A/N: A treat because I have a minor break before I writemy other exams. Enjoy!

Thanks to my beta Ctenaphore.D She said I said that I said was said too many times. You're the only one who'll get this joke, I know.

The door bell of 221 B buzzed, breaking the monotony of the day nicely.

"Client!" Sherlock literally jumped out of his arm-chair and flopped about the room like a nine-year old girl. John, too used to these behavioral swings, merely got up to get his note-pad.

The client came in and after a few preliminary deductions (or in other words, showing off), Sherlock sat in his arm-chair and folded his palms.

"Mr. Holmes, I'm Phil Sagarson. I'm currently the director to a musical video of a very prominent band which I can't name yet..."

"Madness Within. We know. Continue" Sherlock murmured, his eyes still closed.

The client jerked a little but restored his air in a surprisingly short amount of time.

"Okay, the band is Madness Within. I have reasons to believe that their manager, , is part of a smuggling ring." Mr. Sagarson's voice became a little quicker here "I can't say anything for sure Mr. Holmes. He keeps carrying a different suitcase everyday. Strange people come to the set for him and it is always to drop off a bag. I found some antique cups in his room once. He leaves for a notoriously long amount of time and always carries a bag. I can't go to the police with this. The band's reputation..."

"How do your crew members take this?" Sherlock said, after a minute of silence.

"They think he's having an affair, becasue he always looks so satisfied when he returns. I don't know Mr. Holmes, it is only a suspicion"

"Tell me about the video" Sherlock said, now opening his mobile.

"Well, the song is called I Know You. We are actually planning on having a contest and the winners will be featured in the video. It is to be announced tomorrow."

"What sort of contest?" John asked, seeing that Sherlock was quite busy with his phone.

"You see, the song is about couples who know each other. It's about..hang on, I'll read out from the announcement" he took out his phone "...about couples who've endured hardships in the past, about time and constancy. We are in search of that couple who are an embodiement of the song - a couple that has no secrets."

"I'm sorry, what?" John asked, not taking in even a single word. It all sounded like those corny movies his girlfriends made him watch.

"They are going to quiz the couples about each other and see how much they know each other. Apparently, that is a measurement of the love they have for each other" Sherlock said, now looking away from the phone.

"Oh, it's not just a quiz. It's much more than that. We've ensured that no couple gets via trickery. Only genuine couples who actually know and understand each other will stand a chance. I and my wife did a test run..."

"And?"

"We've got past round two and no further. We've only been married for a year, though. We are working on it." Mr. Sagarson said, looking slightly embarassed.

"Well, I looked up Mr. Simmons." Sherlock said, breaking the silence that seemed to have conjured istelf. "He has a record. I think, John, he might be part of that dark flower group.." Sherlock raised his eyebrows to warn John about not giving the name The Black Lotus

"Well, you and Mycroft should enter the contest" John said jokingly.

Sherlock's eyes suddenly glimmered.

"No" John said, fully knowing what just happened.

"John..." Sherlock began.

"No" John cut him off.

"But..."

"No"

"Shan..."

"No"

"For me?"

"No"

"I'm sorry?" Mr. Sagarson said, clearly confused. He did not understand the one word argument the couple were presently having. Or what triggered it. All he knew was that Mr. Holmes turned to that doctor and it just broke out.

"You see, there's only one way in which I can help..." Sherlock began, only to be cut off by John again.

"I'm not going to pretend to be your boyfriend, Sherlock! The assumptions, I can handle but not this!"

"Oh, so you are going to enter the contest as well?" Mr. Sagarson said, intrigued.

"Well, it's the safest way. I played with the idea of being the make-up artist but I don't think you have the connections. Anyway, this is more efficient."

Mr. Sagarson looked at Sherlock, clearly playing with the idea. He finally smiled saying,

"Well, your eye conversation means you'll atleast get past round one. That's enough time isn't it?"

"Plenty" Sherlock said, whipping out his phone again.

"Hang on. I haven't agreed!" John said, irritated with the non-verbal agreement Sherlock and Mr. Sagarson had.

"You wouldn't have to do anything, Dr. Watson. Maybe hand-holding but that's all"

"Hand holding?" John said, completely flabbergasted.

