Whine No More
Folc4evernaday | Rated: M | Chapter 1
Every moment from the time Clark Kent had asked Lois Lane out on a date a few months back to now he felt like the world was against him. After confessing his love for her in a desperate attempt to stop her from marrying Lex Luthor then taking back his confession things had been fragile between them. Slowly they had grown closer and closer over the last year. So much so that she had turned to him, Clark, not his alter-ego when she was in fear of her life from Griffin. Then after almost losing everything when he'd had to fake his death before finding a way to return he decided to put himself out there again. This time he promised he would take things slow.
"Lois, I want you to go out with me!"
"What? You're asking me out?"
"Yeah, you know... like on a date?"
"A date? You mean a real date? Like where I take out my best perfume, the one I bought after seeing 'Love Affair', the good one not the remake, and put a dab behind my knee, and I don't know why?"
"Yeah..." "I... I don't know what to say."
"Well, most people either pick yes or no."
"It's not that easy. I mean it's easy for you because you've already had time to think about it. You've had a chance to plan what you wanted to say... and what you'd say depending on what I'd say back... and..."
"Lois... I'm asking you out, not to negotiate a nuclear arms treaty." "Oh, right, the date thing…What about Mayson?"
"Well, the guy's only got two tickets."
"Clark…"
"Lois, I'm asking you out," ""I mean, we work together. What happens if... you know... it bombs?"
"We'll always be friends."
After his first attempt at a date had been called off thanks to Lex Luthor returning from the dead they'd turned their stakeout into an 'almost first date' which had ended with Lois on the couch with food poisoning. It had started out great…well aside from him having to burn the lightbulb to distract her from the cold champagne. After that night, she began looking at him differently. He'd left the ball in her court hoping that giving her the control would help relieve some of the tension in the air between them. For almost a month they'd been dancing around one another until finally, they'd set a date. Well, he suspected she'd set the date as a reaction to Mayson, but at the time he wasn't going to argue.
"Why don't you just say what you feel? Unless you have something to hide?"
"I guess... people... say things sometimes because they're afraid of being direct."
"Why? What's the worst that could happen?" "When you think about it, the only time people really express themselves is when they're passionate and the polite veneer of society drops away... like when they fight..."
"Or make love." "But everything seemed to just...'work'. That's why I can never see you again."
"Lois?"
He hadn't known what to do after the door had slammed in his face that night. He'd tried everything to get her to talk to him the next day, but she'd done everything to avoid him, including forcing him on a lunch date with Mayson. It had taken a nuclear disaster – literally! – to get her to talk to him. Then finally they'd shared their first REAL kiss. It had been amazing…
"Lois, this isn't the best time, but I've always wanted to tell you something..."
"I like you too, Clark. I'm sorry what I did on our date." "Lois, I really don't know how to say this, but... why did you come back for me at the factory tonight? I mean, you were running back into an atomic explosion."
"It doesn't make sense, does it? I just knew... I couldn't leave you."
"You slammed the door in my face last night."
"That was a... mistake."
"Don't let it happen again….Fortunately, there're no doors now."
"Fortunately…"
Unfortunately, at that very moment, Mayson had triggered a car bomb, and he had been too late to save her. Too late. His guilt had eaten him away during those weeks after Mayson's death. He spent the next few weeks trying to make up for the life he'd lost by over extending himself and burying himself in his Superman duties. He hadn't realized it at the time, but in his grief, he'd been pushing Lois away until it was almost too late.
"The last thing she said was 'Resurrection.' What was she trying to tell me?"
"Maybe you'd like a few minutes alone... to say good-bye." " I need to know...if I'm yesterday's news?"
"What?"
"You know. Stale, old. It's been over a week since our first date... and... our first kiss. And... you haven't said a word about it. It's like... it never happened."
"Lois, I'm sorry if It feels like I've been ignoring you lately, but..."
