.