"Yes, John, that's what they call it when two people touch each others hands. Mr. Sagarson, we'll be at the preliminary selections tomorrow. Good day" Sherlock said, waving his hand in clear dismissal.

"Thank you, Mr. Holmes."

"Sherlock, please. I am sending you the details of our fake identites right now." Sherlock said, not looking above his phone.

The client nodded and left luckily before the storm erupted in 221 B.

"WHY...WHAT...NO" John seemed to have lost the ability of constructing a sentence.

"Think, John. General Shan could be at it again."

"Could be, but WHY THE HELL am I to suffer? Be the bloody make-up artist!" John yelled.

"Oh, come on, John. Half fridge space and no experiments in the house for two weeks"

"A month" John was calming down.

"Three weeks"

"Deal"

They both shook hands and went through the details of the competiton. Apparently, there were three rounds. They sounded pretty ridiculous to be frank. The first round was to test the couple's understanding. They would be blind-folded and would have to find each other. They were not allowed to speak. The first five couples who did so would reach the second round. All other rounds were equally corny.

"I'll wear a really strong cologne" Sherlock said, after ridiculing the entire thing.

John calmed himself, laughing at Sherlock. It was alright really. They were friends. John never really felt that way for Sherlock. It was just people's assumptions got on his nerves. They were doing it for a case and John felt slightly ashamed for his outburst earlier. It wasn't like he would have to kiss Sherlock.

"So, what are our fake personas?"

"I'm William and you are Hamish" Sherlock said, readying himself for another explosion. It did not come. Clearly, John was too tired to argue.

"Alright fine, staying close to the truth then. Will you be wearing a disguise?"

"Of course. You should too. Would you like a wig? That should do it"

"Yes please"

They spent a lot of time in Sherlock's bedroom trying on different wigs. Sherlock amused John by wearing all his costumes and saying ridiculous lines. He remember one memorable moment when Sherlock wore the traffic police-men's unfiorm and said:

"Never race without protection"

They both in fact had a pretty good time. John went back to his room, pleased with how life was. He completely forgot what it is that he was going to do tomorrow.

SHSHSHSHSH

John woke up to the sound of Sherlock's voice.

"Hamish!"

John looked up groggily.

"What?"

"A repeated lie becomes the truth" Sherlock replied, now opening the curtains to let the sunlight hit John's face.

"Come on now. Wear your wig" Sherlock huffed, throwing a many legged spider on his face, which John later realised was the wig.

"Blond?" John raised an eyebrow.

"It suits you" Sherlock said in a non-comittal tone.

"Where's your disguise then?"

"Surprise" Sherlock continued his non-chalant tone "and by the way, start calling me WIlliam"

"Good morning, WIlliam" John said, in an attempt at Sherlock's drawling voice. He failed.

"Good morning, Hamish. Now, get ready. You need to be there in an hour. I'll come by a little later"

SHSHSHSHSH

John had never heard of Madness Within but when he reached the auditorium, atleast half of London's population seemed to have made it their mission to get selected. John adjusted his wig nervously and gave their details to the man in charge. The couples would be given a number and it was more or less like a lottery draw. John texted their number 1156 to Mr. Sagarson.

He waited until the draw was to take place, tapping his foot impatiently waiting for Sherlock. Mr. Sagarson arrived along with the band which caused an instant uproar and thus temporary deafness. The band members (four male and two female) all waved at them. Each band member, the director and the producer would pick a number thus selecting eight couples. John saw many couples crossing their fingers. He smirked and said jauntily to the couple next to him.

"I'm getting in" he said in a cocky manner.

"Admire your confidence mate. The odds are not good" the man replied, holding his girl-friend's (no, wife! the ring) hand and crossing his other hand.

The band members played a song called The X Mask to entertain the crowd. John, however, was slightly worried. Sherlock hadn't arrived yet.

Where are you? They're going to begin! - JW

At the auditorium. Can't make my way through. I'll join you on stage? -SH

All right. Our number is 1156 - JW

A laptop was brought onto the stage and the instructions were clear. Each member would pick a four digit number and type it on the screen which would then be visible via the projector they had on stage.