He'd had every intention of reassuring her and picking things up where they'd left off, but everything seemed to be working against him. Namely, Agent Scardino who had no respect for his relationship with Lois. He'd tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but it had hurt…finding him at her apartment like that. Seeing the way she looked at him…it hurt. He'd spent two years trying to break through the barriers she'd set up around herself and get her to agree to go out with him. Scardino had been there two minutes and already had wormed his way into their lives. He was jealous. She was giving a stranger more of a chance than she'd ever given him, her partner, her friend.
"Agent Scardino just dropped by to uh... chat about the case."
"It must have been some chat for you to need a shower." "Looks like you've got some choices to make…"
Every call for help he answered was pulling them further and further apart. So far apart Lois had pulled away from him and begun seeing DEA Agent Dan Scardino. After his encounter with the red kryptonite and the couch sessions with Dr. Friskin, he realized if he didn't do something soon he was going to lose Lois.
Here it goes. Take the plunge. Clark watched Lois as he spoke, "I realize that instead of dancing around my feelings for you," Her defenses were slowly coming down. He could see her look at him from the corner of her eye as he spoke, " I have to deal with them head on and verbalize my emotions... " No more taking things slow. No more hiding. "and your going out with Dan DOES upset me." There he'd said it. He'd put himself out there. He prepared himself for the worst. For the last two days, he'd been shut down over and over on his attempts to repair their relationship.
Lois gave him a tender look, "I…I don't know what to say."
He took a step closer to her, "Say you'll go out with me tonight and I promise you I will NOT disappear." Superman was taking the night off. Metropolis survived one night without him before. They could do it again. This was more important. He looked at her expectantly, uncertain what her answer would be.
"Clark, I'm sorry. I just don't feel that way about you…"
His mind flashed back to the last time he'd put himself completely on the line with her and did his best to squash the inner doubt that was screaming at him to stop. Lois moved a little closer to him, giving him a small smile, "Okay. You can pick me up at seven."
His face broke out into a huge smile as she moved closer, "Okay,"
He nodded his agreement, unable to trust his voice to speak any more, " But you have to promise you won't disappear." She moved closer, sliding her hands against his chest, "And you'll be there at seven…" She moved closer to him, and he grinned. He was on top of the world. If he wasn't afraid of breaking the moment he would kiss her. His smile grew broader as she moved closer and moved her hand teasingly up his shoulder, "and 7:01….."
She linked her arms around his neck, and he nodded with a broad smile, "7:02….." She moved closer to him, keeping her arms around his neck as she whispered, "7:03…." He bit his lower lip, trying to suppress a groan as she stepped closer to him, "7:04….."
He really wanted to kiss her, but here in the middle of the Daily Planet was not the place. She leaned in closer, so their eyes were locked and whispered, "7:05…" Then ever so lightly she pressed her lips against his. All too soon she pulled away and began to gather her things, "I, um, I'll see you tonight," She murmured before heading for the elevator. He could tell from the blush on her cheeks and her heightened heart rate that she was just as affected by their embrace.
"Whoa…" Clark breathed watching as Lois ascended the steps to the elevator. His head was in a daze as he took a seat at his desk, watching as Lois stepped onto the elevator.
"You have to promise you won't disappear,"
Lois' words echoed through his mind as he contemplated where he was going to take her tonight. He would not disappear. He would not give Lois a reason to give up on him.
"Oh, God," Lois grimaced as she leaned back against the elevator doors, looking around at the empty elevator car. "I just kissed Clark in the middle of the newsroom. What is wrong with me?" She hung her face in her palms. "Calm down, Lois. Maybe no one noticed."
'Yeah right,'
"You just got caught up in the moment and…Oh, God," She glanced at the time. "I've got two hours before I have to see him again." She did her best to regain her composure. What was happening to her? How was it that she had become weak in the knees by Clark Kent?
'You're in love with him,'
"Don't go there," She chastised herself.
'That's why you slammed the door in his face. You knew if you didn't you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from…'
"Bad…bad thoughts," She muttered to herself as the doors to the elevator opened and she arrived in the lobby. Think about something else. Anything else.
"Your going out with Dan DOES upset me."
No definitely not helping.
"If that's what you want Lois then fine get in bed with the devil!" "I have been in love with you for a long time…you had to have known." "Lois Lane…Kent…" "I want you to go out with me!" "What happens if... you know... it bombs?"
