So this idea came to me completely randomly this morning while I was reading some funny tweets. One of these posts said "My dad is drunk hitting on my mom at our family Christmas Party and they've been married for thirty years"… I couldn't help but think of drunk Robert in S5E9. Hope you will enjoy it! Please, leave a review if you can

Christmas Eve 1924, Downton Abbey

He had had one drink too many, that was it, nothing to worry about. Well, alright, maybe more than just "one drink too many"... but he was sure he was perfectly fine.
Yes, his head felt funny, his eyes couldn't see properly and his mind was a little misty, but it had been a great, great night… well, he probably couldn't remember it all clearly, but he had this feeling he had enjoyed himself very much and, at the same time, he had had some very emotional moment… had he cried? Oh God, he hoped not: no one should ever cry on Christmas. Because it was Christmas, right? Yes, of course it was, he had no doubts about at least that: the lights, the tree, the smell of champagne in the air… it just had to be Christmas.
His heart suddenly filled with joy and his muscles bursting with energy, Robert Crawley, seventh Earl of Grantham, tried to stand up from the chair he was sitting on… just to immediately fall back, grunting noisily in disappointment. What on earth was going on? He had trained as a soldier, where were all his stamina and his strength? He gritted his teeth and tried again, but his head started spinning, and he failed once more. Disappointing, so very disappointing!

He then noticed there was a bottle of whiskey abandoned on the table beside him… wait, was it whiskey or something else? He couldn't read… well, never mind! He just poured himself another drink, swallowed it without even tasting it, and felt himself filled with energy once again: he practically jumped and, even if he finally could stand up from the bloody chair he had been stuck on, he almost fell on the floor. Eventually, he could prevent it -God only knows how-, and Robert felt particularly proud of his balance.

That's when he saw her. He almost spat his drink, astonished and astounded.
Was… was it a vision? Was he dead and God was sending him an angel? Was it all a wonderful dream? He started pinching himself all over his body: alright, he wasn't dead and it most definitely wasn't a dream… but how could he explain her, then?
She was a vision: she was standing near a big table, on the other side of the room, and Robert couldn't help but look at her in complete awe… her hair combed precisely and almost methodically was as dark as the night itself, but sparkled underneath the sweet colorful caress of the Christmas lights; her skin was fair, almost white as pearl, and her hands… oh, they were so small and slim, but he was sure they were soft to the touch. But what struck him the most were her eyes: two deep seas of blue, shining brightly and piercing his heart.
He had no idea who that gorgeous creature was, but he was more than sure about one thing: he just had to seduce her.

Suddenly, she turned to Robert, looking quite puzzled, and smiled to him. His heart stopped for a second. Was he staring? Oh God, he definitely was staring! He was such a fool!
Practically stumbling and staggering unsteadily, he strode across the room and faced the beautiful stranger woman. The awareness of being so close to her, to that wonderful body, almost made him blush, and he had to lower his eyes for a moment.
"Hello", he muttered, in what he was convinced it was a low and sensual tone, but actually sounded more like a small burp. The woman almost laughed. "Allow me to tell you, you do look extremely beautiful in that dress tonight".
"I guess… Thank you, darling", she replied, pretty disoriented. Robert listened carefully to her voice: it was sweet and determined at the same time, he liked that. But… why was she calling him "darling"? That was rather daring! And why on earth that "darling" sounded so familiar to him?
"Are you here all by yourself?", he then asked, trying to smile elegantly –and probably failing.
She didn't seem to understand what he was saying. "Well, almost everybody left, even Mary and Edith are in their rooms", she continued, "In fact, I think it's time to go to bed".
Robert, who was sipping a new drink, almost spat it all out. What had she just said?

"Oh, God", he exclaimed, and started laughing out loud. "There is no need to be so direct!".
Now the woman was looking more confused than ever. "Direct?", she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, you are a wonderful woman, my lady", he said, shrugging, "And I bet you have loads of admirers. But there was absolutely no need to be so direct!".
The blue eyes of the woman stopped looking lost: now, she just rolled them. "Robert, please, tell me this is a joke", she stated, sounding much more authoritative. Had he done something wrong? He couldn't understand.
He began to gesticulate vaguely, looking for the right words. "I don't know what you are talking about, my lady, but I can tell you this: I was sitting there, on the other side of the room, when I spotted you: a beautiful stranger, a gentle and delicate silhouette I had never seen before… and I thought to myself: I do have to talk to this woman. Because it is Christmas and… and, well, I think I might have cried tonight… more than once, maybe… and, yes, I guess seeing you just made me happy again and I may be… I may be crazily in love with you".
It was far too late when he eventually realized the last part of his passionate and "brilliant" speech wasn't exactly very good… but he also realized something else: "Wait… did you just call me Robert? How do you know my name?".
The woman really tried to pull herself together… but in the end, she could not: she bursted into laughter. He was not sure if that was a good sign or not: people were always saying you should make a woman laugh to conquer her heart… but he hadn't made any joke, so…
"Robert, darling", she said, clearly trying to be serious once again, "I am Cora… Your wife. We have been married for almost thirty-five years".