The first band member typed: 1

The area near John was in instant uproar.

2 9 0

There was a high pitched scream and a couple went to the stage, resembling Sherlock when he first hears about a good case, that is, giggly and jumpy. John couldn't see anything.

Not that he needed to. He was going to join them on stage anyway.

After 0987,0034,0001,0689,1230, it was the turn of Mr. Sagarson. He walked towards the laptop and typed:

1

Temporary deafness.

1

God, how did the noise become more louder?

5

The couple beside him were quivering with excitement. The woman literally was jumping and down her seat, clutching the paper that denoted their number. John braced himself for their groans.

6

As expected, the couples beside him groaned. The man with whom John talked to earlier, looked at him with utter disbelief as John got up. He slowly made way through the disappointed crowd, trying to focus on not stamping anybody's foot. After an eternity, he reached the stage, the lights blinding him. John swore, were they going to deprive him of his five senses today? He climbed onto the stage, shaking everyone's hands, still blinded to see who it was he gave his hand to.

"Very excited. Yeah, thank you. Great music."

There was suddenly silence for which John was very grateful. He blinked again, his vision slowly becoming normal. He then realised the cause for silence.

It was Sherlock.

Or was it?

The man who beside him was nothing like Sherlock. But, he was Sherlock. John never felt this confused. He never felt this...attracted? before either. Sherlock's hair was all over the place - a treat for the hands. It looked like he just got out of bed and yet had that distinct personality about it. His eyes were his natural blue, shining (probably with the false excitement of getting selected). His lips...Sherlock seemed to have realised that God gifted him the perfect set of lips and decided to take advantage of it. He carefully outlined his Cupid's bow, taking care that it looked completely natural. And dear God above, was that eyeliner?

John felt a little tug in the area of his stomach. Never did he realise the truthfulness of the phrase "knocking your air out". His hands were itching to wrap themselves up in his hair, to explore every nook of face, to touch. And those lips.

John was too preoccupied to hear the jeerings and the catcalls of "Gay!" and "Faggots!". He was too preoccupied to notice that the eighth couple were selected. Actually, he became unaware of everything in the world. There was only one thing in his mind and that was Sherlock's damn eyeliner.

To make it even worse, Sherlock held John's hand, smiling at the band and ignoring the audience.

"Please act happy" he whispered.

That brought John right back to Earth. He smiled at the audience and waved at them. Now, that the couples had been selected, the rest of the auditorium quietened down. Most of them were in tears while the rest merely seemed to be happy to stay and look at their favorite band in real life. The crew ushered them to another room so that they could receive their instructions while the band played a parting song for the crowds.

Meanwhile, John had only one thought:

He was attracted to Sherlock Holmes.

The realisation opened many doors and contemplations about his sexuality.

"Don't sweat it" his long-forgotten teacher's advice rang in his ears. "Let it happen and don't take rash decisions. You don't have to define your sexuality. You are allowed to live your life in whatever way you want"

"I don't have to do anything right away" he told himself, trying to think about the matter in hand.

"So, congratulations!" the director said, looking at the eight couples.

Now that John had Sherlock out of his mind, he noticed the other couples. He didn't bother trying to remember their names, he could always ask Sherlock. They were all straight couples except for one lesbian couple - Tara and Samantha. Apparently, they were the eighth couple he did not notice. Before he could analyze further, the director began talking.

"So sorry, Tara and Samantha! And, William and..."

"Hamish" John grunted, his irritation with his middle name not forgotten.

"Hamish. Right. The crowds were pretty anti-LGBT back there. You okay, Hamish? You looked quite angry..."

Oh, so that's how they interpreted it. Well, John was not going to correct them.

"Quite alright now, Mr. Sagarson. Thank you"

"Now, the crew members are pretty excited about this. They are the ones organizing the contest. My job is to film you all and put the winners clips in the video. So, without further ado, let me introduce you to Mr. Garibaldi!" Mr. Sagarson said and walked away, no doubt to being filming right from this moment.

A blond guy in his early twenties walked towards them, clearly excited. His hands were quivering and there was a bounce in his step.