"We'll always be friends."
Friends. He'd promised they'd always be friends but here lately they'd been anything but.
'And whose fault is that?'
"The last thing she said was 'Resurrection.' What was she trying to tell me?"
"Maybe you'd like a few minutes alone... to say good-bye." " I need to know... if I'm yesterday's news?"
"What?"
"You know. Stale, old. It's been over a week since our first date... and... our first kiss. And... you haven't said a word about it. It's like... it never happened."
"Lois, I'm sorry if It feels like I've been ignoring you lately, but..."
They'd been stuck in limbo after Mayson's murder. She had tried to be patient and understanding but not knowing what to do or how to act was just about killing her so she had taken the plunge and asked him if she was 'yesterday's news.' Immediately after the words were out of her mouth she regretted them. Then when Clark seemed to realize where she was going with her train of thought he seemed to try and open up and talk to her but they'd gotten interrupted…AGAIN. Dan with his impeccable timing as always had shown up and their conversation was left forgotten.
"Agent Scardino just dropped by to uh... chat about the case."
"It must have been some chat for you to need a shower."
The look on Clark's face that night had just about broken her in two. Another example of bad timing on Dan's part. It had mildly ticked her off at the time that he hadn't helped to reassure Clark that he had the wrong idea before Clark walked away.
"Looks like you've got some choices to make…"It was a simple statement and she knew Clark was talking about the movie choices but at the time she wasn't sure if he had overheard Dan asking her out.
"Don't tell me, Agent Scardino's on a stakeout in a florist's shop."
"Jealousy is so unbecoming, don't you think?"
"I wouldn't exactly call it jealousy, but... maybe we could discuss it Saturday night? Say... over dinner and after a show?"
"I have plans Saturday,"
"Lois, I know I sometimes seem to dart away just when things start to get serious, but now I feel like you're the one who's backing away."
He was right. After his constant disappearing act she'd finally had enough and decided to take a chance on Dan. It wasn't anything to write home about and he did seem a bit secretive about his work…something she wasn't used to. With Clark there was no need to hide what happened at work because they worked together. She hated the feeling she'd had in the pit of her stomach though. The nagging feeling that she was betraying her best friend by agreeing to see Dan. Now here she was a few hours before her date with Clark with the same nagging feeling. Casual relationships wasn't something she was comfortable with. She'd turned to Dan because Clark seemed to be running away from her. Now, he wasn't. Where did that leave her and Dan? Where did that leave her and Clark?
"Looks like you've got some choices to make…"
She could continue to try and date both of them but she knew that would only make her even more miserable. After watching her father parade around his mistresses during her adolescence the idea of trying to open herself up to more than one person just seemed wrong. She didn't open up to anyone easily and trying to kid herself into believing she could wasn't helping.
"Your going out with Dan DOES upset me." "I have been in love with you for a long time…you had to have known." "What happens if... you know... it bombs?"
"We'll always be friends." "Your going out with Dan DOES upset me."
As she climbed into her Jeep she pulled out her cell phone and began to dial, waiting for the call to connect. After a few rings the other line picked up and she heard the familiar greeting on the other line, "Hey, Lois,"
"Dan, hi," She began slowly. "We need to talk…"
"Sure," There was a pause, "Did you get the flowers? I'm sorry I wasn't able to make it back to Metropolis but…"
"Yes, I got the flowers, but there's something I need to say. I hate to do it over the phone, but Dan there's no easy way to say this…"
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"We need to stop seeing each other," Lois blurted out, unable to find an easier way to let him down.
"What? Why?" He asked confused.
"I can't keep doing this." She said shakily, "It's not fair to you or me or…"
"Kent?" He asked with a bite to his tone. You would have thought he was saying a curse word instead of Clark's last name.
"Or Clark," She said softly.