It wasn't funny. Actually, Robert felt quite hurt by her words: why was she playing with his feelings? "There are other ways to turn me down, if you don't like me, my lady", he just replied, looking away, "But to fabricate such excuses…".
Cora –if that was her real name!- opened her mouth to say something, but she immediately closed it again. She was looking absolutely bewildered. "I told you", she finally muttered with a little smile on her face, "I told you not to drink too much, after months without even a single drop of wine… I know that the departure of Tom and Sybbie is hard for you, but I cannot believe that you…".
"What?!", he cried out, not exactly in his most masculine voice, "You cannot believe that I've fallen in love with you? Why? Can't a man have a heart?". Oh, no: he was about to cry, he could feel that… but not on Christmas, for God's sake!
"We have children together, Robert", she exclaimed, exasperated and amused at the same time, "We have grandchildren. We live together. We sleep in the same bed". She paused for a moment, then she continued, lowering her voice in a whisper that made Robert feel particularly hungry… and not exactly of food. "We have also made love many times… We could even make it tonight, if you weren't so drunk, you Donk".

Donk. She had just called him "donk". He couldn't believe his ears: what had he done to deserve this? To be insulted and teased like that! Like that!
He opened his arms, began to gesticulate once again, tried to utter something, but ended up crying and sobbing like a baby… his training as a soldier hadn't helped, in the end.
"Oh, my poor sweet drunk love", Cora said, and held him in a long embrace. She was well aware of what was coming now: she had to take him to bed. She could ask help to Carson… no, she didn't want him to judge Robert. And they could also both do without Bates or Baxter, for the night… she knew Robert would probably want no one to see him in that state: it wasn't an easy time for her beloved husband. Tom was going away and taking Sybbie with him… Robert had created a strong bound with his granddaughter, and the thought of not seeing her growing up in Downton, in their home, hurt him very much.
"Hush, darling, it's alright", she consoled him, placing a kiss on his cheek.
"No", he complained, looking more childish than ever, "It is not alright… because you don't love me". He sniffed, as she stroked his arm softly.
Cora couldn't help but smile. "But I do, you fool", she replied, "I love you very much".

Before he could add anything, she took him by the hand and guided him upstairs; he let her lead the way, and she could feel him stare at her back without any kind of discretion. In fact, she liked it… she had liked every moment that drunken version of her usually serious and composed Robert had given her that night: when they had met for the very first time, ages before that Christmas, Robert hadn't fallen in love with her; now, he just needed a few drinks to see her for the first time.
And to fall in love with her immediately.

They finally made it to her room. Robert wasn't crying anymore: he was in that phase of drunkenness when you just have no idea what is going on and you are fine with that. He was kind of sleepy and had probably forgot he had tried to seduce his own wife about ten minutes earlier…
Cora helped him to lay into bed, and stroked his hair gently. He smiled at her without saying a word… he probably didn't even recognize her; she sighed and rolled her eyes.
Now it was time to take his clothes off: she removed his jacket and shirt, and looked at the chest of his wonderful husband breathing in and out. She placed a hand on it and started to rub it slowly, feeling the hair underneath her palm… Inside her, a desire suddenly awoke. Well, maybe he wasn't too drunk to make sweet love to her, after all…
She started going down, ready to remove his trousers as well and see if she could wake him up a little.

She had just started taking them off, when Robert suddenly got up, his eyes wide open and filled with rage. Well, more confusion than rage, but still, he quickly moved away and shouted: "Don't you touch me! I am a married man!". Then, he basically collapsed in bed, finally asleep.
At that point, Cora couldn't help but laugh: it had been a strange, strange night, but she felt happy, happy and proud. Happy and proud of having by her side a man who could fall in love with her for the first time after thirty-four years of marriage and also refuse to betray her… well, with herself really. And all this on the same night.
She laid by his side, smelling the sweet perfume of his skin mixed with a strong trace of whiskey, and held his hand. It was in those moments she knew for sure Robert was the only one.