"Please call me Tom" he said, pushing away a tuft of his hair, smiling at them all.

"So, right on to it then" He sounded more business-like now. "We are all very excited to have you all here. The crew had a lot of fun planning all this. We are going to have four rounds - each testing your understanding, your co-operation and like the song says, your knowledge of each other. Your first task begins this afternoon - so, I say, get some rest guys! Agatha will guide you to your rooms. Agatha?"

A twenty something girl quickly came and in her haste, dropped the notebook she was carrying. Sherlock, no, William, picked it up and gave it back to her. He whispered something to her and the girl looked more scared than ever. She quickly showed them to their rooms and left.

"So?" William said, as if he were waiting for John to say something. Did he look hopeful?

"So?" John whispered.

"The manager!" Sherlock reverted to his old voice, for which John was grateful. His voice seemed to have woken John up. The man in front of him was his friend. Someone he lived with for eight years. Not a model to ogle at.

"He wasn't here..." John said slowly.

"Exactly, Jo-Hamish! I'm trying to make friends with the crew to get some dirt. Nothing so far. Shall we go and take a look at his rooms?"

"Of course"

Both of them sneaked out, determined not to let anyone see them. They soon found the manager's room. He was apparently in because they could hear him talk on the phone. Sherlock frowned and beckoned John so that they could leave.

"John" Sherlock said in a small whisper, after they returned to their room.

The easy going atmosphere turned electric in a nano-second.

"I'm sorry" he said in a low voice, careful not to let his voice be heard in other rooms.

"What for?"

"The catcalls? I know it made you angry - you turned red and were clenching your fists"

"Oh, that. Well...that's alright" John said, adjusting his wig for lack of better things to do.

"Here, let me help you with that" William said, reaching for John's wig. Their fingers touched - just like they did a million times before. But, something was different this time. John could feel his heart thumping out loud. He remained very still, not knowing what to do.

Both their heads turned at a knock on the door.

"Mr. and uh... Mr. Atkins, are you ready?" Agatha came in, and asked.

Sherlock immediately left to comb his hair. John nodded mutely.

"Good then. We need you in five minutes. Good luck!" she said, smiling at Sherlock. He smiled back.

"Wearing that cologne then?" John joked.

Sherlock relaxed, and instead put on an expression John was very familiar with. He became consulting detective Sherlock from model William.

"Of course not. Take this phone" he said, handing over an iPhone. He took out another phone.

"So, as soon as I am two meters away from you'll feel a light vibration. As we get close, it'll only become stronger. But, don't directly come towards me. Fumble a bit but don't move much from your location."

John nodded, taking the phone.

They left the room, both of them seemed keen to follow an unspoken one-foot gap rule between them.

All the other couples were either overly excited about meeting the band or too determined to win. They were whispering to each other and John caught the gist of their conversations.

"Oh my god! I'm standing in front of Matt"

"Wait, he has a piercing?"

"Look at her heels!"

"If I tap my left foot, the answer begins with a vowel, okay?"

"What's my favorite quote again?"

John merely sat with Sherlock, listening to Sherlock's deductions.

"Look at that woman in red heels. Obviously cheating. And, the guy currently on the phone? He's gay but doesn't know how to tell his wife"

"What were you whispering to Agatha?"

"Oh, you noticed that? I merely told her I could help if she was being abused at home. Which she is"

"Okay. And, hey tell me something about the band. I'm supposed to be a fan"

"Well, yes, it's better that way. I can't pretend I like them. So, yes, they are in fact from London. The X Mask is their most popular song yet. It's from their current album Hard Rock. It's about a girl who wears a metaphorical mask, look it up. They are presently on their tour for Hard Rock. The singer Matt apparently witnessed a marriage and was inspired by the wedding vows and wrote I Know You. They've already recorded it. They are trying to video tape and release it as a single. More publicity"

His iPhone vibrated, clearly the app had begun its work. Great. As if he needed another remainder of how close he and Sherlock were sitting and what little effort would be required to hold his hand. John sighed. He had a feeling that it was going to be a long day.

A/N: Moriarty killed Shan. Yes.