"I don't understand," He began to argue. "I thought we were in a good place when I left…"
Unable to elaborate she did her best to end the conversation, "I just can't do this anymore. I'm sorry." With that she hung up the phone. She let out a shallow breath, "There. Done. That wasn't so bad,"
After doing a patrol around the city and confirming his reservation at 'Bayleaf' a small authentic Indian restaurant he'd found in Metropolis. It was owned by an elderly couple that he had saved from an armed robber as Superman. The restaurant was small and quaint, perfect for a romantic evening, and the food was out of this world.
He stopped by his apartment to change, being sure to keep the suit at home. Superman was taking the night off.
Lois dabbed a dot of perfume on her wrist, checking her hair in the mirror one last time before heading to the living room to gather her things. She looked down at the burgundy dress, examining herself in the mirror. The three cord straps hung on her shoulders joining to a crisscross design on the back, meeting the silk material of the dress in the middle of her back. The dress hung on her elegantly, swooping down on her neckline with a layered burgundy mixture of silk and lace. The mixture of lace and silk came down to her knees and showing off her shapely legs. She smiled recalling the conversation they'd had before their first date.
"You'll be wearing something elegant, but not too dark. Like a charcoal suit. And I'll be wearing something in a deep...violet." "...burgundy." "Burgundy?" "Or violet." "That's what you've always dreamed of seeing me in, burgundy? I don't own anything in burgundy"
"Say you'll go out with me tonight and I promise you I will NOT disappear."
A knock on the door announced Clark's arrival and she couldn't help but smile to herself, "Punctual as always," She gave herself one more once over in the mirror before heading to the door, "Hi,"
Clark was wearing a charcoal suit with a matching solid tie, a rare tie choice for him. He looked really good. "Hi…wow…Lois, you look…amazing!"
She smiled at his reaction shyly, thrilled at the effect the dress had on his ability to string his thoughts together. "Do you like it?" She spun around, allowing the dress to sway from side to side as she gathered her things, walking toward him with a nervous grin.
"You look….gorgeous," He managed to say, taking a step toward her. He glanced at the clock, "I know I'm early," He began to apologize and she stopped him.
"It's fine, Clark," She said, leaning in to kiss him, "Let's go,"
Clark smiled as they entered Bayleaf, watching as Lois looked around the restaurant taking in the quaint atmosphere with the smells of curry in the air. He smiled at Lois as they approached the hostess desk where Namaad stood in a white pancha with menus waiting, "Dost Suno! Mr. Kent, so good to see you,"
Clark smiled at his friend, "Namaad, good to see you." He extended his hand to shake Namaad's.
"Reservation for two." Namaad said, patting the menus in his hands.
"Yes," Clark turned to Lois to introduce Namaad, "Lois, this is Namaad Suri. He and his wife, Sarati own this restaurant."
"It's beautiful," Lois said, looking around the restaurant that was decorated in lights around the room with what looked like handmade paintings and sculptures in the hand carved shelfs hovering above each table with a candle.
"Family run for fifteen years," Namaad said with a smile. "They try to push us out, but….Superman made sure we stay," He gestured to the room as they walked toward their table, "Mr. Kent a regular for quite some time." He winked at Clark before turning back to Lois,
"Oh, really," Lois said taking the seat Clark had pulled out for her as she gave Clark a smile.
Namaad handed them menus as he continued, "Authentic Indian made fresh everyday by my wife Sarita. Every plate is made with love,"
"Sounds great," Lois said opening up her menu.
The waiter came to fill their water glasses and Namaad gave a smile to Lois, "If you need anything let me know." With that he left them to look over the menu.
Lois glanced at the menu trying to decide among the exotic dishes as she spoke, "How is it I've lived in Metropolis my whole life and never knew about this place and you've lived here almost three years and …."
Clark smiled back at her, "I found it earlier this year….I was, uh, covering a story on an attempted armed robbery. It was around the same time Intergang was trying to push your uncle out of Southside?" She nodded and he continued, "Well they were having the same problems your uncle was having so I did what I could to help them drum up business. Made it a regular pit stop and had Jimmy get the word out…" He gestured around them, "It seemed to do the trick. The food's great."
"I've never had Indian before," Lois admitted shyly.
