Need You

Sam growled under his breath as Dean and Cas glowered at each other from across the table in the library. It had been like this since they came back to the Bunker. Dean was mad that Cas killed Billie and reneged on their deal and Cas was pissed that he and Dean tried to sacrifice themselves and refused to apologize for saving their skin. The result, a standoff of the two most stubborn beings to have ever walked on Chuck's Earth. Sam got the impression there was something else to this too but couldn't put his finger on it. Mary had taken off to do some hunting, insisting her boys take some time to recover, and that left him to deal with their little grudge match. Feeling a little petulant but also at his wits end, Sam huffed out a breath and picked up his phone. Mom… you busy?

Elsewhere Mary had just dusted a vamp when her phone went off, Not at the moment. What's wrong? Are you and Dean alright?

We're fine but Dean and Cas are driving me nuts! They won't stop bickering over what happened with Billie. It's like they're an old married couple! Can you just, I don't know, call and tell them to stop?

Mary softened into a smile. Tell them that I said the promise they made was about more than just where they went physically…and tell Dean, yes I know about it.

Sam stared at the message intrigued, he knew there was more to this but also sensed that he was treading on some sensitive territory. He looked up between the pair and decided to start easy, "Are one of you going to say something?"

"It's not like Dean will care."

"S'not like Cas will listen."

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, "Guys this is getting us nowhere. What's done is done, can we just move on?"

"And what? Ignore the impending cosmic consequences that our dear friend put us in line for," Dean snarked and Cas flinched like he was slapped but remained resolute.

"No, no by all means Dean, go ahead, kneel before another reaper and offer up your life. It's not like there wouldn't be any consequences of that. None at all." Dean scrunched his face, clearly holding back some diatribe.

Sam tried his best not throw something as he got up and made to leave. "I'm going to bed." He stopped at the doorway and looked back at them. "I texted mom," he informed them. "She said that the promise you made was about more than just were you went physically. Now I don't get it but yes Dean she knows." With that he left, grumbling echoes following in his wake.

Dean was gaping, "She knows?"

"She overheard us in the car," Cas explained. "We have her blessing, ironic and fitting all things considered." They were silent for a long moment then Cas said, "You promised Dean."

"It's not the same -"

"Like hell it isn't!" Cas roared in defiance. "You swore to me, wherever we go, we go together. We had this exact discussion after the Darkness. You just up and decide that it'd be better or advantageous somehow if you were dead. Don't even pretend like you were going to let Sam give up his life."

"It was our only option at the time," Dean countered. "You don't understand what that place was doing to us. Sammy and I were literally losing our minds. We did everything we could to hold on but it was getting to us."

"I don't underestimate what you went through but of all the deals to make," Cas's jaw tightened.

"It was the only one Billie would accept!" Dean cried, jumping to his feet.

"Really?" Cas challenged, getting up too and getting right into Dean's face. "Look me in the eye and tell me you tried. Tell me you attempted to offer something, anything else before your life." When Dean had no answer, Cas got his. "I thought so. Seven weeks, 4 days, 9 hours."

"What?"

"That's how long you were gone, from the time you went missing to the time we found you in the woods," Cas's gaze never wavered. "That's how long I scoured every inch of this country for you, check your phone you'll find at least a message an hour from me. I did everything I could and when we're finally together, it's what twenty minutes at best before I have to lose you again. At least a demon deal gets you ten years."

"No demon would make a deal with us," Dean shook his head.

"That is not the point!" Cas nearly cried in frustration. "You treat your life like it's a poker chip. Easy to lay down and if you lose it, that's the game but this is not a game and your life is worth more than a chip." He grabbed the front of Dean's shirt and shook it to punctuate each statement, "You are needed! You are loved! If by no one else, then by me. Am I not enough Dean?" There. He said it.

The question floated in the air, weighing on both. Dean didn't say a word but in action to fast for the naked eye, his hand was behind Cas's head, crushing their lips together. As far as first kisses went, it wasn't ideal. Their grips too tight, bodies too tense, mouths pressed too hard but it was something, it was real. They broke apart slowly, pulling in breaths. "You are enough," Dean said gruffly. "You still shouldn't have done that."

"I won't apologize for it," Cas said firmly. "You wouldn't."

Dean rubbed his head, "It was a stupid move."

"It was a stupid deal," Cas countered. "I still have to find Kelly. I'm not sure how she managed to disappear so thoroughly but I now get the impression that the government has more capabilities than I was previously aware."

"You taking off?"

"Briefly, I have a lead I need to follow up on. I shall return," Cas promised as he prepared to go.

"We're not done here Cas," Dean called after him.

"I should hope not," Cas flashed him a smirk before leaving.

A/N: Hey guys, so I might have used Cas to vent my frustrations on the Winchesters but the sentiment remains the same. I'm slowly easing my way into the world of Destiel so please let me know if I got this right. For those who don't ship them, I wrote a blog post on Tumblr called 'Destiel isn't real, and I'll survive' so you can refer to that before you flame me heart and soul. Until next time, ENJOY! R&R PLZ!