Trigger

A/N: *rises from beneath a layer of smoke and fog close to the ground, arms locked straight like a zombie...basically Mushu's wake-up scene from Mulan* I LIVE! *looks around at crowd of people staring at me* Okay, so I may have some explaining to do.

Lemme start out with THIS IS MY FAULT BECAUSE I HAVE A SHODDY MEMORY. Seriously. Sometimes I forget I even have this site. (In my desperation for some good Fem!Bilbo/Thorin fics, I turned to Archive of Our Own- *collective gasp of shock* I know, I know. I actually broke my routine. Weird, right?)

Anyway, it kinda went downhill from there. It got exponentially worse when I discovered the magical (pun intended) world of UNDERTALE. And then rapidly fell down the hole into Mt. Ebott and haven't actually fully emerged yet and may never do so. Basically, I've been pinging back and forth between Erebor and Ebott for the past few months, with occasional side-trips to other fandoms. Whoops.

But THEN my sister told me she was gonna link my page to her account bio on Wattpad (That_Lovely_Potato, Ellie_Phillips; look for the Multi-fandom Imagines book, she's close to the top spot), AND I'd been saying I was gonna go through and edit, like 85% of my previously written stories (I got a new laptop a few months ago -holla! - and have WordOffice instead of WordPad, and the former has a bigger screen/layout/space/whatever than the latter (in the form I like it in), and if I edit something I have in my personal library, then I have to post the updated version here, and...yeah, you get the picture.

So! Down to the nitty-gritty. Firstly, I won't promise I'm coming pack permanently, because I don't like breaking promises, and despite what Peter 'Amazing Spider-Man/SP Reboot Two' Parker says, the best promises aren't ones you can't keep. I will say that I have a few stories that I've altered majorly (Acceptance is Surprisingly Easy, Alone, and Quiet Night [I pretty much rewrote this one]) that I will post in the upcoming days. I also have a whole bunch of stories (Achy Breaky Heart, Ayyy Macarena, The Broadway Tree Chase, The Hanging Tree [which I'm only keeping up for the sake of the three people who've favorited/followed it], Triggers, and New Avengers) that I'm gonna post today/tomorrow. So yeah.

Thirdly, I would like to offer a HUGE apology to people who have requested stories of me. I, uh...haven't really done overmuch with them. I THOUGHT I would be able to use them to help me claw my way out of writer's block, but...all I did was tell people I was gonna do something that I hoped I wouldn't put off like I have. Really sorry. I'm gonna leave them in my 'Requested Stories' draft folder, as I don't want to give up on them yet, but...y'know...don't hold your breath. Again, I'm really sorry about this.

Without further ado, here are the stories!

Melissa Gold had been at the Tower for two weeks. Surprisingly, she handled the crazy much better than anyone anticipated. She was quick at analyzing, adapting, anticipating, and reacting. She never took more than 4 tries or conversations or training sessions to get the hang of something, and she always, always had it down pat within 10. They knew it had something to do with her observation skills.

They didn't know what all she was observing.

The first thing she noticed was the lack of tension. Like, at all. In SHIELD training, they'd tell stories of how Pietro Maximoff once had to be restrained by a whole squad of agents because he simply saw Tony Stark, and that his sister would mess with Tony's head. She was told that Natasha Romanoff would disappear anyone she didn't like. She heard stories of how Steve Rodgers and Tony would argue and fight and neither would talk to each other for hours afterwards.

She even heard that one fight went so far as to require Director Fury's intervention.

Of course, now that she was living at the Tower, she recognized those stories as being products of a runaway rumor mill. Served her right for actually believing them. Then again, there were other tidbits of info that came in handy. Like Thor's reputed and accurate love of Pop Tarts, Pepper Potts and Tony Stark's secret marriage (which was small, not secret, as it turned out), Natasha's simultaneous adoration and avoidance of any ballet-related anything, and Clint Barton's travel via air vents.

And while she kept a close catalog of all the info that she'd accrued through watercooler talk, she never let a single piece of info about her team go because of that. Her team. The Thunderbolts. Of course, she knew that her team was now part of a bigger team and that all this info would come in handy and she'd eventually have to break down and write it all out somewhere (likely multiple somewheres), but for now, she just watched and not acted.

The second thing was the triggers.

Little things, really. Steve doesn't like talking about trains or Arctic oceans. Bucky Barnes (The actual Winter Soldier!) avoids all talk about trains, mountain ravines, and HYDRA labs. Natasha doesn't speak about ballet beyond 'Oh, I know how to dance that' and other similar comments, or about her childhood at all. Sam Wilson doesn't talk about a certain day during his deployment, but he doesn't avoid talking about his deployment altogether. Clint refuses to talk about his time in the circus, period.

It isn't just refusal to speak about certain places, events, times, or people, though. There are actual, physical triggers.

Tony flinches at the sounds of loud explosions not on TV when not in his suit. Steve nearly broke a whole wall after being doused in icy water and shut down for the rest of the day. Loki (by now, he'd been with the Avengers long enough that SHIELD recruits and rookie superheroes are no longer assuming he was a bad guy) jumps at anything that sounds too raspy or seems too dark. Bucky hears the sound of metal peeling off, of pipes breaking and train wheels squealing, and just goes catatonic. Nikki cannot keep calm around doctors (except FitzSimmons).

Just little stuff. Little things.

But it's the little things that really matter.

So, for the 8th time since arriving and settling into her room, Melissa researches the Avengers. She pours over each and every file in both the Tower's Data Crux and SHEILD's database. She looks for the traumatic events, the things that give them nightmares and triggers, the dark demons of their past that they absolutely refuse to acknowledge or speak of. She studies, looking for possible triggers, and compiles a list. Her second list is of the things she can do to help. Little tips and hints and tricks and whatnot she's picked up over the years.

She then starts to carry out these helpful little deeds. She's kind and caring, she knows when to give support and when to give space. She's careful and cautious not to say or do anything that might be a trigger.

And they notice. They give her bright, thankful smiles, give her hints on surviving the Tower, teach her how to navigate the political world that she's been thrust into by accepting a spot on the most recognized group in the world. Info she passes along to her team, teaching them all the tricks the more senior (sometimes biologically, sometimes only experience-wise) Avengers teach her. She distributes the info as easily as she acquired it.

The highlight of her day is when Steve smiles, pats her shoulder, and says she's got the hallmarks of a true leader. But this isn't to win favor. This isn't just because she's sucking up or trying to get them to trust her, or because it makes her life easier to do all this.

It's because she's got a trigger too.

She still flinches at the sound of bottles being thrown and breaking, still waits for those thundering footsteps marching up the stairs, still tenses for the blow she knows will be coming as soon as she smells that Jack Daniels. Because for all his efforts at being a good man, her father was a broken drunkard after her mother's arrest, and though it only happened once a week, once every two if she was lucky, he still drank a little too much and got punchy. She loved her daddy, but he wasn't always the best man.

This is something Tony catches about three weeks after they start sharing tips with the newbie who studies and cares. He catches the bottle that slips from Clint's lax fingers after a competition (that Clint somehow won). He's grateful that her room isn't anywhere near a staircase, but he still warns people to 'take it easy on the floor, hey?' around her room. He punishes anything or anyone that dares to lay a hand on her during fights. He tells everyone (discreetly) to lighten their blows on her.

Because they all have triggers.

Because Melissa Gold isn't any different than they are.

Because the Avengers take care of their own.