"Well then you are in luck," He grinned back at her, "because Sarita makes a mean Tikka Masala," He grinned back at her. "Just keep in mind the spice level here is authentic Indian so I wouldn't try anything above medium unless you feel like guzzling a good four gallons of water along with it."
She laughed, reaching over to grab her napkin at the same time he reached for his. Their hands brushed against one another and he smiled at her, catching her gaze before looking away. That spark had been there from the beginning. The gentle touches, hugs and embraces over the years that sent a shiver down his spine seemed to be having the same effect on Lois the closer they became. It was so hard to keep himself from kissing her when she was this close, looking at him like he was the only man in the world.
She turned away, looking down at the menu in her hands, "Um, I'll try to remember that…" She sighed glancing up at him over her menu.
He took a sip of water, "See anything you like?"
"What?" her voice caught in her throat as she set her menu down hurriedly.
He looked at her curiously and gave her a light laugh, uncertain what she thought he could possibly be talking about and elaborated, "The menu. Do you see anything you like on the menu?"
She pursed her lips, glancing through the list of entrees uncertainly, "I don't know. I'm not sure what a lot of this is." She pointed to the different sections, "I guess chicken, but I'm not sure about these different curries."
"Well, the tandoori is a grilled chicken on the bone with the red sauce. It's served over rice with onions and bell peppers. It's pretty good." He said pulling his chair closer to her to look over the menu with her as he looked over her shoulder. He held in his breath as she leaned back against him, 'She's trying to kill me.'
"Grilled is good I guess, but I'd like to try something more than just grilled chicken," Lois said, leaning closer to him.
"There's Tikka Masala which is …." He held in his breath as she leaned closer to him reading the menu with him, "really good. It's a yogurt based tomato curry. Then there's the Chicken curry which is pretty popular…Chicken Mahkni is similar with a different turmeric spice."
"What are you having?" She asked, leaning her chin against her hand as she looked up at him expectantly.
He smiled back at her, "Chicken Tikka Masala. I've tried everything on the menu, but that's my personal favorite." He glanced back at her, "Have you made up your mind yet?"
She gave him a half-smile, "I think I'm going to try the curry," She leaned back against him resting her head on his shoulder, and he fought the urge to kiss her. Instead, he placed an arm over her shoulder. "Keep in mind if I'm racing to the restroom later I will blame you,"
He laughed, "Then I suggest you order yours 'mild,'" She gave him a half-smile lifting her head up to look at him. He really wanted to kiss her, but he was terrified of scaring her off. Terrified of losing her.
Namaad walked up to their table, "Ready to order?"
Clark smiled up at his friend and handed him his menu, "I'll have the Chicken Tikka Masala, medium."
"Naan?" Namaad asked.
"Yes, and poori," Clark added.
"Not a problem," Namaad said with a smile, "And for you?" He turned to Lois.
"I'm gonna try the Chicken Curry," Lois said handing him her menu.
"Excellent," Namaad said scribbling on his pad, "Naan?"
"What is that?" Lois asked, confused.
"It's like a, uh, pita bread?" Namaad prompted, "but not. It's Indian bread we use to eat with in India. Some prefer to eat with bread than fork,"
"You eat with your hand?" Lois asked, looking at Clark curiously.
"Not here," Namaad reassured her. "You have fork if you like, but it's still good with the curry."
"I'll give it a try," Lois said with a smile. "As they say 'when in Rome,'"
"Excellent," Namaad said with a broad grin. "Let me know if you need anything. Should be out shortly,"
"Thank you Namaad," Clark said watching as Namaad left to put their order in with the kitchen.
"He seems nice," Lois commented.
"He is," Clark smiled back at her, fingering her hand that rested against his chest. He knew he should probably just enjoy the moment but he couldn't. Things had been so strained lately. "Lois, are we okay? I mean, I…" How was it that he could bend steel bars with his bare hands and put stories on paper in the blink of an eye but when it came to articulating his feelings for Lois he was tongue-tied?
She bit her lower lip, looking down at her lap for a moment before looking back up at him, "I don't know. I think we both… It's just been bad timing for the last month."
"Yeah," He nodded, "We just seem to…" What? Afraid to take the next step? Here he was scared to make the wrong move and scare her off. He was so afraid of putting himself out there again and getting hurt. The last time he put his heart on the line she'd shot him down and almost married a sociopath. They'd come a long way since then, but it still terrified him. The idea of leaving himself completely vulnerable scared him more than anything in the world. Even more than any kryptonite. Red or green.
"I know," She said softly. "I'm sorry. I know I wasn't the most …understanding after Mayson's death. It just seemed like you disappeared and…it scared me. You're better at the whole touchy-feely stuff. I didn't know what to do, and I think I just made everything worse…."
He chuckled lightly, "Lois, you're babbling,"
"I know," She said softly giving him a half-smile, "I seem to do that a lot lately,"
"I'm sorry." He apologized. "I shouldn't have said anything I just…" He stopped, uncertain of how to articulate everything he wanted to say, "Let's just try and enjoy the evening,"
"Okay," Lois murmured leaning her head back against his chest. "I can do that, but I want you to know what you said this afternoon…I know how hard it was and … Thank you for letting me in."
"Lois," he began, uncertain where this was headed. He really didn't want to get into another discussion about his disappearances in the middle of the restaurant. He knew he needed to tell her about Superman, but this wasn't the place.
"I know," She said gently. She seemed to be intent on continuing his conversation and he sighed, hoping this didn't result in his plans for the evening being ruined. "I just want you to know I heard what you said and…" He really didn't want to finish this conversation. It wasn't the place. "I'm not going to see Dan anymore. It's not fair to us, but I need to know you won't pull away again…won't shut me out,"
He wasn't sure how to respond. It was what he'd wanted from the moment he'd heard she'd agreed to go out with Scardino. Now here it was. He swallowed hard, "Lois, I don't know what to say…I…"
She leaned into him, "Clark…" She met his gaze. He could feel the sadness and uncertainty in her eyes. He wanted to take it away. He hated that he had helped to put those uncertainties there. He hated that he'd ruined the evening by bringing up their relationship. They'd been enjoying one another's company so easily until he'd asked her that dreaded question.
"Dinner is served," Namaad interrupted, setting metal bowls of curry down in front of them. Lois leaned forward, lifting herself off his shoulder and he immediately felt the coolness from the loss of contact.
Clark cleared his throat, moving his glass out of the way as the rice, raita, and naan were set on the table. "Thank you, Namaad,"
A tea kettle was set down in front of them with matching cups, and Namaad said, "Chai. Goes well with the curry. Enjoy,"
Clark nodded, "Thank you," Once the food was laid out in front of them Namaad refilled their water glasses and then turned to leave.
"What's chai?" Lois asked.
"Hot tea with evaporated milk and cardamoms," Clark explained pouring her a cup.
"Smells good," Lois said taking the cup from him warily.
Who would have thought Clark Kent would be the one to introduce her to something new around Metropolis? The restaurant was quaint and romantic, and Namaad was a lot of fun and filled with stories from his hometown in Islamabad. Overall it had been an enjoyable evening.
Then there had been the awkward conversation over dinner when he'd asked if they were 'okay.' She couldn't blame him. The last few weeks had been hard on both of them and from his lack of response when she told him she was sorry about how she'd acted after Mayson's death and her declaring she was no longer seeing Dan, she could tell he was still hurt.
He was her best friend.
She was afraid of losing him.
She'd lost him…or come close to losing him before, and that terrified her. Her almost wedding to Lex had nearly destroyed every relationship she held dear. It wasn't until she was standing in front of the mirror in her wedding dress in tears practicing her married name that she realized how much Clark meant to her. For a moment, she'd thought there was something there, but then he'd taken his declaration of love back and leaving her in a world of confusion.
She'd spent so many nights trying to 'get over' her newly realized feelings for Clark. It hadn't been easy; especially after Mayson had shown up. Mayson Drake, Assistant District Attorney that had had no problem acting on her feelings for Clark. She'd been jealous. She hated that she was jealous. She hated feeling out of control. Most of all she hated that Clark hadn't seemed to mind. She did her best to be the 'good' friend and step aside, but it had been hard and she'd almost given up hope until a few months ago when Clark had asked her out. It had surprised her and scared her at the same time.
The night of their first date she'd realized she had fallen for him. Somewhere along the line, she had fallen in love with Clark Kent. That night she'd slammed the door in his face, afraid of what would happen if she'd allowed herself to give into her emotions. She'd cried on the other side of the door listening to Clark knock on the other side confused. After diverting a nuclear disaster, he'd made her promise not to do that to him again before kissing her. Now here they were again standing in front of her door saying good night.
"Thanks for dinner. It was a lot of fun," Lois said unlocking her door. "I know we left things in the air earlier, but I had a good time. Thank you…for not disappearing,"
He nodded quietly, moving his hand to cup her cheek, fingering the strands of hair behind her ear. "I know." He reassured her, "Lois, this isn't easy for either of us, but I promise…no more shutting you out." She smiled back at him, and he continued. "I don't want to lose you, Lois, I hate that I almost did. I love you and…"
She could feel her heart rate pickup as he spoke, unable to focus on what he'd just said. "Lois?" His voice penetrated through her thoughts, and she did her best to focus on what he was saying, "Are you listening? I'm kinda pouring my heart out here, and you seem to…"
"I…I…" She stammered.
Why did this terrify her so much? She loved him. Didn't she?
Love.
"I have been in love with you for a long time. You had to have known," "I would have said anything to stop you from marrying Luthor,"
She didn't know what made her do it. All of a sudden it was like she had no control over her body as she raced into the apartment and slammed the door in Clark's face…again. What was wrong with her? Why was this so hard?
"Lois?" Clark knocked on the other side of the door.
"Get a grip," She murmured to herself.
"I have been in love with you for a long time. You had to have known," "I would have said anything to stop you from marrying Luthor,"
Another knock at the door as she fought the urge to bury her head in a pint of chocolate ice cream. "Lois, I'm not leaving until we talk about this," Clark said from the other side of the door.
"You slammed the door in my face last night."
"That was a mistake."
"Don't let it happen again."
She cringed inwardly, realizing she'd just ruined another perfect date due to her insecurities. Would she ever be able to move past everything with Claude and her father? Why was this so hard?
"Lois?" Another knock on the door.
She sighed, unable to trust herself to open the door, "I'm sorry, Clark…" She cried.
"Please, Lois, just tell me what's wrong," He pleaded from the other side of the door. This time he didn't knock. Had he heard her?
Finally, she found her voice, and she said, "That's the problem. Nothing is wrong. It was perfect. That's what scares me. I…" She could feel the tears burning her cheeks as she cried, "Oh, Clark,"
"Lois…"
Hearing the despair in his voice caused her to cry harder. "I've been lying to myself for almost a year. I thought I could hide from it but…."
"Please open the door," He pleaded with her.
"I can't…" She cried.
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because I love you too….and that scares me," She managed softly.
"Lois, open the door, please," He pleaded with her.
She could hear the strain in his voice. If she opened the door, she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She could do something she'd regret. If she didn't open the door, she could risk losing Clark, and the thought of that tore her up inside. Reluctantly she stood up, dabbing her eyes as she turned toward the door. Bracing herself as she turned the knob, she opened the door facing a defeated looking Clark on the other side. He gave her a small smirk, "I thought I told you not to let that happen again," He stepped inside, locking the door behind him. "Why do you keep doing this?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. It was odd. He looked a lot like Superman when he did that.
How did she explain to him how she was afraid of losing herself in his arms? How did she explain that she was afraid of getting hurt again even though she knew he was different?
"I'm afraid," She said shakily.
"Of what?" Clark asked exasperatedly.
She couldn't blame him. His patience had to have a breaking point after everything they'd put each other through over the last few months. She didn't trust her voice to relay what she was afraid of correctly, so she simply whispered, "Of this," She leaned in to kiss him, molding her body against him as his hand cupped her cheek, caressing her hair with his fingers, deepening the kiss.
TBC...